Your "Red Flags"

[NWUSHorny]

17 hours ago, ejaculaTe said:

"Can you bring some other tops with you?" 

"Sure, there's a regional Tops convention going on in town right now. There should be 4 or 5 guys wanting to nail an ass after all of these damn meetings."

----

Guys who ask you to "bring other tops" seem to think there's 6 or 7 tops sitting in a lounge somewhere, waiting for an urgent plea from a bottom in need, as if they're fighter pilots ready to scramble at a moment's notice. I always avoided guys who made that request.

The irony is if you are interested in topping and make that request to a bottom, most of them would have no trouble rounding up a handful of bottoms in most cities. 

[JamesL100]

39 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

The irony is if you are interested in topping and make that request to a bottom, most of them would have no trouble rounding up a handful of bottoms in most cities. 

In my experience btms rarely share and are too impatient when the cocks are already busy fucking!

[bluedragon]

Yeah, tops do seem to be better at sharing.

But I've learned that trying to put together threes or small groups takes a lot of effort and co-ordination and often just dies on its arse for some reason you didn't think of, so I don't bother, and I definitely am not going to be your appointments secretary.

[LetsPOZBreed]

1 hour ago, NWUSHorny said:

The irony is if you are interested in topping and make that request to a bottom, most of them would have no trouble rounding up a handful of bottoms in most cities. 

While in theory, they could round up fellow bottoms...they won't.  Tops are in short supply in many cities, so bottoms tend to be selfish.  

[LetsPOZBreed]

Ok, so here's mine.  A few have been listed already, but it just shows how pervasive some of this stuff is.  Applies to the apps...I can come up with a different list for in-person meets and sex club encounters.

1.  The proverbial "race to the bottom" from a vers or vers/top guy.  I'm upfront that I rarely fuck an ass nowadays, but still get this one more times than I should.

2.  I've been clean and sober for a decade now.  I can pick up on the subtle words one uses to imply that some form of drug use is expected:  "long/all-night session", "chilled meets", etc.  Actually had this one happen to me yesterday...asked the guy to tell me what he meant by a long session and he faffed on about "whatever you think it means".  I guarantee you that if you leave it to me to fill in the blanks, I won't fill them in the way you'd want.

3.  (Speaking for myself as a bareback bottom):  "How many loads do you have?" It's hard enough finding one good top, much less finding enough tops in one day to say the number of loads you'd want.  In my experience, any number I give won't be high enough...he'll always ask if I can get more for him.

4.  In a similar vein to #3, the "can you bring any mates".  Happened when I used to top more, but this always annoyed me.  If I had good top mates, they'd be fucking ME, not YOU.

5.  "There's ## of horny guys here looking for more"...see #2 above.  This is a tell-tale sign of drug usage.  If you're all horny, you should be doing something about it amongst yourselves.  The only reason you're not is because no one can get hard.

6.  Assuming my screen name (same one as on here) implies that, by default, I should totally devolve into the worst of our community (such as actual bug-sharers - such as deliberate infection of STI's other than HIV).  I have a very particular fetish around verbal play, yes...but I draw the line at further jeopardising my own health.  

[LetsPOZBreed]

My red-flags for in-person encounters:

1.  Attempting to reach for my cock when I'm wearing a jockstrap or ass-less pants.  This is not the part of my body that I'm offering to the masses, so back off.

2.  Chatting me up without the clear intention of fucking me in the very immediate term.  Make your move...you're only wasting both our time.  

3.  Clearly trying to do something I'm not comfortable with.  If I ask you to stop trying to force my head down to deep throat you, I will walk off if you attempt it again.  

4.  If you can clearly see that I'm locked eye-to-eye in gaze with the guy fucking me...now is not the time to try and intervene.  You can have your turn when we're done.  Don't ruin our moment just to try and get yours.

[hntnhole]

3 hours ago, LetsPOZBreed said:

"How many loads do you have?"

Might I point out that getting your Hole fucked full is HIS job - not yours ... 

[NWUSHorny]

I have several guys that will ask me how many loads I have if they see me trying to get fucked at the bathhouse, and that they will come back and fuck me once I've been loaded. Most of them run like a deer if they see me get fucked and bred. The guys that actually like to fuck a loaded hole (including me) don't ask, but will ask someone they are pretty sure is loaded if they want another load.

[fskn]

On 4/9/2022 at 1:00 PM, NWUSHorny said:

I just saw a new one on BBRT "power cuddler". I could be wrong, but it sounds like a way of telling guys that you don't fuck without coming out and saying you don't fuck.

It's shame, but you are right that putting "cuddling" in a gay sex profile is a red flag.

Sometimes it is nice just to cuddle with a stranger. I wish this were common and easy to offer or to ask for. (At one time there was an app — Cuddlr, I think — but apparently people found it creepy.) People don't need to get married to cuddle!

