Five Guys who Fuck and Who Don’t

[NWUSHorny]

22 hours ago, BlackDude said:

I will give a pass to a guy I’ve never seen do anything. I will admit I was that guy who use to watch when I was younger. I was scared.

How many years did it take for you to participate? I've been watching some of the same guys for 15 years at the local bathhouse. There are a couple of them I've never even seen touch anyone else.

[BlackDude]

41 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

How many years did it take for you to participate? I've been watching some of the same guys for 15 years at the local bathhouse. There are a couple of them I've never even seen touch anyone else.

It wasn’t 15 years. Hahaha

 

This reminds me of this “straight” married guy in town. He’s been showing up to the spots for years playing straight porn on his phone and jacking off. He won’t let anyone touch him or the holy married cock. He’s trying to do the whole curious married guy thing but no one is curious for 15 years. 

And I’ve seen him fuck before. So his whole act is just to use desperate gay men who have a straight fetish to feed his ego until he finds someone he deems worthy. Interesting thing is guys Who have been around a few times now his act and don’t give him the time of day anymore. 

[NWUSHorny]

On 6/9/2022 at 10:09 AM, BlackDude said:

Shout out to you for that insight. From what I’ve seen, a lot of what you describe are from guys with a lot of female influence in their lives. These guys take on that feminine ideology. Women lie to themselves and only count the sex that happens in a “relationship.” They pretend feel guilty about casual sex. It’s a weird rationalization game they play. Big secret is that are fucking, but that like to have that orbit of attention from guys they won’t fuck. Single mother mentality 101. 

 

This is an interesting thread for me in multiple ways. Thank you for posting it.

The feminine ideology gay men incorporate into gay sex in the PNW overwhelms me at times. I had always thought about the relationship feature as being heteronormative, rather than feminine, but can easily see where it is feminine ideology. There are several more ways that this applies:

I've frequently said that guys at the sex clubs here adopt a teenage girl's attitude about sex. They are horny and everyone knows it, but are trying desperately to at least keep up appearances of being a "good girl", which makes me wonder why the hell they are at a sex club.

I always feel like I'm some sort of freak when I read the the majority of local hookup app profiles, where a lot of the text is devoted to telling everyone how much they love to cuddle. I would go as far as saying after 15 years of living here that I despise cuddling, and absolutely will not engage in it prior to fucking. 

I've also accused gay guys here of being functionally lesbian, i.e. they make out, engage in tit play, engage in hole play including dildos and fisting, but they won't under any circumstances willingly touch a another man's cock or let you touch theirs. This is the basis of my comments like "1001 ways to have 'great sex' where no one has to touch a cock" or "we can have sex if you promise not to touch my icky dick and I promise not to touch your icky dick."

All of these would seem to play into some kind of weird gay version of the "feminine ideology of sex". 

 

Edited June 11, 2022 by NWUSHorny

[BlackDude]

8 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

This is an interesting thread for me in multiple ways. Thank you for posting it.

The feminine ideology gay men incorporate into gay sex in the PNW overwhelms me at times. I had always thought about the relationship feature as being heteronormative, rather than feminine, but can easily see where it is feminine ideology. There are several more ways that this applies:

I've frequently said that guys at the sex clubs here adopt a teenage girl's attitude about sex. They are horny and everyone knows it, but are trying desperately to at least keep up appearances of being a "good girl", which makes me wonder why the hell they are at a sex club.

I always feel like I'm some sort of freak when I read the the majority of local hookup app profiles, where a lot of the text is devoted to telling everyone how much they love to cuddle. I would go as far as saying after 15 years of living here that I despise cuddling, and absolutely will not engage in it prior to fucking. 

I've also accused gay guys here of being functionally lesbian, i.e. they make out, engage in tit play, engage in hole play including dildos and fisting, but they won't under any circumstances willingly touch a another man's cock or let you touch theirs. This is the basis of my comments like "1001 ways to have 'great sex' where no one has to touch a cock" or "we can have sex if you promise not to touch my icky dick and I promise not to touch your icky dick."

