Fetishes and how we get them???

[rawsatyr]

    I have a whole list of them, 'fetishes' that I consider my 'trigger fetishes', things that SET ME OFF sexually, make me drool (or precum or feel arousal) The effect, although sexual, is much like the response of a well-conditioned PAVLOVIAN dog! Among the first FETISHES I recall were 'exotic guys' with great tans and guys with shaggy, pretty hair. Possibly because my dad used to rail against 'those damn hippies' or saying something like 'faggot women'! The allure of rebel pirates, rock-n-rollers and the FORBIDDEN! And that was in the days when I was still 'straight', chasing and falling 'in love' with girls like a teen-aged fool. But I already noticed older guys sporting BULGES (especially in denims) and the ripple of their KNOBS showing against denims... 'ARE THEY GOING COMMANDO?' I wanted to ask and to feel, but IMPOSSIBLE! Inappropriate! And with that mystery it triggered a new, confusing LUST!!!!

    Scouring the internet in my fully gay phase, exploring  'the dark side' I went into SEXUAL OVERDRIVE (for a new fetish) when I saw cocky, shaggy-haired young guys proudly posing in or on Jeeps, on the beach, dressed in flip-flops and shorts, being introduced as NEW MEMBERS in a previously unheard-of BAREBACK GROUP (on yahoo I think it was). Before that 'bareback' was an occasional, guilt-ridden departure from 'being safe', still a major taboo (for me). That was maybe 15 years ago when that 'openly, unrestricted bareback, risk-taking lifestyle' was still alien to me.

    At about the same time I discovered the picture of an Atlanta bad-boy on-line, proudly posing with a hard-on and a Prince Albert in an open Jeep. He was the one who had just months ago snatched away my pretty, much younger BF at the time, and introduced him to a NEW LIFESTYLE in the 'scene' in Atlanta. I had learned that the dude was already in a 'poly-amorous' relationship with two other guys and apparently my boy was their NEW RECRUIT! They were all under 30, flight attendants, bar-tenders, models/hustlers, ALL POZ, all promiscuous and all-out BAREBACKERS!!!

    Fast forward to now and all those 'things' are now 'trigger fetishes' to me: bad boy sluts, promiscuity, bareback talk and action, Jeeps, flip-flops on sexy guys, Prince Albert piercings, guys who are POZ... recently I added 'elongated fuck-holes' (man-cunts), leathery, well-used, modified, cut cocks to the list as well as sexy guys pissing... like dogs! With no care in the world! Making me drool like a horny Pavlovian dawg! 

[RandyCubby]

Like an imprintable duckling, I saw porn in which straight women and gay men were insatiably promiscuous. Old pre-condom porn like Al Parker's Turned On gave me a fetish for anonymous bathhouse sex with an audience, and for cum in male beards. 

[blackrobe]

14 hours ago, Futile2Resist said:

I will attempt to use my double major in psychology here. I think some fetishes get started in our early years. When we where young ( 10 - 14 )  they also happen by accident  too, at this age. We are sneaking sexual experiences; we might keep certain items of clothing on, so we can dress up in a hurry, in case the parents come home, so we don't get caught. This could include shoes, socks, underwear, t-tops, etc. Maybe you saw items in your parents closet, ( where you could have been hiding together) These experiences stay in your psyche, pop up again when you reach adulthood and adult sexuality.  

I think it's also worth noting that early sexual experiences, especially traumatic ones, can implant fetishes and kinks in us that flower and evolve later. After my rape at 12 by an adult acting in loco parentis, I was shut down sexually for a long, long time. In the process of recovery I had to look at and use the fetishes that sprang up in me to go the last mile. For me, it was taking the experience of being raped bloody with no control over what happened to me, and making being in the control of a stronger man work for me. Enter submissive and control fetishes of various types that I've used to move though the fear and terror he fucked into my ass and body and instead used as a path to a new sexual opening and rebirth. This is quite distinct from re-enacting the rape because it's my choice, it's my pleasure, and my rape isn't something I ever think about during or even after a man has been up to his nuts in my cunt.

I've always liked older men, but it's settled to men who look very sexually mature (strong secondary sexual characteristics - beards, hair, strong, muscular, solid) and men who have a controlling to dominant sexual nature. I enjoy being manhandled, orgasm control and denial, bare breeding, impregnation/MPREG, being restrained/held down as I'm fucked, Dad/son role play (obviously), and the more authentically verbal he is, the better I like it. It doesn't have to be much. When I'm feeling overstimulated by his 9"+ dick in my cunt in the missionary position, my favorite dom top just says "Shhhh, take dick" a few times until I relax and feel him popping up into my sigmoid where he prefers to deep fuck his seed.

I've only been getting fucked since March of 2019 and I'm still evolving. Fetishes made it possible.

[Guest]

I don't really fixate on one particular fetish, yet I have these experiences that really turn me on; like being spanked while getting fucked, wearing some athletic gear, turns me on, while getting fucked, it also draws a lot of attention at the baths. 

I am not sure, yet due to older age, and a more enlarged prostate, I am having more prostate orgasms, and peeing while getting fucked, a real turn on. 

