gfboy1988 Posted December 29, 2013 Report Share Posted December 29, 2013 Sorry if this goes somewhere else but, I met up with a hot daddy this afternoon for a flip-flop session off Grindr. No discussion of status or condom use before. I had planned on using a condom, but in the heat of the moment and the fact that he was a bit aggressive, fucked me bareback. I was on my stomach and he fucked me hard from behind, so I really didn't see what was going on and it hurt like heck. He kinda just plowed in and wouldn't slow down even when I said it hurts. Afterward, I looked right at him and asked what his status was. All he did was smile and say, "I'm good." I then asked when he was lasted tested and he said "October." No more elaboration. I asked him what the result of the that test was and again, "I'm good." When I asked if he was HIV neg then, again all he said was "I'm good" with a weird smirk. Then he said he needed to go someplace and I needed to leave. I'm worried now. Why wouldn't he just straight up say if he was HIV neg or not? Wtf does "I'm good" mean. I've read a lot of the stories on this site, and maybe I'm over analyzing, but this fuck session is straight up story material for this site if he is HIV positive.... I'm a little worried. I don't know much about him. I'm on my parent's health insurance and every medical visit bill thing gets sent to them in the mail by the insurance. They would know if I went in for PEP... I'm stressing out here. Anyone have advice for me? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JizzDumpWI Posted December 29, 2013 Report Share Posted December 29, 2013 Would you parents prefer you to be poz? or happier you went on PEP? you have enough reason to go get on PEP... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hungry_hole Posted December 29, 2013 Report Share Posted December 29, 2013 ...Afterward, I looked right at him and asked what his status was. All he did was smile and say, "I'm good." I then asked when he was lasted tested and he said "October." No more elaboration. I asked him what the result of the that test was and again, "I'm good." When I asked if he was HIV neg then, again all he said was "I'm good" with a weird smirk. Then he said he needed to go someplace and I needed to leave. I'm worried now. Why wouldn't he just straight up say if he was HIV neg or not?... The central issue to your dilemma is "Afterward". That discussion should have happened BEFORE you had sex and that way evaluate his answer and make a decision. I'm against placing all the responsibility on the poz guy to reveal his HIV status, and this situation is the perfect example. gjboy1988 had the opportunity to bring up the issue because maybe the other guy is actually poz but he was waiting for gfboy1988 to bring it up. And the fact that gfboy1988 didn't bring it up implied to the other guy that gfboy1988 is already poz or is not concerned with HIV status. Maybe nobody is poz or bfboy1988 won't seroconvert. The only way to know is the HIV test but you'll have to wait about 12 weeks to be completely sure with the results. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gfboy1988 Posted December 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 30, 2013 Would you parents prefer you to be poz? or happier you went on PEP? you have enough reason to go get on PEP... My parent's wouldn't care. Same result either way if they found out I was gay or poz... Bye family. I live in a very conservative area.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gfboy1988 Posted December 30, 2013 Author Report Share Posted December 30, 2013 The central issue to your dilemma is "Afterward". That discussion should have happened BEFORE you had sex and that way evaluate his answer and make a decision. I'm against placing all the responsibility on the poz guy to reveal his HIV status, and this situation is the perfect example. gjboy1988 had the opportunity to bring up the issue because maybe the other guy is actually poz but he was waiting for gfboy1988 to bring it up. And the fact that gfboy1988 didn't bring it up implied to the other guy that gfboy1988 is already poz or is not concerned with HIV status. Maybe nobody is poz or bfboy1988 won't seroconvert. The only way to know is the HIV test but you'll have to wait about 12 weeks to be completely sure with the results. That's very true. I guess I'm probably a little naive, but I feel like if I have something communicable I would need to be upfront about it and give the person a chance to protect themselves from exposure. If he was HIV poz would I still have sex with him? yeah probably, but with a condom.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Belfast-Bottom Posted December 30, 2013 Report Share Posted December 30, 2013 The fact that you talk about your parent's health insurance, suggests that you are in the U.S. I believe that many U.S. cities have FREE sexual health clinics where they would be willing to prescribe you Post Exposure Prophylaxis for FREE. As others have said, if you are concerned about the HIV status of the guys you have sex with, the time to ask them is PRE fuck not POST fuck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seaguy Posted December 30, 2013 Report Share Posted December 30, 2013 Are you parents that nosy that they would read to see what procedures you had? You should ask the insurer how it is listed on the statements often it won't say HIV test but rather lab work. I totally agree with you about the whole I'm good thing. I don't get people who have a hard time stating what thier status is. I try to be an honest person so when someone is being vague or trying to avoid