I Don't Trust Myself

[nppf69]

Darren stepped into Randy’s apartment, the warmth enveloping him like a second skin. The air was thick with the scent of man, a musk that hit Darren’s senses like a wave. His cock twitched in response, the familiar ache of desire settling low in his belly. Randy let him in, clad only in loose gym shorts, his salt-and-pepper hair tousled, a knowing grin spreading across his face. “Right on time,” Randy drawled, his voice low and inviting. “You look nervous. Should we relax over a beer before we start?”

Darren nodded, his movements deliberate as he crossed the room. The apartment was sparse but lived-in, the walls adorned with framed photographs—some tasteful, others raw and unfiltered.

Randy came back from the kitchen and handed Darren a bottle. Darren cracked open his beer, the cold bottle a stark contrast to the heat pooling in his veins. Randy patted the cushion beside him, and Darren sat, the couch sinking beneath his weight. The proximity was electric, Randy’s presence dominating the space.

“So,” Randy began, his tone casual but probing, “how long have you been into barebacking?” Darren shifted, the question catching him off guard. He took a long pull from his beer, stalling for time. “A while,” he murmured, his voice husky. “It’s… I couldn't get it out of my mind. Then once I tried, it felt so good. But I know it's riskier.”

Randy’s grin widened, his eyes sharp. “Riskier’s part of the point, isn’t it? The thrill of it. Skin on skin, no barriers. Just raw, unfiltered heat.” Darren’s breath hitched, the words striking a chord deep within him. He nodded, his cheeks flushing under Randy’s intense gaze. “Yeah,” he admitted, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s… it’s a rush.”

Randy leaned closer, his scent enveloping Darren—just shy of being ripe. “Tell me more,” he urged, his voice a low rumble. “Why do you crave it? What’s the appeal?” Darren hesitated, the beer loosening his tongue but not his inhibitions. “It’s… it’s the connection,” he said, his words tumbling out. “The intimacy. Knowing there’s nothing between you. Just… flesh. Heat. Then cum. Where it belongs.”

Randy’s gaze sharpened, hungry now. “Intimacy's a powerful thing, Darren. It can make a man do things he wouldn’t otherwise. Things he’s too scared to admit he wants.” Darren’s heart pounded, the truth of Randy’s words hitting him like a punch. He drained his beer, setting the bottle on the table with a thud.

Randy stood, his shorts clinging to his thighs, the outline of his cock unmistakable. “Come with me, I've set up for the shoot in the bedroom,” he said, his tone firm, brooking no argument. Darren followed, his legs heavy, his mind racing. The bedroom was bathed in the harsh glow of photo lights, the air charged with anticipation. “Strip,” Randy commanded, his voice leaving no room for refusal.

Darren obeyed, his fingers trembling as he unbuttoned his shirt, then shucked off his pants. His cock stood proud, pre-come glistening at the tip. Randy’s eyes raked over him, a camera already in hand. “Pose,” he said, his voice low. “Let me see you.”

Randy queued up bareback porn on a nearby screen, the flickering images of bodies fucking without barriers heightening the tension in the room. Darren’s cock twitched, his gaze torn between the screen and Randy’s intense stare. "Let's make sure you stay hard for the camera," Randy said.

Darren spread his legs, his chest flushing under the lights. Randy’s camera clicked, capturing him from every angle. The sound was rhythmic, hypnotic, as Randy circled him like a predator. “Tell me more,” Randy pressed, his voice a whisper now. “What else turns you on? What else do you crave? Do you ever top? Or is that big beautiful cock just for show?”

Darren’s breath quickened, his inhibitions crumbling under Randy’s relentless gaze. “I… I've tried topping a few times, but wasn't into it. I really just love being fucked, submitting to a man,” he admitted, his voice shaking. “Being seen. Being wanted.” Randy smirked, his fingers flying over the camera’s controls. “Good,” he said. “Because I’m going to capture every inch of you. Every secret. Every desire.”

"Are you more of a pit man or a nip man?" Randy asked? "Sorry?" Darren replied? "Which erogenous zone turns you on more? I, for example am a nip man, as you can see by the fact my nips have been enlarged by being played with," Randy explained. "Oh, pits for me then," Darren confessed. "Right," said Randy, "lets get some good photos of your pits then, so guys know what to do with you before they fuck their raw cocks into that beautiful hole."

Randy continued taking photos for about 20 minutes. “That should about do it," Randy said, "unless you want a pic of your ass taking raw cock,” Randy teased, his voice laced with challenge. “No bottom's BBRTS profile is complete without one of those. You can trust me to pull out whenever you say.”

