Living life as an openly POZ gay man

[Rubberbanned]

I wish I can be as open as you are about my status. The stigma is very strong here up to this day. I've tried creating a "poz" profile on gay apps, which rarely get any visits and messages. Meanwhile, my original profile which says "Safer Sex: Needs discussion/Let's talk" gets lots of hits. We never talked about our status and just go straight to bareback fucking. It's strong proof that people still don't want to talk about HIV here (but will engage in risky, bareback sex regardless).

[tj87]

Definitely be up front about it. I'd sleep with you in a heartbeat. Italian boys 🥵!!

I'm neg, I don't mind condoms, but I much prefer taking loads. Popped that cherry over Christmas and it's been a jizz fest ever since. I take PreP because I don't chase HIV (no judgement to those who do). I feel about HIV in the in the same way I feel about the flu or coronavirus - realistically it's not gonna kill me, but it would be something else I'd have to deal with. 

And like flu or Coronavirus, I wouldn't judge anyone who got it. 

I wouldn't knowingly sleep with someone who wasn't medicating their condition. It's the 21st Century and people should take care of themselves - and others by proxy. I like guys who know a bit about their condition, are on top of their medication, know what they're taking and why etc. It breeds confidence - and then usually my ass.

I've slept with a few undetectable men, sometimes with condoms but more recently raw since I started taking PreP. I know an undetectable viral load means it can't be transmitted, but the extra protection makes me feel safer in a belt and braces way, and I sleep with plenty of negative folks with condoms too.

The "I would've told you my status once I knew we were gonna hook up" (which i get every now and then) is SUPER sketchy and a total turn off. Recently chatting to a guy about a potential hook up, I explained that I'd come off PreP for the lockdown and then he started spouting all this nonsense about how PreP worked - and then said he was on PreP, then no - different meds, then explained he was positive, but undetectable, all in the most opaque way possible, I had to really drag it out of him and that lack of transparency freaked me out.

I wanna be as safe a slut as I can be and that means making an informed choice to go bare. I also think that the longer people hide their status, the longer it will perpetuate the stigma that it's something to be ashamed of - which it isn't.

[rawTOP]

If you're in a jurisdiction that requires disclosure of HIV status (I think that's the case in Ontario, but it's being challenged), then put it in your profile. If you're in a location that doesn't criminalize HIV (like NY) then do whatever you like. Honestly, if you're undetectable and can't infect them, it's really not any of their business (IMHO). That said, if asked a direct question about it don't lie – maybe evade the question, but don't say you're neg.

[Pozguyinchi]

I too have been poz for 19 years. I am transparent with everything in my life so I have never tried to hide it. I have had situations where I would rather it not be brought up. As for dating. I’m the early years I would only play with other poz guys. I only bareback and it seemed the best option. In the last 6 years I have started getting bred by neg men.  As a total bottom I feel the risk is low. I have never dated a man that was neg long term. I still prefer poz guys. It’s just my preference.  I also was not happy about becoming poz. At the time I converted we didn’t have the treatment we do today.  I have over time become proud and learned to embrace my status because it’s part of who I am. 

[Guest]

I've always listed my status in profiles on sex sites since I tested poz in 1985. (It was the first year testing was available, although I likely converted two years earlier.) A few of my past profile names were RawPozLust and ProudPozPig. Got a biohaz tatt on my chest so guys at the baths would know my status immediately. In other words, I embraced my HIV status (to the point of making it a fetish), took care of my health, and have enjoyed an immensely rich and hot sex life for many years.

Yes, I'm fortunate. And I realize everyone's situation is different, so I don't judge guys who are reluctant to be up front about their status. But I remember thinking when I tested poz in my 20s that life is short, and i want to live it honestly on my own terms. I've done so with no apologies, shame or regrets.

Edited May 24, 2020 by DeviantLust

[SmoothATLVers]

2 hours ago, DeviantLust said:

I've always listed my status in profiles on sex sites since I tested poz in 1985. (It was the first year testing was available, although I likely converted two years earlier.) A few of my past profile names were RawPozLust and ProudPozPig. Got a biohaz tatt on my chest so guys at the baths would know my status immediately. In other words, I embraced my HIV status (to the point of making it a fetish), took care of my health, and have enjoyed an immensely rich and hot sex life for many years.

Yes, I'm fortunate. And I realize everyone's situation is different, so I don't judge guys who are reluctant to be up front about their status. But I remember thinking when I tested poz in my 20s that life is short, and i want to live it honestly on my own terms. I've done so with no apologies, shame 

Kudos to you for your honesty. In 1985 AIDS was considered a death sentence. Wonderful you are still above ground and with us. 😀

[tboyer]

An early blood sample was tested, and I was pozzed no later than 82, I could have in the late 70's. When I go out cruising wearing a bio hazard tanktop I seem to get more 

"positives attention" , so yes I'm very upfront about being poz on my profiles.  Perhaps it's because I live in San Francisco. At this point Twinkfoot, meds are contentiously improving and HIV won't prevent you from living a normal

life span. I think you will find poz guys seem to be less inhibited in sex, and will probably have guys ask you to go off your meds so that you can poz them.

