Bottoms who are NOT into being someone's lil' bitch :-)

[Euroverse]

I've included here a post I just made in another thread and by no means do I mean to be giving the guy I quoted a hard time! Far from it...most of sex is the mental aspect of it, whether we acknowledge that or not...and different strokes for different folks. But from time to time I come across this automatic assumption that the bottom is automatically submissive. Not just in the physical part of fucking...but that they necessarily mentally get off on that role.

There have to be more guys than me out there, who love to be fucked senseless but are still alpha male and to whom aggressively using your ass and pulling that guy in you etc....does not equal "submission" or being dominated etc.?

It's a real turn off, in fact it's game over, once the whole "control you and make you my sub bitch etc" thing comes out of some tops mouths. Keep in mind, I am not a small or frail guy, I'm built more like a football player and in every day life, you could tell you'd get a smack in the chops if you walked up and spoke to me like that lol So I don't know why some guys just assume this power role play?

So here's the context:

To me, a good bareback breeding session is all about the top or tops using the bottom for pleasure, and putting the bottom in his place. I think a good bareback bottom gets off on being dominated, and used.

Don't bet on it. There are plenty of us Alpha Males who love having the hell fucked out of our ass...but that's not the same as wanting to be dominated and made to feel like trash and the whole verbal thing. The top is not sacrosanct. I top as well. You're as lucky to be inside that ass as they are for having you in them. You'd/ I'd be jacking off alone if it weren't for the hole you're in

For many of us, the whole power thing just being "assumed" is a real turn off and can lead to altercations. Now...giving yourself up can be part of the fun but you shouldn't just assume the whole, "spit on me, call be a bitch and throw me around" follows.

I totally get where you're coming from and have had younger dudes bottoming for me, tell me in advance they love being dominated etc...That's cool. Its fucking hot. I wouldn't like it for myself (I'm a pretty aggressive bottom when I bottom and I am going to work my ass so that I nearly tear your cock off lol...but that's because I love being fucked...not because the guy fucking me is God and I am trash.

That said: total respect for tops I've had recently you bothered to check!

Maybe it's a respect thing? I'll even go sub in play for someone who tells me they like doing that and they bother to check with me and not just assume. That's totally different. When they just assume being fucked in the ass = submissive, bitch, someone's "boy" or whatever...I'm more likely to throw the top over my shoulder and throw him and his clothes out my door.

MEN love to be fucked too and it's got nothing to do with us feeling like feminine submissives. Does any of this make sense?

There have to be more guys that feel the same way? Again...in no way am I bagging the guys who love the whole power play thing from either angle. I get it and do it from time to time. Its more this general feeling that a bottom is automatically wanting to be the momentary embodiment of a bunch of daddy issues.

[chi4loads]

I agree completely (including the part about being an aggressive bottom!). To me, great sex requires that the partners understand what excites the other(s).

[tin]

I agree with you, and I wonder if it's an attitude more common in vers guys than total tops/bottoms. Now and then I can enjoy getting into a 'sub' mode, but don't assume that is going to be a given. It's my ass, and my choice of when/how I give it up and what I let you do with it. Some times I may be a more aggressive bottom, other times I might be more submissive - and the act of submission can actually be rather empowering.

But don't assume you can just make me your bitch and that my pleasure is inconsequential. Sex should be about mutual pleasure between people - either that be physical, mental or emotional. If I'm not getting pleasure out of the situation - then it wont be lasting much longer. If that makes me a bad bottom, then I'd consider you a bad top - and we best just avoid hooking up to avoid wasting each-others time.

[Euroverse]

To me, great sex requires that the partners understand what excites the other(s).

To me, what you just said there sums it up perfectly.

It includes those who love the dominant or sub role or those for whom that doesn't come into it at all...the key is understanding and respecting what excites the other guy.

I agree with you, and I wonder if it's an attitude more common in vers guys than total tops/bottoms.

I hadn't thought of that. You're probably right. Obviously there is a sliding scale of "versatile". Some prefer to top or bottom but will do the other in a pinch.

But then there are guys like me, and you guys who have posted above, who can be 100% into being bottom or in another situation, 100% into topping and completely incorporating the whole "state of mind" of either role.

Edited August 24, 2011 by Euroverse

[Pig Bottom]

I agree. Some guys are just so rough that I think they are covering up for being lousy fuckers.

I don't like to get slammed on the first stroke.

I don't mind a little smack, but don't wail on my ass with a severe spanking.

Touching my nipples is okay, but they are pierced and sensitive so don't try to pinch them off.

Sometimes I like to take control and ride the dick, you should let me.

The worst was in a dark room where this jerkoff not even that close to me felt like kicking me, but it was more like jabbing me with his foot sideways. Once is fine if you seal the deal with a fuck, but the second time I think he saw my reaction in the dark and stopped.

Sometimes young inexperienced tops make the best fuckers. Also men who you would think are bottoms, but are tops are good fuckers too.

[Guest slobbvers]

I agree Euroverse. I like to fuck and get fucked. I don't get into dom sub at all. I believe sex is about mutual pleasure. Had a fuck bud who, like me, liked to flip fuck during a session. He was great. 7" cock. Like Goldilocks, not too big. Just right Hooked up with another guy who was 9.5". Had to tell him to slow down. He'd get going fucking me and it would hurt. I realise some guys like that. I don't.

