Advice for talking about possible STI exposure

[pulcish]

Recently had a great great hookup with someone. Usually for me hookups are just quick I bend over and get bred. This hookup was passionate, lot of kissing and I topped as well (hasn't happened for months). Next day I noticed a deep red/purple patch on the head of my penis (like almost a bruise or blood vessel popping) which has left a shiny patch of skin. Then a few days later my throat became sore and looks bad. 

I am getting tested today but I am wondering about good advice how to tell this person that I may have gotten an STI from them or exposed them to an STI? I hope to hookup with them again so I am not trying to burn any bridges. 

[pazz41]

To be honest it sounds like the way you've worded it here would be perfect. We are adults, we have unprotected sex with strangers we have to accept that this happens sometimes, nobody's fault.

[Close2MyBro]

If you're diagnosed with something, just let them know that you were and that you're not sure how you go it, but you wanted to let them know so that they can get screened too. I remember years ago getting a call from the health department telling me I was exposed to and STI. I knew exactly who it had to be because I had just came out of a long dry spell and that was the only person I had been with. I was grateful that at least he was honest enough to share the information with them so that they could contact me. I called my doctors office to let them know and they arranged for me to be treated the same day and took blood samples for testing. In most instances, they treat you pro-actively and await the results to come in after. In my case, I was negative, but having the knowledge gave me the ability to get treated.

[austin_submale]

5 hours ago, pulcish said:

Recently had a great great hookup with someone. Usually for me hookups are just quick I bend over and get bred. This hookup was passionate, lot of kissing and I topped as well (hasn't happened for months). Next day I noticed a deep red/purple patch on the head of my penis (like almost a bruise or blood vessel popping) which has left a shiny patch of skin. Then a few days later my throat became sore and looks bad. 

I am getting tested today but I am wondering about good advice how to tell this person that I may have gotten an STI from them or exposed them to an STI? I hope to hookup with them again so I am not trying to burn any bridges. 

You probably need to get tested so you know what if anything you've got before you proceed.

 

[viking8x6]

I'm always up-front and matter-of-fact about this subject, when it happens (which of course it does). I seldom get bad reactions from my partners (in fact, I can't recall any). STIs are a fact of life, and if someone is fucking with me, he's grown up and I expect him to do his share of adulting. I do occasionally get denial if I state that he was likely the source, which I sometimes do if I'm fairly certain, not in a judgmental way, but to provide him with maximum information so that he can better understand his own risks and will know that at least one of his other partners probably needs a heads-up (or is an asshole, which is also useful to know). More often, I get shock and profession of ignorance, which I take as a teachable moment and happily explain (sometimes at length) the salient details of the STI in question. This recently happened to me with a cute li'l 18-year-old cub who gave me crabs - he had no idea he had them, and didn't know the details of treatment, so I brought him up to speed. He seemed appreciative.

[myDNA4u]

STI's are just a part of life when like me you bareback with multiple anonymous guys. I get screened regularly, particularly after major multi-day play scenarios. If I do catch something, I always make a point of telling anyone who I know and have played with what's going on. I can't remember anyone freaking out, but then again my fuck buddies are pigs like me so they're not surprised. 

[Chuckynultien]

Get yourself tested and share the result with your hook-up. Just tell without judgement , it is just bad luck and the risk of all involved. 

[Pozguyinchi]

As a bottom… I think I start all of my responses like that. Lol. I have had many many sti’s over the years. Two things I have learned. One is that men are men and sti’s happen. Most of my encounters are anonymous and overlap so I isually can’t begin to narrow it down. I have had men come up to me at the bath house or video store and let me know they have tested positive for something or other. I appreciate them for that. The second thing is every time I have gotten an sti it never manifests itself the same way. Getting tested is really the only way to know for sure.

[PigBoyDallas]

On 12/14/2022 at 7:57 AM, pulcish said:

Recently had a great great hookup with someone. Usually for me hookups are just quick I bend over and get bred. This hookup was passionate, lot of kissing and I topped as well (hasn't happened for months). Next day I noticed a deep red/purple patch on the head of my penis (like almost a bruise or blood vessel popping) which has left a shiny patch of skin. Then a few days later my throat became sore and looks bad. 

I am getting tested today but I am wondering about good advice how to tell this person that I may have gotten an STI from them or exposed them to an STI? I hope to hookup with them again so I am not trying to burn any bridges. 

It sucks when you have a hot hookup with a guy you're into that might become a regular thing and this happens. The key here is to be honest, but keep it light and non-accusatory, and be apologetic. Remember, he hooked up too and he probably hooks up as much as you do too. I recently got gonorrhea again, which fucking sucks as I have to let guys I know and get with regular know about it. Some were pretty angry, others chills, most thanked me. But the tough part is also also played with a lot of guys where I don't know them, don't know their name/how to contact them, etc. But you know what? They're big boys. They were doing an anon hookup too and did it bare. Its the cost of business when you bareback.