Darren hesitated, his breath coming in short gasps. He thought Randy was actually right about that. He was jealous of other bottoms showing off with such pics. “But I don’t trust myself,” he said silently to himself. Despite this better judgment, he nodded, his body betraying him. 

"Doggie position then" Randy instructed, moving Darren to where the lighting was best. Randy reached in his nightstand and got out some lube and a bottle of poppers. He took off his shorts, revealing the fat cock Darren had been dreaming of since their first connection and tossed the poppers to Darren. "Take a big hit," Randy told him, "I'll be able to get in quicker that way." Darren complied though he recognized this would cloud his judgment even more.

Randy stepped closer, his cock thick and ready, the head glistening with pre-cum. “You sure about this?” he asked, his tone deceptively gentle.

Darren’s heart hammered in his chest, his mind a whirlwind of desire and doubt. “Yeah,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. Randy didn’t hesitate, his hands gripping Darren’s hips as he lined up his cock with Darren’s hole. The first thrust was slow, deliberate, the stretch sending a jolt of pleasure through Darren’s body. Randy’s camera clicked several times, capturing the moment.

“Should I pull out?” Randy teased, his hips moving more quickly now, his cock siding deeper into Darren's hole. Darren found himself unable to say anything. He should tell Randy to stop, but this felt so good. He just moaned, his head falling back, his hands clutching at the sheets. “If you don’t say the word soon Darren, I’m going to end up cumming,” Randy warned, his voice rough, his thrusts deepening. Darren’s eyes rolled back, his body trembling on the edge of release.

Still, all Darren could do was moan in pleasure. Randy growled, his grip tightening on Darren’s hips as he buried himself deep, his camera flashing one last time. Darren’s breath hitched, his body convulsing as Randy’s cum filled him, hot and thick.

Randy collapsed beside him, his breath ragged, his voice a whisper. “Next time,” he said, his tone laced with promise, “we’ll make that last longer.” Darren lay there, his body still trembling, the challenge hanging in the air like a shadow. He should not have let things go this far. He should go get a dose of PEP and resist doing this again. But could he trust himself?

[austin_submale]

Hot new chapter!
 

[onlyraw]

Beautiful writing…. So erotic the way you focus on yearning and desire…. The need… but knowing it’s “wrong” but wanting it anyway 

[cman54]

Definitely a good chapter. Darren should ask Randy how long will it take him to get hard and give him another load. Once that first load is in there he should get more!!!

[Ready2DoThis]

This story really increases my desire to take my first poz load. Well written.

[kitpig]

Lovely continuation - I hope this isn't a 1 load and you are out story!

[toolman1966]

excellent tale of neg falling prey to a toxic cock

[nppf69]

Darren had trouble sleeping that night, his thoughts torn between guilt and arousal. He finally got himself to sleep with the promise to himself he'd go get a dose of PEP before work in the morning. When the morning came though he struggled with feeling embarrassed about having to ask for the PEP. He told himself he needed to get over it or he really would be at risk of converting. But then he found he had gotten fully hard at that thought. The idea he might be converting evidently turned him on. What the fuck was the matter with him?

In the end, Darren just went to work and told himself he'd think about going to the clinic later. Midway through the day, he got a text from Randy telling him the photos were ready. "I think they turned out really well," Randy said, "why don't you come over later and we can look at them and I'll make any tweaks you want." Darren didn't think he should do this since he would probably end up letting Randy fuck him again. But once again he had a hard on. "I won't make any moves if you don't want," Randy texted. And against his better judgment, Darren found himself agreeing.

Darren's heart hammered against his ribs as he stepped into Randy's dimly lit apartment, the air thick with the scent of leather and something darker, something that made his stomach clench. He'd spent the rest of his day at work, his mind a battlefield of guilt and arousal, the memory of Randy's words, next time we'll make it last longer, echoing in his head like a dirty mantra.

Randy stood by the window, his silhouette backlit by the streetlights outside. He turned as Darren entered, a smirk playing on his lips. "Took you long enough," he said, his voice low and laced with amusement, but as he surveyed Darren it turned to concern. "You okay? You look like shit."

Darren's throat tightened. "I… I've been really confused," he stammered, his voice barely above a whisper. "Have a seat," Randy said, "let it out, it's safe, I won't judge you."

They both sat. Randy looked deep into Darren's eyes and waited. "I got carried away with you yesterday ... I promised myself I'd go to the clinic and get PEP, but I was so turned on by the thought I might be converting. I mean, what the hell?" Darren blurted out.

Randy surpressed a smirk. "I wouldn't worry about it Darren. You were always going to end up poz someday. Why not today?"

