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Vers Inadvertently Becoming A Total Top


topstud127

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I like to think of myself as being fully versatile, no major preference either way, I do both well... Going through phases where I prefer one over the other isn't abnormal, but for the last 3+ months, I just wanna top.

 

Bottoming barely excites me, I'll do it here and there just to be fair, it may feel good but mentally I'm not connected and I'm just thinking about fucking them.

 

Can anyone relate or how to get back into the bottoming headspace?

 

 

Last year I finally got to the point of being able to consistently cum when topping and its made it so much better for me (read some stuff on tantric breathing, focusing, and relaxing). I used to be more thorough with my 'probing' since getting myself to cum wasn't necessarily the goal, but now I'm more present, I'm not taking too long or wearing myself and the bottom out while pressuring myself to 'cum soon, cum soon.' It was very hit and miss before and I could only cum in one position.

 

When I'm bottoming, theres no chance in hell of me cumming. No matter how much I jerk it or how good it feels, I just can't shoot. The last time it happened was in July. I'm sure that's part of why I don't wanna bother when I can get off much easier topping. Any tips would be greatly appreciated.

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I like to think of myself as being fully versatile, no major preference either way, I do both well... Going through phases where I prefer one over the other isn't abnormal, but for the last 3+ months, I just wanna top.

 

Bottoming barely excites me,...Can anyone relate or how to get back into the bottoming headspace?

 

If you are enjoying being a top and bottoming "barely excites you", why don't you you just keep toping?

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Last year I finally got to the point of being able to consistently cum when topping and its made it so much better for me (read some stuff on tantric breathing, focusing, and relaxing). I used to be more thorough with my 'probing' since getting myself to cum wasn't necessarily the goal, but now I'm more present, I'm not taking too long or wearing myself and the bottom out while pressuring myself to 'cum soon, cum soon.' It was very hit and miss before and I could only cum in one position.

I'd be really interested to hear more about how you "trained" yourself to be more present & cum more reliably -- maybe in a new thread. This is sometimes a problem for me.

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My boyfriend is also vers and is starting to gripe about me never bottoming anymore.

That's a completely different issue. You need to keep your partner happy.

 

Does he need to top you to be happy? Maybe the two of you could hunt for some bottoms together. 

If he wants to top YOU and you don't find it painful or unpleasant, then you probably need to let him have your ass some of the time. 

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That's a completely different issue. You need to keep your partner happy.

Does he need to top you to be happy? Maybe the two of you could hunt for some bottoms together.

If he wants to top YOU and you don't find it painful or unpleasant, then you probably need to let him have your ass some of the time.

I bottom every couple weeks just so he gets what he needs but I'm not really enjoying it the way I used to.

I'm more of the 'guys on the side' one between the two of us. He'll occasionally see someone if I am, but he's said he'd rather top me than have to go see someone else. I can fuck anyone I decently like and am attracted to and be fine, he's more emotionally involved.

We haven't had a threesome in awhile but the highlight of those is usually endless flip fucking is he seeing someone else fuck me.

I'd be really interested to hear more about how you "trained" yourself to be more present & cum more reliably -- maybe in a new thread. This is sometimes a problem for me.

Sure... I have some books saved on my computer. I'll create a thread or send you links.

Edited by topstud127
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  • 3 weeks later...

I'd also be really interested to hear more about how you "trained" yourself. Could you please share at least the names of the books

 

It's a few books on tantric. I haven't fully read any of them, but the chapters on breathing helped me out.

Complete Idiots Guide to Tantric Sex was my main one

I also have "Tantric Sex: The Fast Track to Sexual Bliss" and 

"Tantric Sex For Men: Making Love a Meditation"

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