How long do you stay at a sex club when there is very little sex happening?

[NWUSHorny]

I went to a Cumunion Party at one of the sexclubs here in Portland with a fairly large crowd, I left after spending a little over 4 hours even more sexually frustrated than when I arrived. To be fair, there were guys coupling up, no groups, and sucking and fucking passionlessly for maybe 30 seconds to a minute before moving on, so not as bad as it can get. I did stick my dick in several guys, all of them just laid there with no reaction at all to being fucked. None of them were cummy or even loosed up, no surprise there. Luckily it didn't completely kill my my hard on (which frequently happens on nights like this), but I was unable to cum under the circumstance. I even managed to get fucked breifly, but unfortunately the guy who topped me couldn't stay hard. Mostly I spent my evening "hooking up" with time wasters who don't participate in fucking, or in many cases even sucking (which I consider to be foreplay not sex). There have been quite a few times in the last year when I've run out the clock on my admission in the fruitless hope that someone who actually enjoys sex would show up.

I also fully acknowlege that things could have been worse, I've spent more than 4 completly sexless hours in bathhouses in the PNW many times. More than a few of those sexless occasions were supposed to be Cumunion Parties.

What do you do in these situations?

Unfortunately they are the norm, not just off nights here.

[VersGuyAnon]

Last time I went to the sauna (equating it to "sex club" description), I arrived around 2pm and left at 8pm. Nothing had happened two hours in, so I figured I wouldn't be staying that long. Then after a fuck nothing for ages. Again I thought about actually heading off, but bizarrely I had a few guys fuck and load me pretty much one after the other. It's taught me to be patient and not worry about getting nothing/little, because it can all change very quickly. 

[Treehugger]

Sorry to hear the party was such a dud and even more sorry I wasn’t there to help kick things up a notch, hopefully next time. 
     I have spent a lot of lonely hours in bathhouses and bookstores waiting for action. I can be very patient so if I paid my money I am usually in it for the long haul. I’ve been known to spend a couple days at a time back when they had 12 hour rentals and no limit on renewing. 

[KylerIsTrash]

@NWUSHorny that sux man. Sometimes I debate whether to lay there and act like I’m passed out so the top can take advantage of the situation or really engage and hard fuck with the top. Either way I’m enjoying the dick. 
One thing I’m conscious about as BTM is not being on my phone when I’m getting railed.

I usually stay a minimum of 12 hours. If I leave with anything less than 15 loads, my night feels wasted.

I usually regret staying at the club past 4am. Usually the 3am-8am is dead and I’m laying there for no reason. Sometimes I’ll go 4 hours with no load.

[BadBob]

I used to go to saunas in the UK. Whether it was busy or not, depended mostly on the time of day and day of the week. I was happy to stay until I got what I wanted/needed. I've noticed that saunas aren't as popular as they used to be, especially among the younger crowd. I think apps have had a huge affect on attendance. 

[NWUSHorny]

21 minutes ago, Treehugger said:

I have spent a lot of lonely hours in bathhouses and bookstores waiting for action. I can be very patient so if I paid my money I am usually in it for the long haul. I’ve been known to spend a couple days at a time back when they had 12 hour rentals and no limit on renewing. 

Part of my problem is I had never experienced that prior to moving to the PNW. I went every Friday and Saturday night, and was never lonely or felt the need to spend more than 3 or 4 hours to get completely satiated. On the rare occasions I did stay longer, it was because the action was so off the wall that I couldn't pry myself away.

For the 1st 10+ years I lived in Portland, I was usually traveling 75% or more of the time, so as long as I wasn't working on projects in the PNW I was able to take care of most of my needs during the week. There were years when I didn't set foot inside a Portland sexclub, if I was working on projects in cities where I knew I could get laid Monday through Thursday night, it simply wasn't worth the frustration. Then I got hit with a major health crisis, and just as I recovered from that to the point I was starting to travel and hookup again, COVID hit. So far traveling for work hasn't recovered from COVID, my work is almost exclusively remote.

I made the decision this summer to stop spend so much time in the sexclub just waiting, 1) because the results were disappointing at best, 2) it was actually impacting other parts of my life. I changed employers this year and luckily I have the opportunity to relocate, and am planning on doing so this spring. The only hard requirements I have are internet access and proximity to a major airport, so I can factor in how easy it is to get laid when I choose where I want to live.

[NWUSHorny]

18 minutes ago, KylerIsTrash said:

One thing I’m conscious about as BTM is not being on my phone when I’m getting railed.

Luckily they do a good job of enforcing the no phones in public play spaces here. I'm not even going to approach someone trying to room cruise and use their phone at the same time. I have noticed there are a lot of guys that spend most of their visit checking the apps in the locker room or private room. Does that ever work? I've made a couple of half hearted attempts, but have never succeeded in hooking up with an apps user in the club, I don't have the patience. Apparently "want to fuck in the _____ room" isn't an acceptable opening for an apps user at a sexclub.

[NWUSHorny]

36 minutes ago, KylerIsTrash said:

Sometimes I debate whether to lay there and act like I’m passed out so the top can take advantage of the situation or really engage and hard fuck with the top. Either way I’m enjoying the dick. 

If you lived anywhere else I would advise you to do the latter. My observation is in cities that have a lot of activity is that the active engaged bottoms get the action. Of course I'm biased since I prefer an active bottom, and am always active when I bottom. In the extreme passive aggressiveness of the PNW, the former may actually be a better choice, and if so I'm completely incompatible.

