“Bat In Your League”- The Fallout

[BlackDude]

Possible Incoherent Rant Coming:

First off I totally agree with the “bat in your league” concept. I believe everyone has the right to preferences and should be able to express them anyway they feel like it, even rudely. Just about every sector of our society as a ranking people and if you feel somebody is below your level (in this case not hot enough) you should not feel obligated to deal with them socially or sexually. (I always add the disclaimer is see this more from average guys than good looking/successful ones). 

The problem is I am now reaching age where let’s just say a lot of the “it” guys are not in the league that they used to be in. The guys who spent more time in the club instead of the classroom, the guys bartending or barista retirement didn’t quite work out the way they thought, or that five day a week routine just doesn’t work anymore; it has Caught up to them as something will catch up to all of us eventually. My problem is be consistent and don’t whine about it If you no longer live up to the high standard you placed on everyone else.

 

I don’t know if it’s Covid or what, But recently I have had a lot of guys hitting me up who had no Interest or former flakes. They were “white only,” friends only (pretending like they didn’t fuck), non responsive or a bunch of other gay hypergamy BS. 
 

I guess point is If you did not want guys in your sexual and social prime, don’t expect them to you want to theirs. And Don’t go online whining or responding all emotionally or rudely to the same treatment you gave. Remember to “bat in your league.” 

Rant Over. 

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

I think you could consider it Karma. I’ve found a lot of the guys who were fit and attractive (and who knew it) who wouldn’t give me the time of day in the past (some actually went out of the way to message how unattractive they found me and how I shouldn’t be online looking), these same guys now have actually messaged me looking to meet.

Whilst they may still be physically in shape and still be attractive, they have matured and now aren’t able to have the pick of the crop that they were used to. For me however, I have a long memory, so when they do message me they get told exactly where they can go shove themselves (and not near me).

For my self esteem I wouldn’t touch them with a barge pole, if I wasn’t good enough for them in the past, why degrade myself for being good enough for them now, just because they can’t get the ones they are really lusting over.

Sorry if that turned into a bit of a rant, it’s just something which has pissed me off with a lot of gay/bi/curious guys over the years.

[BlackDude]

1 minute ago, WelshBBCigarFuck said:

I think you could consider it Karma. I’ve found a lot of the guys who were fit and attractive (and who knew it) who wouldn’t give me the time of day in the past (some actually went out of the way to message how unattractive they found me and how I shouldn’t be online looking), these same guys now have actually messaged me looking to meet.

Whilst they may still be physically in shape and still be attractive, they have matured and now aren’t able to have the pick of the crop that they were used to. For me however, I have a long memory, so when they do message me they get told exactly where they can go shove themselves (and not near me).

For my self esteem I wouldn’t touch them with a barge pole, if I wasn’t good enough for them in the past, why degrade myself for being good enough for them now, just because they can’t get the ones they are really lusting over.

Sorry if that turned into a bit of a rant, it’s just something which has pissed me off with a lot of gay/bi/curious guys over the years.

Not to hijack your post but older “bi curious” guys are some of the worst. Most of the time, that just means “I’m pretending I’m not fucking guys because you’re not hot enough.” 

[AirmaxUK]

6 minutes ago, WelshBBCigarFuck said:

I think you could consider it Karma. I’ve found a lot of the guys who were fit and attractive (and who knew it) who wouldn’t give me the time of day in the past (some actually went out of the way to message how unattractive they found me and how I shouldn’t be online looking), these same guys now have actually messaged me looking to meet.

Whilst they may still be physically in shape and still be attractive, they have matured and now aren’t able to have the pick of the crop that they were used to. For me however, I have a long memory, so when they do message me they get told exactly where they can go shove themselves (and not near me).

For my self esteem I wouldn’t touch them with a barge pole, if I wasn’t good enough for them in the past, why degrade myself for being good enough for them now, just because they can’t get the ones they are really lusting over.

Sorry if that turned into a bit of a rant, it’s just something which has pissed me off with a lot of gay/bi/curious guys over the years.

Turn the clock back 10-12 years and I was 40-50kg heavier than now. Some of the cruelty I experienced in the gay community was frankly unbelievable. I lost a bunch of weight and with it gained a little confidence. When I was out and about, what was interesting was the same people who had been cruel before now had an expectation that I would play with them. I too have a long memory and sent them packing, even if it meant missing out. Unless you've been through receiving it, it is hard to know, the amount of damage a cruel comment can make. Although I'm not looking for revenge, there has to be some restitution for past bad behaviour.     

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

2 minutes ago, AirmaxAndy said:

Turn the clock back 10-12 years and I was 40-50kg heavier than now. Some of the cruelty I experienced in the gay community was frankly unbelievable. I lost a bunch of weight and with it gained a little confidence. When I was out and about, what was interesting was the same people who had been cruel before now had an expectation that I would play with them. I too have a long memory and sent them packing, even if it meant missing out. Unless you've been through receiving it, it is hard to know, the amount of damage a cruel comment can make. Although I'm not looking for revenge, there has to be some restitution for past bad behaviour.     

