Tell us about the load that changed you

[bbinbpark]

I went to get an HIV test at our student health center and was asked, through laughter, "why I thought I would need that." It was obvious that miss professional didn't feel a fat guy was capable of having a sex life. I ended up having to pitch a holy fit to get tested.

Then reality hit.

"I could be HIV Positive. What the hell am I doing?"

A good friend went through my breakdown with me, and I came out on the other side of it realizing that this is what I was doing, bareback sex, I liked it, there were consequences, and HIV was one of them.

The test was negative. I ended up having to fight just as much for the follow up, also negative.

And, little more than a decade later, I haven't had an HIV test since. And won't. I will die before I go through the humiliation of being told I am "not attractive enough" to have possibly gotten HIV.

Whoever treated you that way at the health center has no business working in healthcare. I'm sorry you've had to go through that, and I'm glad you had a friend that could support you. I consider myself fortunate that my Doctor doesn't seem to be judgemental when I go in to get tested etc.

[atlfukbud]

I've pretty much always barebacked in relationships w/ men and women... but about a decade ago when my hubby and I opened up our relationship we played safe w/ all of our hook-ups. One of our regulars was a sexy black man with just over 10 1/2 thick inches. The first few times we fucked around safely, too...then moved to bareback, but he would always pull out before cumming. After about 6 months of this we had our usual Saturday night popper fueled fuck session and as he was about to pull out, I wrapped my legs around him, looked him in the eyes and begged him to breed me, which he gladly did -- my hubby slid inside and added his load immediately after and we collapsed in bed together in a sweaty, cum soaked 3 way kiss... to my knowledge the 3 of us (separately or together) have never used a rubber since -- and always breed whether its a first fuck or long time pal.

[mike258]

The load that changed me was the first guy I was ever with. I wrote about it here, but I met him on CL. He was in town looking for cock, so I went to his hotel, slid on a condom, and fucked him. I came in the condom and poured it into his mouth. I was about to get dressed and leave but I still wanted more. He moaned and was just like, "my pussy's still hungry, man" and I can't explain what that did to me, but I dropped my boxers and slid my dick inside of him and fucked him hard until I came again. I didn't say anything else to him, I just left. After I got home, my whole body was on fire. I wound up masturbating in my car when I pulled up to my apartment because I was still turned on. I went in, took a shower and went to bed naked. I just felt...satisfied in a way I hadn't felt in a long time. All the stress of the military, breaking up with my GF, acclimating to civilian life was just gone. It's funny because I went into that experience thinking I was just gonna be Big Dick Mikey, dominating and giving a desperate faggot some D and putting another notch on my belt, but I was rocked to my core and he's probably forgotten about me. Funny how life works.

[puffin69]

I was going to a local adult theater regularly to play. I always had rubbers with me, always asked about his status and insisted that a guy use one when fucking me. I was one of "those guys" and missed out on some greuat cocks because of it. One night I was bent over the chair in back getting fucked hard by a horny guy. He had been pumping for a while and thought he was getting close. He suddenly stopped, make that [tisk] sound, and sighed. He pulled out and as a started to get up, he slid his cock back inside and pushed down on my back. As he pumped away, I could definitely feel a difference and yes it felt much better. I reached back to feel his cock to make sure he still had a rubber on his cock but he pushed my hand away. I was really enjoying the fuck and didn't want to stop so I let it slide for a few seconds thinking it might be my imagination. No, it definitely felt different so I reached back again and he pushed my hand away again. Just as I started to get up, he stiffened and let out a grunt. I stood up and he quickly pulled out, zipped up and left. I would always lube my hole before entry but it felt wetter than usual. I was a little confused so I went to the bathroom to wipe. As I sat down, I felt the need to push something out so I did. I looked in horror at the load he deposited inside me. I cleaned up and left feeling terrified. I felt so guilty and stupid for letting it happen. I didn't have sex for six months waiting for the dreaded test that I was sure was going to come back positive. Yeah, I was that paranoid. I was relieved when it was negative. I swore I would never let a guy fuck me again (yeah right). Then I swore I'd always make sure there was a rubber on that cock but I kept thinking of how much better it had felt and when a guy would pull out after cumming, I felt empty and thought about how full I felt. I had tasted the forbidden fruit. I found a guy online who swore he was neg and let him fuck me raw again. I asked about status for a few years and then stopped asking. So whoever you are, thank you for showing me what I had been missing and allowing my inner raw cum slut to come out.