[inmyass262]

1 hour ago, Treehugger said:

Sorry to hear the party was such a dud and even more sorry I wasn’t there to help kick things up a notch, hopefully next time. 
     I have spent a lot of lonely hours in bathhouses and bookstores waiting for action. I can be very patient so if I paid my money I am usually in it for the long haul. I’ve been known to spend a couple days at a time back when they had 12 hour rentals and no limit on renewing. 

I really miss the 12h rentals. 🙁

[Guest]

@NWUSHorny sorry you had such a bad experience. 

I do wonder if some of this might be a matter of expectations vs reality. For a lot of folks, going to a sex club or a bathhouse is about getting used or using others. It’s not about intimacy. Its often more about quantity rather than quality.

An ass up bottom taking cock is often looking to collect loads and will serve their hole up for anyone and everyone.

Similarly, many a top is just looking for a warm wet hole to fuck; often they’ll fuck multiple holes before dumping their load — and treat bottoms as a cumdumps — nothing more than a fleshlight.  

I know a number of guys who aren’t into kissing/making out or oral as well; they are cumjunkies looking to take cock and cum up their cunt rather than down their throat.  

It could also be that you’re not what the other guys are looking for that evening (this has happened with me at times — I’ll go to a club where I’ve taken multiple loads from a large number of guys a couple nights before and be generally ignored this time around — not about me or them, just a reality when you’re looking to get off with strangers who may or may not find you attractive on the night). 

I guess what I’m trying to say is that if what you want or are looking for is different than what the others want or are looking for, it may just be that you’re looking in the wrong place.

You (me, and others for that matter) are not entitled to sex (or foreplay) at a sex club. I accept that what I want from a sex club experience may be very different from what others want/expect — I don’t particularly enjoy being rejected (directly or indirectly) but I don’t blame or criticize others for not sharing my interests or meeting my expectations.

All that said, as for how long I stay? I typically will give it a few hours before I head home when I do hit a dry patch. A lot depends on how busy the place is (if not busy, I’ll likely wait longer in hopes of a growing crowd) and the hour (again, my timing may depend on whether it’s prime time, or very late or early).

[hntnhole]

2 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

What do you do in these situations?

I'm not unfamiliar with this kind of situation.  The "vibe" isn't right - no guys are making pigs of themselves.  If you can identify another pig that's wondering when the fun will start too, maybe approach him and say something like "wanna help me get this mess sorted out?  Let's stir this pot and get things cranked up"  Sometimes, it takes a couple of guys to turn the key and presto - the engine roars to life.  

Or, just announce something like "who's here to fuck/get fucked?"  Sometimes it's surprising how little it can take to give that last liiiiittle tiiiiiiny push to get everyone over the edge.  It happened more in Chicago than Ft. L., as I recall.  

If nothing works, I just ditch and try another joint.  Sometimes, we can make things happen, sometimes we can't.  

Edited October 16, 2022 by hntnhole

[Webster9]

If I'm just going for a maximum number of cocks fucking my ass, a dark room never disappoints.  But, I really prefer to kick back in a sling where I can watch the tops fucking me.  Plus, for some reason, it usually draws a large group of men who either want to watch me getting fucked, or they want to take their turn on my ass.  I get off on watching AND being watched.  Either way, I think that it's important to look hot (I think that my bare ass leather chaps do the trick), and to show that I'm available to be fucked (kicking back in the sling).  Plus, I have a certain amount of patience because I know that some times I seem to be a cock magnet, and other times I might as well be invisible.

[NWUSHorny]

@DCSluthole I am the guy that is looking for quality over quantity, and don't like a lot of foreplay and certainly am not going to be satisfied with just foreplay. I love cum junkies, and being a cum junkie as well as sampling multiple holes and poles before I cum. I love  group sex, which rarely happens in sexclubs here. Last night wasn't an isolated episode, it wasn't even anywhere near as bad as it can get for this area. Believe it or not I do live in a major city, that is 2 and a half hours from another even larger city that is even harder to get uninhibited sexclub fucking than where I live. I agree with you that I'm looking in the wrong places, my problem is I have to travel a thousand miles to find sexclubs with the kind of action I enjoy, and the problem isn't limited to just sexclubs it is pervasive anywhere guys go to hookup.

@hntnhole
Maybe I need to put Chicagoland higher on my list of places to relocate (my main objections to Chicago are; it is too close to family, and there is nothing nearby that even resembles a hill let alone a mountain). I did actually start fucking a guy who is normally a pig in the sling last night, but even he wasn't reacting to getting plowed. Maybe he sucumbs to the low sexual energy vibe, I know I do part of the time. I agree that the strategy would work well in Chicago. I think I will leave Ft. Lauderdale as a place to visit.

Edited October 16, 2022 by NWUSHorny

[TwinkChaserSlut]

7 hours ago, VersGuyAnon said:

Last time I went to the sauna (equating it to "sex club" description), I arrived around 2pm and left at 8pm. Nothing had happened two hours in, so I figured I wouldn't be staying that long. Then after a fuck nothing for ages. Again I thought about actually heading off, but bizarrely I had a few guys fuck and load me pretty much one after the other. It's taught me to be patient and not worry about getting nothing/little, because it can all change very quickly. 

Persistence pays off. 😝😛😜🤪😛

[SFSloppyAznBottom]

I usually set a cut off time if I got zero action after arriving for a while.

If nothing happen for another hour, I’ll move on. Minimizes the frustration