Gay guys more picky?

[dude8688]

I'm a bisexual 30 year old and like to class myself as 'average' everything: face, body, cock size. What I find is looking for hookups is incredibly frustrating, as soon as most guys see my face/body picture it's a block on grindr or whatever site/app. Also it seems most guys on these sites are all old enough to be my dad, which is a turn off for me. I get that we all have the right to choose who we stick our dicks inside or who sticks theirs into us, but I just feel that unless you're a young tanned twink, it'll never happen.

I've never been to a sauna but most people tell me they too are populated by daddies and I reckon I'd spend the whole time being passed up anyway. Anyone else feel the frustration? Just seems gays are rather superficial when it comes to looks. It's just a sex hookup after all.

[chasejake666]

To tell you the truth, I can be kinda picky when i'm looking at profile pics or age, but when i'm in a room full of guys all fucking, i totally lose my standards. theres a kind of attraction between a group of guys all doing something taboo, you forget about physical appearance, and suddenly everyone is just as attractive for what they're doing with each other - i guess its like a kind of kinship in a way. i'd go for group hookups if you kind find one-ones

for one-one hookups, you just need to build up a thick skin. i've dealt with flaky guys or guys who aren't interested and its just normal. sometimes there's a time when i can't actually hook up and makes me look flakey. it just a game of playing for time - you'll get somebody good eventually.

[claireannet]

I am also picky.....I pick that one and that one and that one.   Then I pick that one and that one and that one.  

Actually I have really worked to promote the idea that it is just sex......don't be so picky and enjoy more of that skin on skin sex we all seem to enjoy.   

At one time I traveled  great deal (internationally) for my work.  I was very picky about food at that time of my life.   I soon learned that I needed to be more open to new foods or I would go hungry.   I ended up learning to love so many different cuisines/styles that it really added to my life.

I would encourage you all to be less picky and just enjoy the sex.  You may just learn that the picky methods of selecting partners really prevented you from experience sex in ways and with men that are even more exciting.

 

[GloriHoleLover]

29 minutes ago, dude8688 said:

I'm a bisexual 30 year old and like to class myself as 'average' everything: face, body, cock size. What I find is looking for hookups is incredibly frustrating, as soon as most guys see my face/body picture it's a block on grindr or whatever site/app. Also it seems most guys on these sites are all old enough to be my dad, which is a turn off for me. I get that we all have the right to choose who we stick our dicks inside or who sticks theirs into us, but I just feel that unless you're a young tanned twink, it'll never happen.

I've never been to a sauna but most people tell me they too are populated by daddies and I reckon I'd spend the whole time being passed up anyway. Anyone else feel the frustration? Just seems gays are rather superficial when it comes to looks. It's just a sex hookup after all.

I've observed the same thing, Dude, although I have no idea what the solution to your dilemma might be. I think that our gay porn culture, which presents an endless stream of beautiful, perfectly built men, be they muscular studs or sweet twinks. Delicious for our fantasies, but rather far divorced from the realities of the world most of us live in! I even see this "fantasy man" trend in erotic literature where, even extending to a cock-hungry man visiting an ABS for the first time and, peering through the gloryhole, who does he see in the dim light of his neighbor's video? Of course...the tanned, well-hung, completely shaven, flawless twink in his early twenties with the six-pack abs! After personally servicing men at gloryholes for over 40 years, well, trust me...those twink stories are just NOT reality! (Besides the fact that you can't see much of anything through the average size gloryhole, searching for a particular body type is NOT why one serves at a gloryhole, anyway!) Seems to me, being extremely choosy will most often leave one very lonely...and extremely empty! 

Unfortunately, as I said, I don't have a solution for you. But, perhaps our friends here in the BZ community do! I truly hope so.

(Fortunate for me, I've always been hugely attracted to much older men, especially the average-looking daddies, so I've never lacked for a steady supply of lovers. And, when I comes to my love of cock, I've NEVER been picky!) 

Glori. ?

[bbzh]

It's a wonder gay men have any sex at all, especially if the hook-up originates online. 

First, the pics have to be acceptable. (Show me face with no sunglasses, body, dick, ass, left thigh, right thigh. I once had a guy say we have to do live cam before we meet. That's actually NOT a bad idea.)

Second, the guy has to be sexually compatible with you. (I'm always puzzled when I as a versatile bottom get hit up by bottoms. Are the pickings that slim out here??? To me versatile bottom means I fuck only on the third Tuesday of every odd month from 5:02 to 6:13 pm or if I see somebody in person and they push all the right buttons.)

