How Gay Almost Died: Losing the J-Spot and the Shrink Cock War

[Guest]

[Editor's note: this is romcom in three parts... ]

Part One:

Title Card: Chicago, October 2023

 

Me and Spence are doing shotguns and sniffing every inch of each other. We're on day three of our bro bonding sesh and haven't showered in four.

 

 

Above: (left to right) Danny and Spencer.

 

We've only been allowed to clean our butts and the last time we did that was yesterday.

I'm squatting over his face as he licks my sweaty sac, teasing my hairy taint and hole intermittently, when he suddenly stops and tries to push me off...

"C'mon move! It's coming on," he yells.

"Fuuuuuck my balls are sore," I yell back.

Just wait a little he says as he turns up the volume.

"Da fuck cares," we were there bro. 

"Like I don't fucking know," he pushes me over and jams a thumb in my pig hole.

"Fuuuuuuck, don't tease  me..." he hands me the pipe and says to take a hit and looks at the TV.

TITLE CARD ON SCREEN:

 

“For in the end there is no us and them, no human and Other. We are them, and they are us. And all of this has happened before, and will happen again.” Battlestar Galactica

 

“You have cum in my ass before, and you will cum in my ass again.” Plato (probably), also some rando in a Sketchy Sex video.

**I fucking laugh**

Voice Over:  "In late August of 2022 many things long predicted will come to a head in the gay community in the United Stats of America—literally."

VO of Leslie Stahl: "While the strange events unfolded no one knew exactly what was going on because everyone saw  a part of a whole (the blindman and the elephant) so in tonight’s 60 Minutes Special who but Anderson Cooper in an exclusive interview with the gay ghost of Joseph Campbell (Campbell came out posthumously—hey! This is his un-lived experience ! His truth!) About how gay America nearly imploded taking the country with them before one brave Twink  saved us all at the 11th hour."

 

"And be sure to check out Todrick Hall’s new video based on his new song about last summer 'Market Darknet End of Days in the Windy City' on 60 Minutes overtime."

 

Anderson Cooper VO: "What does Hentai, Telegram, crystal meth, Moby Dick, tentacle porn, climate change, and Chicago's Market Days have in common? besides a case of monkeypox?

We uncover the answers tonight. On 60 Minutes.

 

I look over at Spence's cute stupid face and lick the side. 

"I fucking love you bro," I whisper. "So fucking much."

He winks at me.

AC VO: "25,000 years ago on Pangea: Hunter gathering members of the species Homo big hard Erectus rode their velociraptors out at the first sign of light."

TITLE CARD:

FACT: Pangea was a supercontinent that existed a long time ago. Also known as uncut Earth or the uncircumcised continent.

 

AC VO: They wandered through fields of ephedra—it was the most valuable crop to Homo big hard Erectus— their alpha cock guards led the way ready to defend as the Twinks gathered the crops.

"Unbeknownst to them a great earthquake was imminent and minutes later the earth would crack open spewing volcanic ash and steam into the atmosphere.

"When this earth flatulence hit the ephedra the fields were in a flash turned to the first naturally occurring crystal methamphetamine.

"Clouds of meth blew across and the plain and all big hard homos inhaled lots.

"I WOULDA DEFINITELY INHALED!" I yell at the screen.

"You're a fucking mook," Spence says. "Shut up dummy."

 

AC VO: "Suddenly spun, the alphas looked at the Twinks, no longer as their protectors, but as their predators.

"Sexual predators.

"Twinks genuflected in respect and presented to the alphas.

"And thus occurred The Great Rape.

"Nearly three quarters of the Twink population perished, most of child rearing age. The remainder were mpreged.

"In the Great Truce of Bareback Mountain, his majesty King Alpha Alexander of Men.com was wed to Twink prince Troy of SeanCody in a pact to keep the peace and the great gay diaspora spread to all corners of the globe.

"And it was a long lasting peace.

"One that would last until August of 2022.

 

FADE

Flashback: the screen says August 11, 2022

 

We see Spence and Danny walking along Lake Michigan, tight cut off denim shorts, the straps from their jocks showing. They look like they fuck like rabbits.

Danny's phone chirps. "fuuuuck yes! Get an uber bro..."

"Where?"

Danny pulls his wife beater out of his back pocket and shoves it in his face.

"The fucking trailer dude? fuuuuccck...."

 

It's a 45 minute drive, past Naperville and all the fancy suburbs to get there. We're out of T but there's a rumor that the guy in the trailer at the edge of the park deals so we go investigate but really just hounding for drugs and cock.

We knock on his door and ask if he has any jobs that need to be done cause we'll do it for some extra cash. He asks what we're saving for and we allude to party supplies. He tells us to come in he has something that might interest us. He takes us to his bedroom and tells us he needs help setting something up cause he has some friends coming over soon for a little get together.

He gets out a sling and we start setting it up and theres a knock at the door and the dudes friends start showing up and they're all fucking daddy as fuck and super fucking hot with fat bulges.

I just turned 19 and Spence's 18th birthday is tomorrow.

We get the sling set up and then the guys start  hassling us saying it doesn't look sturdy.

We don't know yet but he's seen us fooling around in for four years in a row in our fort in the woods.

