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Found 5 results

  1. So the question going forward is how to be an ethical slut? I think it would be good to have a community discussion on it… One point of view is like that expressed by @Sobaystud above. That approach aims for zero risk. It's admirable, but is it maintainable? Those of us who went through the AIDS pandemic had a variety of approaches to dealing with it, and I think some of them are appropriate here. Personally I got through the '90s with 1) the best information I could find, and 2) risk reduction (but not complete risk elimination). So when the Limelight reopened a dark room, it was the first one in the City in many years. I was right in there for hours at a time. I was doing oral, j/o, and while I was vers at the time, but never got fucked in there. It wasn't the place. What shocked some guys was that I wanted them to cum on me. They thought it was really risky, but I knew it wasn't (HIV dies when exposed to air). The dark room was really hot and I'd get totally sweaty. The loads guys dumped on me would mix with the sweat and when I'd leave I was literally dripping wet with a mix of cum and sweat. I loved wiping my had over my chest and feeling it totally slick and covered in cum. The point of that story was that I took a little risk. I did stuff that was edgy for the time, but it was all based on risk reduction. That said, I didn't stop living my life. And I still had a blast. I'm not sure it's smart to tell people "just say no" – it's like religious fundamentalists – they bottle stuff up so much that when they finally let go they do some really fucked up shit. Personally I think we need a middle ground. Sensible risk reduction that might not eliminate all risk, but a strategy that reduces and spreads out the risk. So in other words, the risk you might take going to one crowded sex party – can you spread that out over different types of activities, so you might get say 2 hookups a week for 6 months that are the same cumulative risk as that one sex party? Here are some of what I think could substantially reduce risk. Feel free to add your approaches… Trusted Partners – This one is totally HIV Pandemic 101 – get to know guys before you fuck and get a sense for how much risk they're taking. Whether they've been tested and have antibodies, etc. There's this one little Asian guy I know is pretty kinky who wants to hookup when things get back a bit closer to normal. He's been possibly more conservative than me through this whole thing, so I know hooking up with him is pretty low risk. And I know him and trust him. Sex Outdoors – The news today was that a study done in China with extensive contact tracing found almost no cases of outdoor transmission. So hooking up outdoors, in parks, in the dunes at beaches, etc. could be a viable way to reduce your risk. 1-on-1s Instead of Groups – Let's say you go to a sex party and come in close contact with 100 guys, but only have sex with 40 of them. Well, you just took on 100 units of risk for only 40 units of benefit. If you did 40 1-on-1 hookups you'd get the same benefit for 40% of the risk, and probably have more sex in the process. Regulars Rather Than Strangers – If we're talking about units of risk, hooking up with the same guy 5 times, while not 1 unit of total risk, is less than 5 units of risk. Maybe it's 2 units of risk. But you just saved 3 units of risk… Quickies – That's another finding that came out in the past day or two – the shorter the interaction, the less risk. So a 5-10 minute pump-n-dump is substantially safer than an hour long hookup. I'm not going to say it's 1/12th or 1/6th of the risk, but maybe it's 1/3rd of the risk. Full Hoods with No Openings – If you like blindfolds, and you're thinking about wearing a mask during sex, combine the two and wear a full hood. It can be a $15 spandex one or a rubber / neoprene one, or a $300 custom leather hood. The point is, it actually makes the sex hotter while reducing risk. Now if giving a blowjob is important to you (or in my case felching a cummy hole), it may not be a workable solution. But if you don't feel like you're giving up anything, go for it… Here's a decent article that goes over risk reduction strategies for more mundane tasks, but a lot of the bullet points apply to sex equally well… So the next question is when… I think this one is a bit more contentious. Clearly some people never stopped hooking up. And other people are going to wait for months. And if that works for them, 👍, but it won't work for everyone. Personally there are several things I'm considering… Is the hospital system overwhelmed? Is the risk low enough to be acceptable? While NYC isn't to their target of 30% of hospital beds free and 30% of ICU beds free, they're getting there. So even now I think #1 is a big issue here. In a couple weeks I wouldn't consider it to be an issue at all. Then there's the question of risk. That's a lot more complicated. I don't interact with a lot of people normally, so my risk is primarily personal (and risk to my husband). I don't have the worry of elderly friends or family. I should also mention that my husband got both an RNA and antibody test recently and both were negative. So I'm almost certainly negative as well. Bottom line, if you catch it there's a little less than a 1% chance (on average) that you'll die. On the risk charts, being 52, I'm pretty much smack dab "average". Then there's the risk of all the other complications. If someone gave you a bowl of 100 M&Ms and said "there's one in there that will kill you", would you eat any of the M&Ms? Having candy is pretty optional, so no you probably wouldn't. But what if it were the only food around and you hadn't eaten in days? Then yeah, you'd probably risk it. But it's not like there's a 1% chance of death every time you hookup. The 1% chance of death gets multiplied by the chance you'll catch COVID in that particular hookup, and that's where the whole risk reduction thing comes in. IMHO, you have to take the risk of that particular hookup and compare it to things like going to the grocery store, or hanging out with friends in a park for an hour or two. Just because it's sex doesn't mean it's undeserving of some of your "risk budget". Personally I'm considering hooking up in a couple weeks. (Just considering at this point – this post is part of my thought process). And I'd start with low risk stuff like trusted partners, sex in parks, and quickie pump-n-dumps. A low risk activity like those once or twice a week will have a significant quality of life benefit. So what's your thinking on all this?