[versamarried]

I had hit up a top on A4A who was available to host in the evening and was local and claimed to be a heavy cummer, but turned out he was only interested in oral and I had been so cock starved that I was cool with it. So I get to his place and we go and sit on his couch. Do the usual get naked and start sucking his average size tool. No size queen but usually when I get the urge to bottom it is because they have a big cock to stuff in me. So not really certain what my mindset was but somehow while sucking him my ass literally starts to get wet on its own. I had never felt that way before but I just got super horny and wet. I kept thinking I would totally prefer getting fucked than just sucking. So I did my usual test that never fails to get me bare cock. I got up and turned around reverse cowgirl(boy?) position and started rubbing his cock on my hole. All the while coyly saying, "Is this okay? Does it bother you?" Without fail he just moans and after a while I ask if he wants to fuck me, he says sure. I get on all fours and he enters me. The fucking is pretty average but he is a dirty talker which I love. Finally he moans and tells me he is going to fill me up. BOY DID HE! Lots of guys claim to be heavy cummers, even I consider myself a heavy cummer but this guy was in a whole other level. After he pulled out I can say that a new feeling waved through me. Something that I never felt before and still cannot give a name. All I know was my ass felt perfect. Like all that cum was meant to be there. I jerked off that night next to my wife with his load still leaking out of me and to this day I remember how perfect it felt having all of him left inside me.

[HotAssinPA]

The first time I got fucked, it was with a much older guy who raped me. And he fucked me bareback. And when he shot his first of several loads that night, I didn't even think about whether he was neg or pos. And it was not like I had any choice in the matter. I'm 5'11" and at that time I was 130 lbs. He was 6'3" and probably 250 lbs of solid muscle. He was in complete control. He did with me as he pleased. And you know what? Looking at his muscular body and the feeling of his cock inside me just turned me on so much! Yes, he raped me, but I loved it!

The first time I got fucked with a condom, I hated it! And even though that guy was muscular, and had a big cock, which turned me on, I wanted him to fuck me raw! And I told him that. And he pulled out to take his condom off, but it was almost in shreds already. So even if he had shot his load, the condom could no longer hold it anyway. So he took off what was left of his condom and fucked me raw! That's when I realized that I just did not like getting fucked with condoms. And every guy I've been with since then fucked me bareback. If a guy wont bareback me, then I'm not interested!

And after all this time I'm still std free, and hiv-.

[Guest]

For me, I would have to say it was the very first one.  I was very young though and didn't really understand everything that was going on.  I clearly remember feeling him shoot his load and feeling like this was what I was born to be.  Something to be used by older dominant men.  

[hornybrownbottom]

The load that changed me was when I was raped by this Native American guy who was lying to me about who he was and what he did. Literally everything about him was a lie. I was over his place after talking to him on A4A and he had friends there who just laughed as he spoke, I was too naive. he got me high and drunk and then when I was out of it, he announced to the lot that I was ready for him and he was going to get the first go. He fucked the daylights out of my still somewhat there self. His friends took turns after that and once they were done he went again. 

[gwmxyz]

I guess it has to be the first time I got fucked raw. Twelve years on he's still my bf - and to this day he doesn't believe it.  He thinks I'm just saying that - I was such a slut, that can't possibly be true.  So I guess there's no point trying to explain why I take that as a compliment too...

[downtownswallow]

My first gay sex was safe...so we’re about the next 10-15...with a very good friend. One night we were in a room at a bathhouse. We were ready to fuck. He was behind me slapping his cock on my hole. He was about to slip on a condom when he told me he’d like to be in me “natural”.  I thought about it and told him ok. I was very tense and he had a big fat cockhead. It took him a while but he finally slipped in. It felt ....different....but soon it began to feel very good. 

He was courteous enough to announce he was about to shoot and asked if I wanted his load in me. I said yes. He came very hard!  I later learned that he’d been taking some pills to make him shoot more cum. They worked!

After that, I wanted bareback on a more frequent basis.