All of these would seem to play into some kind of weird gay version of the "feminine ideology of sex". 

 

I don’t think relationships are feminine, but you ca have a feminine mindset when it comes to sex.

Women must be selective when it comes to sex because the result can be procreation. whether they choose to follow that instinct or not his one thing, but a woman should be selecting a made based on his ability to protect and provide. 

Two men cannot procreate. However, Some of these guys have been hanging with the girls so long, they pick up their dating habits.. For women it is mostly about protection and providing. Even a woman who doesn’t qualify for a man who can provide, will still give the illusion she is looking for that, just out of pure narcissism. 
 

These men are the same way. It’s all about putting up a front. Yes their fucking, but like their single mother role models and “girlfriends,” they Pretend to everyone else they’re looking for Mr. right.

[NWUSHorny]

@BlackDude so that doesn't explain the gay men that I classify as functionally lesbian. I would put them in a different category than the other 4-play guys.  They completely avoid your cock and won't let you near theirs. Bizarrely, some of them are into fisting, which is by most standards about as piggish as you can get.

The 4-play guys that I don't consider to be functionally lesbian, enthusiastically include penile contact in their activities. They are into at very least frottage and jacking each other off. More often than not they do want to actually cum and/or get you to cum as long as they don't have to participate in penile penetration. I personally consider oral only guys to be in the guys who don't fuck 4-play group.

[ErosWired]

1 hour ago, NWUSHorny said:

They are into at very least frottage and jacking each other off.

That was another IML gem - the dude who  pulled me on top of him and then, instead of finding his cock’s way into my hole, just rubbed himself against me belly-to-belly with his cock in between us until suddenly everything got warm and sticky…and then he was ready to go. I honestly don’t get the frottage guys - they come at it without the slightest discussion, as though it’s a given that anybody else would be down for that. To me, it’s possibly the most selfish type of contact, because the guy doing it isn’t really focused on the other person’s pleasure at all - it’s purely about self-stimulating against the other body.

If someone outright says he’s interested in frottage, I immediately decline, almost as fast as I do with foot fetishists. My body is for penetrating, not rubbing - all the best stuff is on the inside.

[NWUSHorny]

19 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

If someone outright says he’s interested in frottage, I immediately decline, almost as fast as I do with foot fetishists. My body is for penetrating, not rubbing - all the best stuff is on the inside.

I'd slightly rather have the frottage guy than the guy that knows 1001 ways to have "sex" without anyone having to touch a cock. Foot fetish guys are for the most part in the latter category, although I've had guys try to use their feet to jack me off.

[ErosWired]

4 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

Foot fetish guys are for the most part in the latter category, although I've had guys try to use their feet to jack me off.

My experience with foot fetishists has been that they have basically substituted feet for cocks altogether. They either want endless footrubbing and/or toe sucking, (with an interminable taking off and putting on of socks and shoes), or worse, they want to do it to mine. And that is not happening. I would rather watch a coat of paint dry.

[tallslenderguy]

Great thread BlackDude, thanks for starting it.

There's been a lot of discussion on this site about "flakes," and this discussion is reminiscent of that phenomenon to me. i suspect there are lots of reasons that all seem to coalesce into a group of guys who either will or won't fuck? 

i thought of another group of guys who won't fuck that i don't think has been mentioned, and that's the ED group. i've seen more than a few guys at theaters/abs/sex clubs/saunas who are eternally jacking, but never seem to get hard, or hard enough to penetrate.

 i've encountered a guy from Squirt who has contacted me for years telling me he wants to fuck and breed me, i also see him cruising the local ABS online and in person expressing the same desires. i hooked with him a few times years ago, and he never actually fucked me. He tried, made a big show of it, but never got hard enough to penetrate.  The first time it happened, i just excused it to nerves because his energy and intent seemed so real and sincere. But the same thing happened the second time... and third (lol, i hate to give up on any guy who wants to fuck). Turns out, this guy is in denial. What gave it away was him contacting me wanting to hook and saying what a great time he had before. It seems this guy is doing the best he can, and his version of "fucking."  i feel for him, but stopped hooking with him because it was really frustrating to experience him trying to penetrate the whole time, yet never getting there. 

i'm guessing there is a group of guys out there who want to fuck, but for various reasons whether psychological or physiological, cannot perform. The need and desire is there, they just can't do it, so they end up doing a form or fantasy fuck that doesn't fit the standard version. 

