AirmaxUK

6 minutes ago, WelshBBCigarFuck said:

I think you could consider it Karma. I’ve found a lot of the guys who were fit and attractive (and who knew it) who wouldn’t give me the time of day in the past (some actually went out of the way to message how unattractive they found me and how I shouldn’t be online looking), these same guys now have actually messaged me looking to meet.

Whilst they may still be physically in shape and still be attractive, they have matured and now aren’t able to have the pick of the crop that they were used to. For me however, I have a long memory, so when they do message me they get told exactly where they can go shove themselves (and not near me).

For my self esteem I wouldn’t touch them with a barge pole, if I wasn’t good enough for them in the past, why degrade myself for being good enough for them now, just because they can’t get the ones they are really lusting over.

Sorry if that turned into a bit of a rant, it’s just something which has pissed me off with a lot of gay/bi/curious guys over the years.

Turn the clock back 10-12 years and I was 40-50kg heavier than now. Some of the cruelty I experienced in the gay community was frankly unbelievable. I lost a bunch of weight and with it gained a little confidence. When I was out and about, what was interesting was the same people who had been cruel before now had an expectation that I would play with them. I too have a long memory and sent them packing, even if it meant missing out. Unless you've been through receiving it, it is hard to know, the amount of damage a cruel comment can make. Although I'm not looking for revenge, there has to be some restitution for past bad behaviour.     

5 hours ago, WelshBBCigarFuck said:

The greenhouse hasn’t reopened yet (not allowed to) and if you look at their website, they are the sauna which now has mixed days with men and women attending. I can see mixed days being potentially awkward as if you have a straight couple who are swingers and also gay men there, there could be unwelcome attention by the straight woman to the gay men or the gay men to the straight men. Don’t think it’s that well thought out.

Yeah - they tried this at the Luton Greenhouse too - once a week for mixed. Fortunately it was a weekday so Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays were still men only. With dwindling numbers because of the internet apps I guess they have to find alternate revenue streams to survive.  

22 hours ago, WelshBBCigarFuck said:

If I wanted to attend something like that it would involve about 4 to 5 hours travel by car or train, my current city has a single gay bar, our capital city basically forced it’s only gay sauna out by gentrifying the area and the only other gay sauna here in South Wales has taken to having mixed nights for gay, straight and bi (including male and female couples) a couple of nights a week (including Saturday which was its busiest night). None of the gay bars or clubs left here in South Wales are permitted to have “adult interactions” or they risk being fined and closed down (even before COVID).

Is the greenhouse sauna in Newport within reach and any good?

Not so much for choosing a partner, but when clubs were open it was fun to go with a friend as a wingman - you can kinda let go a bit more knowing someone is keeping an eye out, and we also developed techniques to catch guys we wouldn't normally get on our own.  We find it pays to put on a bit of a display or show to get the ball rolling and kickstart some action. So being versatile and helping each other out is useful. I wouldn't wingman with someone I don't know well - sometimes a greedy bottom takes over and steals all the action!  

As far as tips go, I had a playmate who couldn't piss when hard, but he reckoned he solved the problem by having a PA which kinda anchored him inside so he found it easier to stay inside when soft.  I'm a little skeptical, but I can't complain - he filled me up numerous times at SOP, and it worked. 

On 6/26/2018 at 8:36 AM, ErosWired said:

The CumUnion I attend is in Indianapolis. It’s always been well-attended and I have personally always had a blast, but there have been a few points that I’ve heard grumbled about or that I’ve noticed.

Music: Definitely important for getting a vibe going. Yet one time I had a distinct what-the-bellbottomed-fuck moment when I had to endure The Captain and Tenniel singing “Muskrat Love” while I was trying to get poppered up.

Another patron discovered the DJ station set up just outside the door to his room - not a good choice that time.

Activities: I don’t think it would be a bad idea to have a party host or two on duty simply to mingle about and make sure everyone is actively enjoying the party. If I recall there were a couple of “contests” of some sort, but, I mean, anybody up for a game of naked Twister? Having somebody to finagle two bottoms into the same room as a handful of Tops could work wonders.

Some activities may be less conducive to what most are there for - take the drawings, for example. If the music is interrupted every so often with the news that ticket no. so-and-such just won the Xtra-large jar of Boy Butter, I probably am not going to ask the Top to stop fucking me long enough to check my ticket.

Amenities: If you’re going to offer limited facilities like slings or fuck benches, it’s especially important for staff to monitor those amenities during the party to ensure that the sling lizards and bench slugs don’t spoil the party for everyone else.

Be sure to check restrooms frequently. Some guys haven’t yet mastered the art of cleaning out. I will say no more.

Safety: I come from a public service background, so I tend to notice hazards. There are some things I think any CumUnion venue could and probably should do to head off problems. For instance:

• Post a visible notice warning men that using poppers and viagra together can be deadly.

