Ruining a friendship because of sex

[endowed]

Has anyone of you ever lost a friend because you had sex with him? It happened to me. We were best friends for a long time and still very young. Neither one of us knew that the other was gay, but we used to "fake" wrestle and "accidentally" touch each other in in appropriate places. One night he spent the night at my house (as he had done many times before) and we started making playful threats. We were lying on my bed watching TV when he said, "I wonder what a dick in my ass would feel like." I thought he was kidding, so I said, "Don't tease me" which was a line I heard in the movie Top Gun with Tom Cruise.

Then my friend surprised the hell out of me when he rolled onto his side, pulled his underwear down, and aimed his butt at me. I had never seen him naked before. I thought he was kidding, so I didn't do anything for a few seconds. But when I saw that he wasn't kidding, I rolled him over and pushed my dick onto his asshole. Since it was a dry fuck (no lube), only the head went in, but then he quickly pulled away in regret. He pulled up his underwear and left. I saw him the next day and I could tell something had changed. He seemed to be annoyed to be around me. After a few days, he told me that we should not have done that. Our friendship was never the same and he eventually stopped talking to me completely. He ended up with a boyfriend who was a friend of ours, but as far as I was concerned, I didn't exist to him anymore. I cried for days and he knew it but didn't care.

Ever since then, I decided to never have sex with a close friend.

Have you lost a friend because of sex?

[not_sure_bb]

lost a few but all women

[bberik]

I never have sex with friends. We might kiss and flirt for fun, but not sex. Having sex is generally not a good way of making friends either, even though I'm sort of friends with a couple of people I've had sex with.

[bbzh]

Coming at your question from a totally different angle, I have had sex just once or twice with a guy and we became really close friends. Never touched each other sexually afterwards.

[Naturalherb]

Has anyone of you ever lost a friend because you had sex with him? It happened to me. We were best friends for a long time and still very young. Neither one of us knew that the other was gay, but we used to "fake" wrestle and "accidentally" touch each other in in appropriate places. One night he spent the night at my house (as he had done many times before) and we started making playful threats. We were lying on my bed watching TV when he said, "I wonder what a dick in my ass would feel like." I thought he was kidding, so I said, "Don't tease me" which was a line I heard in the movie Top Gun with Tom Cruise.

Then my friend surprised the hell out of me when he rolled onto his side, pulled his underwear down, and aimed his butt at me. I had never seen him naked before. I thought he was kidding, so I didn't do anything for a few seconds. But when I saw that he wasn't kidding, I rolled him over and pushed my dick onto his asshole. Since it was a dry fuck (no lube), only the head went in, but then he quickly pulled away in regret. He pulled up his underwear and left. I saw him the next day and I could tell something had changed. He seemed to be annoyed to be around me. After a few days, he told me that we should not have done that. Our friendship was never the same and he eventually stopped talking to me completely. He ended up with a boyfriend who was a friend of ours, but as far as I was concerned, I didn't exist to him anymore. I cried for days and he knew it but didn't care.

Ever since then, I decided to never have sex with a close friend.

Have you lost a friend because of sex?

Nearly, Ihave a similar story. Had a friend for 15yrs now, me having a crush on him is what started our friendship. Years later, when Itell him I'm gay and like him he decides that he can't have sex with me. This is after years of us also wrestling around and touching each other. Now he's my roomie and has random guys over all the freaking time... and yet I still feel something for him and miss the wrestling. Plus get to watch him fawn all over "dates" that he's known for like 2 days before he suddenly finds someone new... long story short it can really go sour, but Iguess (least I'm hopeful) that it can also be beautiful too. And know that your not alone in this boat

[FatFuckPigMA]

It can work if you actually start by having sex. For example, I've had fuck buddies who have become good friends and sex became something we did together like play cards or go to the movies. But going from no sex to sex can be problematic unless you end up becoming lovers.

[pghpigbtm]

Coming at your question from a totally different angle, I have had sex just once or twice with a guy and we became really close friends. Never touched each other sexually afterwards.

Similar experiences here bbzh - i have several friends - a couple very close - that started as fuckbuds/on-line hookups. In each case, once it became clear that we clicked in significant ways other than just sex, the sex just kind of stopped by mutual unspoken agreement and we pursued the friendship side of things.

