An Autobiography

[NewcastleCloset]

This isn't fiction. I have decided to write down my journey up until now. How I became the way I am. How I risk taking poz cock as a closeted married man.  If I'm posting this in the wrong section please accept my apologies. I'm not sure a story all about me is worthy of bothering other sections of the forum. This is something I'm trying to get some pressure and maybe guilt off my chest. Being closeted I have nobody to talk to about this. Nobody knows any of what I'm about to type but me. And now you:

 

I'll start right at the beginning. I lost my virginity when I was  just old enough to be legal. This being my anal virginity. I slept with and lost my virginity to a girl at age 13. She was also 13. 

My parents were away for the weekend and I invited a random guy over from a website called Gaydar.co.uk. It used to be a great website but I'm not even sure if it exists any more. I wanted to suck my first dick. Had no plans on being fucked the first time. 

 

Anyway, the guy turned up around 1pm in the afternoon. I let him in. He was around 25 y/o. We went straight upstairs and I asked him what I should do. He told me to undress and get on my knees. I did. He was not fat but was a big guy. Tall and stocky. He got his cock out and dropped it right in my face. I recoiled. I was scared. The guy was not sympathetic as he sighed and looked impatient. I was nervous and knew there was no turning back. I leaned forward and opened my mouth. I remember the taste. I liked it and I could feel the oily pre cum lubricating my tongue. I had already tasted my own cum by this point but his was saltier, more bitter. I still loved the taste. I felt dirty and happy with what I was doing.  I was also shaking with nerves.  There's no way he couldn't tell.

 

I was sucking his dick for a long time. I can't even say how long but my knees were red. I daren't complain. He got rough and was forcing his dick down my throat and making me gag. Everytime I gagged he released a muted "ha". He was laughing at me. I started to feel defiant. I had never been treat this way. 

 

My defiance soon passed as he sat on the bed, put his hand under my armpit and FLUNG me with one arm on to the bed behind him. He lays on his back and told me to get at it. I sucked for what seemed like another half an hour. Once in a while his cock would throb strongly but he never came. I could feel pre-cum seeping out all the time. Pre-cum still makes my eyes roll back to this day because of this first time.

 

He asked me if I wanted to fuck. It looked easy in the pornos. I knew it would hurt a little but thought I could handle it. He had brought lube. He told me to bend over on the bed. I did. He fingered my ass. I was ok with this as I had experimented with my own fingers previously. After some prodding and loosening he lined up his dick and put it in slowly. I felt the pain immediately. I lurched forward and let out a painful squeal. He pulled me back by my hips. I should note that he was silent this whole time. He never said a word from the moment he put his cock in me til the moment he left. 

 

Anyway, he pushed in to me as I screamed in pain. He didn't thrust in fast, it was all very slow, but the pain was excruciating. Finally he was all the way in. I'd say about 6 inches and quite thick. When he was in he stayed there for about a minute. Still silent. I was still hurting, I thought the pain would be over quickly. He started slowly withdrawing and then pushing back in. I started crying. Not small sobs. Lots of tears, very loud crying. I begged him to stop. He didn't. Just silence as he fucked me and held my hips. I tried to fling myself forward but crashed down on to my stomach as he put his whole weight on top of me. Balls deep.  He sped up and started fucking me like I'd seen in the porn. I was still crying but it didn't hurt as much.  

 

He fucked me for around 15 minutes. Stopping once in a while. I knew it was to stop himself cumming. I asked for cum in my mouth and almost as soon as I finished my sentence he thrust hard and came in my ass. I said nothing.  I had stopped crying halfway through his rigorous smashing of my virgin hole but the degradation of him cumming in me when I said no. The loss of agency. I burst out crying again. He was just silent. He didn't have to say anything. We both knew what just happened.

 

He then pulled out, wiped his dick on my pillow, grinned at me and left. He had got in his car and drove away before I even got off the bed. 

 

I realise now I was raped. Somehow it didn't feel like it at the time. I knew I was in trouble when the thought of my rape made my cock hard. I was done for when I had my first wank...Thinking about my rape. This was only around a week later.

