NordicBtm Posted Saturday at 10:26 PM Report Posted Saturday at 10:26 PM 8 hours ago, cumdumpPHX said: Naa.. I meant it’s hard to find tops in general these days. There’s just so many bottoms online… at least where I live. Yes there are more bottoms where I live also. But I also find it to be true that many bottoms are not ready when they should be and they are not slutty enough. So when you’re the slutty reliable bottom and you’re offline enough to make you in demand when you’re online you’ll do fine 😉 2 Quote
BareBack35 Posted Sunday at 04:33 AM Report Posted Sunday at 04:33 AM Ew that’s even worse then GA well at least they have bottoms all the tops keep trying to fuck me & im like No!!! 1 Quote
NWUSHorny Posted Sunday at 09:24 AM Report Posted Sunday at 09:24 AM (edited) 4 hours ago, BareBack35 said: Ew that’s even worse then GA well at least they have bottoms all the tops keep trying to fuck me & im like No!!! At least there is term for it, "side" that most people understand that they can use on the hookup apps now. For many years they had to get very creative with the text on their profiles that they did not fuck. Even BBRT, which is behind the times on adding "side" as a "sexual" position has added an oral only indicator that they can, and a majority of guys in Portland have set on their BBRT profiles if they still have one. Edited Sunday at 09:25 AM by NWUSHorny 1 Quote
Opensesame Posted Sunday at 11:49 AM Report Posted Sunday at 11:49 AM On 2/12/2026 at 9:25 PM, Sfmike64 said: I think that's the trick. Be nice about it. Just say "we're not a good fit." You don't need to TELL the person why you're rejecting them. If you do that's kinda rude, TBH. I agree but a few have taken offense when I’ve gently said something similar. I’m not into fit/lean guys but it seems many think I’m crazy for not wanting them. 1 1 Quote
polyglutton Posted Sunday at 02:46 PM Report Posted Sunday at 02:46 PM On 2/12/2026 at 1:02 AM, blackholeson said: Guy told me he wanted experienced tops only...😅 I can relate, as I have gotten back into topping a lot in the last year after many years of only rarely topping. Some of my observations have been surprising. One discovery is that while I enjoy topping total bottoms as much as vers guys, I get turned off by bottoms that treat tops like machines. You know how sometimes it's said that the best tops are the ones who have bottomed before? I feel the same is true of the best bottoms: they should have some memory of what topping is like. I blame this lack of empathetic imagination in part on the creeping heteronormativity of biological essentialism on social media that creates an illusion of a top or bottom identity as immutable. Also the apps have been conflated on some level in guys' minds with service delivery apps (taxi, food, etc.); if you want to order a dick in that way, pay a sex worker! 1 3 Quote
blackrobe Posted Sunday at 05:30 PM Report Posted Sunday at 05:30 PM 7 hours ago, NWUSHorny said: At least there is term for it, "side" that most people understand that they can use on the hookup apps now. For many years they had to get very creative with the text on their profiles that they did not fuck. Even BBRT, which is behind the times on adding "side" as a "sexual" position has added an oral only indicator that they can, and a majority of guys in Portland have set on their BBRT profiles if they still have one. TL;DR: If you fuck, don't put side in your profiles. Yes, and the vast majority of men are misusing the term side because they have also selected either top or bottom. Sides don't have penetrative sex. At all. It's the reason the definition was created. If you fuck at all, you're not a side. If you are a side, you never fuck. Even if a guy has top as well as side in his profile, I've learned from experience not to reach out. If they reach out to me with fucking on their mind I'll be up front that fucking is the main event. 1 Quote
blackrobe Posted Sunday at 06:05 PM Report Posted Sunday at 06:05 PM 2 hours ago, polyglutton said: I can relate, as I have gotten back into topping a lot in the last year after many years of only rarely topping. Some of my observations have been surprising. One discovery is that while I enjoy topping total bottoms as much as vers guys, I get turned off by bottoms that treat tops like machines. You know how sometimes it's said that the best tops are the ones who have bottomed before? I feel the same is true of the best bottoms: they should have some memory of what topping is like. I blame this lack of empathetic imagination in part on the creeping heteronormativity of biological essentialism on social media that creates an illusion of a top or bottom identity as immutable. Also the apps have been conflated on some level in guys' minds with service delivery apps (taxi, food, etc.); if you want to order a dick in that way, pay a sex worker! This phenomena is