Ever been really angry at a hookup?

[Iker80]

I've seen topics about has a guy ever been angry or aggressive with you during a hookup, but none asking if we've ever been that guy?

I had a meet with a guy who did something dumb. He decided to try choking me. We didn't talk about this and I didn't expect it. I've got some PTSD issues that I normally keep well enough in control of, but I'm kinda twitchy about my neck and I got very angry.

I don't want to be hooking up with anyone new at the moment now because I'm thinking what if they trigger something again. I'm going to think about it for a bit. I still feel ok with the guys I already know, I know they don't cause issues.

I'm wondering has anyone else had something like this experience?

[hntnhole]

23 minutes ago, Iker80 said:

He decided to try choking me

This is inexcusable.  When more advanced sexual acts/kinks are being considered (anything dealing with "forced" acts, for instance), there is absolutely a requirement for a "negotiation" prior to the meetup.  Corporal anything beyond fucking/sucking simply must be agreed upon by both parties, and before any action takes place.  

1.  You may not know if the other guy has any experience in the arts of B/d, S/m, and you don't want to find out the hard way.  The Leather Ethic* has always forbidden un-negotiated acts that can be dangerous.  

2.  In the event you're feeling like getting fucked, it's doubly important, since that would be assuming the submissive role, and might be misinterpreted by some asshole that you're ok with whatever he does.  That is never ok, and that guy is one to avoid.  I've posted elsewhere on BZ how to conduct a negotiation (which, btw, is the Top's responsibility), how to protect yourself, etc.  

3.  Insecure men who don't understand (or care to) that this is a serious consideration can wind up dead.  It used to happen a couple times a year back in Chicago.  

4.  Don't let one p.o.s. wannabe Dom wreck your Lusts - thankfully, there aren't all that many guys like your example around.  It's Saturday - go out tonight and fuck/get fucked as much as you can hold, and try to overcome this regrettable event.  It's not your fault; don't stew about it.  Just know that there are ignorant, wannabe poseurs out there, and be careful. 

Good luck !!

*ask the googler about the Gay Leather Ethic, if you're unfamiliar:  the first and most important concept is "never do intentional, physical harm to another person".  Or, look up the older posts here about it.  

[120DaysofSodom]

Had this one hookup once the guy was hot and he and I had talked a few times on grindr about him coming over to my place and id be face down ass up waiting for him to walk in and aggressively use me.

We did that one afternoon. The sex was amazing...

After though, we had a beer in my living room. He was looking around at all my art and started interrogating me about satanism. Then began preaching the gospel at me lmao

When I gave him my opinion on religion, namely that if the god of abraham were real (which he isnt) it would be absurd to worship such a thing with a track record that makes adolf hitler look like ghandi.

Well, he didnt like that much. Out of nowhere, he spit in my face. (normally this is a turn on when the guy is fucking me, but obviously not in a moment like this...)

I then stood up and grabbed my beer bottle and told him to get the fuck out of my apartment or id smash the bottle over his head as at that point I felt threatened. He got up and walked to the door, and as he was leaving, said, "that was so hot lets do it again some time"

...

[JavyX69]

It didn't progress to sex, but after arranging to go fuck this supposed "cumdump" off CL, who specifically only wanted to see cock pics, and walking all the the way to his place, he asked me to leave because "you never sent me a body pic". Which he never asked for and explicitly stated that he didn't need to see. It was humiliating, especially because some random twink was there too, but I was in such shock that I just walked out without saying anything. That's as mad as I've ever gotten.

Otherwise I've just been mildly annoyed with a couple guys that misrepresented themselves with 10-15 year outdated pics, but I didn't say anything and I got sucked off by both at least.

[backdoorjimmy]

I got mad enough to call off a hookup once when I was about 19 or 20. I got to this guy's place and he was all over me, kissing me, eating my ass, rubbing my back and stomach with his hands and just all in all turning me on. He pushed me to my knees so I could suck him off and I felt like the vibe was established. But when I came up for a kiss, he kinda pushed me away and said he never gave me consent to kiss him.

That was it. I got dressed and left while he started apologizing and begging me to change my mind. But it was too weird and honestly, I felt like I was being accused of being a sex pest. So I left and blocked him.

[JavyX69]

45 minutes ago, backdoorjimmy said:

I got mad enough to call off a hookup once when I was about 19 or 20. I got to this guy's place and he was all over me, kissing me, eating my ass, rubbing my back and stomach with his hands and just all in all turning me on. He pushed me to my knees so I could suck him off and I felt like the vibe was established. But when I came up for a kiss, he kinda pushed me away and said he never gave me consent to kiss him.

That was it. I got dressed and left while he started apologizing and begging me to change my mind. But it was too weird and honestly, I felt like I was being accused of being a sex pest. So I left and blocked him.

I don't blame you. I have a tongue fetish so kissing is just as important as anything else to getting me rock hard and cumming.

