I'll explain my story here.
I came out in the early 2000s and spent most of the decade using condoms religiously. I got fucked many times with condoms and it was never a pleasurable experience. It felt like a piece of plastic rubbing my ass. It wasn't until 2009 when someone randomly fucked me raw in a bathhouse and somehow I let it happen. The feeling was so many orders of magnitude better than using rubbers that I had to try again. The next year I barebacked with a few more guys and I just couldn't get enough of it.
At the same time I had/have ZERO interest in seroconverting. I know a lot of HIV+ people and they are doing great, but if there is an option for me and for anyone else you just don't want to seroconvert. It is tough. Not wanting HIV is diametrically opposed to any sort of barebacking so I didn't know what to do. I started serosorting heavily for the next few years and stayed neg. I would also ask most partners not to dump their load in me. Contrary from most of the people here I don't get much of a thrill from it so it's pointless to take the risk in exchange for nothing.
Then PrEP came along. Was on it right after approval. No side effects, and still neg after a few years. I haven't used condoms for a long time now, but I go out of the way to use every other safer sex practice there is, like serosorting, pull outs, PrEP i only let a selected group of people come inside. I got chlamydia in the butt and the mouth last year but that's about it. HIV neg so far.
Barebacking feels so much better for me that I'm at a point where I'll forgo sex with condoms because it feels sort of pointless. Barebacking comes with huge baggage and risk so at the end for me it's tradeoff of living life. Do you have a sex life that is not that fulfilling but you don't get any diseases, or you let it go have a great time and risk getting stuff. It's a difficult question and I haven't really answered yet.