Ageism in sex clubs / saunas

[NWUSHorny]

1 hour ago, AirmaxUK said:

There was a big thing about consent in kink on Instagram a while ago.  Lots of younger guys pointing the finger at older guys for their behaviour in darkrooms.  Thing is that older guys were brought up in a world where the cruising protocol was different to how it is now. Both sides need to understand that... and there's no excuse for being rude or disrespectful as a result. That includes being a persistent pest who won't take no as an answer as well as being overtly rude to a genuine show of interest.     

There is a venue in LA that has a sign at the entrance to their darkroom explaining what is and isn't acceptable behavior in a darkroom, and that you are agreeing to and accepting it by entering the play space. I think it is a good idea, but on the other hand if a venue posted something like that here in the PNW the play space would be avoided and the cock blockers of all ages, but especially the older bathhouse slut shaming queens, would complain incessantly to the management until the sign was removed and the space was opened up for everyone.

I'll admit I was a little taken back the last 1st time I had guys backing up on my hard cock uninvited in a darkroom. Four of them managed to get me in them before I got out of that packed writhing pit of raw male lust, it must have taken me 10 - 15 minutes to regain my composure enough to go back in, and have loved spaces like that ever since. I would have been 30 at the time, it was at the Denver Midtowne Spa Mardi Gras blackout party in 2000.

[partying.hard]

I get rejected.  And it used to be humbling.  But these days, I focus my attention of the guys who appear interested in fucking with me. And I’ve learned that “no” is ok. It’s not my place to question why.

[KindaBasic]

I see this all the time on here, but I can’t say that this has been much experience since hitting my latter 50s. I’m 61 with an average build and, honestly, I get more action now than ever before in my life. And most of the blokes I hook up with are in their 20s and 30s. 

[Falls727]

The whole point of going to the bathhouse is to enjoy yourself and experience the joys of raw and wild fucking and breeding. As a community we must put a stop to our incessant focus on looks, body type, cock size, and focus on losing ourselves in the wonders of hot man-on-man sex. If you click with someone, great! If not, be polite and move on. There is already enough hate towards our community, it shouldn’t come from within our community. We must stand united. We must enjoy that hot and sensual fucking and breeding that comes from our most pinnate and animalistic urges: fuck and be fucked. 

[NWUSHorny]

4 hours ago, partying.hard said:

I get rejected.  And it used to be humbling.  But these days, I focus my attention of the guys who appear interested in fucking with me. And I’ve learned that “no” is ok. It’s not my place to question why.

Exactly, move on and don't let them kill the sexual energy for the whole place.

[phillygwm]

Speaking as someone in his late 50s, I wouldn't call it ageism any more than it's sexism if you're not attracted to women, or racism if you prefer someone of a certain color.  I know many on here take on all cummers but some people are just attracted to whom they're attracted. 

I'm typically into younger guys and picky at that.  It's a bit ironic because most of my platonic friends are quite a bit older.  Yeah, it's difficult but that's my "fault".  If I could be attracted to everyone I'd get laid a lot more!  So I can hardly take offense to someone who rejects me as too old, or not buff enough, or whatever.

That said, there's no need to be rude about it.  Politely indicate your disinterest and move on.  Similarly, when you're the one rejected (which predictably happens to me much more often than not) don't get aggressive or creepy, move on.

 

[Jasenotts]

I’m now 63 and getting far more action than I did a few years ago. When I reached my 40’s and even more so during my 50’s visits to saunas etc were often a waste of time. The well known dating apps were even less productive. These last few years since I reached 60 things seem to be changing. As a slightly chubby, but not seriously overweight bottom with a reasonably big ass, I’m getting more and more attention from younger guys. On the dating apps I now describe myself as an older more mature bottom and this seems to attract those younger guys who prefer older. When staying in a hotel in somewhere like London and even more so Birmingham or Manchester there seem to be quite a few young Asian and black guys who are looking for older white bottoms to fuck.

