bearbandit
-
Posts
1,533 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
1
Content Type
Profiles
Forums
Blogs
Events
Gallery
Everything posted by bearbandit
-
NSFW = "Not safe for work" I don't have the URL's to hand but one of Mark S King's most controversial columns was entitled "Your Mother Liked it Bareback", and in a column supporting PrEP he used a series of quotes which the reader was supposed to think were recent, but actually came from the hearings into whether the contraceptive pill was should be licensed. Do a search for "my fabulous disease" which is his blog and you should find him. He's not into spreading a prescriptive or proscriptive message, just commenting on what's going on. And he makes perfect sense. PrEP works: use it, ditto TasP. Blame and STI transmission are two separate unrelated things. Look at this way: I'm probably considered to be the most controversial writer for the magazine I write for ( www.beyondpositive.org ) and he leaves me streets behind (possibly because I have osteopenia and live half way up a mountain ) When he re-tweeted one of my rants it was better than than the editor using nsfw in the url of one of my articles...
-
My article "A Return to the Old Normal" http://www.beyondpositive.org/2013/11/27/steve-return-old-normal-nsfw/ is perhaps a contribution to the debate. (I always know I'm on the right track when the editor adds "nsfw" to my columns).
-
HIV and Staying Healthy
bearbandit replied to VersatileBreeder's topic in HIV/AIDS & Sexual Health Issues
When you achieve a zero viral load, it doesn't mean that you've eradicated the virus: it simply means that the lab was unable to find any viral particles in the sample they were sent. My last two VLs were actually 0, but HIV is still lurking in my body. It's especially fond of the lining of the gut which is why, before drugs, wasting syndrome was such a problem, because the cells of the gut couldn't get to the food. Now the problem is the reverse: many of the drugs affect blood lipids, leading to high cholesterol, high blood pressure and even diabetes 2, even if there's no history of it in your family. These three are the prime cause of heart attacks. Smoking's good for causing high cholesterol and high blood pressure too. An old, old story was related to me by a friend (not on here) today: that smoking increases your CD4 count. The CD4 count varies from hour to hour even, but it is true that if you have a cigarette before entering the clinic and your blood is taken reasonably quickly, you will show a higher CD4 count than you would have done otherwise. At the cost of damaging your lungs. I'm told I have the 70% of the normal lung capacity of of my weight and build: years of smoking and too many cigars (the cigars especially bad as I couldn't help but inhale)... -
HIV and Staying Healthy
bearbandit replied to VersatileBreeder's topic in HIV/AIDS & Sexual Health Issues
I remember saying to neighbour who expressed surprise at me smoking "I've got aids - I should worry about lung cancer?" But the truth is that after I finally quit smoking I found that I felt better (I also found I had a lung capacity 70% average for a man of my age. When I found I had diabetes (a gift from an early HIV drug) I made the appropriate adaptations to me diet and felt better. Since I was sick a couple of years ago I lost my appetite and was living on food supplements without, unusually for me, reading the contents. they were 25% sugar, which explained my massive blood glucose levels. I still have my "feel like shit days", but they're getting fewer and fewer. I think the answer to your question is "to feel better": mood affects VLs and CD4 levels, so not only do we end up feeling better, we also extend the chance of living a more normal life, and for some of us staying alive long enough for "the cure". I admit I'm a poor example in this respect as I've had two bad, probably irreversible drug reactions, but when I can eat normally (no-one is allowed to smoke in my house) I simply feel better... -
Pre-sex hiv status discussion
bearbandit replied to 1slut's topic in Making The Decision To Bareback
I always say I'm poz in the text bit of a profile. Maybe lose out on some trade that way (and fuck knows Wales has a small enough population), but it's easier to check he read the whole profile rather than having "that" conversation, which even after all these years, I can't get used to, maybe because in the eighties you got so many negative reactions. Might be different if I lived in (or near) a city where there was an established poz scene, but Wales, no, we don't talk about that here, bach. -
While you might be able to get the HIV antibody test at Walgreens, can you get the kidney and liver workups that are essential there? There's a certain amount of dispute over how HIV+ and HIV- men process truvada, especially the tenofovir component. My consultant missed checking for these and rare as they are, I've now got osteopenia (thinning bones) and nearly died from the lack of essential minerals and vitamins because instead of recycling them my kidneys now piss them away: I have to descale my PA every two weeks, that's how much calcium I piss away (First time I descaled my PA was about 10 years after it was done). If you're on PrEP, especially as it's a "proof of concept" treatment, you need those liver and kidney workups: because of my consultant's negligence I came within days of dying, not from HIV, but from the effect of HIV antiretrovirals. I missed the arrhythmic heart beat, but the hallucinations (which I can still see as memories, even though we're talking nearly two years ago) were horrific.
