What makes you choose a particular bottom at a venue?

[Riverfk]

I don't see a btm who's clearly available for use at the baths, etc, as too aggressive, just ready and inviting.

[FelchingPisser]

4 hours ago, ErosWired said:

What about a bottom who comes into a relatively open space, for instance a larger open space in a steam room, a video room in a bath or ABS, or a room with a fucking bench, and makes himself clearly available for present use? Is he considered by the Top community as being aggressive, even if he’s just lying there, albeit in front of everyone who comes in?....

....I honestly don’t know the answer. Tops’ brains are inscrutable to me. I’m deeply grateful that they often switch over and think with the ‘little head’ - I just wish I understood their wants and needs better so I could serve them better.

I don't think you are being too aggressive.  I have no issues with playing in the most public of areas.  If he looks like he has been well used, I might pass him by the first time--to save him for my final fuck.

[Guest Ash69]

I think that's about right. I'm hypersexual, especially in a bathhouse, especially when I've in the G and the T, and I feel the judgement and contempt viscerally. Sometimes, I have the door of my room open and I'm doggy, strutting my ass in the sky...and the look on their faces is like, "what the fuck are you doing faggot"

[headnurse20]

4 hours ago, ErosWired said:

What about a bottom who comes into a relatively open space, for instance a larger open space in a steam room, a video room in a bath or ABS, or a room with a fucking bench, and makes himself clearly available for present use? Is he considered by the Top community as being aggressive, even if he’s just lying there, albeit in front of everyone who comes in?

 I have seen this done - and even tried it myself a couple of times because you can’t win if you don’t play - but the only reaction from Tops I’ve ever seen, or gotten, is that they either walk by as though the bottom is invisible, or on occasion one may stop, squeeze and/or pat the ass, mumble something like “Nice ass,” and move on.

So is such a bottom being seen as too forward or too aggressive? Is the setting just too public, and if so, why, for fuck’s sake? Nobody’s there to take a bath or pick up a good book - we’re all there for more or less the same reason. Is it an uneasiness about being seen as the first guy willing to fuck a whore, fuck in public, fuck a public whore, or fuck a whore in public? (These are nuances appreciated by seasoned fucksmiths.)

Does such a bottom automatically come across as needy, greedy or desperate because no bottom worth considering would ever actually look at Tops as a meat market?

Or does this have something to do with Top psychology that reasons that good ass is the bounty of the hunt, and there’s no sport in using an ass that any Man could use without any effort or discernment? Is it even, in some cases, that a Top isn’t properly motivated toward a bottom unless the bottom first signals an individual interest in him, building his sense of personal prowess versus other men present, thereby stroking his ego?

 I honestly don’t know the answer. Tops’ brains are inscrutable to me. I’m deeply grateful that they often switch over and think with the ‘little head’ - I just wish I understood their wants and needs better so I could serve them better.

Couldnt agree more! It amazes me that some days at the bathhouse every one seems to be afraid to fuck publicly, even in the dark room on the platform or the sling. I started following this thread so I  could learn to better serve tops! Helps us bottoms out you guys!

[ErosWired]

1 hour ago, Ash69 said:

I think that's about right. I'm hypersexual, especially in a bathhouse, especially when I've in the G and the T, and I feel the judgement and contempt viscerally. Sometimes, I have the door of my room open and I'm doggy, strutting my ass in the sky...and the look on their faces is like, "what the fuck are you doing faggot"

Actually, whenever I’m in service at the baths, I make it a point to always face away from the (always open) door. This serves two purposes - first, they don’t have to look at my made-for-radio face before deciding whether they might be interested, and second, I never have to deal with the expressions of those who judge me.

Not that that would faze me in the least; if I’m going to a public bathhouse and, literally, let it all hang out, my feels have to be coated with Teflon. I am not, after all there to be loved - I’m there to be used, and that is my mission. The day that I realize no Man wants my service any longer will be the day I stop.

[Guest Ash69]

Some startlingly good points made on this thread have made me suddenly reconsider my position. Tops are there for the hunt - not much of a hunt if I'm just lying down in front of them ready to 'go' (and actually literally - and I mean literally - begging for it). I'm maybe spoiling the game - there is no game (that where the word comes from - the chase for meat - and there's no chase if you're happily, gleefully 'handing your ass over' saying pleeeasssee!

I mean, what's something worth that takes zero effort to acquire. 

Edited January 27, 2020 by Ash69

[ErosWired]

1 hour ago, Ash69 said:

I mean, what's something worth that takes zero effort to acquire.

When I questioned above whether a Top’s desire for the “bounty of the hunt” it was more a question about Top perceptions than the value of bottoms.

As I have said before elsewhere in the forum, a significant number of Tops have told me that I give exceptionally good ass. (I don’t know how true that is since I can’t myself to find out, but they do keep coming back...) The quality of my ass is going to be the same whether a Top has to seek me out, seduce me or overpower me to take it, or simply takes advantage of my ass raised as he passes by. That is to say, the ass has intrinsic value independent of any added value it might accrue If it were more difficult to obtain.

 If you find a $100 bill on the sidewalk, do you walk away and leave it there, thinking it’s not worth taking because you didn’t have to work to get it? Of course not, and I would hope that a good piece of ass would be seen in the same way.

Edited January 27, 2020 by ErosWired

[AirmaxUK]

I've found that "getting involved" really helps attract interest. If you stand around the edges I think people think you're not confident or not up for it. The best times I've had is where you have a good session a group or with another guy and that advertises what you're up for. If I go to a sauna it's good to go with a friend and have a public play demonstration with them initially - see who takes an interest  and take it from there. The slowest times are usually when I'm on my own and aren't familiar with the clientele - getting that first play is hard. 