 

That was my introduction to being a sub bottom for men. I am still a very dominant top with Women and was always successful in the hunt for pussy. I would only seek cock when I couldn't get pussy but this all changed when I was a couple of years older, and cock became the main goal.

 

My next dick wasn't for two years. I wanted it so much but the trauma of my first encounter stayed with me. I would play with myself with gay porn all the time but stayed away from the real thing. I had a girlfriend, and my  next encounter with cock actually came because of her. 

 

Let me know if this is appropriate and if you want more. I'm aware I'm not a great writer. This really is just a journal up to now. I feel my story gets very interesting so hopefully you want to hear more of it.

 

Part 2 is linked here as it has straight sex. Further parts will be all gay and here in this thread. 

 

[negchaserlooking]

Please go on

[bottombehr]

Hot!

[Opensesame]

This is a real good read!! 

[RiskyMarc]

So hot, thank you.

[NewcastleCloset]

Part 2 here.

On to part 3.

 

So I'm 18. Unemployed and living on couches. This is when the cruising started. It was a baptism of fire. 

 

Theres a little place down by the river behind an arena in my city. It's quite a well known spot and I'd heard of it before. I decided to go check it out. 

As I slowly fumbled through bushes and trees I saw a figure in the dark face me. He was silent. I froze. I just stood and stared. I was about 6 metres away just standing, staring. It was a taller guy, shaved head, leather jacket. I'd say about 40. As I stared he took his dick out and stared slowly rubbing it. I walked over never taking my eyes of it. I had barely reached him when he took his hand and placed it like a claw on top of my head and pushed me down roughly on to my knees. I just got straight to it. 

 

I'd taken cock before as you know but this was going to be a real lesson in how to take it. He started fucking my face as soon as my lips touched his tight foreskin. Just grabbed my head and rammed it down my throat. Fucking me head like a pussy. I have to admit I was quite distressed. Out of breath, coughing, gagging and slobbering all over his cock and the more I gagged the harder he fucked. His cock was average. Not small and I couldn't take it all. I'd say about 7".

 

It was all very hurried and impersonal. He suddenly stopped and in one swift movement pulled his shaft out of the cunt on my face, grabbed me under my arm, pulled me up and flung me sternly against a cement wall we were next to.

 

Spun me round, pulled down my jeans, spat on his finger and pressed in to my whole with force. Got his finger in down the the knuckle and then rapidly moved it up and down, side to side. He only did it for one quick moment then pulled it out, spat on his hand, wiped it up my asshole and put his dick in. It was all so quick I hardly knew what was happening. I'm talking from being on my knees with my eyes watering choking on his dick to being against a wall with said dick in my hole in around 30 seconds.

 

Thankfully he didn't just thrust his cock in. He started with a slow rhythm then got faster and faster. It was during this fucking that I knew I loved dick. After my first two shaky encounters this was the real thing. I was rock hard the whole time. Leaking on to the hard, cold dirty floor.

 

I don't know how long he fucked me but it was hard and consistent. Maybe 10 minutes. He didn't stop or slow to catch his breath. 

Finally he thrust deep and grunted. I felt the force of his cum against my spot. I almost came but didn't quite get there. 

We stood in place for a moment. I could feel my hole pulsing with his dick. 

Like everything he had done up until then, he pulled his cock out like a bolt of lightening. I stung as my hole was surprised and resized in a second.

I wondered why he was in such a rush. He was also silent the wholw time. Not a word. He just used me.

He spun me to face him pushed me back on my knees and rubbed his slimy, beautiful cock on my face then back in to my mouth. I could see as soon as he spun around why he was so hurried. There must have been 10 guys watching. My hairs were on end. Nervous doesn't describe what I was feeling. 

 

This sounds like I was going to get gangfucked doesn't it? You'd be right in thinking that. I thought that. But thats not what happened. A couple of other guys had shuffled over and I had 2 cocks in my face and one in my hand when a younger guy interrupted us. He was very confident and others seemed to know him. He stopped everything, pulled me up and dragged me away with authority. I was still in shock I think as I just went with the flow. 