The trouble starts as soon as a headless, chiseled, muscular torso wants to cuddle. A highly sexualized photo is inconsistent with platonic intent (or vice versa). A person so physically attractive should be able to get pretty much anyone to talk to him in real life, with little need for an app. Research shows that we are drawn to attractive people.

When someone with no photo at all wants to cuddle, run!

[iman2004]

7 minutes ago, fskn said:

It's shame, but you are right that putting "cuddling" in a gay sex profile is a red flag.

Sometimes it is nice just to cuddle with a stranger. I wish this were common and easy to offer or to ask for. (At one time there was an app — Cuddlr, I think — but apparently people found it creepy.) People don't need to get married to cuddle!

The trouble starts as soon as a headless, chiseled, muscular torso wants to cuddle. A highly sexualized photo is inconsistent with platonic intent (or vice versa). A person so physically attractive should be able to get pretty much anyone to talk to him in real life, with little need for an app. Research shows that we are drawn to attractive people.

When someone with no photo at all wants to cuddle, run!

Was once approached by Jessy Karson, according to the profile photo. He only wanted oral and cuddles. 
 

I was sceptical 

[fskn]

6 minutes ago, iman2004 said:

Was once approached by Jessy Karson, according to the profile photo. He only wanted oral and cuddles.

I was sceptical 

Hey, porn stars get lonely sometimes, too! 🤣

Production schedules must be so tight that they don't have time to cuddle after finishing a scene.

[iman2004]

1 minute ago, fskn said:

Hey, porn stars get lonely sometimes, too! 🤣

Production schedules must be so tight that they don't have time to cuddle after finishing a scene.

It would be the only thing still tight around Jessy Karson! 🤣

[ellentonboy]

17 hours ago, LetsPOZBreed said:

While in theory, they could round up fellow bottoms...they won't.  Tops are in short supply in many cities, so bottoms tend to be selfish.  

Boy do you have that right.  I have bottom friends who will ask about someone new who I met, what sites they are on, what is their screen name, can I tell them their first name or even their phone number or email address.  Would they give me the same information?  HELL NO!!!

On the other side, my top friends are always happy to bring another total top with them.  They like to meet other bottoms but usually only if I can vouch for them - are they clean, will they show up, will they show up sober enough, etc.  I had built a relationship with a local top and I would invite him over anytime I was having a group party and if there were bottoms I thought he might enjoy.  I would even sometimes turn on SKYPE or other web cam services so these guys could talk to him, as he had a huge dick and was an incredibly nice and talented top who really new what he was doing.  To thank me for my kindness, I mentioned I had a very cute bottom friend visiting, and he said he was bringing a "surprise".  My friend was a man of about 48, and he bought his 23 year old son who was HUGE.  Like father, like son.  The father basicly took pics while his son fucked us.

Now, you would think that bottom friend would return the favor.  I introduced him to at least two other tops I play with on a regular basis.  He is very handsome, a little sloppy and a bit indiscreet.  He kept a friend of mine waiting hours because he was still at the bath house, and wasn't embarrassed to share that information.  In all the years I have known him, he never introduced me to another top.

Yet my top friend, whenever he has top friends visiting him, and I live in a resort area.  He always includes me in his plans, always extends an invite to meet his buddies.  I hate to say this, tops don't mind sharing, bottoms (and yeah I am one) tend to be greedy,  It is a real shame...

[ellentonboy]

8 hours ago, fskn said:

It's shame, but you are right that putting "cuddling" in a gay sex profile is a red flag.

Sometimes it is nice just to cuddle with a stranger. I wish this were common and easy to offer or to ask for. (At one time there was an app — Cuddlr, I think — but apparently people found it creepy.) People don't need to get married to cuddle!

The trouble starts as soon as a headless, chiseled, muscular torso wants to cuddle. A highly sexualized photo is inconsistent with platonic intent (or vice versa). A person so physically attractive should be able to get pretty much anyone to talk to him in real life, with little need for an app. Research shows that we are drawn to attractive people.

When someone with no photo at all wants to cuddle, run!

If I wanted to cuddle, I would call my grandmother.  It amazes me that guys saying they are looking for their "soul mate" on A4A or Barebackrt.com.  Do they even know where they are posting?  

[hntnhole]

Some of the above responses are just plain laughable ... profiles wanting to cuddle, and nothing else?  But it raises a question in my mind:  are there so many raw guys living in so many out-of-the-way places, that they simply cannot get real, regular, raw sex, and thus feel they must depend on the cruise sites? 

It sounds like these cruise sites are getting even worse than a few years ago when I finally gave up on them.  I admire rawTOP for a number of things:  1.  putting this existing BZ site together - extensive as it is.  2.  Considering adding a "hook-up" function to BZ, so as to cut out as much of the phony bullshit on the other sites.  That would be a tremendous undertaking, but often altruism is a very real part of men who realize how real the need is for genuine connection between us.