Third, the guy must say the right things, or at least not say the wrong things. (I had a guy block me recently because I wouldn't accept to be injected with saline. Bitch, I barely let NURSES stick needles in me.)

Fourth, the guy has to be willing to travel to you or you to him. (Who has found the perfect guy before but can't negotiate this?)

Fifth, both actually have to be free and horny at the same time. (You'd be surprised at the number of people who will get you worked up only to say, can we meet day after tomorrow? NOPE, this coochie coupon expires in 15 minutes.)

If you don't want to do the online mating dance, I guess the other options are: go to a bar with a darkroom, go to a sauna, go to a park/rest stop/cruising area, go to a sex cinema, go to a sex party, find a few regular fuck buds or find an escort. Traveling helps considerably because fresh meat is always welcome.

So there you have it. We are spoiled with choice. We play too many games. Our standards are ridiculously high. We want it our way or it's the highway.  If you want to get off, you better get offline. 

I ain't never lied and my invoice is in the mail. Thank you and have a good evening.

[GloriHoleLover]

24 minutes ago, claireannet said:

I am also picky.....I pick that one and that one and that one.   Then I pick that one and that one and that one.  

Actually I have really worked to promote the idea that it is just sex......don't be so picky and enjoy more of that skin on skin sex we all seem to enjoy.   

At one time I traveled  great deal (internationally) for my work.  I was very picky about food at that time of my life.   I soon learned that I needed to be more open to new foods or I would go hungry.   I ended up learning to love so many different cuisines/styles that it really added to my life.

I would encourage you all to be less picky and just enjoy the sex.  You may just learn that the picky methods of selecting partners really prevented you from experience sex in ways and with men that are even more exciting.

 

I love you, claireannet! ? What an excellent attitude!

And, you've opened my eyes! I suddenly realize that I'm pretty "picky," too...I simply pick the cock nearest to me! Then, I work my way back through the crowd! Pure genius! ?

[Guest Upstateguy518]

Guys can normally be very picky when doing one on one fun but have a lot lower standards for group sex. It is what it is. I've dealt with a lot of flakes and fakes but ended up have a lot of fun with guys who actually had the balls to show.

[NLbear]

I hear you. This may not help much in your daily life but try going to a bathhouse when you're on vacation. Locals love a foreigner. I was in a sauna in Rome and once they found out I was not Italian everyone was all over me and I had my pick of men. They all wanted to fuck to 'Dutch guy'. And I certainly don't look like a model.

[barecubtop]

On 8/5/2017 at 9:07 AM, GloriHoleLover said:

I think that our gay porn culture, which presents an endless stream of beautiful, perfectly built men, be they muscular studs or sweet twinks. Delicious for our fantasies, but rather far divorced from the realities of the world most of us live in! I even see this "fantasy man" trend in erotic literature where, even extending to a cock-hungry man visiting an ABS for the first time and, peering through the gloryhole, who does he see in the dim light of his neighbor's video? Of course...the tanned, well-hung, completely shaven, flawless twink in his early twenties with the six-pack abs! After personally servicing men at gloryholes for over 40 years, well, trust me...those twink stories are just NOT reality! (

(Fortunate for me, I've always been hugely attracted to much older men, especially the average-looking daddies,

I agree, the porn out there certainly distorts reality.  I do like daddy/boy scenes, but I'd rather find some grainy amateur footage of "real" older guys and younger guys than some of the professional porn.  I also like to suck off the dad-bod bi/married types, so it's usually not hard to find those.

 

On 8/5/2017 at 8:39 AM, chasejake666 said:

To tell you the truth, I can be kinda picky when i'm looking at profile pics or age, but when i'm in a room full of guys all fucking, i totally lose my standards. theres a kind of attraction between a group of guys all doing something taboo, you forget about physical appearance, and suddenly everyone is just as attractive for what they're doing with each other - i guess its like a kind of kinship in a way.

I agree with this also...in a group it's more about what's going on that what the guys look like.  I hosted a 4-way last week, and the only person I would've chosen to hookup with 1on1 was the twink bottom we were tag teaming...but in the group situation, both of the other tops were "hot" because of what we were doing to the bottom.

On 8/5/2017 at 9:15 AM, bbzh said:

If you don't want to do the online mating dance, I guess the other options are: go to a bar with a darkroom, go to a sauna, go to a park/rest stop/cruising area, go to a sex cinema, go to a sex party, find a few regular fuck buds or find an escort. Traveling helps considerably because fresh meat is always welcome.

