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Rules when cheating on your partner?


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It’s easier to have an open relationship than to deal with the stress of getting caught cheating.

The times I cheated that was on a bf who only liked vanilla sex.  I love assplay, and he just wouldn’t engage in it—so, after a long time of not getting any, I found someone when on a work trip and it blew my mind.  I had to keep feeling that level of pleasure—so I kept on cheating for assplay.

Once I broke up with my bf, I decided one quality I needed to have for any future bf was no sexual hangups.  That rule has worked well.

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No NEED TO CHEAT when you are both turned on by total promiscuity and your partner being a slut. Basically we granted each other LICENCE TO WHORE & SCORE! BEFORE MARRIAGE! Sometimes we play together, sometimes we don't.

As liberal and limitless as that appears, there have to be boundaries, agreed upon RED FLAGS and SAFETY HATCHES!

Not neurotic shit like NO KISSING or PLAYING TOGETHER ONLY!

But for example: neediness, clinginess, couch-surfers wanting to BECOME THE THIRD but contributing nothing! And no old school hypocrite-hetero, religiously-confused, politically-populist attitudes.  say no more, hush my mouth) 

Amateurs and newbies with goo-goo eyes for just one over the other. Typically confirmed after  the first or second trick session... (really more into ONE-ON-ONE even passed the first hookup), aka aspiring monogamists, guys with evasive attitudes towards one or the other, partner-poachers wanting to BE WITH ONE of us in a relationship...

And for me the all-time dislike... the sneaking around, avoiding me, not responding at all (as an alleged REAL FRIENDLY would and hitting up on my partner when a certain one I'm thinking of, a congenital CHEATER (ex-Jehova cultist) knows I'm asleep. 

Dumb motherfuckers could HAVE THEIR COCK AND EAT IT TOO but seemingly needs the thrill of being a snake!

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3 hours ago, rawsatyr said:

No NEED TO CHEAT when you are both turned on by total promiscuity and your partner being a slut. Basically we granted each other LICENCE TO WHORE & SCORE! BEFORE MARRIAGE! Sometimes we play together, sometimes we don't.

As liberal and limitless as that appears, there have to be boundaries, agreed upon RED FLAGS and SAFETY HATCHES!

Not neurotic shit like NO KISSING or PLAYING TOGETHER ONLY!

But for example: neediness, clinginess, couch-surfers wanting to BECOME THE THIRD but contributing nothing! And no old school hypocrite-hetero, religiously-confused, politically-populist attitudes.  say no more, hush my mouth) 

Amateurs and newbies with goo-goo eyes for just one over the other. Typically confirmed after  the first or second trick session... (really more into ONE-ON-ONE even passed the first hookup), aka aspiring monogamists, guys with evasive attitudes towards one or the other, partner-poachers wanting to BE WITH ONE of us in a relationship...

And for me the all-time dislike... the sneaking around, avoiding me, not responding at all (as an alleged REAL FRIENDLY would and hitting up on my partner when a certain one I'm thinking of, a congenital CHEATER (ex-Jehova cultist) knows I'm asleep. 

Dumb motherfuckers could HAVE THEIR COCK AND EAT IT TOO but seemingly needs the thrill of being a snake!

Not that I disagree with your general, overall point of negotiating an open relationship early on, but...

And not that I want to disparage any choices you've made that work for the two of you (seriously!), but...

I don't see the need to yuck other people's yum, so to speak, for agreeing to rules that both can live with, like "playing together only." That's not my rule, but for some people, that's what it takes to be comfortable with openness, and if that works for both of them, who am I to tell them it's "neurotic shit"?

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