Re-emergence of "gay" as an insult in Western culture... should we be worried or do anything about it.

[PozBearWI]

To the OP's question here; Should we be worried or do anything about this...

I'll throw in my experience from having lived the gay revolution from 1969 to now.  It makes no sense to fret about words.  They are words and as we can easily observe, the definitions and intent of them morph.  It isn't so much what anyone says to or about us.  For openers, I submit it is better they be saying something than be silent.  Wouldn't it be better to actually talk about it with the individual speaking and perhaps, discover what they actually mean than for us to assume we understand their intent by one word?  I think in most domains this might be our modern social media problem; we have opinions before we have understanding.  

 

[nanana]

I agree with you PozBearWI. Talking can lead to breakthroughs in understanding. I’m also appreciative that there’s a fine line between a right and a privilege, with one frequently confused for another. I am fond of rights for all but often find privileges less defensible. I am sure that many non-gays are sensitive to what may seem like gay privileges OR to incursions on their rights to live the lives they want to live. I am also sensitive to this AND thick skinned. There’s room for us all, from the sluttiest whore to the most righteous Muslim, if we just figure out the right balance between public and private spaces and how to treat each other without violence in the shared public sphere.  

[TaKinGDeePanal]

7 hours ago, Poz50something said:

I am not targeting you. Sorry if I came across as doing that. I am merely pointing out that there’s an obvious melanin component to him targeting me. 

It's all good.

[MrPolite]

13 hours ago, TaKinGDeePanal said:

Because I've identified him as a shiver in search of a spine - and he knows it. BTW, I'm not sure why you're also trying to target me.

The hell does that mean? you talk in book titles, that's obviously an indicator of why you can't see or refuse to accept what I'm talking about.

Edited December 8 by MrPolite

[BootmanLA]

14 hours ago, MrPolite said:

No, actually, you're the one terrified by arguments, and you lack intellectual curiosity or liking for debate, indicated by how you won't say a thing or complain when this thread and my account is disappeared, just like so many others - even though you chose to participate in it.

So, yes, it's you... who (assumes most nasal voice ever) HEH! *pushes glasses up nose* are like, heh *pushes glasses up nose* intellectually challenged. (spoken like a spotty geek who actually thinks Coen brothers movies are entertaining)

If your account disappeared, presumably it's for violating the rules posted here, I'd imagine it's also a violation of the rules to create a new account in an attempt to get around being banned, but I couldn't speak directly to that. 

[Erik62]

1 hour ago, MrPolite said:

The hell does that mean? you talk in book titles, that's obviously an indicator of why you can't see or refuse to accept what I'm talking about.

Fortunately, free thought & relatively uncensored freedom of speech is the cornerstone of BZ. We are FREE to make statements that go against another's viewpoint. Everything on this site is based on individual opinion. Some of us love Trump😱(ouch), some of us hate 🤬 or are completely ambivalent🙄.Some don't approve of BBing, others can't do without the paradise of FF🤪🤪(Oh Yes, just feed it to me). 

    Basically, you cannot force an opinion to be accepted but, you can have the pleasure of discussing the issue without any animosity. CHILL 😁. 

[TaKinGDeePanal]

4 hours ago, MrPolite said:

The hell does that mean? you talk in book titles, that's obviously an indicator of why you can't see or refuse to accept what I'm talking about.

You make Geoffrey Howe look like a formidable opponent.

[PERVERSATILE]

 I call everyone in the Alphabet Community The Skittles, Skittles Community or depending on age, the SkittleKids that covers all the flavors and all the colors.

Edited December 10 by PERVERSATILE

[Erik62]

8 hours ago, PERVERSATILE said:

 I call everyone in the Alphabet Community The Skittles, Skittles Community or depending on age, the SkittleKids that covers all the flavors and all the colors.

Cannot agree more. 

