Surplus of bottoms?

[austin_submale]

1 minute ago, NWUSHorny said:

To be fair, I'm no longer what would be considered young and hot, but can easily find the 10 to 15 guys to fuck me (not necessarily breed me) at sex clubs or orgies in Los Angeles in 2 or 3 hour period. However my experience is significantly more than half of those 10 to 15 guys are versatile and we wind up flip fucking.  Where as here in Portland, a town that is noted for an extreme surplus of bottoms I can go to the bathhouse spend 8 hours and strike out completely, and finding someone willing to flip fuck happens maybe half a dozen times a year. I have long observed that to get a lot of fucking as either a top or bottom you need to be in a place with versatile guys that are willing to act on their versatility. Here even the guys that claim to be versatile won't flip in a single session, or even in another session, once they have topped or bottomed with that guy that is their set position for all future hookups with the same guy.

Sounds like Portland and Austin are pretty similar as far as to the kind of guys we have.

Also sounds like maybe I need to think about visiting LA...  I haven't been there since well before I became a no load refused bareback bottom.

[austin_submale]

2 minutes ago, hungry_hole said:

This is absolutely true. When a bottom shoots his load, especially inadvertently, also stop being horny and many no longer want to continue bottom. When I used to go to saunas more often I knew that if I wanted to be able to use a public sling being monopolized by a bottom, the solution was to somehow make him cum. Most would jump off the sling and then I could use it.

This is what makes the cumdumps and cumholes. 

It's difficult to come to a consensus about the ratio of tops and bottoms but there are some facts.

A guy in his 70's or 80's who can hold a nice hard erection for long periods of time and who can then shoot a nice load, especially a raw hole, would have no problem finding sex partners. An older guy in the same age range who is looking to get fucked and bred won't be as lucky. To be lucky as a bottom it helps to be young.

 

Can't argue with that.

 

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

4 minutes ago, austin_submale said:

Yeah, I generally have as good or better luck meeting guys at the bookstore booths and theater than I do on the online sites.

I had luck with a bar in a nearby small city that is well known for hosting local bands. All sorts of people come for performances. Love of music is a great way to break the ice and get to talking with people. Once you start to make friends and aren't shy about what you are into, you start to build a network of friends introducing you to friends.

[austin_submale]

7 minutes ago, YourNoLimitsBottom said:

I had luck with a bar in a nearby small city that is well known for hosting local bands. All sorts of people come for performances. Love of music is a great way to break the ice and get to talking with people. Once you start to make friends and aren't shy about what you are into, you start to build a network of friends introducing you to friends.

Lots of live music venues here, but for various reasons, mainly being on the DL, that doesn't usually work out for me.  Bookstores are a different story for me because it's more open about why people are there.  I need to try some of the other cruising spots, but when I have, I've not found anyone there, or perhaps they just weren't interested in an older chub guy or whatever.  I haven't tried them as much because usually when I have time I just go to the bookstores.  But I should get over it and give them a try again some time I guess.

[NWUSHorny]

8 minutes ago, austin_submale said:

Sounds like Portland and Austin are pretty similar as far as to the kind of guys we have.

Also sounds like maybe I need to think about visiting LA...  I haven't been there since well before I became a no load refused bareback bottom.

The almost anywhere in the midwest or Denver/Colorado Springs would be closer for you. They are always good for me. Other than Minneapolis, I haven't had the chance recently, but I have been getting a lot of action in Minneapolis over the last year. I fucked and had my brains fucked out for the 9 years I lived in Denver, the move to Portland was quite a sex culture shock.

I used to have good luck in Dallas, back in the 90's when I lived there. The last time I even visited was more than 20 years ago, so it may have changed. The hookup apps were in their infancy.

[VersGuyAnon]

My sex life these days basically revolves around the sauna. Some days I'm there, I'm one of dozens of bottoms. Other days there are lots of tops and nowhere near as many bottoms. Then of course you have versatile guys, who flip flop all over the place.     

[YourNoLimitsBottom]

31 minutes ago, NWUSHorny said:

The other problem I encounter, which is true of bottoms, tops and versatile guys where I live is that they have too many inhibitions and restrictions on how they can fuck or get fucked that at least 50% of them are unsatisfying fucks after spending hours of wooing (cruising for a hookup isn't supposed to take hours to close the deal) to get them to do anything.