[Iker80]

On 10/21/2023 at 7:33 PM, hntnhole said:

This is inexcusable.  When more advanced sexual acts/kinks are being considered (anything dealing with "forced" acts, for instance), there is absolutely a requirement for a "negotiation" prior to the meetup.  Corporal anything beyond fucking/sucking simply must be agreed upon by both parties, and before any action takes place.  

1.  You may not know if the other guy has any experience in the arts of B/d, S/m, and you don't want to find out the hard way.  The Leather Ethic* has always forbidden un-negotiated acts that can be dangerous.  

2.  In the event you're feeling like getting fucked, it's doubly important, since that would be assuming the submissive role, and might be misinterpreted by some asshole that you're ok with whatever he does.  That is never ok, and that guy is one to avoid.  I've posted elsewhere on BZ how to conduct a negotiation (which, btw, is the Top's responsibility), how to protect yourself, etc.  

3.  Insecure men who don't understand (or care to) that this is a serious consideration can wind up dead.  It used to happen a couple times a year back in Chicago.  

4.  Don't let one p.o.s. wannabe Dom wreck your Lusts - thankfully, there aren't all that many guys like your example around.  It's Saturday - go out tonight and fuck/get fucked as much as you can hold, and try to overcome this regrettable event.  It's not your fault; don't stew about it.  Just know that there are ignorant, wannabe poseurs out there, and be careful. 

Good luck !!

*ask the googler about the Gay Leather Ethic, if you're unfamiliar:  the first and most important concept is "never do intentional, physical harm to another person".  Or, look up the older posts here about it.  

Thanks for this. He was out of order, but it's good to hear that from someone else.

I agree, talking about stuff before doing it is how to avoid it going badly. I get freaked out by anything involving suffocating, choking, whatever. Like I don't even like it on TV and I'll have flashbacks for weeks afterwards. So this was never going to end well. I'm on his crazy hookup list for sure. I don't know if it was a nosebleed or something busted, but his nose got messed up. I'm not too worried about it, I mean what's he going to do, call the cops and say he met a random guy for sex, tried to choke him and got headbutted. No way that's going to happen. But I'm thinking things could have gotten worse and it's not good meeting up with guys if I can get like this again. And I've got a bunch of stuff that might make me angry if it happened, and I'm feeling kind of stressed.

But I know who I'd like, so I'll wait for next time he's in the area. He's chill and won't try anything weird.

 

15 hours ago, 120DaysofSodom said:

Had this one hookup once the guy was hot and he and I had talked a few times on grindr about him coming over to my place and id be face down ass up waiting for him to walk in and aggressively use me.

We did that one afternoon. The sex was amazing...

After though, we had a beer in my living room. He was looking around at all my art and started interrogating me about satanism. Then began preaching the gospel at me lmao

When I gave him my opinion on religion, namely that if the god of abraham were real (which he isnt) it would be absurd to worship such a thing with a track record that makes adolf hitler look like ghandi.

Well, he didnt like that much. Out of nowhere, he spit in my face. (normally this is a turn on when the guy is fucking me, but obviously not in a moment like this...)

I then stood up and grabbed my beer bottle and told him to get the fuck out of my apartment or id smash the bottle over his head as at that point I felt threatened. He got up and walked to the door, and as he was leaving, said, "that was so hot lets do it again some time"

...

That's the best example of situation matters that I've seen in a long time. Getting spat in the face outside of a kink situation isn't cool. Sounds scary and like he didn't read the situation at all right.

 

12 hours ago, JavyX69 said:

It didn't progress to sex, but after arranging to go fuck this supposed "cumdump" off CL, who specifically only wanted to see cock pics, and walking all the the way to his place, he asked me to leave because "you never sent me a body pic". Which he never asked for and explicitly stated that he didn't need to see. It was humiliating, especially because some random twink was there too, but I was in such shock that I just walked out without saying anything. That's as mad as I've ever gotten.

Otherwise I've just been mildly annoyed with a couple guys that misrepresented themselves with 10-15 year outdated pics, but I didn't say anything and I got sucked off by both at least.

What a jerk. Sounds like he didn't even remember who was who at that point.

I had a situation a bit like that one time. I was with a guy I didn't know too well and he invited a 3rd we'd never met. Fair enough. Anyway 3rd guy shows up and he's chilled out and I like him, but when he goes to the bathroom the first guy is not happy because he's a bit chunky and saying he wants me to make him to go. I decided best way to do it was to tell 3rd guy I think he's hot, but this guy doesn't, so let's get out of here. I was up for some fun and we made the most of the 30 seconds in the lift, but neither of us had a place to hang out so we ended up having Chinese and eating it sat on the pavement. One of those weird nights you only have in a big city.

