Advice on how to prevent premature ejaculation and be more confident when topping

[Tanbbottom]

On 4/24/2025 at 7:22 AM, Bokkierob said:

I don’t overthink it. If I’m fucking a lad who really triggers my hardon - short, husky, hairy then I’m gunna cum in seconds and I just enjoy it and breed him. I don’t like holding back, I gotta cum.. Most men I’ve loaded quickly have taken it as a compliment that I’ve enjoyed their hole so much. Also wait 10 minutes and I’ll be back inside them and will last much longer.

I've never received a breeding I didn't enjoy  ... and some came as he pushed in. Fuckin amazing. 

I have had tops take so long it became a burden. I began to wonder if I really wanted him to continue to orgasm. At times only my love of the load kept me hanging in. And if after all that he doesn't climax  ... ugh!

Pump and dump or quicker is my favorite, especially with stranger’s. 

And as mostly a bottom myself I will probably unload pretty darn fast. I apologize but most guys assure me it is not a problem. They, like me, are thankful for the breeding!💦💦💦💦💦

[hungry_hole]

On 4/24/2025 at 7:22 AM, Bokkierob said:

I just enjoy it and breed him. I don’t like holding back, I gotta cum.

Some guys feel bad when they cum to quickly, but I love it when it happens. I like even better if the guy pulls out and leaves without saying a word

[phillygwm]

On 4/23/2025 at 8:08 PM, JesseAaron1385 said:

Thanks, I really appreciate that. I know a lot of bottoms are just happy to get fucked and get a load but I can't help but feel like I should be more capable for them. I have a fear of disappointment and this one hits me hard.

There's an old IT saying:  It's a feature, not a bug.  Which is to say lean into it.  Not everyone wants to get railed for an hour.  I was recently at a party where I (top) couldn't cum quickly enough for the bottom.  There were various (unimportant) reasons for that but the moral is that there are a lot of guys who just want as much DNA as they can take.  They'd rather take a dozen loads in an hour than have one guy lasting that long.

[TXltnpozcumdump88]

I’ve had the same issue. I love being a bottom and taking all loads but I also love to share my loads.
I want to last long fuck n breed. 
I want to have my own ☣️ family 😈🤤

[Tiboer]

As was mentioned before, viagra or cialis do wonders.  You’ll get rock hard whether you’re nervous or not.  For me, they also weirdly dull the sensation, so I last much longer than I normally.

Although I solely topped for the first 10 years of my sexual life, I’m a terrible top.  I have a big cock, which bottoms love no matter what I do with it.  So, I had no incentive to become a better top.  Now that I mostly bottom, I can see what great tops should do.  

If you use viagra or cialis, you can forget about the nervousness and focus more on being attentive to your bottom.

[topblkmale]

On 4/23/2025 at 7:28 PM, JesseAaron1385 said:

When I started having sex I was traditionally the bottom. I feel this can be attributed to the fact that I am a passive and submissive person rather than an actual desire to be a bottom. Well, at this point in my life I can't bottom due to a combination of various reasons and situations so I am trying to become more of a top in order to maintain a satisfying sexual life. However, I am very shy about topping and have very little confidence when I do get the opportunity, I either cum too quickly or I tend to get lost in my head and overthink every little detail (finishing too quickly, making myself last longer, is my partner enjoying, ways I can be better, what I can do differently, etc) which results in performance anxiety. I have tried:

• Numbing spray with lidocaine - didn’t really do anything
• Numbing lube with benzocaine - more numbed their ass than my dick or numbed too much and couldn’t keep my wood
• Jerking off and cumming before sex so I’m not so sensitive
• Slowing down and pausing to prevent myself from cumming
• Wearing a condom - made it impossible for me to stay hard and cum
• Thinking of distractions/daydreaming - this just leads to me losing my wood
• Focusing on other things around me like music or the tv
• Wearing a cockring - they are generally uncomfortable and make my balls ache but this only results in me once again losing my wood
• Antidepressants - didn’t really do anything
• Downers - just resulted in not being fully hard and making it impossible for me to cum
• Stimulants - didn’t affect my ejaculation any other than making me sweat and feel like I was running a marathon trying to catch my breath
• Being stoned - this was fun but did nothing other than make me easily distracted
• Being drunk - fun but sloppy and usually prevents me from getting completely hard or cumming
• Other pharmaceutical categories like benzos, muscle relaxers, steroids - benzos do nothing until I take enough to fall asleep, muscle relaxers do nothing until I take enough to feel jello-y, steroids not sure what these would do but I’ve tried em
• Poppers - these just make my head swim until I either get nauseated or go soft
• Pain stimuli - to distract me from the feelings of pleasure
• Frequently changing positions - to differ the stimuli as well as have a mini break from the stimulation
• Relaxing myself/muscles to slow down climax - breathing evenly, releasing any tension I’m holding, basically meditating while I have sex
• Tensing my muscles - squeezing, tensing, clenching my leg, groin, and ass muscles in order to prevent myself from shooting

It seems like everything I try either doesn’t work or does the opposite, making me feel impotent, and neither of those results help me gain confidence in myself or my actions. It's really starting to get to me…does anyone have any suggestions or advice?

 

Let me help you.

You left the most important thing off your list for a top.

Attraction.