What's the Matter with (18+) Kids These Days

[BlackDude]

1 hour ago, TotalTop said:

 Then when you ask them a question only someone local would know they do not reply.

If I suspect that, I always ask “what neighborhood you in?” The locals have names they use or areas they identify that can’t be determined based on Mapquest. 

[Assmunch]

I remember when I was younger, in my 20s I was happy to go home with older men if they were attractive to me.  But I also had attention from rude older guys that I didn’t find attractive and unfortunately I had to learn the hard way (not quite sure if it’s called rape when you just give up resistance and let them have what they want so you can run after) that opening the door just a crack by being nice after making it clear you aren’t interested… well that CAN get you into a really bad situation.  Not that it always will, but I know I never wanted to take the chance again.  So after one polite denial I stopped being polite and nice.  And I learned ‘NO’ is said in a LOT of different ways.  Allowing someone to say no, or that they aren’t interested is as much a part of the game as the hunt.  You’re better off not hooking up with a junior who is an asshole… my experience is they make awful sex.   
 

Attractive guys have always had a chip on their shoulder.  Today’s youth are no different.  And the young today are brash, blunt, direct and see no reason to hide behind archaic social graces.  Back when I was young, a good reputation was important.   Today, it’s notoriety and a bad reputation is just as good as a nice one.  I think that’s really amazing, they are actually making their world into what they want.  It doesn’t make us older guys feel any better, but it’s not for us anyway.  

[ErosWired]

21 hours ago, Brittain02 said:

A lot of this just seems to stem from the bitterness of being rejected by someone much younger than you.

Actually, no. A lot of this stems from the degradation of civil society caused by the rise of online social culture that allows people to anonymously interact and indulge the worst aspects of their character without consequence. People from an older generation developed their character during a time when people knew how to treat one another in order to get along and make society function. Young people now are forming their character in echo chambers full of people who screech that nobody has to play by any rules, and ironically complain that anyone who complains about anything is an asshole. Which means, of course, that anyone who disagrees is an asshole. And since nobody is going to agree on everything, everybody becomes an asshole, and why should you be nice to an asshole?

So we arrive at a culture in which no one feels obliged to be nice to anyone, are affronted if it’s suggested that they haven’t, and rise in arms if it’s suggested that they must.

Nice society of assholes you’re building for yourselves. It doesn’t encourage openmindedness and acceptance as you’re suggesting - it promotes tribalism, polarization and social schism, and we’re watching it tear our nations apart - the “United” States especially - as we watch.

So, no, it isn’t just about butthurt because some twentysomething told us no. It’s because the twentysomething has either forgotten how to behave like a decent human being, or never learned in the first place. I raised two of them, and I made damn sure they, at least, understood the difference.

[BlackDude]

12 hours ago, Assmunch said:

Attractive guys have always had a chip on their shoulder.  Today’s youth are no different.  And the young today are brash, blunt, direct and see no reason to hide behind archaic social graces.

I found most attractive to be pretty cool actually. If we are using a scale, I’m talking about guys 8-10 (good looks, stable financially, socially, etc.) I’ve had good luck with those guys. They are totally secure. For example, we have a guy in my town who’s been in some major label gay porn. When he’s online, no hassle, I can go over and breed him. Total stud and a sweetheart. We had a super hot guy show up in our cruising spot a few months ago in a $100k car. We fucked him six ways to Sunday behind the restrooms. He was hella cool
 

It’s the average guys that have a chip. Their constant need for validation is exhausting. They always believe they are one step away, one job away, one friend/FB away from being THAT guy. 
 

Not so attractive or “less desirable” guys are usually know who they are and have accepted it. So called nerds, sketch guys, losers or they guy with a little bit of a gut often turns out to be the better fucks. They get right down to business, almost as if to hurry before you change your mind. 
 

Im speaking in generalities of course, but that’s just my observation! 

[ErosWired]

6 hours ago, BlackDude said:

It’s the average guys that have a chip. Their constant need for validation is exhausting.