So there you have it. We are spoiled with choice. We play too many games. Our standards are ridiculously high. We want it our way or it's the highway.  If you want to get off, you better get offline.

This is good advice also.  I live in a rural area, so anytime I message someone attractive on Grindr I get shot down immediately because I'm just "average". But, if I travel an hour to a nearby large city where my profile is "fresh meat" I get more attention, and when I go to the bathhouse there I get almost all the sex I want. 

 

All of that being said...I am guilty of being picky myself.  I was just thinking of how I haven't found anything today...when in reality, I've had offers, but I've turned them down for one reason or another.  I suppose we all know that we could lower our standards and have good sex...but we want to keep our high standards to have really GREAT sex.  I suppose it also comes down to compulsion and "need" too...if we just "need" to get off or compulsively want to have sex, it might be easier to drop the standards a little to get it.  On the other hand, if you're the type that isn't a horny pig and doesn't feel compelled to seek out sex everytime you're horny (ie. your hand will work fine for you), then maybe you'd be less likely to lower your standards so that when you allow yourself to have sex, it's with someone you really want to be with.  *shrug* 

[theplayerking]

Everyone is picky to a certain degree, which can make one-on-ones tricky if you're not young or really ripped. That's why I prefer groups and sex clubs. 

[barecubtop]

So as a follow-up to my post above...I had mentioned that I had some offers but passed on them.  So, I went back and followed up on one of them.  The guy came over and I fucked him.  In terms of strictly sex, it was good - he gave good head, he had a nice clean hole to eat, and he took a good pounding.  But, he was also precisely what I thought he would be...a 40 year old queen.  I mean, I like my bottoms to moan and let me know they're enjoying it, but this guy was like the soundtrack to an 80's straight porn where he was the woman.  That was something of a turn off. 

So, yeah...guys being picky sucks when you're on the wrong end of the stick, but you can be just as picky yourself, so keep that in mind.  I think it's a good idea to say outright whether we are into someone or not, as opposed to just not replying at all when someone expresses interest.  I'm just as guilty of doing that also, but it's something I'm going to try to be better about.  I love it when I've messaged a guy a few times who's profile sounds great - nice stats, nice pic, and they seem to be into the right things like bottoming and being on PrEP - only to eventually get a rude reply of "stop messaging me you fucking fat slob".  Why not just respond the first time that you're not interested?  The only reason I keep messaging in situations like those is that it has worked out more often than not that if I do message someone a few times they will eventually respond and WILL hook up.  So no, I'm not always going to "take the hint" when they don't respond. Take two seconds to tell me no upfront.

[Guest Gloryholelover]

I'm 24 really short and slim, I guess you could describe me as a twink. I'm not hung up on my looks at all, I've been told I'm good looking but my appearance isn't something I'm fixated on. For me personally I like all different kinds of men. All different races, sizes, appearances, I am a big believer that everyone is "hot" in their own way. I get that there are people your attracted to instantly from a visual stand point, but I love men in general. 

 

[MuscledHorse]

1 hour ago, Gloryholelover said:

I'm 24 really short and slim, I guess you could describe me as a twink. I'm not hung up on my looks at all, I've been told I'm good looking but my appearance isn't something I'm fixated on. For me personally I like all different kinds of men. All different races, sizes, appearances, I am a big believer that everyone is "hot" in their own way. I get that there are people your attracted to instantly from a visual stand point, but I love men in general. 

 

Beautifully stated! That was a huge take away from my escorting experiences for four years. I learned to connect with guys on a level other than my type/not my type. Yes, we all have our preferences and yes I see guys that I kind of cringe at looks-wise, but in a dark room they are just another body with a hard cock, which is all that really matters when you're just out to hook up. Dating base don looks is even worse because a guy can look good and be a total asshole (even I (a competitive body builder) encounter what I call the muscle fags because I'm not under 30 or am too bulky or not bulky enough--sheesh Don't those idiots know in a few years they will be old by their own standards?). As for the OP about apps like grindr: getting follow through on hookups is a significantly lower percentage of total contacts with guys on any app. The numerical post above about all the things that have to happen are all factors, plus you have flakes that chicken out or never really intended to meet in the first place, as well and catfish (i.e. pic shoppers). For me the apps are a substitute for the sex clubs/resorts and bathhouses I revel in when I'm back home in Florida or down in nearby Atlanta.  

[MDK]

If fags are picky than I don't know what women are. I've had it ten times easier with men than women, at times I've even had a number of partners in a 24 hours period, while with women the chances of hooking up (for me at least) are at the bottom.