This is why I hate using A4A

[badubydo]

I posted what I’m into.  Stated I cannot host (even says it in my profile), yet 95% of people still ask me to host. 
 

I’m being straight up. I’m not looking for a relationship. To be a “cuddle buddy” or “someone special.” I’m not into guys younger then 40 years. My profile name is Hot_bottom for fucks sake. 
 

And then people like him message me, talk shit and block me. All because his feelings were hurt by words. 🤷🏼‍♂️

 

 

[backdoorjimmy]

Dude fuck those assholes! (or in this case, don't fuck them because they're assholes).

When I'm cruising for cock on grindr I make it clear I'm a total bottom and not interested in topping but people still hit me up saying they want me to top for them. I just move along because the serious guys will want to hook up and the guys that are trolling for nudes will either block me once I send them or try to string me along until it gets old for both of us.

[Close2MyBro]

37 minutes ago, badubydo said:

I posted what I’m into.  Stated I cannot host (even says it in my profile), yet 95% of people still ask me to host. 
 

I’m being straight up. I’m not looking for a relationship. To be a “cuddle buddy” or “someone special.” I’m not into guys younger then 40 years. My profile name is Hot_bottom for fucks sake. 
 

And then people like him message me, talk shit and block me. All because his feelings were hurt by words. 🤷🏼‍♂️

 

 

 

Too many people have been brainwashed to be emotional about everything. Very few people actually think before getting emotional to realize that what they're getting emotional about isn't worth the energy.

[Close2MyBro]

19 minutes ago, backdoorjimmy said:

Dude fuck those assholes! (or in this case, don't fuck them because they're assholes).

When I'm cruising for cock on grindr I make it clear I'm a total bottom and not interested in topping but people still hit me up saying they want me to top for them. I just move along because the serious guys will want to hook up and the guys that are trolling for nudes will either block me once I send them or try to string me along until it gets old for both of us.

I found that most people on grindr don't even read your profile. I have people on there asking me for a face pic when there is one in my profile already.

[akula]

sounds like a fucking bible thumper

[badubydo]

It’s ridiculous. If my profile doesn’t suit you, fine. Go message somebody else. A4A is not a dating site. Not when they advertise porn, sell sex related product and allow x-rated photos/videos. 
 

I’ve had a few people message me like about my profile, and again they’re just made because they’re not my type, or because I won’t cuddle as listen to their emotional bs. 

[Piggyybttmm]

Lmao happens to me all the time. I just laugh because it's funny that they're that bothered that they have to take time they'll never get back to message me that foolishness

[bihairy]

I get guys asking me to fuck them with condoms and host.  I can't host and I say so on the profile. I also say I bareback.  If not into bareback not a match.  Do you think they read this?

NOPE.  I swipe left and if they get nasty which some of them do, I block and move on!

[akula]

i dumped a4a ages ago it sucks

[Fuzzypup]

All the hookup sites suck anymore. I'll set up an ad about "anon bttm for cock, can't host, locked in chastity, so don't even ask about me topping" 

 

And no matter where I post it, I'll always get the same responses.

"Can I suck you?"

"I/we are looking for some long term friend"

"Mutual top4top?"

"Do you host?"

"Do you want a bottom?"

 

Like fuck sake people, learn how to read! Ive given up on any and all hookup app for in my area. If I want dick, I have to get a hotel 1.5 hours away in the nearest "big city". 

 

 

[BootmanLA]

17 hours ago, bihairy said:

I get guys asking me to fuck them with condoms and host.  I can't host and I say so on the profile. I also say I bareback.  If not into bareback not a match.  Do you think they read this?

NOPE.  I swipe left and if they get nasty which some of them do, I block and move on!

The only thing I might (gently, I hope) point out is that saying you bareback is not the same as saying you ONLY bareback. I know guys who prefer bareback but will use a condom if requested and they want the other guy bad enough. So *if* your profile isn't clear that it's "bareback ONLY", maybe that might improve your results. 

The hosting thing is harder to excuse, although some people assume that means "it's hard to find a time when it would work to do it here" and they're hoping this might be one of the rare times. If the issue is more permanent - ie "my partner and I agreed that all outside sex happens outside our house", then again, maybe a clearer statement ("I do not host at home; please don't ask") might cut out all but the terminally clueless.

[BootmanLA]

16 hours ago, Fuzzypup said:

All the hookup sites suck anymore. I'll set up an ad about "anon bttm for cock, can't host, locked in chastity, so don't even ask about me topping" 

 

And no matter where I post it, I'll always get the same responses.

"Can I suck you?"

"I/we are looking for some long term friend"

"Mutual top4top?"

"Do you host?"

"Do you want a bottom?"

 

Like fuck sake people, learn how to read! Ive given up on any and all hookup app for in my area. If I want dick, I have to get a hotel 1.5 hours away in the nearest "big city". 

I was with you, mostly, until the part about "nearest big city". In my experience, guys in smaller towns are much more accustomed to compromising on things because of a lack of options - and that applies whether you're shopping for men or paper towels. That doesn't mean *you* need to compromise; it's just that other local guys may be used to doing things that are not their first choice, in order to experience *some* form of M2M interaction. 

Again, not suggesting you need to compromise, but being understanding about the fact that most people in your circumstances probably *do* have to compromise might make your stress level go down a notch.

[Fuzzypup]

7 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

I was with you, mostly, until the part about "nearest big city". In my experience, guys in smaller towns are much more accustomed to compromising on things because of a lack of options - and that applies whether you're shopping for men or paper towels. That doesn't mean *you* need to compromise; it's just that other local guys may be used to doing things that are not their first choice, in order to experience *some* form of M2M interaction. 

Again, not suggesting you need to compromise, but being understanding about the fact that most people in your circumstances probably *do* have to compromise might make your stress level go down a notch.

You're right I'm the compromise part, except I've been trying to comprise to get anyone close to me to have some fun. But most of them are the "discreet, older, married bottoms" who can only do certain things, at very specific times, and usually way outside of any scope of what you wanted to do. But that's just my experience

 

[BootmanLA]

1 minute ago, Fuzzypup said:

You're right I'm the compromise part, except I've been trying to comprise to get anyone close to me to have some fun. But most of them are the "discreet, older, married bottoms" who can only do certain things, at very specific times, and usually way outside of any scope of what you wanted to do. But that's just my experience

 

And I agree - you shouldn't *have* to compromise what you want, if it's important enough to you! The solution you have - ignore locals, avoid the apps, and go to another city when you really need it - works for you, apparently, and there's nothing wrong with it. My only issue is with dismissing the locals, who may not have those options, as being unable to read. I think that's gratuitously cruel. 

[ejaculaTe]

1 minute ago, BootmanLA said:

My only issue is with dismissing the locals, who may not have those options, as being unable to read. I think that's gratuitously cruel. 

But if one is asked the same questions -- e.g., can you host, do you top, what are you into -- by the same guy (or guys) over a length of time, it suggests poor reading comprehension or a poor memory on the part of the questioner. One's response then need not be mean, but it can show a degree of exasperation. In those situations, my response has been "you asked me that last week, and the answer is the same. Have a good evening."