• Ensure that steam room temperatures do not exceed safe limits; that steam rooms always have adequate lighting; and that egress from the back of the steam room is never blocked. I have observed failures of all these conditions at various steam rooms, and it is a miracle no one has been seriously harmed.

• Ensure that the sling and/or other public equipment has been safety-checked and serviced before the party starts. I make it my business to do this at my CumUnion, because that’s what a well-trained bondage sub does, but you can’t count on that everywhere.

• Be alert for lube-slicked floors. I don’t know what it is about Tops and silicone-based lube, but I’ve had to stop leaving it out for them because one of them, without fail, will spill enough of it to turn the floor of my room into a skating-rink-deathtrap. At least have cleaning supplies ready to hand that will clean up the range of lubes.

Darkroom: Figure out a way to convert at least one room into a communal darkroom space. We can do without all that video porn for three hours if necessary.

 

I may think of more, but that’s what I’ve got to be getting on with...

I agree on a proper darkroom with no video screens. 

Would also ban phones - for three reasons - it's one of the top items people lose in a venue like this (even if you ban them) - some guys use the light to light up the darkroom to scope it out - and others will take photos/video without permission. 

The sling lizard problem - I wonder how long it will be before you have to buy a ticket to reserve a time slot on a sling? Actually that's not such a bad idea, is it?

What metrics are used to decide the points and hence the levels? 

18 minutes ago, DeviantLust said:

I check out the background in profile pics as much as the guys. If there's a lot of clutter around or weird stuff on the walls, I move on. Wish guys would pay more attention to their setting when shooting profile pics.

Absolutely... me too. I enjoy the little clues about a person from their background stuff in pics.  Sometimes recognising a setting in two different profiles so inferring the guys know each other.  I probably missed a calling in forensics!  

Tom Baker for sure.  

A couple of years back there was a Radio-4 comedy "Dead Ringers" who had an impersonator that did a good Tom Baker impersonation.  They had the impersonator prank call the real Tom Baker on-air and pretend to be him from the future. The real Tom Baker immediately fell into character and there was a very amusing exchange. 

He seems to be an all round good egg, and up for a laugh. I also vaguely remember Tom Baker appearing on another comedy TV show and they had him going around Ikea's bedroom/wardrobe department shopping for a new 'Tardis' asking the IKEA sales assistants questions about the molecular integrity of different wardrobes etc. 

Earlier this morning  (GMT) the whole site seems to have been offline ("500 - File not found").  Now it is back and it seems to be raining loads of notifications for me...

I've always imagined friendships like orbits -

• the core for your partner and immediate family 
• the inner circle for the people you trust implicitly and can rely on (and vice versa). 
• a middle orbit of people who for one reason or another haven't earned the right to be in the inner circle yet or are a little flaky.   
• outer orbits are people who are best described as acquaintances or the very flaky. 

I'd say a few work colleagues are in the middle circle. Most in the outer orbits. 

I noticed that during the covid lockdown it was really only my inner circle that reciprocated efforts to communicate and stay in touch. My middle and outer orbits are very thin on people post covid lockdown. 

As to the original question - what do you look for...? Earned trust. Putting you first when you need it. Being reliable. Being consistent. Being more of an asset than a burden. Reducing (not increasing) the amount of drama in my life.    

I will say that I have had the misfortune to know two sociopaths and the experience has made me very wary of others, which is a shame, but necessary. 

This morning I went to the dentist. When I got home, I had a MS-teams call with my boss and the rest of the team. When I said I had been to the dentist, my boss responded with: "Oh you poor thing, you face looks so swollen". I informed her that actually, I just had a checkup and no work done, so actually I always look like that... She was soooo embarrassed. I've been needling her about it ever since and it's just so funny how embarrassed she is. Me? I don't care. Wide-angle cameras on laptops (especially the Dell ones with the camera at the bottom of the screen) are notoriously unflattering. 

UK Specific: I notice that some saunas opened this week. Some are waiting until the June unlocking date. Just wondering what the difference is, since all should be covered by the same rules? 

I had a guy who used to leave Post-It notes with messages under my windscreen wiper. They'd be kinda creepy and refer to what I had been doing or wearing. When it was wet weather they'd be in plastic ziplock bags. He must've followed me around doing this because I could drive 40-50 miles somewhere and still find notes when I returned to the car. Work, Gym, Home, Friends, Parents, Shops - nowhere was safe. Some notes would be quite complimentary, others when I'd visited a male friend were a bit jealous. It made me hyper alert to who was around and in the end I figured what car he was using to follow me and looked out for it. The last note he left had his mobile number on it.  Not sure what to do, I spoke to some lesbian friends who'd lived in my town a while (I was new here then) and they said this guy was known locally for behaviour like this - but not to worry, they'd sort it out. I gave them the number and I never saw or heard from him again. Looking back I probably should have gone to the police, but back then (late 90's) the local police weren't exactly friendly or sympathetic to "the gays".  