Being a bit versatile often helps as it can give you an 'in' to a group and then you can flip. 

Ax

[RandyCubby]

Just catch their eye, smile, nod... indicate you're available without looking desperate or being obnoxious. He'll fuck you or he won't. It's his decision.

[DirtyBruin]

It does depend somewhat on the setting - at a party like Wet 'n Hot, bottoms have to be direct about it to get fucked. Unless you're some top's absolute wet dream, with so many willing and available they're not going to chase you down. I'm certainly not "mainstream gay hot" but I was surprised how rarely my hole went begging when I'd mount a fuck bench or lay back in a sling and make it clear my furry fuckhole is available. 

[NWUSHorny]

22 hours ago, ErosWired said:

What about a bottom who comes into a relatively open space, for instance a larger open space in a steam room, a video room in a bath or ABS, or a room with a fucking bench, and makes himself clearly available for present use? Is he considered by the Top community as being aggressive, even if he’s just lying there, albeit in front of everyone who comes in?

 I have seen this done - and even tried it myself a couple of times because you can’t win if you don’t play - but the only reaction from Tops I’ve ever seen, or gotten, is that they either walk by as though the bottom is invisible, or on occasion one may stop, squeeze and/or pat the ass, mumble something like “Nice ass,” and move on.

So is such a bottom being seen as too forward or too aggressive? Is the setting just too public, and if so, why, for fuck’s sake? Nobody’s there to take a bath or pick up a good book - we’re all there for more or less the same reason. Is it an uneasiness about being seen as the first guy willing to fuck a whore, fuck in public, fuck a public whore, or fuck a whore in public? (These are nuances appreciated by seasoned fucksmiths.)

Does such a bottom automatically come across as needy, greedy or desperate because no bottom worth considering would ever actually look at Tops as a meat market?

What you describe, is the bottom that usually gets my cock and load, especially when I am getting ready to leave.  I don't have to wonder if you are only there for the attention, or can only take a few strokes before you need a break.  If I've already shot a load or 2 it is a bonus if you are already loose and ready to go.  I'm also an exhibitionist that likes to fuck in public. 

As a versatile guy trying to get fucked I have as much luck bending over in the public areas or hopping in the sling, as I do going the more descreet route, with a little less aggravation.  

[NWUSHorny]

12 hours ago, AirmaxAndy said:

I've found that "getting involved" really helps attract interest. If you stand around the edges I think people think you're not confident or not up for it. The best times I've had is where you have a good session a group or with another guy and that advertises what you're up for. If I go to a sauna it's good to go with a friend and have a public play demonstration with them initially - see who takes an interest  and take it from there. The slowest times are usually when I'm on my own and aren't familiar with the clientele - getting that first play is hard. 

Being a bit versatile often helps as it can give you an 'in' to a group and then you can flip. 

Ax

Both sometimes help, although being versatile is an even bigger benefit than having someone to make a public display with.  I get a lot more action with other versatile guys than either total bottoms or tops.

[bbzh]

For me, success in sexually charged settings is more about subtlety, constantly monitoring the environment for clues and, to some extent, luck. Of course you can present your ass for anyone who wants it, but there will be guys who will pass on it because maybe they like the challenge of the hunt or they don't want to fuck in public. If I am in a bottoming mood, I will first try to identify the other bottoms and then I look at how (the guys I think are) tops respond to them. I usually offer blow jobs in public to signal that I will bottom. If a bottom is being too aggressive with me, I will let them play with my cock, but will not allow myself to get hard. That way, they lose interest and focus on another target.

I'm doing pretty much the same thing when I want to top. While it's nice to know who the cumdumps are, other factors will determine if I fuck you (level of attraction to you, age, height, weight, etc). I probably enjoy myself most when I'm in a versatile mood. I feel like a kid in a candy store. It's always funny to me to see the looks on guys' faces when they see me topping after they've bred me or another bottom I've fucked sees me getting plowed.

I guess we all have a "strategy" of sorts when we are seeking sex, but sticking to a particular strategy is always going to be somewhat hit or miss. It's all a gamble - but what I'm discovering is that we are not nearly as much in control of what happens as we THINK we are. Your strategy tonight might get you 10 loads. Same strategy, different day, different crowd = no loads.

[Eastvillagefun]

Honestly, looking at this from the other side...when I'm out at a sex club or bath house and gelling like being a total cumdump, I'll just present my ass in a public area because I want the kind of top who is happy to fuck a cumdump won y doesn't give a shit about THEM. I kinda think a top at a venue like that looking for a "virgin" or a hard-to-get hole is a little ridiculous.

If I'm in the mood for a specific kind of guy, then I'm not going to be face down like that and I'll be in a cruiser mode and will be operating in a more traditional manner. However, I still don't expect my top to be unsullied any more than he should think he's especially skilled at catching me or assume I'm unviolated.

In short, everyone is there for whatever they are there for and when goals line up, there is fucking. When they don't, you m move on until you find sunshine on the same page. Sometimes that works. Sometimes you go home empty. But I ask you other bottom cumdumps out there, do you WANT to put aside your desires and act more selective when you just want everybody to fuck you? Or would putting aside your very sexual appetites turn YOU off a little?

[Guest]

On 1/27/2020 at 8:29 AM, RandyCubby said:

Just catch their eye, smile, nod... indicate you're available without looking desperate or being obnoxious. He'll fuck you or he won't. It's his decision.

Perfectly stated.