^ There’s something to this, definitely. Insecurity is an ugly thing. I was never one of the Beautiful People (though mercifully I’m not quite Quasimodo either) and I always knew there wasn’t any point in trying to play their game. So I’ve never given much thought to whether or not anyone found me ‘hot’ to look at, I just parade around naked as though it doesn’t matter to anyone else either.

The thing is, though, I find that because I don’t give much thought about how I look, I don’t pay that much attention to how anyone else looks either. I’m not comparing myself to anyone else, so I end up not comparing them to each other either.

Thus, I’ll fuck anybody. 😀

[hntnhole]

20 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Actually, no.

As usual, well said, ErosWired.  It gets tiring to put up with these Gen-"nothing but me" creatures, but what else are we going to do?  The way I see it, all I can do is maintain my standards, and avoid interacting in any serious way with these kids so eager to demonstrate their supposed, assumed aura of superiority.  I might point out that BZ is the only "social media" website I participate in these days, since there are some men on here that actually do think about the greater "we".  

[BannedWord]

On 2/23/2022 at 11:31 AM, ErosWired said:

Actually, no. A lot of this stems from the degradation of civil society caused by the rise of online social culture that allows people to anonymously interact and indulge the worst aspects of their character without consequence. People from an older generation developed their character during a time when people knew how to treat one another in order to get along and make society function. Young people now are forming their character in echo chambers full of people who screech that nobody has to play by any rules, and ironically complain that anyone who complains about anything is an asshole. Which means, of course, that anyone who disagrees is an asshole. And since nobody is going to agree on everything, everybody becomes an asshole, and why should you be nice to an asshole?

So we arrive at a culture in which no one feels obliged to be nice to anyone, are affronted if it’s suggested that they haven’t, and rise in arms if it’s suggested that they must.

Nice society of assholes you’re building for yourselves. It doesn’t encourage openmindedness and acceptance as you’re suggesting - it promotes tribalism, polarization and social schism, and we’re watching it tear our nations apart - the “United” States especially - as we watch.

So, no, it isn’t just about butthurt because some twentysomething told us no. It’s because the twentysomething has either forgotten how to behave like a decent human being, or never learned in the first place. I raised two of them, and I made damn sure they, at least, understood the difference.

Bravo @ErosWired!  It's probably appropriate that I refer to it as "Anti-social Media" because it actually creates environments where such enmity can bloom and flourish amidst the attention of getting a crowd to support it. There was a great writing from Noam Chomsky on this long before all of this happened -- when I think of it, I'll cite the reference.

We've created a society of trolls. We've abandoned and stifled civil discussions in favor of flame wars. Espouse another point of view that varies from the accepted narrative and you're somehow branded as a 'racist' or some other irrational term that just shuts down any intelligent discussion. People have suddenly begun to feel emblazoned to be keyboard warriors and not recognize there is another person on the other side of the words who deserves basic civility. 

"Those social networks, there's something sad about them…. It's like a talkative mirror where people talk to themselves." - Karl Lagerfeld

I've been totally trolled for civil activism that accused me of anti-Semitism (because their core arguments couldn't pass muster or scrutiny). This was before people started throwing around racism, or even before Whoopi claimed that the Jews weren't a race. It didn't hurt so much as it actually detracted from the correct narrative and that truly pissed me off more than someone just talking. Thankfully, there are good lawyers for those things, and people use them.  

But to the point, it's less about anyone being butthurt, and more about just the complete ignorance of people (and you can use any definition of that word interchangeably to the same outcome).

[BBBxCumDumpster]

On 2/23/2022 at 11:31 AM, ErosWired said:

Actually, no. A lot of this stems from the degradation of civil society caused by the rise of online social culture that allows people to anonymously interact and indulge the worst aspects of their character without consequence. People from an older generation developed their character during a time when people knew how to treat one another in order to get along and make society function. Young people now are forming their character in echo chambers full of people who screech that nobody has to play by any rules, and ironically complain that anyone who complains about anything is an asshole. Which means, of course, that anyone who disagrees is an asshole. And since nobody is going to agree on everything, everybody becomes an asshole, and why should you be nice to an asshole?

