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Discomfort with the idea I may be contributing to bugchasing/gifting even if it is hopefully mostly fantasy. How do others handle this?


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Posted

Firstly, I'd say you're NOT contributing to bugchasing. Your profile and posts make it clear that you aren't going to help people do it, nor to you condone or encourage it.

Secondly, you are not responsible for the actions of others. That's on them. You happen to have HIV. Suppose for a moment that you did have a significant viral load (for whatever reason), and thus represented some kind of temptation to bugchasers who were serious about it, would not be a failure on your part. It would simply be a fact, whether or not you had made choices that caused it to be that way (either could be the case). The chaser's feelings and actions are their problem. The world is full of temptations and dangers... and dangerous temptations. It is not our responsibility to protect others from them, though it might be honorable and morally upright to do so, especially if they are less capable of doing so themselves (children, for example).

Thirdly, and this is not intended to be judging you, merely to put things into perspective, we are living in a world where people hurt and kill themselves and others (not to mention wrecking the planet and other living creatures) all the damn time. Just now we have frequent mass shootings, pandemic, war, and global climate change. So concern over encouraging bugchasing merely by participating in BZ belongs (in my opinion) squarely in the category of "high-class worries".

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Posted

Here's the thing for me.  I've had guys do poz talk during sex (even when we're both undetectable and there's no real reason for one of us to infect the other).  In the right moment, I love the verbal and role play.

But that's precisely it for me...it's ROLE PLAY.  I use this screen name on a few sites, and you can imagine the crazy replies I get.  I'll hear from guys asking me pointe-blank "I hope you're not ruining your status by taking all those toxic meds".  I had another one recently just state:  Why are you wasting your status by being undetectable...you should be infecting as much as possible.  My problem with it comes from others in the community telling ME how I should go about living my status.

I've considered changing this screen name before, as it can be a bit much on occasion.  But I actually decided to keep it....why?  It strangely invites guys to be a bit more upfront and honest with me about what they're after.  If that is to enjoy the verbal role play aspect without actually infecting anyone - great.  If that means some guy wants to fuck and load me with his "unknown" or "do not care" status; I know to stay away.  

Similar to you, @NWUSHorny, I've not (knowingly) infected anyone.  I'm not seeking to change that either.  

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Posted
4 hours ago, TheSRQDude said:

I have some great swampland in Nevada

Always good to have a laugh, huh?  BTW !!!  So there's this bridge I happen to own, over towards Brooklyn .... not expensive, in case you're interested ..... 🤣

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Posted
4 hours ago, viking8x6 said:

...you are not responsible for the actions of others. That's on them.

 

Oh do I wish more people would heed that statement. We have a couple of generations ahead of me who do not understand personal responsibility, and it makes me wonder if mine is the last generation (Gen X) that had to assume personal responsibility, or not have helicopter parenting and nanny-states. I digress.

It Ian't our job to protect people from themselvesNor society's. Nor the government's, for the most part. Unfortunately, this is why we get idiotic warning labels on products stating blatantly obvious things (Peanut Butter -- may contain nuts, for instance). 

You can't fix stupid. You're responsible for yourself. The OP is on meds and doing what he should be doing. If someone wants to make their fantasy into a reality by risky behavior, that isn't everyone else's problem or fault. You can read them the warning label, but there's no guarantee they'll listen. 

Posted

@LetsPOZBreed I have not seen you volunteering to gift or stealth guys, so I don't really have any issues. Yes you can make it part of your role playing you aren't really doing it. I will even concede that I have jacked off to porn with that kind of dialogue if it was a hot fuck, but it is really not my thing. I too have had guys contact me with a request to go off meds and convert them, you were probably nicer in your responses than I am.

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Posted

@viking8x6 and @TheSRQDude it is not so much about protecting them from themselves as much as it is about avoiding providing a negative "leadership by example". There is some irony in I don't mind them following my example on lack of inhibitions and promiscuity, but draw a red line at providing a leadership example for spreading and seeking what without treatment is usually a deadly disease.

I do have regrets about anyone I may have infected, I was breeding guys in the local bathhouse less than a week before I was diagnosed with a viral load over a million. I had been traveling all over North America and fucking guys in the months leading up to it, so I have little doubt I am guilty of infecting a few guys eve if I did give them the choice of whether or not they wanted me to cum in them.

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Posted

@NWUSHorny As a bugchaser talking to someone that's not interested in gifting, I would recommend you remove the terms bugchasing and gifting from your profile. I search off those and other similar terms to find partners so you'll definitely be hit up by guys who don't read your profile but found you searching for those terms.

Posted
15 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

@LetsPOZBreed I have not seen you volunteering to gift or stealth guys, so I don't really have any issues. Yes you can make it part of your role playing you aren't really doing it. I will even concede that I have jacked off to porn with that kind of dialogue if it was a hot fuck, but it is really not my thing. I too have had guys contact me with a request to go off meds and convert them, you were probably nicer in your responses than I am.

My response was no response.  It's not really nice, but I could have said much worse...

I just don't respect guys who propose I jeopardise my heath just so they can have a fap.

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