Tips to help me cum

[Marlarbar]

Hi everyone, 

I didn't find any past thread about this topic : I am only top and whichever i am SUPER excited or not, i am not abble to cum when I am fucking someone. 

Before, I put it on the condom, but as I will pretty soon be on PReP, i need advice to be abble cum. I never bred my husband (8 years old relationship) and I am determined to change this with him and with other cumdumps I'll fuck.

 

Was someone in the same situation as me and found a way to bred asses ?

Thanks a lot !

 

 

[ALPHAboy]

Well condoms are killing for fucking in the first place cause I hardly feel anything with a condom on... So blame that on the rubber for sure. But it has been many years ago I last had to put one on... So forget about the whole rubber thing by definition. I have to admit, I do not cum very fast and each hole is different with each hole having a different sensation on my cock. Some cunts are way too 'hollow' on the inside which means there's less friction between my cock and the cunt walls, making it harder to orgasm and ejaculate. 

[plainsimple3]

I heard something about this actually. It’s an actual condition called delayed ejaculation. I suffer the same thing and also would like to change things, because I have lots of cum to share! 

[Petereater]

Might be time to check in with a urologist...

[Marlarbar]

2 hours ago, Petereater said:

Might be time to check in with a urologist...

True question : what is the link with my orgasms and an urologist ?

[alwaysready]

relax.  once you come. wait a couple of hours to cum again. that second acme can be intense.

re: urologist.  if you start taking what I call 'piss pills' say goodbye to your cum.

[find91]

Question do you jerk off a lot or edge?

[tallslenderguy]

If i understand you correctly, it's not that you cannot cum, it's that you have not cum when fucking?  Is that correct? Ever?  Have you always used a condom with your husband? Do you cum from masturbation or oral stimulation?

Can you tell us more? Particularly is it that you cannot cum at all or you just have not cum when fucking? 

 

[Marlarbar]

46 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

If i understand you correctly, it's not that you cannot cum, it's that you have not cum when fucking?  Is that correct? Ever?  Have you always used a condom with your husband? Do you cum from masturbation or oral stimulation?

Can you tell us more? Particularly is it that you cannot cum at all or you just have not cum when fucking? 

 

I can't cum when I fuck or someone suck my dick, but I do can cum when i jercking off.  I fuck my husband bare. I meant : when I fuck with or without a condom, I just can't cum.

Yes, I jerk off a lot : i have a HUGE sex drive, i need to jerk off to not becoming crazy. Of course I tried to not jerk for a long time to see if it changes something : it doesn't

 

THanks a lot for triyng to help.

[tallslenderguy]

7 minutes ago, Marlarbar said:

I can't cum when I fuck or someone suck my dick, but I do can cum when i jercking off.  I fuck my husband bare. I meant : when I fuck with or without a condom, I just can't cum.

Yes, I jerk off a lot : i have a HUGE sex drive, i need to jerk off to not becoming crazy. Of course I tried to not jerk for a long time to see if it changes something : it doesn't

 

THanks a lot for triyng to help.

Okay... that info helps narrow this down for me. i don't think your issue is something requiring a urologist because you know you can cum... that's not the issue. The issue is you do not cum when getting sucked or fucking.  We know it's not the condom preventing you from cumming because you fuck your husband bare.  

i think ALPHAboy makes a good point about friction... but the odds of you never being with someone who has provided enough friction seem low to me, unless you simply haven't had much sex with a variety of guys?  I.e., you have been monogamous and are now considering an open relationship or you've always used condoms with everyone except your husband. 

my guess is your block is mental/emotional. So much of sex is in the mind.  When i was younger and first married (to a woman) a few weeks into the marriage my wife cried and insisted i didn't care about her because she was not having an orgasm every time we had sex.  The truth is, i was young and new at sex (not saying you are, not my point). It wasn't that i didn't care, i was ignorant. i.e., i married as a virgin and had not idea how to make her cum.  The point is, from that day, i learned how to condition myself to not cum until she did. Some of it was physical, but for the most part i learned how to flip a switch in my mind where i simply would not orgasm until she did. Her orgasm actually ended up becoming a trigger for my own.  

What i am thinking is you have done something similar, sort of a reverse of pre-mature ejaculation.  You have conditioned yourself not to cum when fucking or getting sucked by belieiving you cannot.   i know i am oversimplifying here, i don't presume to know the details of your life or how you got to this place, but it doesn't seem physiological to me. i wonder if something like hypnosis might work to help overcome the mental barrier (if that's what it is) and help you believe you can come when fucking and getting sucked?