 

3 hours ago, backdoorjimmy said:

I got mad enough to call off a hookup once when I was about 19 or 20. I got to this guy's place and he was all over me, kissing me, eating my ass, rubbing my back and stomach with his hands and just all in all turning me on. He pushed me to my knees so I could suck him off and I felt like the vibe was established. But when I came up for a kiss, he kinda pushed me away and said he never gave me consent to kiss him.

That was it. I got dressed and left while he started apologizing and begging me to change my mind. But it was too weird and honestly, I felt like I was being accused of being a sex pest. So I left and blocked him.

Weird situation. I sometimes meet with 'straight' guys who don't want to kiss and things, but they're not kissing me all over and eating my ass either. I'd have thought kissing was ok with a guy like that too

[PozTalkAuthor]

It was not a "hookup" meant as me browsing some sites, apps or physical places where we found each other; my ex introduced him to me as one of his fuckbuddies, they both wanted me to become such too. 

He was kinda sexy, so I gladly accepted some fun. Being undetectable I didn't discuss status, I instinctively knew he could be that kind of guys who are good fucks and nothing else. 

And, before getting naked, he told my ex: "I hope your guy is 'CLEAN', as I don't want to sleep with poz, even undetectable" - treating me like I was an object to use just for filling his hole, like I had no senses and feelings ... and status. 

Let me say I got angry as a beast then, and he deserved a wild, rough fuck with a "enjoy undetectable seed in you" after I gladly bred his sore ass. I told about details somewhere else, but that one has been the beginning of the end for the relationship with my ex! 

What about if someone would tie me or going extreme? I'd be even angrier! Not to talk about extremely dirty hole or worse, wanting to play with body discards. 

Second? I got angry with my ex when he brought a fuckbuddy home "to surprise me" while I assumed we were celebrating an intimate special event alone. 

[hntnhole]

Interesting thread ....

I can't say I remember ever been really angry in a sexual context.  

For Leathersex (Bd/Sm scenes, I always did a negotiation well in advance, per the protocols.  I don't mind eager subs, but I don't like pushy ones. 

Still, in the common definition of "angry", I can't remember being really pissed off at a bottom.  Disappointed maybe, but not really angry.  

[bbzh]

I remember years ago being in a sauna in Brussels. This guy who I thought was hot signalled for me to join him in a cabin. Once I got inside, he pinned me down immediately and tried to fuck me bare, which I totally was not into at the time. I was just strong enough to keep him from penetrating me, but not strong enough to get him off me. The struggle went on for a few minutes before I told him, "Look it's not going to happen so just give up." He finally did, but I was angry. I remember feeling shaken by it all too. I didn't think to try to get him thrown out of the place. To this day, if a guy tries to force my head down or do anything without my consent, my fight reflex kicks in. 

[slaveboi]

Only time I ever got too worked up was my 3rd time with a guy. I had a gloryhole setup in a hotel room. I sucked him Friday night and again Saturday morning.  He hit me up again Saturday miday and asked if I was interested in more than just blowing him through the gloryhole.  He had seen some bdsm pics on my profile and asked if I had any gear. I had all my gear and toys so we agreed a on what we would do. He wanted me in leather cuffs and a hood with an open mouth gag. I told him if I was gagged I would use a small squeaker toy as a safe word. Everything was going great he came in hooked my cuffs together and put his uncut cock in my mouth. At the gloryhole I couldn't deepthroat him because of his size. He switched between my holes and was really getting into it. He pulled out of my ass flipped my onto my back hand started pushing down my throat. I was trying to work the squeaker but it was smashed in my hand and wouldn't work.  I was gagging and choking and finally got all the way in. He blew his load and pulled out. I was coughing up cock snot and was pissed.  He reached down and uncuffed me. While I was trying to recover he starts telling me how hot that was and he couldn't believe i didn't tap out. Once I realized he didn't know I calmed down. After the fact it was actually kinda hot.

[Baretop4ever]

At a hook up I didn't get a hard on - had a stressful week before and had some personal issues distracting me. I honestly hoped to get off and honestly offered a fuck... The guy was pissed and reproached me for not getting hard and started a real drama out of it. 

I offered him three options:

- maybe I don't get hard because he's not the cupcake I thought to be?

- if he needs an all-time ready-steady hard dick, it's a dildo what he needs, and not a human being that isn't ready like a tool with loaded batteries at any time... 

- to piss off

I'm aware that a date expects a hard dick when one is out to get fucked, and that I, as a top, am the one to deliver and I provoke hope for that when I accept a hook up, but hello...! We're humans, no machines or apps... I had countless of guys without a stone hard rod for various reasons that no one's to blame for.

[hntnhole]

1 hour ago, Baretop4ever said:

I offered him three options:

I would have bought tix to THAT .... payable in marks, dollars, or whatever currency you'd care to mention !!!

[Baretop4ever]

6 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

I would have bought tix to THAT .... payable in marks, dollars, or whatever currency you'd care to mention !!!

My currency are Sperm cells… 💦

[hntnhole]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA .......... I should'da known ..... 🤩