Rant Warning: Frustrated With Inconsiderate Tops!

[KindaBasic]

I know he type to well. Out in Long Island you get married tops who just don't get that it takes time to get ready. And if they aren't expecting you to be prepped and ready at a moment's notice they keep you on hold.

[RideMyBlkDik]

What is it with tops who message you out of the blue and expect you to run over and take care of them immediately? Do they not understand that it takes some preparation in order to be fucked? We bottoms can't just pull down our pants and be ready at the drop of a hat...at least, it won't be very pleasant if we do.

 

In part because I have learned so much from bottoms on this site, clearly tops like myself have totally different mindsets from guys who bottom regularly.  It might even be futile to try to decipher the sequencing of a top's thought patterns when his pulsating cock takes precedence over any rational thinking about "time it takes for the bottom to prepare".  LOL.  A horny top is being ruled by his stiff cock. Good luck trying to make sense of the inconsiderate top who is yearning for a hole for his manhood. Your time must now align with his time. Must. In a similar fashion many heterosexual men know that they will never fully understand how women think or just how women give meaning to everyday occurrences in life. Let's learn to accept each other. Try working through each other's quirks. That kind of awareness can put the fun back in the fuck session. And fun is what it's all about.

Edited April 12, 2016 by RideMyBlkDik

[PhoenixGeoff]

My rules of sexual etiquette for hooking up

 

1) Take rejection with good grace.  If a guy is not into you, no matter how perfect he is for you, it ain't gonna happen.  My practice is to block men who turn me down due to lack of interest on their part.  It keeps me from bothering them in the future.

 

2) If a man shows interest but demurs due to commitments or not being prepared or whatever, take it at face value and with good grace.  Always assume honesty.

 

Corollary to one and two:  When declining, always respond and always be honest about why you are declining.  If you're not attracted, say so (nicely).  Don't just ignore a message, and don't string him along. 

 

3) Be honest in your responses.  Keep your profiles up to date, with reasonably recent pictures.  Especially do not lie about drug usage or HIV status (leaving those blank in a profile is OK, but if asked about them, respond honestly)  Be up front about condom usage, PrEP and barebacking.

 

4) Have profile pictures.  At a minimum, show your face and body.  They can be private if you like, but have them to share.

 

5) Do not post a quick hook up ad unless you are ready to go right now.

 

6) Once you lock in a hookup (i.e. there have been an address and phone numbers exchanged) then no more cruising.  Even while you're waiting for him to arrive.  Take down any hookup ads and log out of hookup sites.  If you're traveling, don't dilly-dally around, but get what you need and get on the road.  From the moment you commit to a hookup to when you have sex, your focus should be on that one scene, not finding others. 

 

6a) If you've been working a few guys in parallel and two or more pan out at the same time, let them know what has happened and offer to get together later.  I guarantee you, if he is a real pig, he's going to understand.  I always appreciate it when guys are up front with me instead of simply disappearing when things seemed to be going well.

 

7) Be understanding when scenes don't play out exactly as you had envisioned them.  Sometimes this is a good thing!  Go with the flow.

 

7a) If you are a top, understand that sometimes, shit happens, despite the bottom's best efforts.  Be understanding. and be as open as you can to continuing the scene in other ways.

 

7b) If you are a bottom, understand that sometimes, no matter how hot things are, the top simply won't be able to get it up, or cum, or whatever.  Be understanding, and be as open as you can to continuing the scene in other ways.  Hint:  pressuring a guy to get hard is a surefire way to keep it from ever happening.

 

8) In a three-way or group, try to pay attention to everyone involved over the course of the scene. 

 

9) You are not the focus of everyone's attention in a group scene (unless the group has explicitly been set up for that purpose).  Don't hog the sling.

 

10) Cultivate versatility.  Especially if you're a bottom.  You'll see a hell of a lot more action if you're willing to top now and then.

 

11) In a public sex scene, feel free to approach and offer to join in, but remember, no means no.

 

12) When posting an ad, offer broad guidelines for what you're looking for (age ranges, body types, demeanor).  Be descriptive about your own appearance and interests (Hint:  calling yourself "hot" or "good looking" is totally meaningless; you and I probably have very different ideas of what we find attractive)

 

Corollary:  When responding to an ad, read it first.  If you don't fall into the guidelines offered (e.g. he says he likes men 30-50 and you're 21, or he's looking to get fucked and you're a bottom) then don't respond.  And don't get offended by someone's preferences.  Even if they're racial.  Gay guys are in no position to bitch out someone for whom he is attracted to.

 

13) No hard drugs unless it's really that kind of party.  If in doubt, ask.  Ask before using poppers, 420, drinking, smoking, etc.  Some guys are allergic; many rentals ban indoor smoking.  And don't overdo it.  Guys who are sloppy drunk can't get it up and give shit blowjobs.

 

Bottom line:  we're all here looking for fun.  Be respectful, be considerate, and be attentive to your partner(s) desires.

 

Any others?

[constructionguy]

As a barebacking TOP, I insist on a bottom being properly and completely cleaned out. This is not negotiable.

Therefore, I never insist on a bottom being ready on the spur of the moment. He needs time to be properly ready for my cock

and my seed. 

[Theo8]

I have a similar situation like that with a top buddy of mine. The thing is, he's a really good top and when you can plan a time with him that works for both of you then it works out great. He's got a great dick and can fuck me for a good long time. Here's the problem:

He will message me early afternoon and say something like "you available to meet at 5:30?" I might say something back like "oh, 5:30 is a little too early, I won't be out of work yet, I get out at 6. Can you do 6:30?"

His answer is ALWAYS, "nope can only do 5:30." He is completely inflexible on time. If the time I can meet isn't EXACTLY what time he is looking for, then it's always a no-go. It's starting to get annoying. I've never had a fuck buddy that's gotta be so precise on the time that works for him.

Anyone else ever have that problem with a fuck bud?

 

 

he's probably married or has a partner who doesn't know he's screwing around; if he gets home too late, he'll get too many questions

[Bttm2go]

I have a similar situation like that with a top buddy of mine. The thing is, he's a really good top and when you can plan a time with him that works for both of you then it works out great. He's got a great dick and can fuck me for a good long time. Here's the problem:

He will message me early afternoon and say something like "you available to meet at 5:30?" I might say something back like "oh, 5:30 is a little too early, I won't be out of work yet, I get out at 6. Can you do 6:30?"

His answer is ALWAYS, "nope can only do 5:30." He is completely inflexible on time. If the time I can meet isn't EXACTLY what time he is looking for, then it's always a no-go. It's starting to get annoying. I've never had a fuck buddy that's gotta be so precise on the time that works for him.

Anyone else ever have that problem with a fuck bud?

He's cheating on his boy/girlfriend. I had a guy like that too.