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Misleading profiles


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Nope, I don’t mind at all; I like interesting photos that grab my attention and then reading the person’s profile.  Enjoy the eye candy and move on to the next photo.

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1 hour ago, hntnhole said:

In the context of the fuckapps though, why would a guy advertise something he has no urge or intention to actually offer for use? 

Because, as I noted, some tops - quite a few, in my experience, don't want the bottom to USE a big cock; they want the bottom to HAVE a big cock, because it soothes the top's fragile insecurities to think "this guy could be in high demand as a top with that cock and he wants ME to fuck him - that's great!". 

It's all about (some) bottoms being savvy enough to cater to the insecurities of those tops who want a bottom that COULD be a top but isn't.

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2 hours ago, hntnhole said:

In the context of the fuckapps though, why would a guy advertise something he has no urge or intention to actually offer for use?  I never posted a pic of my ass, just my Cock/balls - since that's all I was offering.  Whether I have a "nice" ass or not is irrelevant.  If I were a bottom, the pics would be reversed - ass only, no c/b photos.    

The only context I can think of for advertising both front and back would be if the advertiser is versatile; happy with either position.  But then, all the phony bs associated with the apps is why I just stopped bothering with them a few years go.  

As to the validation mentioned above, what good is validation from a bunch of guys out there in the ether, that one will probably never meet in the first place? 

I don't get it. 

i don't think it's actual, well thought out, rational validation many look for or even understand cognitively. i think most of what passes for validation or affirmation is often false. The saying: "image is everything" comes to mind (there was even a clever ad campaign for Canon cameras that used it).  We are subtly, and not so subtly, conditioned from early age to behave in a fashion that gets us approval and affirmation.  Whether it's who and how we are, i think, often is pushed to the side... or even unknown.

Approval, validation, affirmation are often given to a projected image and the real person remains afraid and unseen, unknown.  Instead, many live on image approval and validation, which proves unsubstantial long run, because the real person remains hidden and alone.  i don't think much of what passes as validation is rational, but emotional and unsubstantial... a fix of sorts, self medication. 

i know, i'm a ray of sunshine lol. It's a big topic for me because i am forever looking to connect with the real person, to hopefully help them feel safe and wanted enough that they feel free to show me their real self. Not an easy feat. People are afraid, and people often don't even know their hidden parts, or how to articulate them.

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I'm fully versatile, but I have to say I ignore profiles that do not have a dick pic regardless of whether they are top, bottom or versatile. I'm also bi, and if I'm hooking up with a man, and want him to fully acknowledge he is a man, and for me a dick pic from a bottom looking to hookup is a minimum acknowledgement that a bottom is still a man.

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20 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

"image is everything"

That's absolutely valid in an "advertising" sense.  Creating an ad for a product always emphasis certain qualities and diminishes others (if they're mentioned at all).  That's the nature of advertising.  I wonder how many advertisers who wanted to run less-than ads through the years, and they received some helpful suggestions before we even got to the ad schedule.  The point would be, if you want the secondary "advertising" (that being word-of-mouth), the initial ad has to be not only appealing, but also contain some measure of the truth.  

 

20 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

conditioned from early age to behave in a fashion that gets us approval and affirmation

Absolutely true - even if for nothing more than to avoid a spanking.  I suppose it's later on that the potential spanking develops into more non-corporal events.  Maybe that's when we "learn" to be misleading, avoid the less attractive, and emphasize the more so.  

 

20 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

because the real person remains hidden and alone

That seems to be the unfortunate result of trying to please everyone, which is impossible.  Far better to offer the most truthful, honest presentation we can, and cross our bal...er .... fingers, and hope for the best.  One facet of the online stuff though, is we don't have the opportunity to assess the other guy in person before trying to make the hook-up.  Do they look you in the eye when conversing - do they hang their head - all kinds of body language.  There's no way to access that kind of thing over the ether.  

 

20 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

i know, i'm a ray of sunshine

That, young man, is 100% completely true !!!

The problems you've overcome through the years, and triumphed despite those negative issues, is truly impressive.  

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20 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

"image is everything"

That's absolutely valid in an "advertising" sense.  Creating an ad for a product always emphasis certain qualities and diminishes others (if they're mentioned at all).  That's the nature of advertising.  I wonder how many advertisers who wanted to run less-than ads through the years, and they received some helpful suggestions before we even got to the ad schedule.  The point would be, if you want the secondary "advertising" (that being word-of-mouth), the initial ad has to be not only appealing, but also contain some measure of the truth.  

 

20 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

conditioned from early age to behave in a fashion that gets us approval and affirmation

Absolutely true - even if for nothing more than to avoid a spanking.  I suppose it's later on that the potential spanking develops into more non-corporal events.  Maybe that's when we "learn" to be misleading, avoid the less attractive, and emphasize the more so.  

 

20 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

because the real person remains hidden and alone

That seems to be the unfortunate result of trying to please everyone, which is impossible.  Far better to offer the most truthful, honest presentation we can, and cross our bal...er .... fingers, and hope for the best.  One facet of the online stuff though, is we don't have the opportunity to assess the other guy in person before trying to make the hook-up.  Do they look you in the eye when conversing - do they hang their head - all kinds of body language.  There's no way to access that kind of thing over the ether.  

 

20 hours ago, tallslenderguy said:

i know, i'm a ray of sunshine

That, young man, is 100% completely true !!!

The problems you've overcome through the years, and triumphed despite those negative issues, is truly impressive.  

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Actually, I just checked mine - haven't looked at it for a long time.  

There's not much there that isn't as true today as when I first joined up, but one of these days I may adjust one part a little bit ..... maybe something more of us should pay attention to once in a while.  

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