Straight Top

[Bottom Jim]

I met a guy on sniffles who said he was a straight top. He liked to fuck guys in the ass and cum in them. He insisted he was 100% straight 

In my world that is a huge contradiction If you like to fuck guys then you cannot be 100% straight Gay of bi yes 

what do you guys think

[Njn0mc]

1 hour ago, Bottom Jim said:

I met a guy on sniffles who said he was a straight top. He liked to fuck guys in the ass and cum in them. He insisted he was 100% straight 

In my world that is a huge contradiction If you like to fuck guys then you cannot be 100% straight Gay of bi yes 

what do you guys think

Its so funny when they say they are straight.. I have had a few tops said I was the first fuck and they definitely knew what to do. Especially when it came to sucking.. I even said your bi to one and he said no I'm straight.  I chuckled a little.

[PigBoyDallas]

Not all that uncommon. For them any hole's the goal and I'm down to be that hole. They don't want the drama and strings of fucking a girl, worrying they're gonna knock her up, etc. I'm down for them to fuck me and rawdog me which most love that I'm down for. I don't just them for it, not for me to say whether they're straight or not or put a label on them.

[Justaholeff]

1 hour ago, PigBoyDallas said:

Not all that uncommon. For them any hole's the goal and I'm down to be that hole. They don't want the drama and strings of fucking a girl, worrying they're gonna knock her up, etc. I'm down for them to fuck me and rawdog me which most love that I'm down for. I don't just them for it, not for me to say whether they're straight or not or put a label on them.

I totally agree! If his brain is wired for women and prefers pussy but, any hole is a goal then he sounds like a typical red blooded straight guy! I think it's a generational thing too. Younger men have the internet, exposed to porn more, homosexuality is talked about in the open, and I think straight men are getting more comfortable in their skin and willing to open up to get a nut!

Look, woman have been open to having sex with each other and have never been locked in a box of being straight or lesbian. They are labeled on what they say they are. Men are catching up.

[VistaCaBB]

Is just denial.  He can not accept that at a minimum he is Bisexual. 

[PigBoyDallas]

37 minutes ago, Justaholeff said:

I think it's a generational thing too. Younger men have the internet, exposed to porn more, homosexuality is talked about in the open, and I think straight men are getting more comfortable in their skin and willing to open up to get a nut!

You're right. Guys my age aren't hung up on that gay/bi/straight rigid labels stuff. I have straight buds who have admitted they've tried stuff with guys and didn't care for it, but some admitted they did but didn't want to be exclusively with guys as they felt it was too limiting. I knew straight guys who watched gay porn who were curious about what it was like and would ask questions about what I did sexually. And I was open about it. They could ask me why I didn't try getting with girls and I admitted I had and it just wasn't my thing. 

[onecutegirl]

52 minutes ago, Justaholeff said:

I totally agree! If his brain is wired for women and prefers pussy but, any hole is a goal then he sounds like a typical red blooded straight guy! I think it's a generational thing too. Younger men have the internet, exposed to porn more, homosexuality is talked about in the open, and I think straight men are getting more comfortable in their skin and willing to open up to get a nut!

Look, woman have been open to having sex with each other and have never been locked in a box of being straight or lesbian. They are labeled on what they say they are. Men are catching up.

This!

[bbzh]

Whatever he labels himself as trumps any label that anyone else tries to put on him. A not too deep dive into research done on MSM (men who have sex with men) will show that there is a subset of guys who will nut in you no problem and still see themselves as straight.

A carnivore that eats a vegetarian meal from time to time is still a carnivore. If a carnivore is starving (horny), he is probably not going to turn down a vegetarian meal (any hole will do).

If a top is non-reciprocating (ie doesn't suck, touch or even look at your dick, or kiss or show any type of affection) and is focused only on getting off, then I can totally wrap my head around the idea that he sees himself as straight. Is a blindfolded horny man who is tricked into thinking he's fucking a woman but just came in a man's ass now gay?  Let's lose the labels. People are gonna do what they wanna do no matter what we call it🙃.   

[ErosWired]

Saying that a man is only and exactly what he says he is, because nobody gets to label him, is nonsense. If a bird calls itself an eagle, but has webbed feet and a bill, it’s not an eagle, even if it firmly believes it is. This ‘straight’ guy does not do ‘straight’ things - he does homosexual things. He fucks males, and ejaculates into them. ‘Straight’ men, by definition, do not engage in this behavior, therefore, he is not ‘straight’.

In a world where sexuality had no labels, or categories, or judgments, ‘Any hole will do’ would go without saying - it would simply be the way of things, and nobody would think anything of it. In this world, ’Any hole will do’ is just a handy excuse for denial, a lot like ‘I was drunk’. Both are used as cover to allow the guy to attempt to credibly wear a ‘straight’ mask to cover his gay or bi reality. Suggesting that a guy is ‘straight’ because he has convinced himself he’s ‘straight’ and believes he’s ‘straight’ ignores the ubiquitous ability of the human brain to accept untruth as a coping mechanism, and allow him to exist outside the category he thinks he’s supposed to occupy.

You may note that throughout this post I’ve placed ‘straight’ in quotes, because science from Kinsey forward has demonstrated convincingly that human sexuality is a spectrum, and that true, absolute ‘straightness’ is on an extreme end, opposite true, absolute ‘gayness’. Everything in between is some combination of the two. For that reason, the labels are largely pointless anyway, but overlaying a label of ‘straight’ over three-quarters of the spectrum immediately illustrates that a significant percentage of the eagles are ducks calling themselves eagles.