-
How Old Were You When You Took Your First Load?
bearbandit replied to rawTOP's topic in General Discussion
Quite agree: in the UK at the time the age of consent was 21 for gay men. I was 19. Moreover, had I gone to the police (it was a case of unwanted sex I would have been done for indecency as well. Fortunately, the law's been cleared up now but I spent a very uncomfortable 20 years between the attack and the change in the law... Not long before the law was changed, my partner and I ran a message board and had been known to ban members for going too far for the safety of other members. -
I got my (very conventional) biohazard last autumn, my thinking being it's a symbol most guys know. It's on my buffalo hump, so getting the work done was a piece of piss. It extends just far enough a collar that it's obvious what it is, however, in warm weather, when my tendency is to wear a singlet rather than shirt or t-shirt, it should be completely visible. I intend having one near my dick as well, but that'll be a double one: as I intend having a pentagram done at the same time (I don't like having my pubes shaved - red hair is especially coarse). It's not only about attracting the right guy, it's also saying "Yeah? I'm poz, so fucking what". A couple of weeks after I had the present one done I was at an HIV conference. You know what it's like: get a new tat and everyone wants a look. Interestingly, it was the woman at the conference who were more interested than the men - or else the men were shyer...
-
And likewise Jizz - just wish there wasn't this fucking ocean in the way otherwise I'd be on he first flight over! You have a nasty mind and I'd love the chance to experience your twisted imagination - you know most of mine from reading Pozdaddy...
-
Off topic: Well by my reckoning this is my 1000th post, advancing to me to the grade of "whore", a title I wear proudly, equally proud to join the ranks of men who got there first. Just wish a few more of you were over here to help me celebrate! Wonder where I left the t-shirt printer paper? ;-) Thank you, guys, for putting up with me for so long!
-
<applause> but imodium's actual mode of action (in the UK version, at least) is to absorb fluid from the gut, thus drying out your turds. Don't bother if, like me, you use codeine phosphate to control neuropathy pain as it won't do any more then the codeine does.
-
Relax Jizz - this was all in fun! I'd already taught her that if my living room curtains were closed I was most likely entertaining a gentleman... Hell my eighty year old next door neighbour wondered aloud why I didn't put a red light in the porch. All friendly piss-taking...
-
I guess I'm too close in with this thread as the guy who was vilified by caughtlads is not only a personal friend but also the editor of the Ezine (www.beyondpositive.org) I write for and the sample from this board they tweeted included an entire message from me complete with avatar - but then everyone locally knows what this stately old homo looks like!. But as I said earlier they haven't shown any action since the first week of February (as I understand them, they could get done under existing hate-crime legislation. Basically we're looking to their next move: despite their infringement of hate crime legislation, we're trying to keep it quiet for those guys who don't want their HIV status splattered over the Sunday tabloids.
-
When I bottom (which seems to be happening more these days, but it's alll sex....), all that matters is that it's his load...
-
Without wishing to go all romantic and roses around the front door, barebacking forms an indossulable bond between two guys: look through the fiction section and it's actually true: infected CD4 cells hang around for we don't yet know how many years. We're animals: (my only real experience is with large dogs). A dog pisses on you and he (or she - my B'Elana was one hell of of a sprayer) is saying "you're mine". You turn up at my place and one of us cums up inside the other: Those infected CD4 cells are going to stay there for fifty or sixty years and will have to take their chances along with the home-grown ones when it comes to antivirals. It doesn't matter to me how many other guys you go with: you have part of me in you, and equally I carry around pieces of guys who've blown in me. Just before aids really hit London we had a joking family tree system going, based on who'd done it with with whom. Seems we weren't so wrong after all. Every guy I've really cared about has cum inside me: few of them are alive now, but I'm proud to carry their DNA within me, even though I know that ultimately it's useless since the purpose of DNA is to breed more people.
-
Frankly, given what you've said about your relationship before, I'd learn from my mistakes. Fine as a dinner date, but as much fun as it might be sex between the two of you always seems to lead to trouble. When you're having the after dinner coffee or liqueur, cross your legs. As good as sex between you is, it always seems to lead to trouble. Sometimes sex just adds to or emphasises the problems in a relationship. I've had a number of friends when we've just had to say "no, we know each other too well"; doesn't stop me lusting after them, but I'd rather have a good friend than a shag.
