Question For Bottoms

[Guest]

There is a lid for every pot, so it's said.  Sometimes it just take time and dedication to find people that are into the same twisted stuff that you are.  I felt like that with mpreg.  Many guys just don't get the fascination.  But many love it, and that's where I found my tribe.  And my husband.

[truepig]

Living in a very rural area definitely have trouble finding Tops who are as extreme as I am. I always describe myself as a PIG - letting them make their own judgments as to what that means until we've fucked a few times and I've felt them out. Funny thing is one of my friends who I always thought was so damn vanilla has turned out to be even a little more extreme than I am when it comes to the "dirtier" activities.  

[tallslenderguy]

i think there's some really good and thoughtful answers to this question.  i don't really think there is a 'right' or 'wrong' answer, to me everyone adds some pieces to a puzzle? i think it's a heteronormative fantasy that there is a perfect fit for every person... which i don't think should keep one from looking for 'chemistry' with a person. To me it's a matter of finding enough harmonious notes with another person to make music. 

There's so many things that can get in the way of that, for instance, communication.  Some guys are not self aware, so they don't even know if they would be into another guys kinks. Then there are guys who have what they perceive as "dark" fantasies, but are afraid to articulate them, or have no idea how to talk about them. 

Fear of opening up and/or inability to articulate who they are and what they like are two of the biggest impediments i find when trying to connect with a guy, especially in areas i consider deep ("dark, twisted, etc.?").   i try to practice openness and vulnerability with a guy i think might be a potential  ("deep") connection. To me, that's leading by example, so to speak. "Leading" lol, not something typically associated with a sub or bottom.  Sometimes scares guys away, sometimes makes them feel safe to express their own self, but then, sometimes they don't know how.  Some expect you to pull it out of them, make you do all the work of exposing your self and getting them to talk. The really frustrating guys are those who expect you to read their mind, or just magically know how they are or what they like lol. sigh. 

Honestly, i don't think this is unique to Tops or Dom's, i've seen it just as much with us bottoms and subs. i've seen some amazingly wonderful and articulate Tops and Dom's on this site.  i think it's a reflection of individual development and maturity. To me, the most mature attribute i look for is security enough to discuss and mutually learn about each other.  

This is way too clinical of a way to express it, but i see connection and bonding in physics terms, yin/yang. Positive ions attract and bond to negative ions (Top/bottom, Dom/sub). i think we have to know how to expose our 'ions' to each other in order to determine and experience attraction and bonding (bondage 😉 )

 

[find91]

I know  I may not be the intended audience for this thread but I thought I might offer some friendly advice since I'm mostly a top. First once you are getting into hard kink or S&M connection is key. Contrary to popular believe it takes a certain mindset and dedication to be a Sadistic Dom this is why it won't be that common to find. Especially if you are located in remote or small towns. It's easy to find am asshole or a top that doesn't give a shit about you, but much harder to find a top that will fuck you up but not maim or kill you because it takes a certain level of skill to actually play rough. Depending on your hard kink you are looking to realize it might be better to actually include vers guys in your search that can take the TOP role because these guys usually have already experienced what you maybe looking for and know how to give you the intensity you need with out killing you.

Also, when approaching a top and taboo fantasies, like what a lot of guys have said you need to test out the waters first don't just shoot off all the fantasies you want to try, because firstly, you might scare them off ( some tops just like to cuddle LOL), secondly the top may be into the same thing you are but if we start feeling that the bottom is just using us to realize their fantasy without wanting to connect, it turns a top off. contrary to bottoms top don't like to feel used ( unless you are a service top( look it up)).

For all the guys wanting to be pimped out, whored out or be the center of a gangbang. Those tend to be hard things to realize, because most guys tend to flakes in general so a top may contact other tops but they never show up because not all tops play well with each other and some become insecure in group setting. With all that said you have to ask yourself this question for all that work to setup it up, what is the top getting out of this? 

I'm not trying to knock anyone's fantasy. God knows I have some fucked up shit I want to do to girls and bottoms. I'm just giving you the top's perspective so you bottoms can get better results in finding a top that will help you realize your fantasy. They do exist, you just might have to travel a bit your take your time to get to know them so the play can get to the intensity you dream off.

[Guest]

Yes. My fantasies about my being finally pozzed seem too freaky for most guys that claim they are into pozzing.