Damn, I never thought that would be an issue when it came to bottoms. But then again, I don't really converse with them in regard to having sex. I guess I've been equating all bottoms to myself, thinking we were all ready and willing to fuck at the drop of a hat. Being spontaneous and willing to jump into new situations really makes the sex better.

[LetsPOZBreed]

It certainly feels like there is a disparity - certainly in London for sure.  Yes, I'm an admitted vers bottom that LOVES getting fucked and filled - but I'm not a young twink anymore and know that I can't compete with those that are.

My modus operadi of late is that I'm not really into the cumdumping, anon scenarios.  Some tops and vers guys that I do message are of the variety that go for that sort of thing, though - wanting me to be blindfolded, asking me how many loads I've already taken.  It was a bit disappointing for a while, but I realised that any sex with them wouldn't be worth it.  So, the saunas became my go-to for a bit.  I'd def get action there, and that was satisfying for a while.  But I really did start to miss those really connected fucks where there was some sense of afterglow and just being with each other as we catch our breath - not the kind of play one usually gets at the saunas.

Another reason I don't top more lately is because I find some bottoms to be a bit pushy for my tastes.  Not saying all bottoms are, and certainly not disparaging any of you here.  I just remember back in my 20's when I topped far more than I do today - the attitude of the guys I would fuck just seemed different back then.  Not begging me for my cum after the third stroke in their hole; not instantly telling me how many loads they have already; not asking if I can bring any tops over to share him with; etc.  And the thing about cumdump scenes is that I enjoy quite a bit of foreplay and snogging before the main action - those scenes aren't really catered to that sort of thing.  Or I've had some bottoms come over and barely give a couple of bobs on my dick as a poor excuse of a blowjob before I get that look of "why aren't you fucking me yet".  If a guy can truly show that there's a genuine interest in ME fucking them, instead of it just being ANY guy fucking them, it makes my cock that much harder and my mind much more interested in topping him.  

[JamesL100]

I've said before but so many of those pushy btms and cumdumps are so off their faces that it is difficult for me to make/find a meaningful connection with them. On their bed they are roaming on apps looking for the next few guys while I give up fucking them. It has felt like babysitting somehow!

[bbpoznow]

If I am  your BOTTON  you will get my full attention un till you are done 

[LetsPOZBreed]

5 minutes ago, JamesL100 said:

I've said before but so many of those pushy btms and cumdumps are so off their faces that it is difficult for me to make/find a meaningful connection with them. On their bed they are roaming on apps looking for the next few guys while I give up fucking them. It has felt like babysitting somehow!

I left that part out, but yeah....the obvious guys that are clearly off their tits are a big reason I don't top more either.  Also, my topping 20's years were before iPhones and Grindr, et al, so there wasn't even the plausibility of phone-scrolling whilst fucking.

[topblkmale]

My Grindr app fills up with bottoms sending me random ass pics.

 

I seriously doubt bottoms on Grindr are overrun with dick pics from tops.

[marriedsub]

9 hours ago, Bottom Jim said:

I have found if you add married guys I have found tops in good supply Almost all married guys are tops. They just want an ass in fuck and nut in

5 hours ago, alphapoz said:

My experience has been that most married guys if not all have been bottoms. I do tend to have a rather domineering attitude so that may explain part of it. 

I know the statistics are pretty poor on this... actually based entirely on me, myself and I... anyway, it seems married men are in fact 100% bottoms 😜

[austin_submale]

12 minutes ago, JamesL100 said:

I've said before but so many of those pushy btms and cumdumps are so off their faces that it is difficult for me to make/find a meaningful connection with them. On their bed they are roaming on apps looking for the next few guys while I give up fucking them. It has felt like babysitting somehow!

Meaningful connection on a hookup?  I think if you're hooking up with that kind of cumdump looking for a relationship maybe that's wishful thinking in general.  But it is kind of disrespectful and un-sexy if they can't get off their phone long enough for a proper encounter...

What age are these?  Mostly GenZ or younger Millennials?  That kind of behavior I've seen with a lot of younger people mostly.

[viking8x6]

My impression is that there is a significant imbalance in numbers straight-up in most places I've been.

But the situation is greatly aggravated because, as others here have also observed, tops have performance limitations that don't apply to bottoms. They can only go so long without cumming (at least without discomfort), and after they cum, they generally lose interest (or at least erection - barring trimix) for a while. Four times is reasonable for younger guys, and older maybe half that.