Breaking “Straight” Guys’ Resolve of Condom Only

[KindaBasic]

On 6/19/2024 at 11:29 AM, hntnhole said:

We need to respect each other enough to accept the other guy's limits, and when that's in conflict with what we're prowling for, just say something vague-yet-acceptable, and keep prowling for "the real deal'.

It’s not about a lack a respect for the other guy. It’s about me knowing what I want.  I’m always up front about what I want. So if some “straight married” guy will only fuck with wrapped, that’s his prerogative. Good for him. But he can just find another bottom. But I have found throughout the years that most horny tops - gay, straight, bi, Martian - tend to give into their primitive need to get off. 

[Sfmike64]

1 hour ago, KindaBasic said:

It’s not about a lack a respect for the other guy. It’s about me knowing what I want.  I’m always up front about what I want. So if some “straight married” guy will only fuck with wrapped, that’s his prerogative. Good for him. But he can just find another bottom. But I have found throughout the years that most horny tops - gay, straight, bi, Martian - tend to give into their primitive need to get off. 

I think it's even more fundamental than that. They see a cumdump ready to take their load and they just shove it in. A load in the cunt is worth two in the place to be named later. (That might be a really fucked up metaphor but you get my drift).

[KindaBasic]

12 minutes ago, Sfmike64 said:

I think it's even more fundamental than that. They see a cumdump ready to take their load and they just shove it in. A load in the cunt is worth two in the place to be named later. (That might be a really fucked up metaphor but you get my drift).

That’s probably where they make their mistake. I don’t see myself as a cum dump, and have no problem moving on to another top. 

[BlueSaphir]

The talk of being ask if I am clean gets annoying. 

[Bottom Jim]

I had a guy once ask me if I was”clean”

well you just ate my ass and shoved your bare dick in my ass you filled it with your cum.

Kind of late to ask shut a stupid question 

[hntnhole]

On 6/19/2024 at 11:29 AM, hntnhole said:

When guys meet in a bar, tubs

Note the self-quote above, KindaBasic. 

Generally, when guys meet in some fuckjoint, it's without any immediately-previous connection (like an app, for instance).  If the initial connection is made via the apps, it's surely easy enough to politely cull out guys that have a different agenda than ours.  That would include, obviously, any particular requirement of either guy,, including using a condom.  

I see no contradiction between your viewpoint and mine at all.  Knowing what one wants/needs, and being clear about that detail is the important thing.  That said, in my experience, guys that hit the fuckjoints are there for raw sex, and I can't say I've ever encountered a guy who wanted a condom in the fuckjoints. 

Maybe things are different where you live, but somehow I doubt it. NYC has always been a fantastic place for anything, 

18 hours ago, KindaBasic said:

It’s not about a lack a respect for the other guy. It’s about me knowing what I want.

I see that as those two sentences as sides of the same coin.  

Thanks for your input.

[PozBearWI]

On 6/16/2024 at 5:18 PM, BootmanLA said:

 

I agree that this guy's ignorance is staggering (but sadly all too common), and that it's on him to protect himself. But I still think it's a shit thing to do to lie and tell someone you're "clean" (thus giving in to his archaic and insulting language, and reinforcing his stupid ideas about safety). I'd opt for directness and education (and if he didn't want to fuck after that, well, I doubt seriously he's a good enough fuck to put up with that kind of bullshit.

Indeed we could choose to make this a teaching moment but I doubt it would be effective.  But, perhaps the most productive thing to do would be to say much of what's been said in the preceding posts.  First, while it is good he eventually asked, asking after the fact is going to amend what I might have said had we begun with that question.  I don't take offense to "clean".  Ignorance abounds these days so why should we be surprised?  I would explain what I do for sexual health concluding with my numbers (as I am not literally U=U; but a VL of 680 is a massively lower risk than an average unmedicated guy.).  But I would want to have explains doxyPEP, what and HIV test does and does not show (specifically that it is a test to see if one is positive for HIV.  It does not test to see if you're NEG.  For most of us here we know of the window period.  

I suspect I would not get far before he would bail; but honestly, would that really be a loss?   🙂

[norefusal]

*shrug*
id rather get fucked w a condom than not get fucked at all so respecting his opinion coincides w me meeting my needs. 

whenever guys say they just move on to the next top i always think "must be nice to be you then" lol 

refusing a top in this "bottom's market" and as an older guy, its basically like saying "well guess im not getting fucked today" 😜 and that doesnt even include the 60% of the guys hitting you up for "oral only" 😜

[PozBearWI]

Indeed we should each respect our own limits as we see fit.  If the guy is asking after we fucked; really what's the point?  I would probably first respond with "I didn't crap on your dick did I".  If he says, no, i meant do you have A$^DS?  I would reply I am poz with a well controlled but detectable viral load, no other STI's.  Hopefully this would lead to a mutually productive conversation.  But if not....  

[KindaBasic]

On 6/27/2024 at 4:03 PM, norefusal said:

*shrug*
id rather get fucked w a condom than not get fucked at all so respecting his opinion coincides w me meeting my needs. 

whenever guys say they just move on to the next top i always think "must be nice to be you then" lol 

refusing a top in this "bottom's market" and as an older guy, its basically like saying "well guess im not getting fucked today" 😜 and that doesnt even include the 60% of the guys hitting you up for "oral only" 😜

Really? I’m 60 and I rarely have any problems getting fucked, especially by younger guys. 

[BootmanLA]

4 hours ago, KindaBasic said:

Really? I’m 60 and I rarely have any problems getting fucked, especially by younger guys. 

You live in a huge city. Those of us in places with 80,000 or 8,000 people in our city/town instead of 8 million may not have the same options you do. 

[KindaBasic]

8 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

You live in a huge city. Those of us in places with 80,000 or 8,000 people in our city/town instead of 8 million may not have the same options you do. 

I live in the burbs of Long Island. 

[BootmanLA]

3 minutes ago, KindaBasic said:

I live in the burbs of Long Island. 

You're still adjacent to a huge metro area with 19 million people (and there's overall a lot of transit to get around there). That's almost 15 million more than my entire state. It's about 35 times as many people as Wyoming. I get it that you may not be able to walk next door for sex, but you're still closer to a wealth of options more than a shitload of people in this country.

[KindaBasic]

2 minutes ago, BootmanLA said:

You're still adjacent to a huge metro area with 19 million people (and there's overall a lot of transit to get around there). That's almost 15 million more than my entire state. It's about 35 times as many people as Wyoming. I get it that you may not be able to walk next door for sex, but you're still closer to a wealth of options more than a shitload of people in this country.

I don’t live right next to the city. I live well over an hour away from the city in a suburban area interspersed with some rural land. I also have family out in the Midwest in a state of less than 2m where the closest metropolis has a population of around 40k, and never have trouble getting laid when I go there either. 

[BootmanLA]

5 hours ago, KindaBasic said:

I don’t live right next to the city. I live well over an hour away from the city in a suburban area interspersed with some rural land. I also have family out in the Midwest in a state of less than 2m where the closest metropolis has a population of around 40k, and never have trouble getting laid when I go there either. 

If you live well over an hour away from the city, then your profile contains a misstatement, as that is not "NYC". I won't go so far as to call it a falsehood, since I don't know whether that's a deliberate lie or just a shorthand for being close to the city that you won't allow others to use when it works against your arguments.