It’s similar for me, I have always been stocky (15/16st) and hairy, so quite bearish, and because I wasn’t the 6-pack owning, tanned, muscle god they were looking for I would get some quite derogatory remarks. I do like to think that what I don’t have in looks I make up for in intellect, so for every derogatory remark they had a suitable comeback (sometimes along the lines of “shame your IQ is smaller than your cock” or “when you get older and aren’t as attractive as you think you are now, you’ll realise exactly what a shallow little bitch you are, especially when you get snubbed by the guys that think they are better than you - karma is a bitch and you reap what you sow”.

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

25 minutes ago, BlackDude said:

Not to hijack your post but older “bi curious” guys are some of the worst. Most of the time, that just means “I’m pretending I’m not fucking guys because you’re not hot enough.” 

Also I find a lot of the bi/curious gym bunnies can be some of the most shallow and rude guys going, to the extent that if one was to message me I would politely decline and suggest they message someone else - they are definitely a “type” who I have neither the energy or inclination to deal with and, even if there are exceptions to the type in some circumstances, these days I can’t be bothered in giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Edited July 8, 2021 by WelshBBCigarFuck

[jimazoid04]

I've always been a chub and that will never change. I go on most hookup sites and like to look/chat when i can. When i see someone's profile that sounds like they are interested in a guy like me, i'll message. Most of the times I either get no reply or blocked.

Same with guys I KNOW 1000% are out of my league. I like to send compliments to people that I know don't want me, but I like to just say something. This also almost every time ends up in the messages being deleted with no reply.

I've basically accepted it, but what pisses me off to NO END is another person initiates a convo... you reply... and either nothing back or deleted/blocked...

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

I’ve played with guys ranging from slim to very large, the build doesn’t bother me, if they are sleazy and horny, that’s the important thing. I have had fuck buds from teens to 60’s, neg or poz, as long as they are horny and up for it, that’s the main thing. I’d rather go for someone who is not stuck up on looks or build  and who just rates themselves as normal or average than someone who rates themselves as handsome.

[Leather69]

I'm with AirmaxUK and WelshBBcigarfuck with this.. there are a lot of younger guys with great bodies now casting their net more.. but someone who calls themselves a boy @ 56 has to be a real turnoff. The chinese and their virus have really upset the long established "norm". have fun and enjoy guys..

[Guest WelshBBCigarFuck]

2 minutes ago, Leather69 said:

I'm with Airmaxandy and WelshBBcigarfuck with this.. there are a lot of younger guys with great bodies now casting their net more.. but someone who calls themselves a boy @ 56 has to be a real turnoff. The chinese and their virus have really upset the long established "norm". have fun and enjoy guys..

It may well be a case that “supply and demand” has also triggered the guys that consider themselves better than others to “lower their standards”, which is another reason I would decline them. I have never liked the idea of being a “pity fuck”, would rather go without.

[blackrobe]

8 hours ago, BlackDude said:

Possible Incoherent Rant Coming:

[...]

Rant Over. 

When we are rejected, for whatever reason, we can be hurt. Sometimes very deeply. Its clear these past rejections have hurt and affected you very deeply, as this is a variation of the same "rant" I've seen you post several times here on BZ.  I'm sorry that you've felt the sting of these rejections so keenly and so often in your life. 

I've been at a loss on how to respond to you each time I see you post on this. You see, I get my own share of this kind of rejection all the time, and have no small amount of empathy for your experience. 

It brought to mind a Zen Koan that I read many years ago that has helped me. This is it:

Quote

 

A senior monk and a junior monk were traveling together. At one point, they came to a river with a strong current. As the monks were preparing to cross the river, they saw a very young and beautiful woman also attempting to cross. The young woman asked if they could help her cross to the other side.

The two monks glanced at one another because they had taken vows not to touch a woman.

Then, without a word, the older monk picked up the woman, carried her across the river, placed her gently on the other side, and carried on his journey.

The younger monk couldn’t believe what had just happened. After rejoining his companion, he was speechless, and an hour passed without a word between them.

Two more hours passed, then three, finally the younger monk could contain himself any longer, and blurted out “As monks, we are not permitted a woman, how could you then carry that woman on your shoulders?”

The older monk looked at him and replied, “Brother, I set her down on the other side of the river, why are you still carrying her?”

 

I found that I was carrying around these past hurts, and holding onto resentment for the people who had hurt me. All that did was magnify how hurt I felt, until that became a kind of grievance. Eventually, I realized that I was letting each person who rejected me live rent-free in my head to prolong the pain of their rejection. By holding onto my resentment about how I was treated I was only hurting myself even more.

So now I try not to hold onto the hurt and resentment I feel for how I'm treated. I "leave it by the river" as soon as I can.  That's what has worked for me.