[blackrobe]

23 minutes ago, Marlarbar said:

I can't cum when I fuck or someone suck my dick, but I do can cum when i jercking off.  I fuck my husband bare. I meant : when I fuck with or without a condom, I just can't cum.

Yes, I jerk off a lot : i have a HUGE sex drive, i need to jerk off to not becoming crazy. Of course I tried to not jerk for a long time to see if it changes something : it doesn't

 

THanks a lot for triyng to help.

When you jerk off, how do you do it? Is it a firm grip on your cock? Very fast strokes? Do you use lube? Do you always do it the same way, or do you vary it? There is something sex advice columnist Dan Savage has called "death grip syndrome". It's where a man's cock has been trained to cum from a specific kind of (often firm) stimulation, making it hard or impossible for his cock to cum from the lighter stimulation of a man's hungry cunt milking him. Without knowing more, that would be my best first guess. There is even a web site for it. If it is, I think long-term dick retraining as Savage suggests is likely the way to go. I've also wondered whether either using a chastity cage and/or hypnosis would help starve the cock of sensation at all, and then sensitize it to the new, softer sensations of a thirsty man cunt.

[Marlarbar]

3 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

Okay... that info helps narrow this down for me. i don't think your issue is something requiring a urologist because you know you can cum... that's not the issue. The issue is you do not cum when getting sucked or fucking.  We know it's not the condom preventing you from cumming because you fuck your husband bare.  

i think ALPHAboy makes a good point about friction... but the odds of you never being with someone who has provided enough friction seem low to me, unless you simply haven't had much sex with a variety of guys?  I.e., you have been monogamous and are now considering an open relationship or you've always used condoms with everyone except your husband. 

my guess is your block is mental/emotional. So much of sex is in the mind.  When i was younger and first married (to a woman) a few weeks into the marriage my wife cried and insisted i didn't care about her because she was not having an orgasm every time we had sex.  The truth is, i was young and new at sex (not saying you are, not my point). It wasn't that i didn't care, i was ignorant. i.e., i married as a virgin and had not idea how to make her cum.  The point is, from that day, i learned how to condition myself to not cum until she did. Some of it was physical, but for the most part i learned how to flip a switch in my mind where i simply would not orgasm until she did. Her orgasm actually ended up becoming a trigger for my own.  

What i am thinking is you have done something similar, sort of a reverse of pre-mature ejaculation.  You have conditioned yourself not to cum when fucking or getting sucked by belieiving you cannot.   i know i am oversimplifying here, i don't presume to know the details of your life or how you got to this place, but it doesn't seem physiological to me. i wonder if something like hypnosis might work to help overcome the mental barrier (if that's what it is) and help you believe you can come when fucking and getting sucked?

First of all, thanks a lot !

I had plenty of sexual partners, my husband and I are both really piggy.
I think you are pretty right about the fact that I think i cannot cum so ... I don't.

[Marlarbar]

3 hours ago, blackrobe said:

When you jerk off, how do you do it? Is it a firm grip on your cock? Very fast strokes? Do you use lube? Do you always do it the same way, or do you vary it? There is something sex advice columnist Dan Savage has called "death grip syndrome". It's where a man's cock has been trained to cum from a specific kind of (often firm) stimulation, making it hard or impossible for his cock to cum from the lighter stimulation of a man's hungry cunt milking him. Without knowing more, that would be my best first guess. There is even a web site for it. If it is, I think long-term dick retraining as Savage suggests is likely the way to go. I've also wondered whether either using a chastity cage and/or hypnosis would help starve the cock of sensation at all, and then sensitize it to the new, softer sensations of a thirsty man cunt.

Really interesting ! I think you are right in some way, i strock my cock pretty firmly.

I'll read the link you gave me !

[blackrobe]

6 minutes ago, Marlarbar said:

Really interesting ! I think you are right in some way, i strock my cock pretty firmly.

I'll read the link you gave me !

I'm glad to help. No man should miss out of the feeling of fucking and breeding his essence into a willing ass, and no willing ass should miss out on the feeling of being fucked and bred. 

[Bhamneg]

I’ve always found it difficult to cum as a top and very rarely cum from fucking/blowjobs. Then I had a masturbation detox for a week and it made my cock so much more sensitive. I broke the detox by getting a blowjob which made me cum in minutes and it was mindblowing.

I’ve majorly cut back on wanking since and even when I do, I use lube and have a very light grip on my cock. It’s been a real game changer and the sex I’ve had since has been immense.

So my advice to you, is have a sex detox for a week and cut back on the wanking. Then your husband will be full of your jizz all the time.