  2. To what extent has the Covid-19 pandemic impacted your sexual activities over 2020 and now into 2021? Did you abstain from hookups for a time? Or reduce your numbers? For those who are into group sex/gangbangs/orgies, how much was your sex life affected by the shutdown of organized events and parties? Did you just stop that sort of activity or did you manage to find unofficial “underground” groups that were still going?
  3. I thought about holding off on this story to see how it ends, but I think it's more important that it be told now… This is something I saw on Twitter yesterday. I'm dumbfounded… March 27th… So the guy is under "lockdown" (a stay-at-home order), and he's still hooking up – and proud enough of it to post it on Twitter. March 31st… 4 days after the first hookup, he posts a video of another hookup.… April 3rd… 3 days after the 2nd hookup he posts pics and videos from yet another hookup… April 7th… And then surprise, surprise… That's right… 3 hookups later he's in the hospital with COVID-19. He's stupid enough to think he's in the ICU when he's not – he's probably just in a ward with all COVID patients. If he were in ICU he'd have breathing support (either be intubated or be attached to a BiPAP machine). Oh, and the kicker is he's calling the nurse a bitch and mocking the fact that she says she's tired! I just want to strangle the guy. If he reads this… "You're a fucking asshole. If karma doesn't catch up to you this time around, it will at some point. And guess what, I won't give a shit when it does." People, seriously, be responsible! Hospitals are over capacity. People are dying. There's no cure. There isn't even a decent treatment. Even in the middle of the AIDS crisis hospitals could manage their core caseloads. This is a whole other order of magnitude above that pandemic. It's gonna be a long time (probably years) before we're back to where we were before with big sex parties and crowded bathhouses. Even when the stay-at-home orders are lifted people will still need to be vigilant to avoid another peak of the pandemic. You'll need to focus on risk reduction – fewer partners, 1-on-1s, maybe sex in parks, maybe gloryholes. But being legs up in a bathhouse taking all loads isn't going to happen again until there's at least a decent treatment. If for no other reason, that sensible gay guys are gonna stay away. Here's a poll I did on Twitter a few days ago… Only a bit over 1/3rd of guys will risk a crowd when the stay-at-home orders are lifted (and that's now when they're horny and jacking off to Twitter, before the pandemic hits their city/town)… We can hope the clinical trials they're doing now turn up something, but who knows. Don't be like that guy above. Don't be a COVIDiot!
  4. I know there's probably been a thousand threads of this nature already but is anyone else struggling with not being able to meet under UK lockdown? I know lots of people are still meeting and that's their prerogative, but for me I went from having the most cumdump heaven year in 2019 to having like one load since last February. I find myself going onto Fabguys and Scruff and Recon, chatting to hot tops wanting to fuck me but it eventually peters out when I and/or them decide to stay responsible. We make half-hearted arrangements to keep each other in mind when fucking can be a thing again but I feel like such a stick in the mud. It's annoying because I've shaken off meeting for so long but, because of things outside my control, it doesn't look like this pandemic and lockdown is going to end anytime soon. Then again, if it does, I've got a fucking colossal list of guys that want to unload in me so that keeps me going. Luckily the last time I had sex was amazing and the memory of it keeps me going that I can have a night like that again. A regular of mine with a 9.5 incher came round and fucked me anon, then got on the apps and invited other guys to come round and fuck me, with him keeping my hole busy between each of them. I didn't see any of them and he didn't show me their profiles afterward. We only got like 6 guys round in total but it was kinda amazing, getting pimped out by someone I trusted and taking a nice few loads. Hopefully we can do the same thing again soon.
  5. I suggest a thread in which those interested agree to convene in Chicago a yet to be determined date to celebrate the end of the pandemic by helping our grifters charge up. I know my cock and hole arnt the only ones twitching. Indiana here but will travel back to Chitown for party. Willing to organize, open to messages. Praise Asmodeus.
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