Finally took my first load! Looking for more! Help!

[Bostongurl]

So even though I have been on prep for a while I was afraid to go raw. I kept looking for a guy that would be willing to go get tested together. After months of looking I gave up Then one night i had this guy over for a Craigslist hookup and every time I hot him hard with my mouth and bent over and spread my pussy for him he would start going soft almost immediately. After around four of these episodes he finally says "it's the condom I'm sorry i can't stay hard with these things" He immediately began getting dressed and I was overwhelmed with disappointment. I had been looking forward to taking dick that entire day. Without even thinking about it I blurted out are you safe? We had a brief conversation where he assured me he was clean and I then agreed to let him fuck me raw. I swear this guy blushed a bit and offered to pull out and feed me the load instead of dumping in me. I told him hell no if I was going to fuck raw I wanted to finally know what cum felt like. So we went ahead with it and although it wasn't exactly what I had hoped it did feel great. Taking dick raw is definitely far superior to using condoms. If you have yet to try. It I recommend you go ahead with it asap. As he began to grunt heavily and pound into me harder and deeper than he had been I figured he was about to bust so I did my best to grind backwards into his thrusts and keep his cock buried as far deep into my pussy as I could. When he moaned out one last long deep grunt and ground his cock all the way into me I pushed back all the way and grabbed backwards around his thighs pulling him close and holding him there. Happily as I was doing that he pulled my thighs close as well. I actually felt his cock pulsate in me. Like just for a second his cock swelled. I was hoping I would be able to feel his hot load pumping deep into me and assumed I would have felt my insides warm up a bit as he filled me but no such luck I didn't feel it pump into me at all. So almost as soon as it was over he was dressed and out the door. I love when guys depart quickly without any prompts. So as I sat down on the couch I suddenly realized what I had just done and the realization I had let a strange man come over and pimp a load into me gave me a big smile. Feeling like a used tissue always makes me smile. I immediately got back on Craigslist and grinder trying to find another hookup nut didn't have any luck. As I sat there though I could feel the load slowly begin to drop out of me and every single drop gave me another smile and left me more satisfied with what I had done. Now here is the part that I loved best. I farted and I swear they were definitely cum farts. I felt like I was blowing bubbles of cum out of me. I have been looking to do this again since and can't seem to find anyone serious. Any chance you guys can suggest other places for me to look.? I'm willing to try anything and if need be I'll dress like a boy.