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Shouuld I stay out of the game or start putting out...?


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Posted

Hey guys, browsed the forums for a couple weeks and decided to post and join the action here. Let me start off by saying I have been out of the game for a while. I am 33 and poz, have know for a few years and have been trying hard over the past couple years to "play it safe" and do the "right thing" but I find myself always thinking about hot bareback sex and just taking a nice dick. Even when I was out there having a good time, I was always cautious and tried to play safe when I would begin to play with a guy, always trying to convince them and myself that a condom had to be used. Needless to say once a cock was in my mouth or even when I started being fucked with a condom, after a few minutes I would lose myself in the moment and the guy(s) could pretty much have their way with me, including pulling out and going back in raw with little objection. I guess that's what sex does to you.

So it has been a few years and I am undect and have been trying to stay clean and out of the madness of random sex, but I can't help to jagg off thinking of bottoming out and just taking a dick up my ass and in my throat. I cumm hard while talking on the phone with barebackers (tops and btms) and talking about the experience and it feels liberating to talk to others about something that is considered so "taboo."

So, after reading so many posts on here, I have decided to post and talk to many of my own kind and have you guys advise me on what I should do. Should I keep this route and stay out of the game or should I just cave in to the craving and start putting this mouth and hole out on the market and let guys take their turn on it? Sometimes I feel I shouldn't , while other times I think I am already tainted and might as well take more.. Your thoughts?

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Posted

Obviously you're not enjoying sex with a rubber if you think about bareback all the time.

I think that is your answer -- bareback. It's the way that you want to have sex. Why deny

yourself what you want?

Posted
Should I keep this route and stay out of the game or should I just cave in to the craving and start putting this mouth and hole out on the market and let guys take their turn on it? Sometimes I feel I shouldn't...
Why? :confused:
Posted

Sometimes get feelings of guilt.. I dont know, hard to explain.

Its like doing something all over again that got me into trouble to begin with..

But then I think of the experience and think I'm already Poz and just feel maybe I should let go and spread my legs like a good boi again..

Posted
You need to do what makes you happy which is clearly putting out bareback. Enjoy!

...feels good while its happening.. doesnt always feel good afterwards..

Posted

Heres another thing, sometimes I plan thinks out, and decide i am gonna reply to an ad online or maybe call an old bud or two who i know BB and either give/take loads - then at the last moment I end up pussying out..

Maybe I need someone on here to motivate me, encourage me and push me to get back out there and not let me back down! Some form of control over me to make sure i follow through then have me post it back here so everyone knows what I did..Maybe that will get me over the hump ;)

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Posted
Sometimes get feelings of guilt.. I dont know, hard to explain.

Its like doing something all over again that got me into trouble to begin with..

But then I think of the experience and think I'm already Poz and just feel maybe I should let go and spread my legs like a good boi again..

What's done is done. Stop feeling guilty and make the best of your current situation. Sounds like you want to be a slut - so be a slut! You're already paid to ride the ride - go ahead and ride it...

Posted
What's done is done. Stop feeling guilty and make the best of your current situation. Sounds like you want to be a slut - so be a slut! You're already paid to ride the ride - go ahead and ride it...

Thats how i feel sometimes..cant help it for better or worse..

I guess your right..I already paid- need to find a way to just let go and enjoy the ride.

Posted

First: LOVE the socks!

I know how you feel, and spent time dealing with these issues myself. I would ignore the advice of bug chasers, since they really haven't got a clue about what it is like.

Here's what I decided: 1)I try to be upfront and let people know my status. 2)While I like bb, I am not a fetishist like most of the people who use this site, and am just happy to get laid. 3) I've got a thick skin, and am used to the overreactions of uneducated people. 5) If you are in a large metropolitan area there are plenty of other POZ undetectable guys to play with. Really you've got nothing to worry about except maybe other STD/STI which are probably worse to deal with than your HIV 4) You will be surprised by how many neg guys react. If they are not dissuaded by my status I let them decide what they want to do, and depending on how into a guy I am I go along. If I click with a guy and he wants to do me with a condom I'd rather do him than not. Other neg tops will more than happy to seed you.

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