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Spokaneboy

Is there something wrong with me?

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I guess I consider my self a straight man with a bit of bi curiousity. I am a married man and have a beautiful wife that has a bigger sexual appetite then I do, so guess I shouldn’t have any complaints. Being a married guy with a gorgeous wife I shouldn’t be thinking about cocks and cum, yet I do. I’m not really attracted to guys but can’t stop thinking about cock, and how I wish I was being stuffed by a giant one. The bigger the better making me submit to a real man making me a fuck hole for him. I don’t know why I am having these thought and when I do look at porn I gravitate towards the gay and transgender types of porn, not the straight kind that a married man should be watching. I do enjoy this site more then I should and appreciate any feedback. What do you guys thing, is there something wrong with me and what should I do about these thoughts?

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Agree with beanna.

Also seeing if you get physically aroused when you are naked and intimate with another man will tell you a lot. 

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1 minute ago, sethgecko said:

Agree with beanna.

Also seeing if you get physically aroused when you are naked and intimate with another man will tell you a lot. 

if you get aroused from it, then your hooked for ever,it is like a addictive drug

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1 hour ago, Spokaneboy said:

I guess I consider my self a straight man with a bit of bi curiousity. I am a married man and have a beautiful wife that has a bigger sexual appetite then I do, so guess I shouldn’t have any complaints. Being a married guy with a gorgeous wife I shouldn’t be thinking about cocks and cum, yet I do. I’m not really attracted to guys but can’t stop thinking about cock, and how I wish I was being stuffed by a giant one. The bigger the better making me submit to a real man making me a fuck hole for him. I don’t know why I am having these thought and when I do look at porn I gravitate towards the gay and transgender types of porn, not the straight kind that a married man should be watching. I do enjoy this site more then I should and appreciate any feedback. What do you guys thing, is there something wrong with me and what should I do about these thoughts?

Same for me to...

 

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33 minutes ago, beanna said:

you will never know until you finally take a cock in you

He already has taken cock (i went to his profile page and checked out his other posts). 

@Spokaneboy:  Human sexuality is complicated, eh?  The spectrum theory on human sexuality makes the most sense to me.  I.e., way overly simply put, gay is at one end of the spectrum, straight at the other and we all fall somewhere on that 'line.'  Based on what you have written here and on your other posts, you obviously aren't strictly straight. Reading the things you've written about what you want/need, it doesn't look like it's just physical either. If you were just looking for the physical sensation of having something up your ass, a dildo would do. There's lots of straight guys who like anal sex with their wive's or girl friends and never desire it with a guy because they're straight. 

As to your question "is there something wrong with me...?"  idk if you are really asking or if this is a fantasy question of some sort?  It seems to me that you are bi, at the very least and that you need to figure out how to live with who you are. It reads like you may be feeling conflicted about being bi? If part of your make up is to be sexually attracted to men, the evidence has pretty shown that that is not going to go away, so the next step would be to figure out how to live as a bi man.  Therapy might help. 

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I guess I consider my self bi curious and yes I have taken cock before and I did really enjoy that. My first ever sexual encounter was when I was in my mid teens with an older man that was very patient with me, He was my dads age. Therapy isn’t something for me but I guess I just need to accept that I might be bi. Not sure my wife would approve of this if I ever told her, so then the question is do I just occasionally satisfy my desires by bottoming for someone?

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Nothing is wrong with you. This may sound weird but liking cock does not necessarily mean you are gay or Bi. You may simply like the idea of being penetrated and this is how you connect to your passive side. There are a lot of straight yes I said straight guys that are into getting pegged by their wife's and have no interest in pursuing a relationship that being sexual or romantic with another man. You really have to ask yourself why does taking a big cock such an appealing idea to you? Is your non attraction to men more based on stigma or an actually non sexual attraction to men. These questions will not be answered in a day and you don't have to declare or state the answers to anyone but yourself. My point is You might be Bi you might not. You need to do some soul searching to answer that question for yourself. All that being said as a Bi man myself I understand your dilemma concerning your wife. Any decision you make concerning that with have their positive and negative consequences, just make sure if you really do love her you do have to factor in her health and well being in your decision as well.

