Promises Made To Cumdumps

[ErosWired]

In an episode of the British sci-fi program Doctor Who, the Cyber Leader says, “Promises made to humans have no validity.” After having, of course, made one. The cybermen consider human beings inferior beings fit only as material to serve their own needs.

I have decided that there is an unwritten understanding among users of internet apps that Promises Made To Cumdumps Have No Validity.

The problem of men telling s cumdump they’re going to do one thing and then doing the opposite, something else, or nothing at all, is becoming epidemic. Now, clearly, this isn’t limited to cumdumps - happens all over the net because electronic people aren’t really people, right? The thing about cumdumps, though, is that they do it to your face. Two different Tops tonight fucked me, then said they were coming back to finish and drop the load. Never saw them. Why is this a problem? Because I waited in the room so they didn’t miss their chance.

Sure, there are lots of reasons they may not have been able to in spite of intentions, but the point is, no one thinks to inform the cumdump, or even remember anything the thing was said to the cumpdump, or yet even that the cumdump whose body they just used for their base pleasure even exists.

Because a cumdump is not considered s person in the same way as others.

Oh, and they routinely steal our poppers. A bottle stolen at every one of the last three hostings. There’s no goddamn excuse for it.

 

Food for thought.

 

Edited November 13, 2022 by ErosWired

[ErosWired]

And now let me ice this fucking cake and put a cherry on top. So while I’m ass up at the bathhouse this 27-year-old Top hits me up on Grindr, but says he can’t come to the bathhouse because he’s DL, and asks if I can come to his place. I explain why I can’t, but suggest I could stop by at midnight if he wants at the start of my 3-hour drive home. He says yes, please, he will still be up. I ask for the address, he provides one. This is at 9:30. The last couple of hours at CumUnion are pretty dead because - drum roll - it snowed half an inch in Indy yesterday, first ‘icing’ of the year. Temps below freezing.

So I decide that rather than make the dude wait any longer for his fuck than necessary, I up stakes at the bathhouse at 11:30, go out and remove the snow from my car, drive out of my way to his place, and message him on Grindr to say I’ve arrived, midnight on the dot.

Crickets. Cold crickets, because it’s freezing.

The address is an apartment block.

He’s not online. I wait 15 minutes. He ghosts me in his own fucking parking lot.

 I did manage to get a message sent to give him directions straight to hell; I like to think he saw it, because by the time I got home he had blocked me.

 

 

[steve-tmq]

None of this is acceptable even for a cumdump, apart from maybe the poppers but I would always ask first because they can cost.

[Pozguyinchi]

I have had these things happen to me many many times. Men are primal. They want what they want now. In Bath houses they want to fuck as many holes as possible. I find that if they don’t breed you while they are in you, it is not likely that they will return to finish later. I have better luck in video/book stores for that. I now also avoid going to a man’s house for hook up. 1st it’s easier for a bottom to be on home ground. So to speak. Second if a top flakes you are already at home and can start to look for the next guy. 

Edited November 13, 2022 by Pozguyinchi

[NWUSHorny]

I think there are several issues here, that aren't specific to cumdumps.

1) Guys that are using the apps to fuel their fantasy jack off sessions rather than actually hookup.

2) Guys that enjoy the pursuit more than the sex itself. Some posters here have expressed that they enjoy looking for the hookup far more than the actual hookup. Also having attempted to cruise hookups in the PNW has led me to the conclusion that there are guys that enjoy the attention that comes from the pursuit sex, but have absolutely no interest in the physical act of sex itself. I'm convinced some of them get off on actually preventing fucks from happening.

[hntnhole]

22 hours ago, ErosWired said:

The problem of men telling s cumdump they’re going to do one thing and then doing the opposite, something else, or nothing at all, is becoming epidemic

I think what you're describing is endemic across the country since the "secret veil" was ripped off a certain segment of our population in a different context.  Once dishonesty became the coinage of a large chunk of the population, the coarsening of our society has deepened quickly.  The fact is, where would men like me be without cumdumps?  Up a damn creek, that's where.  Once the binding elements of any social structure are gnawed at enough, the binds loosen, and the behavior worsens.  I think you can and should call out these self-encrusted men that steal your stuff, make appointments and not keep them, all of that negative stuff.  The internet may enable them to behave selfishly, but it can also enable them to be shamed for their own selfishness.  