[Euroverse]

Tell you what also turns me off...the whole concept of "being of service" or "servicing a cock"....Jesus Christ I have a cock too...I don't "service" anyone. I will suck it a mouth and go nuts on it cos I love sucking cock! But I am not in your service.

You know what, I might just be going neurotic from lack of coffee or whatever...but the concept of figuratively being someone's "boy" or coming around to "service" anything just grates on just about every fibre of my being a fucking man.

(You can tell I've had a few want me to "be of service" lately can't ya? lol...the same guy/s refuse to blow me "because they like to be in control"...fuck me...it's a blow job not a slave trade ship and I wouldn't have made more it like I am here, had the implication from them not been so damn clear that some how, in some screwed up way...sucking cock means I'm being submissive. WTF How about it just means I'm gay and like to suck cock? :-)

....end of rant.

Edited August 25, 2011 by Euroverse

[dubldoh]

I'm with you on this. I am also a version man that love taking cock and cum in my ass but am not your "faggot bitch" as some dude wanted to call me last week. At 6'3", 225# im no wimp. I can be sort of submissivethe with the right guy in the right setting but the top probably needs to be bigger than me or real thuggish. This re entire guy wasn't that great of a top and kept stopping because he didn't have any control and was trying to keep from cunning. I was tired of getting a couple of strokes and then stopping so I was really working my ass. I flipped him over and started to ride him but he didn't like that because "he was in control". Well, that was it. I told him he was not in control and I never gave him control. He again tried to say that I was submissive and he was in charge. As I climbed off the bed and stepped toward the door (was at the bathhouse) I said "no, I'm in control and you are no longer fucking the hottest man in here". He just looked shocked and then kept trying to get back with me the rest of the night. It was great because I was clearly in control of him and fucked a guy and got fucked by another in the open where he saw me and was looking at me like he wanted some more.

[Belfast-Bottom]

I'm a submissive bottom who likes dominant, masculine, take charge, aggressive, Tops, but I realize that not every one is into that power exchange Dom/sub thing. Different strokes for different folks. I'm fine with that. I don't expect every one to have the same sexual mindset as me. I respect other people's right to behave differently.

My advice to those who are unhappy about the assumptions that are spoiling their sexual experiences is: discuss your expectations and limits with the guy before you meet him. In the exchange of e-mails/texts/calls that precede a date it is usual and can be HOT to ask "What are you into?".

[Pig Bottom]

Had a talk with my top today. We decided he can still keep fucking me until he gets a ring from the guy he started dating, which is no time soon. We had a talk after he bred me, I asked him if I could rape hims as a bottom next time and he said yes, then I stuck my dick in his ass.

[nightelf]

I have to say, I am a switch for BDSM. . and I like Dom role.. even though I am Bottom for fucks. The dynamic I have with a man depends a lot on his masculinity and how he conducts himself in day to day life. If he is a masculine alpha type in day to day and bedroom. . I will submit to such a man.and allow for BDSM play as a submissive. However. . if the top, is submissive and likes to be ordered around. . made to breed. . force milked etc. . if it turns him on to be ordered to be made to be a "stud". I will do that and (REALLY GET OFF ON IT).

[thick]

I treat my bottoms really nice. I kiss them. I eat their hole. I dont slam my cock in. I let them adjust to its size. I start off slow when I fuck until theyve loosened up. however. they are servicing my cock.....but I in turn, am servicing their cunt. This thread sounds like a bitch session for Womens Lib. and frankly I dont hook up with versatile dudes. I dont understand them and theyre too aggressive. and believe me. most tops will fit into my line of thinking more than yours. I dont want a submissive, but I do want a bottom. I dont want a top trapped in a bottoms body whose mad at the fact that he's not the boss in the bedroom. oh and lastly, there have been bottoms who have pussywipped me to where Id do just about anything to get into their hole. so whos really in charge there?

[PhoenixGeoff]

I treat my bottoms really nice. I kiss them. I eat their hole. I dont slam my cock in. I let them adjust to its size. I start off slow when I fuck until theyve loosened up. however. they are servicing my cock.....but I in turn, am servicing their cunt. This thread sounds like a bitch session for Womens Lib. and frankly I dont hook up with versatile dudes. I dont understand them and theyre too aggressive. and believe me. most tops will fit into my line of thinking more than yours. I dont want a submissive, but I do want a bottom. I dont want a top trapped in a bottoms body whose mad at the fact that he's not the boss in the bedroom. oh and lastly, there have been bottoms who have pussywipped me to where Id do just about anything to get into their hole. so whos really in charge there?

Sounds like what you really want is a woman.

[thick]

Sounds like what you really want is a woman.

I wont even justify that stupid remark with anything other than to say its a stupid remark.

[Whitebutt]

I treat my bottoms really nice. I kiss them. I eat their hole. I dont slam my cock in. I let them adjust to its size. I start off slow when I fuck until theyve loosened up. however. they are servicing my cock.....but I in turn, am servicing their cunt. This thread sounds like a bitch session for Womens Lib. and frankly I dont hook up with versatile dudes. I dont understand them and theyre too aggressive. and believe me. most tops will fit into my line of thinking more than yours. I dont want a submissive, but I do want a bottom. I dont want a top trapped in a bottoms body whose mad at the fact that he's not the boss in the bedroom. oh and lastly, there have been bottoms who have pussywipped me to where Id do just about anything to get into their hole. so whos really in charge there?

You sound like my kind of top.