Rejection at sex clubs

[Sfmike64]

7 hours ago, 1slut said:

I agree with comments that at events with large number of people, people than to walk around endlessly looking the perfect guy. I am looking for a hot fuck and not a husband. I would rather use my energy and time fucking and not walking.

keep a look out for like minded who wants to fuck and not walk endlessly…

Be confident whatever your body type unless it is really bizarre. I know many people who only go with older or chubbier guys and they to get on real good.

This is also a problem online. I find Sniffies (at least here in NOLA) is like this. Instead of responding to someone you're attracted to but not enormously into, people just ignore that person (a sure thing) in favor of a cock/ass to be found later.

And then they never find that mystical perfect cock/ass.

[Hole4u]

On 6/3/2024 at 7:44 PM, topblkmale said:

 

Stay until 15 minutes before closing. You'll become alot more attractive and desirable.

 

Ain’t that the truth lol. I had a a three guy conga line for my ass once at the fair about 20 minutes before closing. 

[Read1]

There is a segment of our bathhouse community that tries to save their cum until about a half an hour before they have to leave the bathhouse. They will want to cum in your mouth or ass really fast and leave to get to bed. I've had this happen to me. And, I'm sure many of you have experienced just this same thing!

[gacanasian]

When it comes to rejection, one important truth to understand is this: nobody is sexy to everyone.  Everyone has different tastes, including tastes you personally won't understand or agree with.  Don't take rejection as the idea that you're not good enough; instead, rejection at an individual level only means you are not a good fit for what that person is looking for.  That's not a bad thing; if anything, knowing you're not a good fit for someone specific at a sex club frees up time for you to find someone else who would be a better fit for you.  

If you feel you're being rejected by *everyone*, then one of two things is probably true: 

1) You're in the wrong scene and everyone is looking for something that doesn't suit you.  (e.g. I wouldn't be a good fit in a BDSM scene)

2) You may be communicating to others that you're not ready have good sex.  (Note: I didn't say anything about inherent sexiness; just that you're *communicating* bad vibes)

Guys can sense when you think "My body is something that I don't like."  Sex is about wanting to open yourself up to connect with others.  To me, putting physical barriers on yourself (like a t-shirt) implicitly communicates you're not opening yourself up to connect, and that would turn me off personally.  

Getting active and eating healthier may help change the shape of your body and is something I would support if only because it helps improve your health and may help improve your personal relationship with your body; however, that doesn't mean you'll feel more "sexy" once you get there. 

I worry that focusing solely on changing the shape of your body means you're only addressing one symptom.  I worry doing this will cause you to be insecure for other reasons.  For example, I've met guys who have great bodies who are insecure because they're too old (so they buy into skin creams or get botox), or too hairy (so they get surgery to remove the hair(!)), or are not hairy enough (younger guys desperately growing out facial hair to look less like a boy).   

The common theme behind these insecurities is a thought of "I'm not good enough as I am".  "I don't deserve good sex as I am." If you maintain a habit of thinking this way in your attitude, no amount of physical change will transform your mindset to "I'm happy with my body, am grateful for it and want to connect with others."

For all these reasons, I suggest you look into trying nudism and social nudism.  As a skinny fat guy who never went to the gym and unable to grow any body hair at all with an average size dick, I used to have debilitating body shame that prevented me from reaching out to have sex with anyone.  I decided I couldn't live that way when I was 35 and looked into trying nudism and social nudism.  

When I found myself naked in public unable to hide those parts I felt most insecure about, surrounding by bodies of all ages and types, I was able to relax and not worry so much about what I looked like.  To my personal shock, I learned others would find me sexy naked, even if I don't think myself much to look at imho.  I also learned that almost everyone is insecure about *something*.  Once I let go of those thoughts, and learned to appreciate the parts of my body that work well (i'm able to walk without needing a cane, i'm able to get it up without drugs, my body is working fine, etc...), as well as helping others let go of their insecurities, I began attracting others and found myself able to connect with them.

When I visit sex clubs now, people think I'm confident simply because I worked on my attitude and just not let my (perceived) imperfections get in the way of having a good time.  I've also learned to reach out and try to connect with people I want to have sex with and not be bothered when I get rejected (like 70-80% of the time) because I recognize that were I to have sex with people who don't want to have sex with me, *it wouldn't be good sex anyway*.  I have been surprised by guys who I would think are WAAAAY out of my league approaching me for sex.  I guess getting rid of my mental hangups itself became an attractive feature because it manifests as authentic confidence.  

In any case, here's some stuff I personally did to overcome my personal anxieties:  
1) Read up on naturism and nudism, as well as "FKK" in Germany
2) Find opportunities to practice social nudism (I went from nudism at home to going to a nude beach)
3) Look up the" Wabi Sabi" aesthetic from Japanese culture: so-called imperfections, especially from wear and tear, can actually be seen as experiences that enhance one's beauty.  I drew from this the idea of incorporating imperfections as being an intended part of what's natural and perfect
4) Check out "Kaelan + Ecstatic Self" channel on YouTube; he's someone who talks about body acceptance and body positivity.  He has a lot of great stuff on adopting a healthier mindset, which helps you feel sexy in your body as you are.  

When your mind starts thinking "I'm good enough as I am", the good sex will come afterwards as a collateral benefit.  

I wish you luck in finding peace with yourself.  Hope this helps!

[Sfmike64]

On 8/17/2024 at 10:24 AM, Hole4u said:

Ain’t that the truth lol. I had a a three guy conga line for my ass once at the fair about 20 minutes before closing. 

There's an entire Pansy Division song about this called.....Sidewalk Sale. I always thought the boy on this album cover (I think it was called Wish I'd Taken Pictures) was incredibly sexy. If I recall correctly he was the drummer at this point. When I saw them perform live in about 1998, in SF, he played the whole set naked. 

[think before following links] https://pansydivision.bandcamp.com/track/sidewalk-sale

[TXltnpozcumdump88]

I feel like when visiting sex clubs, bath houses really depends on the day. Recently in my town it’s gotten full of bottoms. Not enough tops or the tops are picky as hell. 
I agree that sex club is for that to get fucked and take loads. I miss the old days. 🤤

[hungry_hole]

On 8/17/2024 at 8:22 PM, Read1 said:

There is a segment of our bathhouse community that tries to save their cum until about a half an hour before they have to leave the bathhouse. They will want to cum in your mouth or ass really fast and leave to get to bed.

Is that good or bad?

I've had this happen at the bathhouse many times, and I love it when it happens. 

When bathhouses were the place for guys were horny, I would always make sure to leave the door of my room open at the time when guys were leaving to go home late at night, 2-5 am.

At that time of night many "bottoms" who had been taking or swallowing a few loads, were feeling very horny and needed to unload before going home.

 

[NWUSHorny]

On 8/17/2024 at 5:22 PM, Read1 said:

There is a segment of our bathhouse community that tries to save their cum until about a half an hour before they have to leave the bathhouse. They will want to cum in your mouth or ass really fast and leave to get to bed. I've had this happen to me. And, I'm sure many of you have experienced just this same thing!

Is that good or bad? I would say I look for a hole to blow my last load in quickly at the end of the night on 80% of my visits. I know I love being the recipient of those loads and if it is late and/or winding down will frequently find a verse guy, ask if I breed him if he will return the favor. Nothing like going to sleep with freshly empty balls and a fresh cumload in m hole and knowing someone else is doing the same.

[Read1]

Sexpigs, it was just an observation of mine! No judgment on my part!

Whether early on in your bathhouse fun or much later in your visit, enjoy giving and getting loads! OINK!