 

Anyway I always thought you were very cute in your porn videos  

Edited May 24, 2020 by tboyer

[tboyer]

Twinkfoot, you might take comfort with the idea that because Prep was making you ill and  yet you were still drawn to bareback sex (who can blame you)

So you are now free to enjoy bareback sex with a different drug combination.  

I myself can't take Truvada which is used for Prep, so if I had to choose between not having bareback sex with strangers or being poz, I would pick being poz.

I think you will find being poz a relief 

Edited May 24, 2020 by tboyer

[PiercedVersGinger]

I really only care if a guy is Hiv+ if he´s currently positive. If he´s undetectable, not so much

But it is nice to know the status of the perso tho

[bareback-flipflop]

I think, now the STDs are definitely less dicey things then earlier. When in early March the acting doctor (an almost 70 lady) investigated me, she said that getting any STDs is better then being ill with COVID. I am neg on prep and I fuck with poz guys without hesitation. Taking prep has become the part of my daily routine (before COVID celibacy). I take every morning my multivitamins and Prep. I think, furthermore, I know that living with HIV (I mean being poz on meds) today is not so dangerous like smoking dozen of cigarettes, drinking alcohol and eating fat foods every day. 
Will you ever be stigmatised on the future because of your status? Yes, of course. Some of the people always stigmatise others. You are gay, you’re single, you don’t have any child, you are divorced, because of your gender, your origin and the list is endless. But never mind. There are more and more people, who aren’t stupid. 
However, it is important to highlight the responsibility of others. If I have sex, I have to be clear with the risks of it. If I have bareback sex, I must know I can get all kind of STDs (except the ones I have immunity). Independently of the label on the profile or the answer to my question if the other is clean. Anyway, this is the stupidest question and I get it many times, even though the guy is the third behind my cumfilled ass.

To sum up, being proud openly poz gay can be sometimes, many times hard, but wot or without it you are a valuable person and kick the hypocrites’ ass. 
 

[Poz2play]

It’s been 6 years since I was pozzed. Two years before becoming poz , I was two years into a homosexual affair while I was married to my wife. My soon to be boyfriend got me started into becoming a poz gay male. He got me in to barebacking and starting to chase. We would both sneak away to have sex at work. I was going from being a straight male to becoming a homosexual male. This affair got hotter and hotter. So the affair got really good later in the year. My boyfriend had been sick a few weeks before a holiday party. We met up at the party. People were starting to say that I was gay. No not yet. I was a straight male having a homosexual affair with a friend. I still straight to my friends and family. My boyfriend and I snuck away to fuck each other. Soon after that I started to get sick. And soon after that I seroconverted. Wow now I’m poz. My first thought was I wanted to stay negative. But after thinking about it my boyfriend was that we are both poz now. After this news got out. My wife found out that I was cheating on her with men and that I am HIV POSITIVE now. My marriage ended there. So also come out as Gay to friends and family. Friends were surprised that I was Gay now. I have no regrets for becoming a poz homosexual man. 

 

 

 

 

 

[PupLucca]

On 3/14/2020 at 9:35 AM, TwinkFoot said:

So I recently tested positive for HIV just last week. I had a test back in early January that returned negative results, and then another one in late February that returned positive. In January, I had a really terrible flu (but I tested negative for the flu and the doctor chalked it up to just a norovirus). I had to use a lot of my paid sick days at work and PTO because I couldnt get out of bed for two weeks. I have always been a really open, honest guy with all of my partners and even with my boyfriends that I always urged to open up our relationships. I have always understood the stigma around being POZ and wondered what it would be like to have to disclose this information to any future potential partners and face rejection over my status. I accept negative guys not wanting to be with a positive person. I was never like that because I understood the science behind guys being undetectable and there being options available to reduce the risk of transmission like PrEP. Well, now I am at that point in life where I have no choice. My question to you all is this: Is it easier for you all to just disclose in your HIV status on things like GRINDR, Jackd, A4A, BarebackRT that you're POZ instead of "Ask Me", or do you face a lot of discrimination for it you think in the gay community, and better you think to just have that discussion with any potential sexual partners one on one in private? And also, to just anyone in general, like friends, family, etc.?

I begin taking my ARV's on March 23rd for anyone wondering, and for anyone wondering, I am indifferent to finding out that im positive. Not angry, not sad, not feeling sorry for myself. Also, im not happy about it either, of course, as I find it a pain to have to take medication every day and having to fill my body with poisons, drowning in passivity (which is why I quit taking PrEP a few months ago because it was making me really ill every night). I think the only reflection that really bothers me about finding out that im positive is having a sort of live, malignant, alien sort of thing inside me whose only purpose is to kill me and then die. But having said that, I dont fear death and understand that from the minute were born we are dying, and now that I have it, I have an even more diminished sense of fear about being completely free to be an even bigger slut than I ever was before. Hope this wasnt too long a read, and appreciate being able to share my story with a like-minded and open community. 

From the moment I found out I was Poz I've lived openly my friends , family and hooks all know my status. And yes I've had it listed on my hook up apps. Had a few douches that needed educated but other than that its been a good thing

[boypole]

i’m open about it in my personal life, and don’t discuss it in my professional life (as in, if someone asks, I will disclose but it’s not something I wear on a sleeve).

and if someone is bothered about it on sites like bbrt/manhunt, that’s on them. it’s been years since I’ve been on those sites though….in my case, I met a poz guy and we got married. i’ll save that story for another day.