You guys who say you’re not hung up on labels - fine, and good for you. Frankly, it would be a better world if nobody was categorized at all. But if you don’t go by labels, then you aren’t in a position to say what the labels do or don’t mean for those who do use them.

If the label is to be used, no, the dude the OP is asking about is not ‘straight’. Men who fuck men are not ‘straight’. They simply do not acknowledge or accept their actual nature.

[tallslenderguy]

Great topic Bottom Jim, thanks for posting.

When i think about this question, my mind goes back to the spectrum theory of human sexuality.  Looking at the big picture, there are no two people alike, but we can and do fall into general groups (in this case e.g., straight, gay, bi, etc..).   We use labels when it comes to communication, e.g., i self identify as "gay total bottom with some sub thrown in."  i use my label to try and present who and how i am sexually, in a general sense, but if someone is going to really connect with me, we're gonna have to talk and listen to each other.  i put that identifier out there routinely, yet frequently have guys approach me who want to suck my 'cock.'  If we talk, and they listen, they'll come to realize i do not perceive myself as having a "cock."  

lol, yeah, i know. i'm not self deluded, i realize i have a penis. i'm not wired trans, i don't want to lose my penis or have it wacked off... i like having one and it feels good physically to touch it, i just don't relate to it as a "cock."  i see a "cock" as a part a Man Who is Top has and wants to use it to penetrate others with for infinite and individual reasons.  

That's just one of many examples of how my label/self identifier term may mean something different to me than it does to someone else.  i think our labels are important and necessary, a vital piece of communication. i believe where we often get messed up with communication is with listening.  The referenced "straight" guy may be deluded, idk, but on the other hand i think it's important to listen and hear him (or anyone). There's a reason he is saying he is straight, there is something he wants the person he says that to to see, to grasp. Granted, he may not even know what that "something" is, but he is putting it out there and i think it's better for the listener to try and hear what he is saying vs. only taking their perspective as reality.  

There's two perceptions in the room, and both are real. i too would perceive this guy as "bi"  from my perspective, but i can also accept that he sees himself as straight... and since it's him we are talking about, i'll accept his label over my own.  i don't feel like i have to discard my perception/label, but i also don't want to impose my perception/label on him. It's okay for him to see and label himself differently than i do, and he owns his identity, i don't.  

[Breedingandseeding]

I think my problem with the “a hole is a hole” thing and the thinking that a guy can be straight but regularly hookup with men is that I as a gay man would never and have never hooked up with a woman even when the opportunity presented itself.  No matter how horny I am I’d rather my hand than a woman. 
 

 

[ErosWired]

4 hours ago, bbzh said:

A carnivore that eats a vegetarian meal from time to time is still a carnivore. If a carnivore is starving (horny), he is probably not going to turn down a vegetarian meal (any hole will do).

I’m afraid your analogy doesn’t hold up. Obligate carnivores do not turn to plant foods when meat is unavailable, because they are physically unable to digest plants. So, for them, any meal will not do. An animal able to digest both animal and plant matter is by definition not a carnivore, but an omnivore. Again, we’re back to labels, definitions, categories.

But we can’t always dispense with such things, because sometimes difference matters.

[ErosWired]

18 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

i don't feel like i have to discard my perception/label, but i also don't want to impose my perception/label on him. It's okay for him to see and label himself differently than i do, and he owns his identity, i don't.  

Just because a guy ranting on the sidewalk says, and believes, he’s Jesus, doesn’t mean I’m under any obligation to give deference to his perception over my own.

The question we grapple with is whether perception constitutes reality, or whether there is an absolute reality that exists outside of perception.

Regardless, the ownership of any man’s identity ends at the entrance to my cunt. From that point, I’m absolutely entitled to an opinion.

Edited April 18, 2023 by ErosWired

[tallslenderguy]

3 minutes ago, Breedingandseeding said:

I think my problem with the “a hole is a hole” thing and the thinking that a guy can be straight but regularly hookup with men is that I as a gay man would never and have never hooked up with a woman even when the opportunity presented itself.  No matter how horny I am I’d rather my hand than a woman. 
 

 

my mind went here too, i.e., what if it were reverse?  

my  story is all over BZ, came from a conservative religious culture and tried to be straight for half my life, blah, blah, blah.  i appeared to function as a straight guy, married, fucked a woman (a lot), made babies, etc..  But i was never straight.

After i divorced, i thought i might be Bi, based on the 'evidence' lol.  i dated a woman who was a PhD and a professor of women's studies, visiting prof from Germany.  She was good looking, intelligent and engaging. She also was lesbian... but had recently found she wanted to be with a man.  She told me that she was a leader in the lesbian community in Germany, and if many in that community knew she was pursuing a relationship with a man, she would be ostracized.  She wanted sex with me, and even though i had lots of experience fucking a woman, i didn't want it. All the right stuff was there for me, but i realized i really am "gay," not bi.  That was 15 years ago. my former wife is the only woman i have ever had sex with. 

i also dated a trans person during that period (FtM).  To this day i am not able to fully understand, but that didn't work for me either, even beyond the obvious that this person did not have a penis. Cognitively i accepted them as male, but beyond the physical, there was something/s about them that 'felt' female to me. They perceived their self as having a 'cock' of sorts (they fisted), and by my definition of "cock" they had more cock than i do, even though i have a penis-because they have the drive to penetrate. But that's my perception, i realize that's individual on my part. Ultimately though, we simply were not compatible. 

[tallslenderguy]

7 minutes ago, ErosWired said:

The question we grapple with is whether perception constitutes reality, or whether there is an absolute reality that exists outside of perception.

 

yep. "Absolute" identities seem to work better (socially) with cars than they do with sexuality.