[ellentonboy]

It is a source of concern for me.  I happen to been on a nonsexual "forum" regarding sports, actually tennis to be exact.  It has over a million members, you can only post about men's professional tennis and it's members are mostly male.  I know alot of people think that those men who follow tennis are gay, or at least that used to be the feeling I got.

I can tell you this, the majority of the members on this forum are straight and the words gay (and worse) are pretty common, and have picked up in the past five years or so.  There are members from all over the world, and with Novak Djokovic being one of the most popular players in the world, guys from the Balkan nations and Eastern Europe are very active.  They are also extremely homophobic and up until recent times, had no problems expressing their views.  Now the mens tennis forum is similar to here, you post an avatar and the nation you are from.  If you share anything else that is up to you, but there is no "profile" area as we have here, so no other links or personal information can be shared.  You can share with other members in a private message but that is at your own peril.

I made the mistake that I watched women's tennis in just ONE thread, just like we are posting now.  You would not believe the backlash.  I was called "Nancy", "Soyboy", "Pedofile", and worse.  It got so bad I had to go to the moderators.  It literally took me several years to get the slurs to stop, and there were many guys that said  "gays" were responsible for so many of the world's problems today.  When Monkeypox was in the news, they had a thread in the non-tennis area, and the majority of guys were happy, hoping it would "eliminate" the gays.  I had one German poster who would ask questions like "how often do you get "gang banged" and "did I feel I was responsible for spreading disease".  I did get the thread taken down and that particular poster was eventually given a permanent ban, I wasn't the only person he harassed.  But one thing he would say in his defense was that using the word "gay" or "faggot" was common at his work place, and this guy claimed to be a psychiatrist so I found that hard to believe.  But I heard the word used by guys from many nations, many feeling that the Pride flag was an embarrassment and that "woke" culture was taking over, and they didn't like it.  One Canadian said he was embarrassed his country flew that flag in common areas and that he felt it had a negative impact on children.  I don't understand why a flag would have that reaction but, he said he was questioned by his children.  Well, kids ask alot of questions.

But it is disturbing, right now all I have up is my "handle", and a picture of a beach.  I won't even say I am from the US, as that opens up another "can of worms" so to speak.  Yes, there is an "ignore" feature, but when there are twenty guys hurling insults at you in gets to be a bit much.  I finally messaged several moderators and even contacted VerticalScope, who claim to have over 800 forum communities, one of which was the tennis forum I posted on.  An  individual  from VerticalScope  wrote  me stating  they were going through the posts on the tennis forum and were making a list of "offenders" who they were going to email and inform that the gay bashing needed to stop.

So even if you are not hearing it in your workplace, or in your daily life, it is becoming a real problem online and I have a feeling it is only going to get worse.  My advice, for those of you who have experienced this on a non-sexual forum, is to complain to the mods, and if you get no relief contact the owners of the Forum.  Sometimes just speaking up will help.

[hntnhole]

On 12/7/2024 at 4:20 PM, tallslenderguy said:

As does fundamentalist Christianity

It's not just the fundies - the "mainline" liturgical denominations can be just as misguided.  I know more about the Lutheran ones (WI Synod, MO Synod, Augustana Synod) that some of the larger, less myopic ones, but it's not just the fundamentalist ones.  

People who get the notion that they're better/more intelligent, more erudite than others (particularly via their churches), but inclusive of many different types of "communities", be it in-the-flesh, or merely over the ether, are never interesting folks, and seldom have anything interesting to say.  

 

 

[hntnhole]

In the response to TallSlenderGuy's quote above, wherein he makes specific mention of fundamentalist religious folk using the term (gay) as a pejorative, use of that term in that way is hardly limited to the fundamentalist religions.  It's used by members of more highly liturgical denominations in the same way. 

The use of "gay" as a pejorative (within the religious community of almost all traditions) is common.  The users may think they're being less judgemental, but that's seldom the case.  They think it's less damaging (this being in a "church" setting) than using words like fag, homo, cocksucker, etc. 

The language may be cleaned up a bit, but the intent remains unmistakable.