answering it comes across as deceitful and that raises a red flag. If I was poz I would be up front about it. Partly because I would be bareback only with other poz guys but I just feel like when your up front and honest it saves a lot of wasted time and possible bad feelings. I think your worrying a little too much the stories are here should be taken with a grain of salt this is the internet afterall. But lesson learned next time to save yourself the worry ask right away online even and if they are not giving a straight answer move on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sdcigarpig Posted December 30, 2013 Report Share Posted December 30, 2013 Several things after reading the postings: The point on this is, asking before hand and demanding an outright answer, including when the last time a person was tested. You want a yes I am poz, no I am not. If the person does not give you an answer, then you should not be fucking around with them, unless you really do not care. The second point for glboy1988, knowing how your parents are and the area, what would be their reaction if you got say another STD in your rectum? Would they be so understanding or would it be the same reaction as if you had gotten charged up? The bottom line is that you have to take responsibility for your actions and ensure your protection. If you don't want to be HIV poz, or catch anything, then you have to ensure that you are inisisting on all protection, including putting it on the one you are having sex with, and having the correct lube, don't just trust cause the person says one thing or another. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest JizzDumpWI Posted December 30, 2013 Report Share Posted December 30, 2013 adding to sdcigarpig, given your present circumstances, you are not in a position to support yourself. as such, bare really should be something you take off the table. what city are you near? get to a free clinic first thing tomorrow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bearbandit Posted December 30, 2013 Report Share Posted December 30, 2013 I'm against placing all the responsibility on the poz guy to reveal his HIV status, and this situation is the perfect example. I couldn't agree with you more! The responsibility is 50/50, but the knowledge is closer to 90/10 (or greater) in favour of the poz guy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PissPigBrooklyn Posted December 30, 2013 Report Share Posted December 30, 2013 All very fine! Are we here to point fingers at this guy or to try to give him some comfort and advice. I think by now he realizes he made a mistake and is trying to figure out his next steps. If he cannot trust the confidentiality of his doctor (and there are federal laws concerning what a doctor can reveal even to family of an adult,) then he should definitely go to a clinic. It is possible that he would be able to get the PEP and though it is very expensive pay out of pocket. Otherwise just pay the deductible. He could possibly lie to his parents say he ill-advisedly went with a girl who he found out was ill and decided to take precautions. I don't recommend that. I think it is time to become honest with your parents but adress this issue of possible HIV exposure first. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Administrators rawTOP Posted December 30, 2013 Administrators Report Share Posted December 30, 2013 That's very true. I guess I'm probably a little naive, but I feel like if I have something communicable I would need to be upfront about it and give the person a chance to protect themselves from exposure. If he was HIV poz would I still have sex with him? yeah probably, but with a condom.... That's the thing - most poz guys don't have something that's "communicable" - so why should they tell you if you don't ask? I suspect "I'm good" meant "I'm undetectable" and October was the last time his viral load was checked. He probably didn't want to go through HIV 101 with you to explain that the safest person you can have sex with is a poz guy who's on his meds and consistently undetectable. (Actually, the 2nd safest - the safest is a neg guy on PrEP - probably). I also suspect you live in a state which mandates disclosure. Say thank you to your legislators for putting you in a position where the guy felt the need to tell something other than the full truth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seaguy Posted December 30, 2013 Report Share Posted December 30, 2013 Good point Rawtop. HIPAA means your doctor cannot disclose anthing to your parents but being on thier insurance could open you up to them seeing diagnoses procedure names and codes on the statements from the insurance company. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kinkygradstudent Posted December 30, 2013 Report Share Posted December 30, 2013 I don't think I've ever seen a diagnosis code on an insurance statement. And the procedures listed are usually pretty vague. "Lab testing" "Office visit" etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BiAggieGuy Posted December 31, 2013 Report Share Posted December 31, 2013 I don't think I've ever seen a diagnosis code on an insurance statement. And the procedures listed are usually pretty vague. "Lab testing" "Office visit" etc. I wouldn't assume that. Some insurance companies send out very detailed statements of what they paid for and what you still owe. ****** As others have mentioned, there are public health resources available and many will prescribe PEP for free or @ very lost cost. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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