Negative (violent) Grindr experiences

[soultrader7]

Hi all,

long time reader but first time poster. Really enjoy this forum and it’s content and have been looking for a reason or way to contribute until this crossed my mind today. 

Recently I have been sucking a lot of cock from random Grindr meets. I’m closeted bi - I think - and apart from some experiences when I was much younger I am a total noob. One night a few months ago I just took the plunge and got over my fears, and I’ve been hooked since. I am only interested in sucking cock and swallowing cum and nothing more. 

Recently, and I don’t really know why, I’ve become paranoid that I’m going to show up to a meet spot and get beat up or robbed or something. I have no idea where this idea has come from, but it’s been in the back of my mind for a few weeks now and I’m thinking that I could probably be a little more careful. Part of the fun for me though is that I don’t ask questions - I just ask the location and I show up to suck and swallow. Maybe I need to change my modus operandi.

Has anyone had any negative experiences of this kind? What can I do to be more safe/cautious?

Fortunately I’ve never had a bad experience so I don’t have anything to share. 

thanks 

Edited December 30, 2022 by soultrader7

[kinkatx]

I’ve had a TON of anon sex and never really had anything like you described happen. A sex toy was stolen from my house once.

 

That said; at least carry something like pepper spray so you have something for self defense. I carry a POM pepper spray device, it’s tiny, cheap, available on Amazon. 

[Barebacker831]

Go train Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. You’ll be able to defend yourself against most anyone. Seriously 

[austin_submale]

6 hours ago, soultrader7 said:

Hi all,

long time reader but first time poster. Really enjoy this forum and it’s content and have been looking for a reason or way to contribute until this crossed my mind today. 

Recently I have been sucking a lot of cock from random Grindr meets. I’m closeted bi - I think - and apart from some experiences when I was much younger I am a total noob. One night a few months ago I just took the plunge and got over my fears, and I’ve been hooked since. I am only interested in sucking cock and swallowing cum and nothing more. 

Recently, and I don’t really know why, I’ve become paranoid that I’m going to show up to a meet spot and get beat up or robbed or something. I have no idea where this idea has come from, but it’s been in the back of my mind for a few weeks now and I’m thinking that I could probably be a little more careful. Part of the fun for me though is that I don’t ask questions - I just ask the location and I show up to suck and swallow. Maybe I need to change my modus operandi.

Has anyone had any negative experiences of this kind? What can I do to be more safe/cautious?

Fortunately I’ve never had a bad experience so I don’t have anything to share. 

thanks 

You don't say what state or city you are in.  Your options for what self defense choices you have vary widely depending on where you live.  Make sure you are familiar with the laws before you choose.  Some places even prohibit things like pepper spray or electric stun devices.  It might be a good idea if you are concerned to take some classes in self defense including situational awareness.

I personally don't really worry, because I'm prepared, but you need to make the right decisions for yourself.

 

[sub4oralcum]

   The only problem I've had in hooking up was with a guy that sent me to the wrong house. On purpose. He lured me in with pictures of a big beautiful cock and promises of a huge load. When I showed up to the address he gave, he told me to go around back and to come on in.

   Something didn't feel right and I hesitated when I encountered a gate. While I was standing there, a small dog began barking. That did it for me and I turned to leave. Just then a man came around the corner and asked if he could help me. I told him I was at the wrong house and he asked me if this had anything to do with Grindr. I answered, "yes," and he said, in a friendly manner, I wasn't the first guy to show up at his house responding to a Grindr invitation.

   I respectfully excused myself and left the premises. A few weeks later, the asshole tried to do it again and gave the same address. I don't know what his game was but this event caused me to virtually stop hooking up at people's houses. I get most of my cock at the bookstore now with occasional success at a rest stop or park. 

[Guest]

You do need to keep your wits about you.  There was a report in the new york times in december about gay men getting drugged and robbed over this year. Some were drugged in gay bars and left with men who took them home or got into taxis with the victims.  The criminals got their credit cards and ATM cards. The report also mentioned how some men were drugged during Grindr hookups. 

LIke others commenting here, I've experienced the fake address scam -- you show up where the address should be but it doesn't exist. Annoying as hell, but not dangerous. Then there's the fake profile scam -- someone shows up as planned except it's not the person you expected. I was expecting a handsome, fit Black man I'd been chatting with to show up at my apartment. Instead I opened the door to a scrawny, creepy older white guy.  Did he think I wouldn't notice? Well I did notice and I sent him packing. There's been only one occasion that was dicey. A guy showed up for a blowjob but he was hostile and paranoid from the moment he arrived. That ended quickly but I was wary of his hostility and paranoia so I was very direct and clear that the hookup was not going to happen and that he should leave immediately.  He did. 

The truth is that most hookups are decent people and nothing to worry about if you have your wits about you. A profile that is mostly blank, or has no pics, or is very new are possible red flags. 

[Sub-Cocksucker]

I guess I should start out by saying that I am extremely submissive and truly addicted to sucking cock. Especially strangers.

I spend a lot of time on Grindr and a big turn on to me is sucking off anybody that contacts me. I don't ask any questions the only thing I discuss up front is that I am not into kissing or cuddling or anything else. I am simply a submissive cocksucker that wants to be fed cock. If they are okay with that I asked them when and where.

