What was your Fuck Flu like?

[Bottomhole]

Night sweats, sore throat and severe fatigue. 

[RandyCubby]

I was sick as a dog. Missed Thursday, Friday of work. Stayed in bed Saturday, Sunday was well. Weird dreams. Looking back, I now know that's what it was.

[snaketat]

I am curious about your THOUGHTS as you started having symptoms.  Was it a near instant understanding that you had converted? Did you not make a strong connection between breeding and the illness until you were well into it.  Was it as emotional as seeing the actual results of the test?

 

No doubt, the concept of chasing and gift giving is both physical and mental.  The results of converting are well documented. The current health choices required after becoming poz are well defined as well.  What I am really interested in is how guys mentally change in this process....from the decision to pursue this taboo, the feeling after taking/giving poz cock, the first feeling when you believe you are converting, the recognition that you have converted and even after a number of years, how you feel about your decisions.  The human mind is a powerful thing....understanding how fetish/taboo subjects are thought about is a real turn on to me.

[yeeahok]

I had the fuckflu but it wasn't too bad - mild fever, aches and pains for 4 or 5 days. But it felt different to any other cold I've ever had. I knew something wasn't right. This was two weeks after I had a week of fucking bb in Gran Canaria. Fingerpick test came back negative for HIV antibodies but blood test results were poz.

Edited November 13, 2015 by yeeahok

[studmufnz]

Interesting to hear that everyone's experiences are so different: I never experienced anything like the "fuck flu."   Those times when I was sick - and I am NEVER sick - it just seemed like a normal flu or cold; something that resolved itself quickly with bedrest, fluids, and simple care.

 

Until last year.  Mid-February of 2014 I came down with what seemed to be just a really bad cold (tired, sniffles, lethargic, reduced appetite) with none of the symptoms of a "flu" (no joint pain, no aches, no chills or high fever, no vomiting, no diarrhea, no sore throat) and certainly no symptoms of the "fuck flu" (no night sweats, no vivid dreams, no severe fatigue, etc).  But I had a rash that covered my torso -- and it was itchy as HELL!  The cold passed quickly and I returned to normal activity levels except for feeling a bit tired and I found I had to pace myself throughout the day.  The tiredness and sniffles seemed to linger much longer than usual and for the rash to abate.

 

I typically monitor myself after every encounter especially after play that was a bit risky: I rarely took loads, but it did happen a few times (mostly unplanned).  My risky play was limited to fisting -- as top and bottom -- without gloves, but only in one-on-one encounters.  Two weeks prior to this cold, I had an intense, extended group session with multiple tops, all glove free, with enhancements (no needles).

 

For me, it was the rash that was so unusual.  As the year progressed I noticed small changes in my body and had that "something is not quite right" feeling.  It took some time before I mustered up the courage to get tested and finally know my status (another story).

 

[snaketat]

Just a few weeks ago I posted asking folks about their thoughts regarding recognizing (or not) that they were experiencing the fuck flu.  Now, I am in a position to answer both the OP and my own question.

 

Woke up this past Sunday (11/29) with serious night sweats.  It was around 2:00 am.  As a eunuch, I know my "internal thermostat" is not always very accurate due to no testosterone.  So, I showered, changed the sheets and went back to bed.  After about 30 minutes, I realized that I really was not feeling good.   Got up and started checking.....high fever (102+), lymph notes in neck were sore to touch and were hard to the touch.   Over the next few hours arm pit lymph nodes started hurting, had some joint ache (no not aching for another joint) and a pretty major headache.

 

It did not take long to realize that I had the fuck flu.  Now keep in mind, I had been riding poz cock for a couple months.  I had recently met a local dude who stealthed me the first time....and then we continued to fuck.  Time from the first fuck with this guy to the symptoms being obvious---14 days.   

 

Another somewhat ironic situation was that I had just taken a home test a few days earlier...and it was neg.  The higher resolution test I had on Monday was quite clear---I am POZ.

 

The symptoms have been hell for 4 days now.  Not the worst flu I have ever had...but certainly a challenge to every day activities. Joints hurt, headache just will not go away.  Temp is down to about 100 now..but not down to normal.  I can easily see why some would never match the symptoms with the disease.  That is even more so if the sick guy was not a dedicated chaser.  In my case, I was very aware of my sexual behavior and it was easy to draw the connection.

 

Doctor indicated that I am still in the process of seroconversion.   The fuck flu is largely due to your body's effort to ward off the invading virus.  As the virus is in the rapid replication stage, your body reacts with full force.   Once, however, your HIV+ plus antibodies get to a certain level, your body quits fighting.  There is a post on my website (www.barebackpledge.com) that talks about the three stages....acute infection...clinical latent..,AIDS.   As I understand it, what we all refer to as fuck flu can only be experienced in the acute infection stage.

 

Now the mental part.  I got pozzed quick....53 days and 29 cocks from the time I rode the first truly chased poz guy.  No doubt, I was not surprised and, as a chaser, knew that I would probably get infected at some point.  Still, there was that moment of "oh shit" when you realize that your actions have a consequence.  Given that I had spent years getting to the place where I was chasing, I was not hit with a wave of fear or anything close to that.  Still, it was a bit of a sobering moment.

 

I still vividly recall the first night sweat I had as I was becoming chemically castrated.  That night sweat was the first physical indication that I was indeed becoming a eunuch.  That was a very similar feeling.  