[Guest]

I wanna add that some kinks are also just there. The main neurological hypothesis around foot fetishes is that the sensory areas that control feet are right aside the ones that control genitals, so there could be some kind of cross wiring that makes your brain parse feet as part of the genitals, and boom - you have a foot fetish.

As for myself I do think most of my kinks are just there. I know my D/s fetish comes from bullying trauma, and my mansmells kink comes from being bullied about the way I smelled as a kid, but I can’t think of any reason for any of my other kinks than “idk they’ve always been there”. I always had a huge fixation to feet, I would always rub my nipples when I was bored, one time when I was 14 I dared myself to taste my own piss and enjoyed it a lot… I was just born depraved, I guess 🤣 and I love it

[hungry_hole]

On 11/25/2011 at 2:29 PM, Dirtysouth said:

I've started really wondering where I get my fetishes from.

I read somewhere that fetishes exist mostly with parts of the body that are not easily accessible in our own body, like sucking your own cock. Because we can't suck our own cock we develop the cocksucking fetish.

Another big fetish is with cum. Most guys think that gay men are the only men who have a fetish for cum but straight porn also has a lot of hard cocks and cum. Cum is a fetish because whenever we see our cum we are no longer horny so in order to fully enjoy cum it has to be jizz from another guy.

[NWUSHorny]

6 hours ago, hungry_hole said:

I read somewhere that fetishes exist mostly with parts of the body that are not easily accessible in our own body, like sucking your own cock. Because we can't suck our own cock we develop the cocksucking fetish.

Another big fetish is with cum. Most guys think that gay men are the only men who have a fetish for cum but straight porn also has a lot of hard cocks and cum. Cum is a fetish because whenever we see our cum we are no longer horny so in order to fully enjoy cum it has to be jizz from another guy.

That is interesting, I don't generally think of myself as being into fetishes, especially the kind I see around here that involve dressing up and role playing but not fucking. Your comment could put my "fetishes" in perspective. I'm not really into sucking or getting sucked, I could and did occasionally suck my own cock from my mid teens until my mid 30's. I absolutely love to fuck and get fucked, and have never succeeded in fucking my self, if my cock is flexible enough to get to my hole it is too soft to go in. Now I'm wondering if I had regularly fucked and bred my own ass if I would feel the same way about fucking as I do about sucking? I am into cum but I'm usually still horny after I cum, and can still cum 3 or 4 times a day so I'm not sure that one relates to me.

[tallslenderguy]

Looking up the definition of "fetish" gets a few results, this is from the Oxford dictionary:

fet·ish

/ˈfediSH/

Learn to pronounce

noun

1. a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to a particular object, item of clothing, part of the body, etc.

"Victorian men developed fetishes focusing on feet, shoes, and boots"

2. an inanimate object worshiped for its supposed magical powers or because it is considered to be inhabited by a spirit.

i  make a distinction between "fetish" and "kink."  i have lots of kinks. my kinks are an integral part of my desires/needs, and a lot of them would not fall into the "normative" category, so i guess they could be considered "abnormal," but my gratification is not "linked to" any of them "...to an abnormal degree"?  I.e., i do not 'need' them to experience gratification, but they definitely enrich my life. 

Where my kinks are important and have power is when they are mutual with a corresponding opposite person (i.e., with a Top in my case).  I think that may be where the primary distinction is between a fetish and kink? At least it is for me.  To me, it seems a fetish can exist independently from another person, it's more of an object, whereas my kinks are dependent.

E.g., i have a WS kink, but it is dependent on a Top who has a similar and equal desire/need. For me, they serve as means or conduits of connection and bonding... and their inclusion is usually a deeper experience for me, maybe because they are not normative? Their rarity makes them more precious? 

Toys are another example for me. i have a drawer full of them, but they rarely get used for lack of a Top to use them with me. To me, if i had fetishized them, they'd have an energy from me where i could use them on myself for gratification. But that is not the case. They are useless in my hands. On the 'other hand,' or in a Tops hands, they can be imbued with His energy, desire and need and become an extension of Him. 

my kinks do have an aura of mystery to them, as far as where they come from or how i get/got them?  For me though, the major component is connection with an opposite (i.e."Top") Man's desire/need.  

The mystery part is the need/desire (i.e., kink) has to be mutual.  Drinking piss from the tap would be an example of a developed kink for me, but not one i had innately?  I.e., i have no innate desire to drink or teste piss. However, drinking piss from a Mans cock is hugely enticing to me, to the point i am learning the skill and overcoming my distaste of piss and fear of being overwhelmed by quantity. I don't completely understand my kink with this. i know it's associated with marking, insemination, impregnation, degradation/humilation (of an affectionate nature, not mean or bullying), and any or all of those have to be present needs/desires in the Top for it to work.

But you can take those same desires/needs in a Top, expressed through Sadism, and i don't connect. Even though i have the same desires/needs for "marking, penetration, insemination, impregnation, humilation/degradation, etc.,"  they don't present with every kink. For instance, CBT will shut me down, no matter how much the Top needs/desires it.

Some kinks can use those needs as a gateway, others cannot, and that's the mysterious part for me.