We say it is sturdy and he says prove it. "Get in to test that it'll stay up."

We both jump up our feet perpendicular to the straps and stand on each end kinda swinging towards each other.

We steady each other by holding each other's elbows.

Fuck yeah one of the guys lift Danny up into it and are pulling on it pushing him back and forth to test that it'll hold.

Nick the owner says, "Well fuck it looks like you know how to use on of these you done this before?"

He can see my fat teen boner busting out of my shorts. "Yeah bro, it's a fucking sling... it swings... got that figured out."

He hands us  a bottle of Gatorade dose with G. It's the white one, fucking cum flavor, Nick thinks it's funny every time.

Spencer takes a swig, "Fuuuck yeah..."

Nick says, "Say how bout instead of cash you can stay for the get together we all think you'll have fun..."

"Fuck you bro Nick," I say.

His friend Theo looks at Nick, "wait, so are they brothers or not... they don't even look a like."

"Nah bro," I say.

"Why do you call everyone bro dude?"

"That's my thing bro! The [banned word] Premium Experience..."

Nick rolls his eyes, "No... they're boyfriends."

Theo, "Tha fuck... I coulda had those other two tricks... the older one and the kid... they're real.."

I fucking laugh.

"Who?! Tommy and Bobby....?!" I fall over with laughter.

The only thing those two junkies will do is rob you fucking old queens. They don't fuck. Tommy says that shit right until he gets the bag and then he's like Batman and you're Gordon."

"nah," Nick says, "They fuck."

"Yeah right" I say...

Spence whispers, "Uh... no Danny they do...."

"WTF???!!!" I yell.

"I have the video" Nick says and that's the last thing I remember before it all goes black.

[See my previous story: How I Became My Baby Brother Bobby's Little Bitch]

****

 

When I come to, me and Spence are strung up like ducks in a Chinatown shop window, side by side, We both have WW2 gas masks on our face. I look over at Spence, "tha fuck... when  did Tommy and Bobby fuck?!"

When I turn my head I see the rigs set up. And notice we're both in someone else's piss stained  filthy jocks.

Spencer smiles at me and moans, "mmmm yeah."

"We smell like piss," I sniff my pits, "But not ours. I'm confused."

 "Stale chem piss," Spence sing songs. "So fucking horny bro..."

Our legs are up and cheeks spread and in the mirror in front of us I can see both 
our holes are already purple and puffy.

"The fuck! These little tina dick queens have  barely started."

"Is there something warm leaking out of my ass bro? cause I want more."

"Yeah it's leaking around the plug babe. You're gaped aF. Looks like a rhinoceros watering hole. Wait until they pull those fat suckers  out...  we'll be begging them to put them back in."

"fuck yeah please..." Spence begs.

"Nick's got that meth infused crisco... it's artisanal."

I can barely say the word without laughing.

One of Nick's creepy old [banned word] buddies runs up looking like he's gollum and slops huge dollops of the crisco on our holes.

Spencer: "it fucking burns so good that fucking tingle sensation."

"CRISCO DISCO BABY!" I yell.

"Will. You. Shut. the. Fuck. Up." Nick scowls.

"C'mon Uncle Nick.."

Everyone turns shocked and mouthes uncle.

 

"Hahaha... joking.... he's not my mom's brother or nothing."

Nick storms out.

"Hey look," I point "They're watching a movie in the other room. Wait... is that us?!"

Spence:  "Fuck yeah bro I can see one of them fucking you and you're body is limp and just swaying back and forth with each slam of his dick into your ass. It gets me so fucking hard."

"Oh yeah," I wink and blow a kiss, "Happy birthday, babe! Bro I love the smell... it's like we're in heat."

Spencer: "Yeah, all i want is for one of them to start fucking me right now while I watch the vid of them fucking you when you were passed out."

"Fucccck yeah..."

They start pumping the clouds into our masks and the IVs start.

Spencer: "Fuck yeah gas us up get us even more spun and fucking high."

So. Much. Meth. Bro. Is this heaven?"

Me and Spence start squirming,  we're begging for it.

Spencer: "Im already so fucking horny bro I feel like my dick is on fire and I can't believe there's no fat dick in my ass it's so fucking hungry."

"Bro... your hole... it's like hungry."

Spencer: "Fucking starving. Is yours bro?"

"No. Spence, fuck it's like that French fuck in that video!"

Our favorite porn is this one with this kid and I don't even know what's going on with his hole. It's puckered but whenever a cock comes near it starts moving towards it like a mouth on a ugly blind worm. It's our favorite fucking thing.
 

Spencer S: "Dude thats my fucking hole getting fucked and flooded.... fuck I don't remember these guys stretching me out but that must be why my ass already feels warmed up and desperate to milk some more fat uncut dad dick.."

That's when the rigs kicked in....

FADE TO BLACK.

END PART ONE.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[TheAficionado]

Whew! I’ll give you this, dude, you are a totally natural storyteller.

I like the way you rip through dialogue, full steam ahead, never mind worrying about whether the reader’s keeping up—that’s our problem. It’s like, if you can’t get this story out out of your system, it will explode out of you anyway.

So congrats on a great romcom Chapter One, complete with title card. You done real good! 

[LaLatin]

This bloody is brilliant. Can't wait for more.