real. I have more than a few ostensibly bottom guys who love to fuck me and I'm pretty sure I get what's happening. These guys feel a lot of pressure around topping and expectation and have been defaulting to bottoming to avoid it. When I meet a guy like this and there's a connection, we make out and talk and I lower the stakes so that anything we do is just fun. Meeting sexy guys where they are and supporting them allows them to let go and just let their lust flow. When they can't get hard or can't penetrate, I smile and roll into sucking them so filthy that they realize it's no big deal. More than one of these men has become a regular and they enjoy how they feel like a different man when we connect and fuck. Being empathetic is what every sex partner deserves. The same kind of grace is deserved by every man who tops. Desire and arousal is complicated and multifaceted. I pay attention to men's faces and bodies to learn how they feel and find out how I can help them relax and enjoy the moment we're taking. I have a strong drive to turn men on hard and listen to what they say they like as well as what they react and show they like. I've found making a man your sole focus goes a long way to helping them relax and enjoy their lust. Yes, I'm a bottom who loves getting fucked and bred, but my empathy has helped me connect with (a very few) bottom guys and fucked and bred them. One sexy slutty asian bottom with the softest, wettest hole was getting ignored and looking at him I could feel where he was. He was so in need of dick that I started working his nipples and stroking and eating his hole. Eventually I put him in a sling, ate him, and slowly fucked him while other men gathered to watch. When I bred him I pulled on his nipples and told him he was a good boy for everyone to hear. The look on his face told me how much he appreciated my load. There's not much that's worse than a bottom leaving a bathhouse without having been bred. I enjoyed watching a few men using my load as lube to fuck him afterwards. We're not machines. We're not single purpose. Pay attention and that's how you find the amazing moments. 2 2 Quote
Iker80 Posted 23 hours ago Report Posted 23 hours ago On 2/15/2026 at 2:46 PM, polyglutton said: I can relate, as I have gotten back into topping a lot in the last year after many years of only rarely topping. Some of my observations have been surprising. One discovery is that while I enjoy topping total bottoms as much as vers guys, I get turned off by bottoms that treat tops like machines. You know how sometimes it's said that the best tops are the ones who have bottomed before? I feel the same is true of the best bottoms: they should have some memory of what topping is like. I blame this lack of empathetic imagination in part on the creeping heteronormativity of biological essentialism on social media that creates an illusion of a top or bottom identity as immutable. Also the apps have been conflated on some level in guys' minds with service delivery apps (taxi, food, etc.); if you want to order a dick in that way, pay a sex worker! For sure, a top needs to be in the right headspace. Some guys I end up rolling around nuts deep in them for a hour or more, but with a few guys I've not stayed hard very long. I think all guys have things that hit them wrong, for me it's getting my dick grabbed roughly, being rushed, stuff like that. Sure, sometimes I'm instantly ready to go, but read the situation with a guy, if he's happy and you're having fun but he's not gone fully hard yet just relax and let it happen when it happens. 2 Quote
Iker80 Posted 6 hours ago Report Posted 6 hours ago On 2/15/2026 at 11:49 AM, Opensesame said: I agree but a few have taken offense when I’ve gently said something similar. I’m not into fit/lean guys but it seems many think I’m crazy for not wanting them. Some guys are not happy when I say no and try to talk me around. But we can't like all type of guy. Sometimes guys just show up with all the unmatched things that don't make me horny. And they're like "but I'm hot!" and that's not how it works. Nobody is just hot, but everybody is hot to someone. Quote
NWUSHorny Posted 2 hours ago Report Posted 2 hours ago 3 hours ago, Iker80 said: Some guys are not happy when I say no and try to talk me around. But we can't like all type of guy. Sometimes guys just show up with all the unmatched things that don't make me horny. And they're like "but I'm hot!" and that's not how it works. Nobody is just hot, but everybody is hot to someone. I get approached and have to say no to guys that are into activities that do nothing for me, that I've hooked up and tried to have sex with in the past, fairly regularly. I'm open enough to ask "are we going to fuck this time?" before I say NO, but if the answer to my question is no I'm not interested in just a BJ or cuddling for hours, again. Quote
Recommended Posts