[hungry_hole]

When I was in my 20's I liked guys in their 20's and 30's. This is why I wouldn't complain about young guys not interested in sex with older. 

 

[bbbear2000]

17 hours ago, pignpig said:

I’m 38 years old, and many times I feel rejected in sex clubs and saunas in Europe or America... But what makes me even sadder is seeing men over 60 constantly being rejected. I hate the way young gay men treat older guys.

I have a 61-year-old boyfriend, and when he goes to these clubs, he is completely invisible to the people there. The sad reality is that it seems like the older we get, the harder it becomes to find sex.

How do you deal with this?

I love going to those clubs and the future really worries me.

I understand that feeling in general even when online as I'm only 24 but because I'm obese as a bear practically non of the guys I'm attracted wanna be with me romantically or sexually especially since I've only got an average cock size and don't have a twink type ass so don't attract anyone I'm into lol.

Usually the closest guys into me is either in Wales or the Philippines 😅😂

My advice dye your pubes and then use a gloryhoke as am sure no one would know that ur in ur 60s or whatever then.😁

Or look for chasers who r into daddies or whatever on certain apps as from what I've seen most twinks usually go for older men for some reason or at least in areas like malvern in England.

[hntnhole]

23 hours ago, pignpig said:

How do you deal with this?

I just hit the darkrooms .... no one can see anything about you, if they even care .... 

One thing about Ft. L. - if you can fuck & breed, they don't give a rats ass how 'experienced' you are.  

[Pozguyinchi]

23 hours ago, Falls727 said:

The whole point of going to the bathhouse is to enjoy yourself and experience the joys of raw and wild fucking and breeding. As a community we must put a stop to our incessant focus on looks, body type, cock size, and focus on losing ourselves in the wonders of hot man-on-man sex. If you click with someone, great! If not, be polite and move on. There is already enough hate towards our community, it shouldn’t come from within our community. We must stand united. We must enjoy that hot and sensual fucking and breeding that comes from our most pinnate and animalistic urges: fuck and be fucked. 

That’s easy to say but men like what they like. I have learned that not everyone wants to breed me. I had a guy once come up to me and say… I am sorry I fine you attractive but you are not what I’m looking for. I thought it was sweet that he said that to me but it wasn’t necessary. I wasn’t is type. It happens. As a bottom I get bred a lot by guys that most would think are not someone I would go for. My excitement comes from pleasing a man. Having him get off in me. 

[KindaBasic]

On 2/16/2025 at 8:21 PM, partying.hard said:

I get rejected.  And it used to be humbling.  But these days, I focus my attention of the guys who appear interested in fucking with me. And I’ve learned that “no” is ok. It’s not my place to question why.

Exactly. I turn down guys myself, and it’s not because I’m a jerk. I’m just not interested to them for whatever reason. Why should I get torn up when I get turned down? 

[KindaBasic]

2 hours ago, Pozguyinchi said:

That’s easy to say but men like what they like. I have learned that not everyone wants to breed me. I had a guy once come up to me and say… I am sorry I fine you attractive but you are not what I’m looking for. I thought it was sweet that he said that to me but it wasn’t necessary. I wasn’t is type. It happens. As a bottom I get bred a lot by guys that most would think are not someone I would go for. My excitement comes from pleasing a man. Having him get off in me. 

Recently some guy walked up to me and told me, “I bet I’m not your type. You probably only go for young guys.” I got to say that being told what I probably do or do not like was an instant turn off. It also felt a bit manipulative. I just told him not to lay his insecurities on me, moved on. 

[KindaBasic]

17 hours ago, hungry_hole said:

When I was in my 20's I liked guys in their 20's and 30's. This is why I wouldn't complain about young guys not interested in sex with older. 

 

Truth. Until I hit my mid to late 40s, I was really only interested in people closer to my age. 

[Christopher]

I'm late 40's, cute, decent shape  and very into bottoming for men in their 60s, 70s or 80s. I find many guys to use me. Younger bottoms should submit to older men. It's great!!!!