Question for married bottoms and vers

[TakingItDeep]

I got married in 2004 and was divorced in 2016, I didn’t hang with guys till my honeymoon and my girl said and I quote “I don’t want to touch your asshole, I don’t want to use a strap on, that just means you’re fuckin gay. So you’re either with me or you’re gay”. That hurt, and then 3 MONTHS after the honeymoon without sex I found a leather daddy with a sling literally down the street and I would go for “2 hour runs” and I’d just run the 6 minute run to his house, get bred in the sling by him and eventually he whored me out. Probably with 20/30 guys in that sling over my marriage. 
 

she thought I was a fag so I decided to prove her right, 

[DNG999]

I no longer have sex with my wife. I only have sex with guys. Our sex life dried up years ago as I became more interested in cock. Companionship wise we are good and we are both happy that way. I’m also happy sexually as I can fuck as I please.

[Pozme1981]

On 10/18/2024 at 7:21 PM, mblad99 said:

I have a question for married bottoms and vers, especially if they are still sexually active with their spouses:  How do you protect yourself from STDs when you are getting fucked?  Do you insist on condoms?  Prep?  Chose your partners wisely?   

I know there are some risks for tops, but bottoms seem to carry the greatest risks.

I don’t she plays BB when swinging so do I she is also looking not bb sex work 

[drscorpio]

With my first husband, we had both been bare only for years before we met (2005). We got tested after we got together (it was my first time in 3-4 years - I was definitely chasing without admitting it to myself) and stayed monogamous for a few years. When we decided to go open, he said, "Please, do not ask me to wear rubbers when I fuck." I told him that was fine, but if he was going bare, I was, too. We did the whole "only guys who (say they) are neg" thing for years eventually extending that to poz undetectable guys. I knew we were playing with fire; I will never know if he realized this. But we ended up staying neg long enough to go on PrEP. He just loved to watch other guys breed my ass - he couldn't get enough of it. We played separately, too, eventually; I just had more of a sex drive than he did. 

He died of a stroke in 2019. After being single for a couple of years, I met my current husband. He is much younger and well-hung; he keeps me well fucked enough that being monogamous hasn't been an issue. 

[Olderkinkybiguy]

I definitely don’t consider myself a bottom, but versatile is applicable in some situations. Unlike some married men on this site, my wife and I are still sexually active with each other, although not as often as I need. Since meeting my wife almost 20 years ago, I have taken the extra step to try and vet my partners more closely. There have been a few instances where I felt I might have caught something and was able to treat myself before having sex with my wife.

I am lucky that my wife understands I have desires and needs she just isn’t able, or willing, to do for me. She is not kinky and has no desire to sleep around. For a time, I was searching for a guy to move in with us who could be our domestic servant as well as my sex partner. That way I could get the sex I want as well as the frequency, and there would be no possibility of being an STD into the house. 
 

unfortunately, the few candidates never panned out. I am still hoping to cross paths with the right nympho raw slut. 

[Room4ustwo]

On 12/17/2024 at 9:19 AM, DNG999 said:

I no longer have sex with my wife. I only have sex with guys. Our sex life dried up years ago as I became more interested in cock. Companionship wise we are good and we are both happy that way. I’m also happy sexually as I can fuck as I please.

I am the same.  But it sounds like your wife knows of your choice and is ok with it.  My wife would never approve that I get sexual gratification by sucking cocks and getting fucked, so I keep these interests hidden and have done so for the last 25 years.

[DNG999]

3 hours ago, Room4ustwo said:

I am the same.  But it sounds like your wife knows of your choice and is ok with it.  My wife would never approve that I get sexual gratification by sucking cocks and getting fucked, so I keep these interests hidden and have done so for the last 25 years.

I’m in exactly the same boat as you are. My wife knows nothing of my tendencies and desires and I know that she would never understand. What she doesn’t know can’t hurt.. or so I keep telling myself 🙂

[Room4ustwo]

3 hours ago, DNG999 said:

I’m in exactly the same boat as you are. My wife knows nothing of my tendencies and desires and I know that she would never understand. What she doesn’t know can’t hurt.. or so I keep telling myself 🙂

Fortunately we give each other a lot of space and privacy.  We don't pick up one another's cell phones to browse.  We sleep in separate bedrooms.   I'm a bit concerned I will accidentally send a dick but I haven't done that and I remain ever mindful of the dangers. 

[CuckoldSissyHRo]

Dont have sex with my wife, she deny since almost 6 years, she says i am lucky to be her cuckold. Yes maybe it is, maybe not. Depends on situation ;).

[Njn0mc]

On 1/12/2025 at 3:30 PM, DNG999 said:

I’m in exactly the same boat as you are. My wife knows nothing of my tendencies and desires and I know that she would never understand. What she doesn’t know can’t hurt.. or so I keep telling myself 🙂

Same. It's my other private life that friends and family are not aware of.

I try to deal with other married guys and that keeps it quite. 

[DNG999]

6 hours ago, Njn0mc said:

Same. It's my other private life that friends and family are not aware of.

I try to deal with other married guys and that keeps it quite. 

I astound myself how well I can compartmentalise my life without the two bleeding into each other. It’s almost like I’m two people!

[pureuncutraw]

Same deal. Wife doesn’t know I enjoy men. She wants to get fucked but I always try to avoid her because I may have fucked three random guys that week or taken a couple loads at the porn theatre.

I am on PrEP, which simplifies things, but if I catch something and pass it onto her, we’d be over and I don’t want that.

I don’t feel bad because I LOVE cock. But I feel bad because it’s my duty to pleasure her and I can’t because I’m such a nasty pig.

[Room4ustwo]

6 hours ago, DNG999 said:

I astound myself how well I can compartmentalise my life without the two bleeding into each other. It’s almost like I’m two people!

I think the nonchalance with which I live these 2 separate lives helps make it work.  I never raise suspicions or act guilty about my behaviors because it is very reasonable to me that these 2 lives co-exist.  Most of the time I am a str8 and very boring hetero man in a very long conventional marriage, and sometimes I am a total hedonist and pretty sensual and adventurous linky gay man. Why live just one life, when you can live two? 

[Njn0mc]

14 hours ago, DNG999 said:

I astound myself how well I can compartmentalise my life without the two bleeding into each other. It’s almost like I’m two people!

Your so correct.. Yes same I'm like two completely different people also!

Been like this for years. When I play with men I'm so different and my wants are different and twisted.

[fantasyreader]

I got the full array of STD tests and started PrEP and DoxyPEP with 3-month follow ups at my doctor. I typically play with people who are on PrEP or poz undetectable, where I'm able to select. DoxyPEP users are also preferred.

I've got a couple of regulars I see (2 promiscuous tops, 1 promiscuous bottom) and we all always bareback. My main top, who was my first and who I see the most, is an older guy who is HIV positive on meds with undetectable viral loads. He's taken me to a sex party in Memphis called Blackout where I topped twice and bottomed a heck of a lot. Next trip is likely going to be to Flex Spa in Atlanta. Can't really figure out status at big parties, it's just a case of going for it, enjoying the night, and trusting in the pharmaceutical precautions I have in place.

I still bareback with my wife, our main rules are that I'm not to bring home any drama and she's the only woman. I did accidentally bring oral gonorrhea back from Memphis, but we fixed that with antibiotics and carried on. She did tease me quite a bit about the STD but she wasn't actually bothered by it. We'd accepted that occasionally picking up a few bugs was inevitable when we embraced this lifestyle. She has permission to play around too, although hasn't done so yet. We only live once and we intend to enjoy ourselves.