[ErosWired]

2 hours ago, hntnhole said:

The internet may enable them to behave selfishly, but it can also enable them to be shamed for their own selfishness. 

Actually, I have given thought to how this kind on online behavior can be curtailed, but can’t think of any really practical way in an environment where everything is done behind an alias. There is no way to hold anyone accountable for anything. An offender can block the person they harmed and never have to give him another thought. You can’t call out someone or publicly shame them, because a simple change of username disassociates them from any blame. There’s no way to set up a system to report bad behavior like this, because there’s no way to verify something like a ghosting, plus, the offender could just issue a false counterclaim, and any such system would quickly be abused by people with malicious or petty motives to make trouble for others. It’s the simple impunity of it that makes the problem so intractable, and so likely to get worse.

[Kayne]

I remember this behavior from long before the the web was as ubiquitous as it is today. I used to hate getting stood up like this with chat lines assholes. 

Its just gotten worse over time sadly.

[hntnhole]

7 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Actually, I have given thought to how this kind on online behavior can be curtailed,

Clearly more than I have, and in greater depth.  BZ is the only website I use at all, and it's well-regulated, so I don't experience a lot of the problems other guys do.  Hopefully someone will figure it out.

[tighthole64]

7 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

Clearly more than I have, and in greater depth.  BZ is the only website I use at all, and it's well-regulated, so I don't experience a lot of the problems other guys do.  Hopefully someone will figure it out.

Oh there are guys on here that make promises, and don't deliver sadly.  I just don't feel the need to call them out in that one day they might deliver on their promises.

I don't think that the reason is that a guy is a cumdump.  I think most here are.  With due respect, htnhole is a cum dumper rather than a dump, and I respect him for that, just as I respect any dumps here.  They make it clear on what they want.

On other gay sites, there are way more guys just living fantasies.  Sitting at home jacking.  Never really going out for sex, etc. Yes some here are living fantasies too, but that's often how things become reality.  

[NWUSHorny]

@tighthole64

Just curious are you actually using BZ to hookup?

[hntnhole]

As some of you guys may know, I don't use the hookup apps at all, mostly because they've been disappointing more than they've proved productive.  

What I can't figure out though, is why some guy would want to carry around the knowledge that he's lied to other guys, mislead other guys, misrepresented himself, all of that negative bs, and it sticks to us.  There's no way to do some shit, and then it simply disappears.  We carry the shit we've done with us, however ephemerally, and it piles up after a while, whether through the ether or in the flesh.  When it starts to outweigh the kind things we've done, we're only fucking ourselves up.  It doesn't cost one thin dime to be decent to our brothers-in-the-life, and it accrues negatively when we don't.  I had to learn that lesson the hard way, but I did learn it.  

For that matter, the principle applies to every aspect of our lives.  It's so much easier to just be upfront, respectful with each other.  And then, get down to the tasks at - well, for some guys, at 'hand", but for most of us probably more generically queer.  

[ErosWired]

4 hours ago, hntnhole said:

There's no way to do some shit, and then it simply disappears.  We carry the shit we've done with us, however ephemerally, and it piles up after a while, whether through the ether or in the flesh.  When it starts to outweigh the kind things we've done, we're only fucking ourselves up.

This is not true of everyone. In the extreme manifestations, sociopathy and psychopathy render individuals quite capable of performing antisocial acts without remorse. The rise in this type of behavior suggests an increasingly antisocial trend.

[steve-tmq]

6 hours ago, ErosWired said:

This is not true of everyone. In the extreme manifestations, sociopathy and psychopathy render individuals quite capable of performing antisocial acts without remorse. The rise in this type of behavior suggests an increasingly antisocial trend.

Yes your right, very true.  Too many look at their own psyche and the ones they see or make up form what they think they see then apply it to everyone.

[tighthole64]

19 hours ago, NWUSHorny said:

@tighthole64

Just curious are you actually using BZ to hookup?

I have not hooked up with anyone from here yet.  Not to say it hasn't been discussed though.  There are some guys I'd love to hook up with here though.  Hookup aps tend to be geocentric and although not fond of them, they tend to lead to more hookups while traveling.

As a true chaser, I find BZ to be a great place to read accounts of those already in the Brotherhood.  In several cases, I have initiated private conversations with them.  BZ was not instrumental in my decision to chase, that was personal.  I did however chat with several guys that helped answer some questions or concerns.