"What do you mean?" Darren mumbled, looking even more confused.

Randy responded, "you're a bottom who loves being fucked raw, who loves getting cum shot deep in his ass. No point denying that, I saw it for myself. Guys like you can try to delay the inevitable, but sooner or later the desire leads to the inevitable."

Darren looked down at Randy's torso and saw him tenting in his shorts. "I don't know if I believe that," he said, "I've been holding on to the idea someday I'd find a boyfriend and my desires would be taken care of that way. But if I were poz ..."

"You think you'd ever be satisfied with only one raw cock breeding that hole for the rest of your life?" Randy asked, somewhat rhetorically.

"No, probably not," Darren admitted, "but shouldn't I try?"

Randy smiled benevolently, "down that road just lies betrayal: you end up cheating on him or he ends up cheating on you, or both, and there's a fair chance you end up poz anyway, from someone you cheat with, or from your boyfriend before he knows he's poz. If you want a boyfriend you're far better off dating a poz top who accepts your desire for other men's cum. There are lots of nice poz guys in this town."

"You make it sound so simple..." Darren said. 

"I know it doesn't feel like it, but it actually is that simple," Randy murmered, and he took his cock out of his shorts and started stroking it as he said, "if you were already poz, we'd just be two guys who are down to fuck. I'd slide this poz cock into your hole raw and you'd beg for my cum until I bred you. And you'd be pleased with yourself when I did." 

Darren knew this part was true. And he also knew that for this evening, at least, he was going to give in again. Without saying more, he started taking off his shirt. "I don't know if I can do this," Darren said, staring at Randy's cock.

Randy’s lips curved into a wicked grin. "You can," he said, his tone brooking no argument. "And you will."

With a swift motion, Randy grabbed Darren’s wrist, pulling him closer. His other hand went to the waistband of Darren’s pants, unbuttoning them with practiced ease. Darren’s breath caught as Randy’s fingers brushed against his erection, his touch sending sparks of pleasure through his body.

"Don’t you want my poz cock again?" Randy asked, his voice a dangerous purr.

Darren’s eyes fluttered closed as he nodded, his resistance crumbling under the weight of his desire. "Yes," he whispered, the word barely audible.

Randy’s lips brushed against Darren’s ear. "Say it," he commanded. "Tell me what you want."

Darren’s cheeks burned, but he obeyed, his voice trembling. "I want your poz cock."

Randy’s grip tightened on Darren’s wrist, his other hand sliding down to grip Darren’s ass. "Good boy," he murmured, his breath hot against Darren’s skin. "Now get on your knees."

Darren’s heart pounded as he sank to the floor, his knees hitting the carpet with a soft thud. Randy stood before him, his shorts already shucked, his thick, cut cock jutting out, pre-cum glistening at the tip. Darren’s mouth watered, his body aching with need.

"Take it," Randy ordered, his voice firm. "Show me how much you want it."

Darren didn’t hesitate. He leaned forward, wrapping his lips around Randy’s cock, his tongue swirling around the head as he took him deep into his mouth. Randy groaned, his fingers on Darren's head, guiding him with a rhythm that was both gentle and demanding.

"That’s it," Randy murmured, his voice thick with pleasure. "Suck it like you mean it."

Darren moaned around Randy’s cock, his hands gripping Randy’s thighs as he bobbed his head, his throat tightening around the thickness. Randy’s taste—salty and musky—filled his mouth, and Darren reveled in it, his inhibitions melting away.

"Enough," Randy said abruptly, pulling Darren off his cock. Darren whimpered in protest, but Randy’s hand on his shoulder was firm. "Time for the main event."

Randy pushed Darren to his feet, his hands moving swiftly to strip him of his clothes. Darren stood naked before him, his body flushed and trembling with anticipation. Randy’s eyes raked over him, his gaze possessive and hungry.

"Turn around," Randy commanded, his voice dripping with authority.

Darren obeyed, his heart racing as he bent over the couch, his ass exposed. Randy’s fingers traced the curve of his cheeks, his touch sending shivers down Darren’s spine.

"Your ass is mine now," Randy whispered, his breath hot against Darren’s ear. "Poz or not, your ass is mine."

Darren’s breath hitched as Randy’s fingers teased his hole, circling the tight entrance before pushing inside. Darren gasped, his body arching as Randy prepped him, his fingers stretching him open.

"Ready?" Randy asked, his voice low and dangerous.

Darren nodded, his voice caught in his throat. "Yes," he managed to whisper.