If you feel you're similar to the description I give of myself then honestly you should be prepared to be put in some sketchy seedy situations. Most of the time my craving to suck cock completely overrides any amount of common sense that I should have about the meetups.

I have met up with guys that were definitely lying on their profile. Nothing like they describe themselves as. Some of these men have honestly been some dirty disgusting men. Which is a shock at first but then they will say something dirty or derogatory to me or show me their cock and it's all over at that point I will drop to my knees.

Even though I am in the closet my cock addiction puts me on my knees and some risky places. I meet guys pretty much anywhere they say just to make it happen. This makes me end up at a lot of cruising spots or parks.

As far as any violent hookups I have definitely had my share of dominant men that slapped me around and fucked my throat till I puked in just about passed out.

One of the most violent was the time I met a guy in a park at night. As soon as I walked up to him he whipped out his thick uncut cock and told me to get on my fagot knees and suck it. This is course triggered me so I obeyed an eagerly sucked his cock. A couple minutes later I heard a voice from behind me say so the fagot showed up huh.

This startled me I pulled off his cock turned to look and the guy grabbed me by the hair turned me back towards his cock and slapped the shit out of me. I saw stars. Turns out two other guys showed up and the three of them spent the next 30 or 40 minutes fucking my mouth and ass.

To be clear I like to be used I like it kind of rough but this was way rougher than I wanted and many times I asked them to stop or take it easy. Then of course just made them slap me around more and use me even harder. I left the park with ripped clothes covered and cum.

No the fucked up part that messes with my head is the fact that I'm rock hard just from typing this out. And part of me thinks that I don't have the right to complain about what happened to me. If I'm this much of a cocksucker if I'm this submissive if I'm willing to drop to my knees and suck off dirty nasty old men then the rest of these men should be able to use me the way they want.

[Bwccummer]

I had watched in past a program I think titled "Hooked Up for Murder" the one episode remember was how one in UK United Kingdom used grindr to commit serial murder. One victim was a former retired British police officer that wanted to be blindfolded and tied up. Seems that is risky if not know partner or not able to free self from rope, etc if need to move. The individual was caught. However if recall at least 4 victims. Been awhile since saw so could have been more victims. 

I find best to take precautions and if get a feeling something seems wrong to leave.

[tallslenderguy]

Life is risky. We risk dying or getting brutally mangled every time we get in a car to go to the store. Perspective, eh?  We rarely think about it, but lots of activities are risky. We risk getting an STD every time we have sex, but then, we risk getting a disease going to Walmart (especially Walmart). But there's social stigma attached to getting an STD, but not one for getting the flu from going to the store (except Walmart).

We can't remove all risk, there are things we can do to reduce risk. i'm in the >1000 cocks club, most anonymous hook up. For years, my primary way of hooking was hosting at my house. i think that can reduce risk, being on familiar turf. if i feel off about someone, i don't do it... but that is really rare. i've only ever had one guy who tried to get a little rough with me (not in a way i perceived as 'good'), it was all body language. i resisted by more of an offensive vs defensive stance, and he chilled out instantly. i am a trained martial artist, so i can defend myself if i have to, but i have never felt that threatened in all my years of doing this (decades).

i often do anonymous walk in and some guys are (reasonably) concerned about walking into a strangers house. That is easily solved on either side (host or visitor). i tell them i will put a note on the door that says: "this is the place."  The morons who send you to a fake address aren't going to do that. 

When hosting, i'm always face down on my bed and naked, but i have my cell phone hidden and easily accessible.

 

[hntnhole]

On 12/31/2022 at 9:36 AM, Turbocs37 said:

I don't know what his game was

He probably lives nearby, and and sits there by a window trying to jack his flaccid dick watching the guys show up, the neighbor come out, blah blah blah.  Pitiful.  But, no way for you to know either, so don't feel badly about it.  I think almost every guy has been suckered at some point.  

[hntnhole]

1 hour ago, tallslenderguy said:

but then, we risk getting a disease going to Walmart (especially Walmart)

HAHAHAHAHAHA ..... shucks - whaddya mean ..... Walmart gots good stuff for cheap .... good to know nobody gets flu there though .... 

[VersatileBreeder]

I’ve been hooking up with various apps (Grindr, BBRT, Scruff, Sniffies) over the past 15 or so years and have not had any major negative issues. Definitely none violent. 
The worst that I have had have been flakes and guys who play games. I would say that 99% of the guys who agree to meet up are just other horny dudes who want to have some fun. 

It sounds like you like to keep the online interaction as brief as possible and just get down to business. That’s cool and all but just remember- the less of a feel that you have for who a guy is, the greater risk that he may not be who he presents himself as or that his intention might not be what he stated. 
 

One thing for me is I always ask for a face pic, I will not meet without one. I need to see the face of the person I’m meeting.

[topblkmale]

16 hours ago, VersatileBreeder said:

One thing for me is I always ask for a face pic, I will not meet without one. I need to see the face of the person I’m meeting.

I wonder if there are still guys out there who will meet each other WITHOUT face pics. I have had to block local faceless profiles on Grindr who have said they have seen me going to work. I don't need that kind of attention.

I live in a dense urban area. I would NOT recommend hooking up with sketchy folks who live within > 1000 to 4000 feet. I've had two previous hook-ups show up at my place randomly unannounced and WAIT.