-
Been there, done that, and please can we do it again tomorrow night? Don't care whether I'm top or bottom in such a situation, just love being in the situation of a bunch of guys each working on getting each other off while working to get off themselves....
-
Many guys with HIV (me included) find "clean" pretty offensive. Along the lines of the N-word. Should that person be thrown I jail? I would argue he should be shot in the head. I think you should go and research HIV, given that you want to play bareback. With that one sentence you make me regret having bothered to answer your questions. My personal opinion (given that there is strong gun control in the UK) is that you owe everyone here one hell of an apology for your remarks.
-
They've been at that address since the beginning of last month, but there's been no activity on either the website or the twitter account (and my gods were they churning it out on twitter!) I have a little more information (knowing someone in the area where they're centred) on the possible writer of the site which suggests sociopathic tendencies on the part of the site author. There was a late additiion to the site in the form of a link to the PROUD study (PrEP testing - I really don't see why we need to repeat what you guys in the USA have proven) - which I see as a late bid for respectability. They've been at that address since early February, but nothing has changed on the page since then. My concern is for the last four guys on the page. And I completely agree with your assessment of the mentality if the guy who started this: I know that THT (principal charity here) has had some dealing with them (basically along the lines of "get the fuckin page down now - this is not how to run a safer sex campaign") but I don't know any of the details. But then I'm a thorn in THT's side with my stress on PrEP, TasP, and the fact that condoms aren't necessary...
-
I think we can afford to relax a bit: the tabloids haven't got wind of the site and there's been no activity even on their twitter account - they took a screenshot from this site comprising someone else (I can't remember who) and my followup message complete with avatar. Like I'm going to worry: I appeared on TV in the late eighties on a medical show as "the one what's got it" I've done enough TV work as the poz guy not to be worried (though last time I did a piece for Wales Today I had a neighbour phone me demanding to know why I'd let them film in my living room without letting her tidy it up a bit) A friend who lives in the Newcastle area has confirmed that he knows several of the guys targetted. For myself I changed my Grindr profile to something like "If you can't cope with my HIV we won't get on" which has greatly reduced the number of "Hey Daddy, poz me up" messages. The site actualy changed servers three times (I think) in one evening when the shit hit the fan, then they tried to "legitimise" the project by adding a link to the PROUD study. I've been watching the page and seen that it hasn't changed in the past several weeks. My concern is for the four guys still shown on the site: I'm quite happy to talk with you guys about my sexual habits, wants and needs, but I don't thing I'd want them on a static web page. The writer of the site appears to have bought into the idea that all poz guys are desperate to spread it as though it was a biological imperative. I suspect it's someone recently diagnosed working through their anger, while forgetting their own complicity in their own infection. There are a group of us in the UK informally monitoring the situation. I just wish we could get rid of that last from page...
-
No: she had a personality disorder. One look at me and she decided I wasn't the perfect baby she'd wanted and handed me over to my grandmother for care. My younger brother could do no wrong in her eyes - though she never knew about hours he spent on his knees at the local toilets!
-
Apparently that was how I was conceived, except it was my mother who wrecked the condoms...
-
I'd put money on the dreams being "of natural origin" - your subconscious processing the fact that you've taken the very sensible decision of starting PrEP. Yes, there is a rare uninvestigated (apart from HIV activists) effect from the FTC component which can cause over-vivid dreams, but this doesn't generally kick in until you've been on the drug for a while longer than a few days. The dreams can be avoided by taking the pill in the morning - I've got FTC as part of my combination and once I realised that FTC was the cause of my nightmares, I started taking it in the morning. Puff of smoke - the dreams went...
-
Despite an ocean between us, I can't get over how much we have in common with our experiences of HIV. Maybe it's come from our being diagnosed so early in the epidemic, or just the fact that we've each experienced other's fear of us as HIV+ guys. For me the defining moment was in the Block in London in maybe 1994: there was this American rubber guy there and after the initial grope and search for each other's tonsils we paused for breath. As soon as I said I was HIV+ he walked off. At that moment I promised myself it was never happening again. All my online profiles say I'm poz, but the level of fear and ignorance about HIV, especially in Wales, mean I don't get a lot of hits...
-
To What Degree Does "On Meds" = "Undetectable"?
bearbandit replied to rawTOP's topic in HIV Risk & Risk Reduction
I concede: PrEP is still in trial in the UK which why I discounted it. The chances of meeting up with a guy on PrEP outside of the major population centres (all in England - our nationality within the UK is defined by healthcare) is pretty minimal. The current trial only has 500 places (which are all but gone): why our various NHS's can't just accept the findings from the USA is beyond me.