 

I'd soon find out who this wiry, fair young guy in his early 20's was. He's also a very important part of why my story is in the bugchasing section.

[oinker]

Sounds like this is going to be interesting

[negchaserlooking]

Part 3 - big tick

[BB-8uk]

23 hours ago, NewcastleCloset said:

Part 2 here.

On to part 3.

 

So I'm 18. Unemployed and living on couches. This is when the cruising started. It was a baptism of fire. 

 

Theres a little place down by the river behind an arena in my city. It's quite a well known spot and I'd heard of it before. I decided to go check it out. 

As I slowly fumbled through bushes and trees I saw a figure in the dark face me. He was silent. I froze. I just stood and stared. I was about 6 metres away just standing, staring. It was a taller guy, shaved head, leather jacket. I'd say about 40. As I stared he took his dick out and stared slowly rubbing it. I walked over never taking my eyes of it. I had barely reached him when he took his hand and placed it like a claw on top of my head and pushed me down roughly on to my knees. I just got straight to it. 

 

I'd taken cock before as you know but this was going to be a real lesson in how to take it. He started fucking my face as soon as my lips touched his tight foreskin. Just grabbed my head and rammed it down my throat. Fucking me head like a pussy. I have to admit I was quite distressed. Out of breath, coughing, gagging and slobbering all over his cock and the more I gagged the harder he fucked. His cock was average. Not small and I couldn't take it all. I'd say about 7".

 

It was all very hurried and impersonal. He suddenly stopped and in one swift movement pulled his shaft out of the cunt on my face, grabbed me under my arm, pulled me up and flung me sternly against a cement wall we were next to.

 

Spun me round, pulled down my jeans, spat on his finger and pressed in to my whole with force. Got his finger in down the the knuckle and then rapidly moved it up and down, side to side. He only did it for one quick moment then pulled it out, spat on his hand, wiped it up my asshole and put his dick in. It was all so quick I hardly knew what was happening. I'm talking from being on my knees with my eyes watering choking on his dick to being against a wall with said dick in my hole in around 30 seconds.

 

Thankfully he didn't just thrust his cock in. He started with a slow rhythm then got faster and faster. It was during this fucking that I knew I loved dick. After my first two shaky encounters this was the real thing. I was rock hard the whole time. Leaking on to the hard, cold dirty floor.

 

I don't know how long he fucked me but it was hard and consistent. Maybe 10 minutes. He didn't stop or slow to catch his breath. 

Finally he thrust deep and grunted. I felt the force of his cum against my spot. I almost came but didn't quite get there. 

We stood in place for a moment. I could feel my hole pulsing with his dick. 

Like everything he had done up until then, he pulled his cock out like a bolt of lightening. I stung as my hole was surprised and resized in a second.

I wondered why he was in such a rush. He was also silent the wholw time. Not a word. He just used me.

He spun me to face him pushed me back on my knees and rubbed his slimy, beautiful cock on my face then back in to my mouth. I could see as soon as he spun around why he was so hurried. There must have been 10 guys watching. My hairs were on end. Nervous doesn't describe what I was feeling. 

 

This sounds like I was going to get gangfucked doesn't it? You'd be right in thinking that. I thought that. But thats not what happened. A couple of other guys had shuffled over and I had 2 cocks in my face and one in my hand when a younger guy interrupted us. He was very confident and others seemed to know him. He stopped everything, pulled me up and dragged me away with authority. I was still in shock I think as I just went with the flow. 

 

I'd soon find out who this wiry, fair young guy in his early 20's was. He's also a very important part of why my story is in the bugchasing section.

Love this story! 
I will definitely have to check it behind the arena will definitely need to investigate here. Xx

[Bbikercub]

Enjoying this. Had some good fucks down the arena, been bred and also bred a few guys down there myself.

 

Hottest was a taxi driver who wanted to fuck me with a rubber, I said I'd prefer without, he didn't last longer than 3-4 mins but it was a really good hard carnal fuck. I could tell he just wanted to breed and get out of there.

I sucked the spunk off his cock after he was done too. Ah, memories!!