[seaguy]

I have never lost a friend because of sex, if anything I have gained a fuck buddy. From what you told us I would say it's your friend who has issues that he needs to deal with but rather than do that he took things out on you. As hard as it might be it may be better that your no longer friends with him. I mean how is it that he had such a problem with what went down that night that he stopped talking to you. Yet he did not have problems when he met his "boyfriend". Seems to me he is holding you to a different standard and blaming you for play hew initiated. Who needs a game player like that let his boyfriend deal with his issues and move on. Don't shed one more tear for the guy. True friends don't pull that kind of shit over sex, true friends become your fuck buddy ;-)

[NLbear]

I can't have sex with friends. It would change the relationship. Once I befriend someone there is no way I can have sex with him. One night stands or anonymous sex works for me., but not with friends. Would love to have a few fuck buddies though, but those are not to be found where I live.

[HolePunchSD]

Similar experiences here bbzh - i have several friends - a couple very close - that started as fuckbuds/on-line hookups. In each case, once it became clear that we clicked in significant ways other than just sex, the sex just kind of stopped by mutual unspoken agreement and we pursued the friendship side of things.

I have quite a few buddies that started out as fuckbuddies; we met as online hookups and learned that we kinda meshed or had some things in common outside of sex. And pghpigbtm is right, the sex stopped by mutual agreement and the friendship flourished.

[bottomcub85]

I've had the opposite problem: once I start becoming friends with someone I fuck around with, I have a hard time taking our relationship back to sex. It's not impossible, but it makes dating a challenge, as the better I get to know a person, the more platonic I begin to feel towards them.

[whiteslutbttm]

A lot of my fuck buddies have became friends (some even close friends, but that is rare).

I don't have any hangups about giving a friend a blowjob (doesn't matter if they were always a friend, or were a fuck buddy who became a friend).

I have (mostly platonic) friends that will ask me for a blowjob if they haven't gotten laid in a while. I don't consider them fuck buddies; they're a friend, and even though it's a sexual favor, it's really not that different than loaning them $50 or driving them to a doctor's appointment or any of the usual stuff friends do to help each other out.

What usually ends up causing problems is when one guy wants to try dating and the other one isn't interested. I've had a few friendships die that way, but that's not because of the sex.

[vrsbbltn]

I've heard some guys saying they have sex with friends and it's great blah blah blah, lies. Sex most probably will ruin a good friendship, it happened to me once, we were ashamed after it happened and eventually stopped talking to each other.

Also, I'd say if you meet someone, be confident on what you want with that guy. Fucking immediately when meeting him, then trying to be friends afterwards is way to awkward, I tried it once, and it didn't work.

[Pig Bottom]

Yes, sex wasn't the only reason, but it was one of them. He was cheating on his boyfriend and getting into drugs with him. We fucked before they got together and so I figured if he was gonna spread the dick around I wanted some too. His boyfriend caught him cheating in the bed with another guy and punched him in the face. He had been physically abused in a past relationship. We hadn't done anything the year his boyfriend and him were together, I then lost respect for his boyfriend and relationship.

Then he got crazy and said he didn't want to see me for a while because I was falling in love with him after 3 times having sex om about a month. :rolleyesmilie: I was insulted and told him he was wrong. Then I stopped by his place to talk to him but he didn't want to. Then I started texting nasty things about all the negative things about him. I know I was wrong, but he shut me out. I think the real reason he pushed me away was that I was worried about his meth use and told him I would be there for him and to let me know who to contact if things go too far and he spins out of control. Someone else who knows him said he has changed his personality recently.

And this former friend shut me out and won't speak to me anymore. I had to contact him because I got an STD (don't know if I got it, or from him fucking druggy dirtbags) that I had to get treatment for. I was kind of cold in the email and he kind of warmed up to me and sent me a hi email later telling me about something else. But then he shut me out again. He really is a cold, heartless bitch. A year and a half friendship meant nothing to him. We both fucked up but he won't even accept an apology or forgive me.

Edited November 2, 2012 by Pig Bottom

[Pig Bottom]

So friends with benefits, which is what it's called can work if both people are adult about it. A fuck buddy sounds hotter, but it's just sex without the friendship. In the end the sex was hot but the friendship means more, but I think it would have ended anyway because he didn't value it.

So it's great to have a friend to have dinner with and watch a movie at home and then fuck, it's just hard to find that perfect situation.