Ponystallion Posted October 21, 2021 Report Posted October 21, 2021 I recently had a fantasy sex hookup, only to have him say it didn’t live up to his expectations, what does that even means, especially when it was the very first sexual encounter Ike that? I, curious does every bottom look for mind blowing sex, if so, why and why not enjoy the journey?
Tavros Posted October 21, 2021 Report Posted October 21, 2021 sex is rarely mind blowing for me, but always fun. But I wouldn’t worry to much about it, as long as you enjoyed yourself. 2
Treehugger Posted October 22, 2021 Report Posted October 22, 2021 21 hours ago, Ponystallion said: I recently had a fantasy sex hookup, only to have him say it didn’t live up to his expectations, what does that even means, especially when it was the very first sexual encounter Ike that? I, curious does every bottom look for mind blowing sex, if so, why and why not enjoy the journey? Probably has porn expectations, in other words a ridiculous sense of what he expected from your encounter. Also what a rude thing to say, basically blaming you for his inability to enjoy your time together. Dismiss him from your mind. BTW you are a hot man, don’t waste your time with guys who can’t appreciate what you have to offer. 😀
funpozbottom Posted October 23, 2021 Report Posted October 23, 2021 (edited) On 10/21/2021 at 1:49 AM, Ponystallion said: I recently had a fantasy sex hookup, only to have him say it didn’t live up to his expectations, what does that even means, especially when it was the very first sexual encounter Ike that? I, curious does every bottom look for mind blowing sex, if so, why and why not enjoy the journey? That can seem like a rude thing to say, but I think it's a fairly common reaction from someone who is new to kink/ fetish/ cos/ role play scenarios. The problem is that fantasy is almost always hotter than real life because in fantasy, you control all the variables in your head. However, in a real life scene, you have to give up control of at least some variables to the partner. Unfortunately, we're not mind readers, so each partner is merely making a best guess at what the other is looking for. If someone is relatively inexperience at that particular scene, or if someone is unwilling to deviate from his fantasy vision of the scene, there's a good chance that one or both may find the experience less satisfying than they expected. My experience is that it takes a couple tries at a scene to work out exactly what you want to get out of it, and, to be able to communicate that to your partner. Personally, I think fantasies are nice to work toward, but you shouldn't expect it all to work out first go. It sounds like you approached the hookup as something to play and have fun with while he wanted it to be an amusement park ride where he could lay back and have his fantasy fulfilled. If you keep your attitude, you will continue to have creative and enjoyable scenes. If he keeps his attitude, he will continue to be dissatisfied. Edited October 23, 2021 by funpozbottom 1
ErosWired Posted October 23, 2021 Report Posted October 23, 2021 I’m sorry that happened to you. It’s really kind of reprehensible to be critical of someone’s intimacy. You deserved better. Still, the key phrase is “his expectations”. You’re not responsible for living up to whatever unreality he had created for himself. @funpozbottom is exactly right - if he doesn’t modify his own way of looking at things, he’s in for a lot of disappointment. I would add that although in fantasy a person usually controls all the variables, in reality often the only variable a person can control is his own expectations. 1
Guest Posted October 23, 2021 Report Posted October 23, 2021 You just need to find the right type of bottom. Some of us take pride in our work. It's my job to make sure my tops or doms have a good time and feel like their a king. A lot of guys who just want to get off are just jerks. Just gotta find someone with the mentality youre looking for.
blackrobe Posted November 9, 2021 Report Posted November 9, 2021 On 10/20/2021 at 10:49 PM, Ponystallion said: I recently had a fantasy sex hookup, only to have him say it didn’t live up to his expectations, what does that even means, especially when it was the very first sexual encounter Ike that? I, curious does every bottom look for mind blowing sex, if so, why and why not enjoy the journey? His expectations are his responsibility. If you were good, giving, and game (and it sounds like you were) then you did what you could do. The problem with fantasies is that they can be very detailed and specific and often very unrealistic. The trick is to recognize what it is in the fantasy that you're responding to and focus on that, and not the details. It's always best to start with "I want to feel X" and then start experimenting with things you suspect might help you get there. It's almost a certainty that if you don't identify how you want to feel in a fantasy, you'll very often miss the target. Its worth asking your next fantasy sex guy what they want to feel, and what it is about the fantasy that they think will take them there. Thanks for being up for it on behalf of all the imaginative guys out there!
DarkroomTaker Posted November 9, 2021 Report Posted November 9, 2021 On 10/21/2021 at 6:49 AM, Ponystallion said: I recently had a fantasy sex hookup, only to have him say it didn’t live up to his expectations, what does that even means, especially when it was the very first sexual encounter Ike that? I, curious does every bottom look for mind blowing sex, if so, why and why not enjoy the journey? Hey, sorry you was treated like that. Some F..rude ignorant people out there. Just dont give it another thought, waste of energy. Plenty more people out there. Btw, you are Hot...👅
phukhole Posted November 9, 2021 Report Posted November 9, 2021 That's way rude. No, I don't expect mind-numbing sex, but when I get it, I'm amazed and thankful. A lot of sex isn't great for a number of reasons, but if I'm not enjoying it. I have to either guide him to a better angle or change positions or do more myself. Sex is never bad because of one person. It's bad because only one person is trying. If you enjoyed yourself, consider yourself lucky. There are plenty of better lays out there. Go get you a few! 2
heresdan Posted November 10, 2021 Report Posted November 10, 2021 I’m sorry this happened to you. Some people have forgotten that their pleasure is ultimately up to them. If they come in with unrealistic and unreasonable expectations (porn situations) it was up to him to set expectations accordingly. His unwillingness to communicate until after the deed was done is his shortfall and not yours. For the record, I’d love to please you and your cock anytime if you were closer. Or if you’re ever in the same place as I am. I don’t have unrealistic expectations and I just like pleasing my tops.
crawford912 Posted November 10, 2021 Report Posted November 10, 2021 17 minutes ago, heresdan said: For the record, I’d love to please you and your cock anytime if you were closer. Or if you’re ever in the same place as I am. I don’t have unrealistic expectations and I just like pleasing my tops. 100% agreed with everyone else - that's a cunty thing to do and I'm sure if all the tops who knew him could had a groupchat, there'd be some comments.... and 100% agreed with heresdan, you can breed me anyyyytime. 🙂 1
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