How to stop being afraid of meeting up

[frank86]

Hi there guys,

first off I hope my following posting is not so hard to read, as I am not a native english-language speaker/writer

Well my problem is, I am often browsing certain pages and often get hit up by guys, we chat back and forth exchange pics and then they suggest to meet, I get horny and everything and agree... I prepare (bottom) and everything but for a while now, like the last few months - on the way to these guys I chicken out. I know its not cool... really I really wish I didnt behave like this. I have missed a lot of opportunities because of this, which I wish I hadnt.

Its not like I dont want it but you see I have met some people who seemed nice and all but then turned out to be f**king crazy. One guy I met had laid his entire "playing area" out with some plastic foil and was all about tying me up and this, I got out of this by telling him I forgot something in the car.. but honestly I had a feeling this guy was going to slaughter me or something, pics he showed me must of been 10 years younger by the looks.

Another guy I once met was nice until he stuck his cock in me and then this dude got rougher and rougher to the point that he was wrapping his arms around my neck and half choking me. It was arousing but not what I had asked him for or anything I had agreed to.

I dont have a very big build, am only 1,60 m tall and not very heavy so I tend to lack the physical power to fight back if things get ugly. I have some equipment for self defence, but I cant go around to dates packing a gun can I?

I cant host these guys because I live together with my boyfriend. I dont have so much money so that I can rent a hotel room for a few hours. I dont know how to lose my fear again of meeting strangers.

All I want is to spend some time getting plowed by them and having a good time, but my head always messes with me.

Hope somebody out there knows what im trying to say?

[Bttm2go]

You can try meeting in a neutral place and see how the guy is. If you get bad vibes, then call it off. It's not a perfect solution though. It also requires more time. For me the best option is the bathhouse or sex club. At least you have other guys around if you need help. You can have sex in the public areas until you are comfortable going to a room.

[Dorset_Rob]

Frank86,

I went through the same thing. Eventually I just refused to back out of a meet, he was a great guy who put me at ease and ended up breaking me in. I do not regret it, he was also the first to breed me.

[RWHID]

I was like that for years. I would meet guys online and chat about meeting, then I would get scared and back out. I had anxiety disorder, and I started getting treatment to cope with it. Finally in 2012 I gave it a shot. One of the guys who had talked to me before had added me on Facebook, not knowing it was me until I told him... we set up the hookup for the next day... he came over... I was still nervous as hell, but had some drinks before hand to loosen me up... I sucked, he fucked, he shot and next thing I know that bitch has me sucking his toes. He wanted to come back about a week later and he was pissed when he learned I had just had another guy over to blow... I'm thinking we are not together... why does it matter. He was like, "I'll come over but we aren't doing anything!" and went on about sloppy seconds. Within 5 minutes of him showing up his dick was already out for me to take care of. That was the last time I was with him though, and kinda glad. He was kinda clingy and bossy. We stayed friends though until I became poz and he went off on me and blocked me.

To this day I still get nervous at times, but mostly I just go for it. If I have them over to my place I don't get nervous at all. I seem to get nervous only when I go out to a public place to meet them, thinking it's going to turn out to be a joke or something worse... but that hasn't happened yet.

[wood]

first off I hope my following posting is not so hard to read, as I am not a native english-language speaker/writer

I dont know how to lose my fear again of meeting strangers.

All I want is to spend some time getting plowed by them and having a good time, but my head always messes with me.

Hope somebody out there knows what im trying to say?

You english at least in typing is better than many native speakers I know, so no need to be nervous.

As far as being nervous its natural for some guys. Honestly I dont really fuck with randoms the first time. I have, but I usually meet up with them first in public then meet again, if a guy doesnt like it fuck him, there are other guys. Maybe the completely random thing isnt for you, and thats okay, Its not for me, and I learned that over time.

[AlwaysOpen]

Listen to your gut man-- if you are backing out there must be a reason, and it might not be on your side. I hooked up with a guy from a park years ago, took him home and part way thru sex he began punching and trying to gouge my eyes- I was VERY fortunate and was able to kick out from under him and roll out and ran to my van- locking myself in and blowing the horn until a neighbor came out- yelled for him to call the cops, at which point the guy comes wandering out from my apartment and wants a ride back to his car !!! I thought the guy was sketchy when I was cruising him, but my cock hungry head quieted the inner voice and kept chasing him. I wish I could say I learned to listen to my gut better- but I still have kissed a few odd toads along the path since-

But as others have said- start meeting some place public to start. If you keep making dates and then no showing, you are so very wrong. And if you are doing this without your boyfriend knowing, you need to discuss your needs with him- anything you contract playing out will end up in the bed you 2 share, and thats NOT the time to talk about your need to trick around

[nekofox]

That's really the only thing that can be done to be more at ease, is to meet up in some place that's at least public. Before even thinking about getting started, try to get to know them a little to get a feeling if they're good or they're all around bad.

If at all, any time you feel unease about it, just back out and walk away, that definitely means they're not right for you at all.

[Guest ff-whole]

I would opt for the gay sauna / bath house... it took all my inhibitions away.

Now i don't seek a private cabin anymore because I get so slutty and love a lot of active or inactive watchers around me getting arroused by me getting fucked silly.

Makes me feel like a real whore.