[BlackDude]

On 7/8/2021 at 7:54 AM, blackrobe said:

When we are rejected, for whatever reason, we can be hurt. Sometimes very deeply. Its clear these past rejections have hurt and affected you very deeply, as this is a variation of the same "rant" I've seen you post several times here on BZ.  I'm sorry that you've felt the sting of these rejections so keenly and so often in your life. 

I've been at a loss on how to respond to you each time I see you post on this. You see, I get my own share of this kind of rejection all the time, and have no small amount of empathy for your experience. 

It brought to mind a Zen Koan that I read many years ago that has helped me. This is it:

I found that I was carrying around these past hurts, and holding onto resentment for the people who had hurt me. All that did was magnify how hurt I felt, until that became a kind of grievance. Eventually, I realized that I was letting each person who rejected me live rent-free in my head to prolong the pain of their rejection. By holding onto my resentment about how I was treated I was only hurting myself even more.

So now I try not to hold onto the hurt and resentment I feel for how I'm treated. I "leave it by the river" as soon as I can.  That's what has worked for me.

I appreciate you reading my posts, but I have posted many things on here and taking some of them to draw a conclusion or do some psycho analysis on me isn’t fair (to be PC) Just as it wouldn’t be for most members on this board. Would you go to a member who consistently posts under the PNP or father/son topics and quote a proverb to them?

 

 I don’t think I am the only person on here who has posted about some of their negative experiences. If you think it’s a different variation of the same rant, that’s fine. If I see a topic that doesn’t interest me, I usually move on.

I, like most people on this board, Use this as a place to share certain experiences or I get advice certain things that “normal” society would not understand. And while I commend you for having it all figured out, I still believe I am a person who has a lot to learn about this community and I value hearing the opinion and thoughts of others and learning from them. 

Edited July 10, 2021 by BlackDude

[blackrobe]

9 hours ago, BlackDude said:

I appreciate you reading my posts, but I have posted many things on here and taking some of them to draw a conclusion or do some psycho analysis on me isn’t fair (to be PC) Just as it wouldn’t be for most members on this board. Would you go to a member who consistently posts under the PNP or father/son topics and quote a proverb to them?

 I don’t think I am the only person on here who has posted about some of their negative experiences. If you think it’s a different variation of the same rant, that’s fine. If I see a topic that doesn’t interest me, I usually move on.

I, like most people on this board, Use this as a place to share certain experiences or I get advice certain things that “normal” society would not understand. And while I commend you for having it all figured out, I still believe I am a person who has a lot to learn about this community and I value hearing the opinion and thoughts of others and learning from them. 

Fair enough. I saw what looked like familiar persistent pain and wanted to offer empathy and the relief of something that helped me, not judgement. Thanks for letting me know its not necessary or helpful to you.

[EricX]

On 7/8/2021 at 1:52 AM, BlackDude said:

Possible Incoherent Rant Coming:

First off I totally agree with the “bat in your league” concept. I believe everyone has the right to preferences and should be able to express them anyway they feel like it, even rudely. Just about every sector of our society as a ranking people and if you feel somebody is below your level (in this case not hot enough) you should not feel obligated to deal with them socially or sexually. (I always add the disclaimer is see this more from average guys than good looking/successful ones). 

The problem is I am now reaching age where let’s just say a lot of the “it” guys are not in the league that they used to be in. The guys who spent more time in the club instead of the classroom, the guys bartending or barista retirement didn’t quite work out the way they thought, or that five day a week routine just doesn’t work anymore; it has Caught up to them as something will catch up to all of us eventually. My problem is be consistent and don’t whine about it If you no longer live up to the high standard you placed on everyone else.

 

I don’t know if it’s Covid or what, But recently I have had a lot of guys hitting me up who had no Interest or former flakes. They were “white only,” friends only (pretending like they didn’t fuck), non responsive or a bunch of other gay hypergamy BS. 
 

I guess point is If you did not want guys in your sexual and social prime, don’t expect them to you want to theirs. And Don’t go online whining or responding all emotionally or rudely to the same treatment you gave. Remember to “bat in your league.” 

Rant Over. 

I understand your viewpoint, and I think you are right about this more times than you are wrong. But in some cases growing means adding maturity, not just years. I will usually engage them to some extent to see if they have become “woke” or are just horny. 

[DarkroomTaker]

"Youths a Mask and it don't last.

A few years ago, I lusted after a Jock, he used to not let me touch him. He was so hot. Anyway, I was in this sauna and he came in late, very empty, noone else. He let me suck him, lick his ass, body everything, he was ok, quite chatty even .

A few weeks later, he was in, it was busy, he lorded it around the place, I went to touch him, he moved , laughed and said in front of some blokes. I am not interested in old guys, especially fat hairy ones. Yes I am beary. I wanted to crawl out.

Moving on a few years. I recognised a real chubby balding bloke (him) who had obviously let himself go. He made an advancement on me. I was polite and said. No thanks, I have just cum.

I hadn't  and would have still done him, but did not want to, long memories are good. However, I was respectful.