[blackrobe]

7 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

i'm guessing there is a group of guys out there who want to fuck, but for various reasons whether psychological or physiological, cannot perform. The need and desire is there, they just can't do it, so they end up doing a form or fantasy fuck that doesn't fit the standard version. 

Just a reminder that one in every two men will get prostate cancer in their lifetime. Men who've been treated for this cancer, whether it's ADT (Androgen Deprivation Therapy), some type of prostatectomy, or radiation therapy, will have some form of erectile problems because of their course of treatment. 

My default position with any ED situation is compassion and no expectations. 

[NWUSHorny]

While not technically ED, spending an hour at a crowded sex club where no one is fucking is a pretty effective way of preventing me from getting hard enough to fuck. If there is even a little bit of fucking happening at a crowded sex club I will usually fuck every willing hole and cum at least twice during my visit. Even after I've been frustrated to the point I can't get hard, I will still happily get fucked, and usually can get hard and fuck for a little while afterward getting fucked if there are any bottoms actively trying during that window.

[Pigforcum]

Here was me thinking this is a post about the Five Guys burger joint 🤣

[Guest]

The bars and now the websites and apps are full of game players like this. My gay and bi friends who are or were into saunas or bath houses, as well as the TEAROOM and porn store scenes told me how they would spend more of their total time there walking around or being ignored or rejected by guys who were always there looking for someone better, more muscular, more fit, more handsome, etc.

When I was a young man into going to bars and discos looking for men and women to hook up with who were also looking to hook up with someone, I was just super honest with people saying sorry you are not my type, this isn't going to work out, etc. so I did not waste my time or theirs.

Edited June 13, 2022 by TotalTop

[BlackDude]

On 6/12/2022 at 7:36 AM, tallslenderguy said:

Great thread BlackDude, thanks for starting it.

There's been a lot of discussion on this site about "flakes," and this discussion is reminiscent of that phenomenon to me. i suspect there are lots of reasons that all seem to coalesce into a group of guys who either will or won't fuck? 

i thought of another group of guys who won't fuck that i don't think has been mentioned, and that's the ED group. i've seen more than a few guys at theaters/abs/sex clubs/saunas who are eternally jacking, but never seem to get hard, or hard enough to penetrate.

 i've encountered a guy from Squirt who has contacted me for years telling me he wants to fuck and breed me, i also see him cruising the local ABS online and in person expressing the same desires. i hooked with him a few times years ago, and he never actually fucked me. He tried, made a big show of it, but never got hard enough to penetrate.  The first time it happened, i just excused it to nerves because his energy and intent seemed so real and sincere. But the same thing happened the second time... and third (lol, i hate to give up on any guy who wants to fuck). Turns out, this guy is in denial. What gave it away was him contacting me wanting to hook and saying what a great time he had before. It seems this guy is doing the best he can, and his version of "fucking."  i feel for him, but stopped hooking with him because it was really frustrating to experience him trying to penetrate the whole time, yet never getting there. 

i'm guessing there is a group of guys out there who want to fuck, but for various reasons whether psychological or physiological, cannot perform. The need and desire is there, they just can't do it, so they end up doing a form or fantasy fuck that doesn't fit the standard version. 

Interesting perspective as a bottom. I was more think of guys who are able to fuck but won’t. But I guess as a bottom The reasons don’t matter!

 

[ErosWired]

On 6/12/2022 at 9:48 AM, blackrobe said:

My default position with any ED situation is compassion and no expectations.

This is me, plus I usually try to start with an understanding that in many cases ED has a psychological component that can be overcome, and I make it my business to try to figure out if I can help. It can be very rewarding to help a Top get past that block.