 

You have that "moment of truth" then you start pulling all the pieces of "why" together.  On the night I first had the fuck flu symptoms, I was at peace with that knowledge with in a couple hours.  

 

Now, with just a few days of actually knowing my status, I continue to be comfortable with what choices I made.  I certainly know there will be more issues going forward.  There will be more decisions as well.

 

But, for me the fuck flu has been a very tangible part of the process.  I don't like feeling like shit, but I would not trade the experience for anything.

[snaketat]

But, for me the fuck flu has been a very tangible part of the process.  I don't like feeling like shit, but I would not trade the experience for anything.

still feeling the effects of my recent pozzing.  symptoms are getting a bit better...but the viral war within me continues. each day the fuck flu symptoms remind me that the hiv+ antibodies continue to multiply and that the virus is changing my body..forever.  as i said before....hate the way it makes me feel physically....but for me, it has been an important part of really embracing betting pozzed.

[bearbare69]

Had a pretty good(or bad) case of fuck flu when i converted.

A bud of mine, a former Marine like me, agreed to gift me. He went off his meds and in about a two month time had a viral load of 85k or more.

Basically after 15-20 fucks over a five/six week period, we had a break in the action.

12 weeks after our first breeding session i woke up one morning, next to him, with a load of his cum in my ass. I had some joint aches, pains, and as one poster mentioned, my groin nodes were on fire. during the next 48 hours, I was the sickest i have ever been, sweats, fever, chills, powerful headache and a 24 hour period of the shits. Fever spiked at an anal temp of 101 F.

Was off work for 10 days, lost 15 pounds. Since this was during the 'flu season', those who knew i was sick assumed it was the regular flu.

Carlos and I knew better, since he had experienced the same thing.

Worst part was staying hydrated, especially during the shits. But worked on it, so that I made sure my piss was clear. But was drinking tons of water, gatorade, etc.

Was part of the rite of passage for me. Felt like hell, but knew it meant I had been pozzed by a great dude with powerful dna.

[topstud127]

Wrong topic I'm sure, but is intentionslly pozzing yourself worth whatever thrill and making sure you can always afford meds and troubles with dating and such...? Now, you can have all the barebuck fun you want on Truvada

Edited December 23, 2015 by topstud127

[snaketat]

Wrong topic I'm sure, but is intentionslly pozzing yourself worth whatever thrill and making sure you can always afford meds and troubles with dating and such...? Now, you can have all the barebuck fun you want on Truvada

topic is a specific question and is getting specific responses.  I am always disappointed to see someone come to a site like this and make judgmental posts in random places.   Many of the guys here face a great deal of judgment in their lives.  This should be one place to share thoughts and ideas with each other....not run into people who wish to feel superior to us.  Equally, you are entitled to your view...just please put it someplace more appropriate.

[topstud127]

topic is a specific question and is getting specific responses.  I am always disappointed to see someone come to a site like this and make judgmental posts in random places.   Many of the guys here face a great deal of judgment in their lives.  This should be one place to share thoughts and ideas with each other....not run into people who wish to feel superior to us.  Equally, you are entitled to your view...just please put it someplace more appropriate.

 

I didn't make the post to judge. What I said is exactly what I meant - outside of barebacking, is the thrill (or whatever else I'm missing), worth the hassle that comes along with being positive? Its just a question. 

Edited January 26, 2016 by topstud127

[LKMike]

A little confused here. I stopped taking PrEP back in October. Have only been bred by guys who are Poz undetectable since, so have felt that i have not been chasing or really taking any great risk.  Had a long week, with long days and only 5ish hours of sleep each night, and didn't eat very well. Wednesday i started feeling cold and shivery, thought i was coming down with a cold, but no runny nose or anything, just painful joints and achy. Thursday i felt exhausted, my clothes hurt touching my skin and it hurt to move, my joints ached so much. i thought i was just exhausted and sick from crap food. i had dinner in the hotel that night and had a very green and bean soup and salad in an effort to eat healthily. i was totally exhausted, slept 10hrs. Had my heating on full as i couldn't get warm, but woke up in soaked bed and PJs. Did feel a little better Friday. Lost my appetite but forced myself to eat some healthy food. Have just felt cold and achy since and totally exhausted. So now Sunday morning, another 10hrs of sleep, back to just feeling achy and no appetite, but my hands have little painful blister like dots all over them. Did i get knocked up ? i will be totally surprised if i did. How long till a test will confirm it or not?

[bttmsubslut]

it happened a long time ago, but i remember having a terrible fuck flu. it had all the normal symptoms of a flu but worse and without throwing up. 

[LKMike]

So i feel almost totally normal now, except a little stiff, like after a work out or running after a long break , and my fingers have lots of little blisters that are slowly drying up. They just feel like slivers to press, not really painful. i can not believe how relaxed i feel about possibly being pozed. i guess i am ready, just totally unexpected right now. Maybe it was just a cold.

[mspButtMunch]

I remember my 'fuck flu'.  At least I think that's what it was.. the timing was perfect in correlation with knowingly taking a toxic load.  I was 'down' for a week with severe fatigue, night sweats, swollen glands etc.  Even went to the Doc the next week and he blamed it on something that was going around. LOL.. didn't find out I was POZ til about 6 months later when I went in for my annual + blood tests...