Jump to content

I am going to relapse tonight.


Recommended Posts

I'm in London, miles away from home. I'm going to give in this week. I try to stop myself but the more I deprive myself the harder I need it when I do finally give in. 

I will invite strangers to my hotel room. I will let them use my hole. I will let them cum in me. I will drive home to my wife with a used up hole looser than her pussy. I will continue to lie to her.

 

Cock is the most brutal drug. I can't stop!

  • Like 1
  • Piggy 5
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Don't be too hard on yourself. Cock and cum IS very addictive.  Once we have ignored the long list of mental and social road blocks we will get on our knees and bend over every chance we get. So many tastes and styles to choose from. As NIKE says 

" JUST DO IT "  you will be happier and the other guy will be happier..

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Posted (edited)
19 hours ago, greo said:

Should be sleeping with it inside you not on the face!

Couldn't agree more. The top was the definition of basic. He also insisted on a condom even though I protested. 

 

Oh well. Somerimes....Sometimes they disappoint.

 It wasn't all a total waste. I got my hole hammered. Literally. See pic 😉 Yes, that is an actual hammer.

20240702_212015.jpg

Edited by NewcastleCloset
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7/2/2024 at 2:35 AM, NewcastleCloset said:

I'm in London, miles away from home. I'm going to give in this week. I try to stop myself but the more I deprive myself the harder I need it when I do finally give in. 

I will invite strangers to my hotel room. I will let them use my hole. I will let them cum in me. I will drive home to my wife with a used up hole looser than her pussy. I will continue to lie to her.

 

Cock is the most brutal drug. I can't stop!

So you’re potentially exposing your wife to HIV/AIDS and other STDs/STIs without her knowledge or consent. What a wonderful husband you are. 

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 7/1/2024 at 11:35 PM, NewcastleCloset said:

I'm in London, miles away from home. I'm going to give in this week. I try to stop myself but the more I deprive myself the harder I need it when I do finally give in. 

I will invite strangers to my hotel room. I will let them use my hole. I will let them cum in me. I will drive home to my wife with a used up hole looser than her pussy. I will continue to lie to her.

 

Cock is the most brutal drug. I can't stop!

Speculating, i don't think it's addiction, but dependence (and there is a difference, at least in the healthcare profession).  i suspect what you need is to come to a place of self acceptance and start living honestly with who and how you are.  When one is conflicted about being attracted to the same sex, not fully accepting, it can lead to what seems an addictive cycle where you try not to have sex with guys until you give in to your need/desire and have sex with guys. That sex can be a sort of temporary fix, an affirmation of who and how you are, then you are ashamed, etc., go back to fighting your self. 

i'd advocate for professional counseling.  The lying and cheating are going to end up hurting all involved, i don't think it's a good or acceptable way to go.

  • Upvote 2
Link to comment
Share on other sites

5 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

Speculating, i don't think it's addiction

In the traditional, accepted meaning of the word "addiction", neither do I.  

That said, the feeling of freedom to be the man we were born to be, actually living out our most sexual fantasies, is a behavior that can indeed become addictive.  I use zero drugs (other than a medical prescription and PrEP), yet I look forward to spending weekend nights in the fuckjoints tremendously.  In that sense, hitting the fuckjoints on the weekends is a (perhaps semi) addictive behavior, without the physical dependency that chemicals induce.  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

9 minutes ago, hntnhole said:

In the traditional, accepted meaning of the word "addiction", neither do I.  

That said, the feeling of freedom to be the man we were born to be, actually living out our most sexual fantasies, is a behavior that can indeed become addictive.  I use zero drugs (other than a medical prescription and PrEP), yet I look forward to spending weekend nights in the fuckjoints tremendously.  In that sense, hitting the fuckjoints on the weekends is a (perhaps semi) addictive behavior, without the physical dependency that chemicals induce.  

i have no evidence to back this up, so it's conjecture on my part.

i still feel my pause button pushed.  Our sex drive is a natural appetite. We never consider habits like eating as addiction, but as naturally feeding a need. Our selection of food may be based on appetite, but we are still looking to sate hunger. As i see it, You fast for a week before 'eating.'  

i've experienced what feels like bonding to a Man Who breeds me repeatedly. The evidence is base on hetero study, but there is evidence that absorbed semen effects the brain in a bonding way.  Idk, but i can easily speculate that a Top could have an instinctual awareness of the ability of His semen to bond a bottom to Him... we sure seem to discuss it a lot in round about ways lol. 

i guess i just grouse at the negative connotation that "addiction" implies.  i don't see feeding a natural appetite, hunger, as addictive behavior?

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

11 minutes ago, tallslenderguy said:

absorbed semen effects the brain in a bonding way.

I'd call that part of the "connection" I sometimes go on about.  I suppose what it brings into question is, what - exactly - is "reality"?  

What you experience is completely real - as "real" as anything else.  While it's not a physical thing like a hammer or a car or whatever, it's still, none-the-less completely real for you.  The act of Breeding - pumping my seed into another man who needs it - is just as real, in that I'm connected to him and he to me.  In that sense, you and I are two peas in a pod.  

I don't overeat - but I do eat my fill 3 times a day.  That's a biological necessity that everyone needs to fulfill, just like sharing sex (maybe not 3x a day though !!!)  I'm not a medically trained man like you are, but it makes sense to me that the semen - a man's essence - can affect the brain in wonderful ways.   

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use, Privacy Policy, and Guidelines. We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.