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2 hours ago, Spokaneboy said:

 I’m not really attracted to guys but can’t stop thinking about cock, and how I wish I was being stuffed by a giant one. The bigger the better making me submit to a real man making me a fuck hole for him. 

21 minutes ago, Spokaneboy said:

. Not sure my wife would approve of this if I ever told her, so then the question is do I just occasionally satisfy my desires by bottoming for someone?

 

i see a conflict between "...can't stop thinking about cock" and "....just occasionally satisfy my desires."  i was married (to a woman) and was having sex with guys for years. For me, i was from a religious background where being gay was considered a sickness and "sin."  Took me awhile to work through all of that and come to a place of self acceptance. Meanwhile, i lied and cheated to fill that need. i hated myself because of that. my wife knew about my attraction to guys before we married, but it was a different era and she just thought i was 'confused.'  i thought i could get over it. Neither was true.  

Personally, i cannot recommend a life of lying and cheating.  i use those words without any rancor, that's simply what it is. It took a toll on me and those i love. i know people in open marriages, lots of bi people do that, others want monogamy. my wife stayed religious and to this day thinks i'm sick (divorced since 2008), so staying with her wouldn't have worked for me, but i would have if she had been accepting of who i am.  

Marriage is a significant relationship, if you keep this part of you secret, you will end up feeling alone and unknown in the most significant relationship you have. Didn't work for me.

 

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Go with the flow. 

I once went to a super piggy play party for a morning session and at night I saw the guy who bred me holding hands all lovey dovey at a street fair with a chick. So experiment and have fun. Follow your inner whore. 

Edited by Chargedup
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I can’t say I condone stepping outside the marriage either, but it’s happened. When I have done it I few so excited to get that feeling of being filled up and once I cum I feel ashamed I’ve done it. But later on I jerk of to what I’ve just done possibly with the man’s seed still deep within me. 

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2 hours ago, Spokaneboy said:

I can’t say I condone stepping outside the marriage either, but it’s happened. When I have done it I few so excited to get that feeling of being filled up and once I cum I feel ashamed I’ve done it. But later on I jerk of to what I’ve just done possibly with the man’s seed still deep within me. 

Just make sure that the guys who top you either wear protection or don't have STIs. You don't want to have to explain to your wife one day why you aren't fucking her raw.

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3 hours ago, Spokaneboy said:

I can’t say I condone stepping outside the marriage either, but it’s happened. When I have done it I few so excited to get that feeling of being filled up and once I cum I feel ashamed I’ve done it. But later on I jerk of to what I’ve just done possibly with the man’s seed still deep within me. 

yeah, i get that. i was super religious and it took me forever to get to a place of self acceptance. Meanwhile, i cheated and lied a lot. For me, sex with men became my only form of affirmation. i would crave it and couldn't resist, then immediately after (within seconds) i'd feel ashamed and rotten... then i'd do it again, often daily. And i did give her a couple of STI's and she believed me when i lied again.  I learned early on to never get my cock sucked so i wouldn't give her chlamydia or gonnorhea. At one point, she got sick with CMA and i convinced myself i'd given her HIV, so i told her what i had been doing and it all came crashing down. Was awful, it really hurt her. i think it's better to be open now vs later. 

i don't think there is anything wrong with you and i think that's what traps us in situations where we feel like we have to lie.  What's wrong is feeling you have to lie about who you are for fear of rejection or judgement. 

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3 hours ago, takingdeepanal said:

Just make sure that the guys who top you either wear protection or don't have STIs. You don't want to have to explain to your wife one day why you aren't fucking her raw.

So how do I go about finding a top that doesn’t have anything? Not sure I’d want a rubber even if there is an increased risk... I want to be a good boy and take what is given as it’s a turn on thinking about it

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1 hour ago, Spokaneboy said:

So how do I go about finding a top that doesn’t have anything? Not sure I’d want a rubber even if there is an increased risk... I want to be a good boy and take what is given as it’s a turn on thinking about it

Not entirely sure. If you lived here, I'd be happy to introduce you to my friends. 

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