So we arrive at a culture in which no one feels obliged to be nice to anyone, are affronted if it’s suggested that they haven’t, and rise in arms if it’s suggested that they must.

Nice society of assholes you’re building for yourselves. It doesn’t encourage openmindedness and acceptance as you’re suggesting - it promotes tribalism, polarization and social schism, and we’re watching it tear our nations apart - the “United” States especially - as we watch.

So, no, it isn’t just about butthurt because some twentysomething told us no. It’s because the twentysomething has either forgotten how to behave like a decent human being, or never learned in the first place. I raised two of them, and I made damn sure they, at least, understood the difference.

Eros Wired, I say to you what I say to all hands on parents.  Thanks for your contributions.

I think a lot of problems with 20 somethings stem from a lack of education at school and home.  The kids don't learn social skills. They sit in front of computers all day and phones and e-gadgets the rest of the time.  As a result, they don't learn empathy, social or conversational skills. Instead they speak the reductive language of texting. Lol. STFU. LMFAO.

In school systems where learning to write cursive is too much of a hassle, their language skills continue to degenerate.  The youth in this country ranks in the twenties in math and science, but  most students in this country actually believe they rank number one.  With poor writing and math skills, they lack an understanding of both tone and abstract and analytical thinking.  (My 20 something nephew, otherwise an excellent kid, said something to my older sister as if she were his peer.  As I predicted, she hit the roof.)

Despite the poor skills, these kids graduate, creating a breathtaking sense of entitlement.  They feel they should be given what we have earned.  Not only are many 20 somethings toxic, not all, but many, but they are also utterly uninteresting.  And lousy fucks too.

[wood]

I don’t think anything is exactly “wrong” with them, it’s just that life has become easier and less underground. 
 

think of it another way. It’s now completely possible to have an open life as a gay man in the vast majority of the US, and many other parts of the world, with a partner, and just “live” 

two incomes, no kids unless they want them, and the ability to do what they want. Prep and modern treatment has made HIV a very preventable or manageable issue, and if they want to have lots of random sex they can with far less repercussions. 
 

living single even with a good job is expensive and a lot more work. You get gay men have just adapted to the changes. 
 

Additionally despite what many on this site think the vast majority of people don’t want to deal with STI’s all the time, or drug addiction just in the name of sex for those who PNP. Also, people just generally grow up as they age and not having to deal with issues of hiding their identity has made things generally much easier. 
 

has this changed the dynamic, oh for sure. And it’s also unfortunately lead to the demise of bathhouses and other institutions gays have loved, but they are far from gone. It’s also important to point out that younger gay men often have next to no ability to break into markets by opening small bars or clubs because regulations have substantially increased, as have costs and student debt. This is also happening at the same time while development in cities is increasing and the older generation gay men frequently are cashing out to larger developers on the businesses and properties they own. 

[ErosWired]

48 minutes ago, wood said:

Also, people just generally grow up as they age and not having to deal with issues of hiding their identity has made things generally much easier. 

Except that they don’t necessarily grow up, in the sense of ‘mature’. A person can get older and older, but never any more mature or any more wise, if life has been nothing but a relatively easy ride. What build character in an individual, what stimulates personal growth and advances maturity, is adversity.

In nature, an organism only evolves and adapts when necessary, because that kind of change is biologically both expensive and risky. It’s done for the sake of survival in the face of an environment that is not ideally suited. It’s change, or die.

While for a person it’s not that extreme, it’s still in our nature to resist change unless we have to. If we don’t have to, it can be all too easy to assume that we’re doing everything right, and gain an attitude accordingly.

Frankly, I don’t expect most young people will start to “get it” until life knocks them on their ass a few times and they learn the meaning of sorrow, and loss, and disappointment. That’s when people grow up.