Randy didn’t waste another moment. He positioned himself behind Darren, his cock pressing against his hole, and with one swift thrust, he buried himself inside. Darren cried out, his body convulsing as Randy filled him, the sensation overwhelming.

"Fuck," Randy groaned, his hands gripping Darren’s hips tightly. "You feel so good."

Randy began to move, his thrusts slow and deliberate at first, then faster, harder, as Darren adjusted to his size. Darren moaned, his hole clenching around Randy’s cock, the pleasure building to an unbearable intensity.

"Say it again," Randy demanded, his voice strained with effort. "Tell me what you want."

Darren’s breath came in ragged gasps as he obeyed. "Your poz cock," he panted, his voice hoarse. "Your poz cum."

Randy’s thrusts became frantic, his cock pounding into Darren with a force that left him breathless. "That’s right," Randy growled, his voice raw with desire. "You’re mine to breed, to fill with my poz seed."

Darren’s eyes rolled back as he teetered on the edge of orgasm, his body trembling with anticipation. Randy’s hand reached around, gripping Darren’s cock, stroking him in time with his thrusts.

"Cum for me," Randy commanded, his voice a harsh whisper. "Let go."

Darren’s body exploded, his orgasm ripping through him like a tidal wave. He cried out, his cum spilling onto the couch as Randy’s thrusts became frantic, his own release imminent.

"Fuck, Darren," Randy groaned, his voice thick with pleasure. "You’re so tight, so perfect."

With a final, deep thrust, Randy came, his cock pulsing inside Darren as he spilled his load. Darren moaned, his body shaking as he felt Randy’s cum filling him, the sensation both filthy and exhilarating.

Randy pulled out, his cum dripping from Darren’s ass onto the couch. He smirked, his hand trailing down Darren’s back in a possessive gesture. "Next time," he said, his voice laced with promise, "we’ll make it everything you really want."

Darren’s breath hitched, his mind racing as he processed Randy’s words. Make it what he really wanted? The question hung in the air, unanswered, as Randy’s hand rested on his hip, his touch both comforting and dangerous.

Darren turned to face him, his heart pounding, his body still buzzing with the aftermath of their encounter. Randy’s gaze was intense, his expression unreadable.

"What do you mean?" Darren asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

Randy’s smirk returned, his eyes glinting with a dark promise. "You’ll find out," he said, his voice low and dangerous. "Until then, remember this: you’re mine, Darren. Poz or not, your ass is mine."

Darren’s breath caught in his throat, his mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions. Fear, desire, and something deeper—something he couldn’t quite name—warred within him. He opened his mouth to respond, but Randy silenced him with a kiss, his lips firm and demanding.

When Randy finally pulled away, Darren was left breathless, his thoughts in chaos. Randy’s hand cupped his cheek, his touch gentle despite the storm in his eyes.

"Now, time to look at your photos," Randy said, his voice soft but firm. "Gotta get your profile updated."

Darren nodded, his body still trembling as he moved back to sit and look at Randy's computer, his mind reeling from the intensity of their encounter. Randy had been right, they were sexy shots, especially the one of Randy's bare cock halfway in his hole. Darren had no suggestions. Randy copied the photos onto a USB and handed them to Darren, "go home and get these up right away," he said, "the night is young, plenty of time for you to pull another load." Darren looked shocked. "Just a suggestion," Randy said, "but I'm guessing one load isn't remotely all that sweet ass desires."

As he left Randy’s apartment, the question lingered, unanswered, in the back of Darren' mind: Is this what I want?

The night air was cool against his skin, but Darren barely noticed. His thoughts were consumed by Randy, by the pleasure and the danger, by the promise of something more. He walked home, his heart pounding, his body still buzzing with the aftermath of their encounter.

As he lay in bed that night, the memory of Randy’s words—Your ass is mine now—echoed in his mind, a filthy mantra that sent a shiver down his spine. Darren closed his eyes, his hand drifting down to his cock, his body aching with a need he couldn’t deny.

He stroked himself slowly, his mind’s eye replaying the events of the night, the feel of Randy’s cock inside him, the taste of him on his tongue. Darren moaned, his hips bucking into his hand as he imagined Randy’s cum spilling into him, filling him, marking him as his own.

"Fuck," Darren whispered, his voice hoarse with desire. "My ass is yours, Randy. I’m yours."

His orgasm hit him like a wave, his cum spilling onto his stomach as he cried out, Randy’s name on his lips. As he lay there, breathless, he wondered again if he was doing the wrong thing.

But for now, Darren pushed it aside, his body sated, his mind clouded with the aftermath of pleasure. He closed his eyes, Randy’s promise of next timeechoing in his dreams, a promise both terrifying and irresistible.