7 hours ago, kiwiguyuk said:

There's a twink on Grindr that messages me every couple of weeks. Hides his face but his profile is full of "nobody message me unless you're over 9 Inches" comments and wording, have told him repeatedly I don't meet his criteria and i'm not interested,, yet every couple of weeks he sends and message or a tap. Even blocking the profile doesn't work as he creates new ones.

 

While I can certainly appreciate the lust for cock, I find it annoying when you get fussy size queens who are so rigid that they will only take a XL dick, but at the same time constantly message guys that don't meet their criteria.

Personally I think putting hard criteria like 'must be over 9 inches' or 'must be under 45' in a profile is counter productive as it puts guys off who might otherwise be an awesome shag.  I wonder if guys like your Grindr Twink write their profiles with what they want their ideal hookup to be like, but in the absence of perfection, they'll settle for something a little less?

The other thing is, particularly on fetish sites like Recon or NKP when people make a 'list' of things they're into it can work two ways - reading the list you might see one or two things you're not into and think it's not a match. That's a negative way of looking at these things... I look at the list and think, hey we match six out of ten things, so we can have plenty of fun.  But I think I'm in the minority here...? 

It reminds me of a personal development workshop on CVs sometime ago where we were advised to write what we want to do or can do, not what we are currently doing. If you're growing, you don't want a job doing the same thing as you're currently doing, you need a CV that stretches you but with out being fictional.  Is that what's going on with online profiles too?

Second Pfizer shot last Friday. Kinda achy the following day but fine today.  

I can see arguments both ways, but... whether BBRT allows the advertising or not, I am sure people are meeting anyway. I've seen guys using the regional hookup ad section advertising for multiple partners/groups regularly. It seems that turning off the party section isn't really stopping people.

Making mixtapes and swapping with friends.

Waiting for everyone in the house to go to bed and then getting up to secretly watch "Red Triangle" programming on Channel 4.

Enjoying playing music loud. 

Experimenting and Building stuff during the long summer holiday - Heathkit 

As @RawPlug says the mail order catalogs - mens' underwear pages. 

Rugby practice (for all the wrong reasons, like borrowing someone's sports kit when you'd "forgotten" yours)

I like stuff that's filmed with some background reality in the location - not obviously on a staged set. Little details and clues about the guys and their lives outside the moment that give the hint they might be real people. 

Very personal, but I like when the guys wear socks and sneakers with nothing else - although a jock on the bottom is hot to see. 

Cliched/Forced dialog is a turn off. Natural reactions more of a turn on.   

9 hours ago, ErosWired said:

This might actually force us to put down the damn screens and cruise each other in the flesh ... and that might not be such a bad thing. I

This could be the silver lining - I've always preferred cruising in the flesh. Too many guys use the apps/sites for a wank at the idea of meeting which makes the signal to noise ratio very low. 

16 hours ago, RawCumboy1723 said:

Start accepting crypto (despite the learning curve). 

This was my very first thought. VISA/Mastercard/Amex are too powerful and dominant to the point they can now dictate how we behave. We need an accessible, reliable means of online payment that people can use with confidence that has no central control. Crypto may be the answer, but isn't easily accessible yet for non-geeks. That needs to change to make it succeed. 

17 hours ago, rawTOP said:

 On this site and even more so on my new sites, you'll earn the right to do things. There will be a points system where you get more rights and perks the more you help the site – posting high quality content, reporting things to moderators, etc.

So, this is a currency in itself.  It is an interesting direction some things are going: things like the Helium network reward operators with HNT crypto currency - and you can trade it on Binance for BTC or USD.  

7 hours ago, RawPlug said:

The beauty of the Uber option is the possibility of the Uber driver himself. Wouldn’t be my first time...

Indeed - if he's top -  but the reality of fucking a butt that's been sitting in a Prius for 12 hours ain't pretty. If he douches first then maybe... 

There's a 4* Best Western "Palm" on the A41 Hendon Way, which I drive past on my way there from the North Circular Road which looks to be walking distance if you don't mind a fifteen minute 0.8 mile walk. Closer than the Premier Inn. There's plenty of Ubers.   I haven't stayed there myself as I usually drive to the heath from home. 

The lockdown in and of itself wasn't so bad - it forced some things like being able to work from home which otherwise wouldn't have happened. The early days were quite anxious and I remember the moment I read the scientific paper with the modelling that suggested lockdown was going to be a matter of months, not days or weeks. 

But lockdown brought a confluence of other issues with it. My mother received a diagnosis for pancreatic cancer a week before lockdown and was stuck in hospital and we were unable to visit. Various treatment options were off the table "because of covid" and even getting simple things done like getting a dressing changed or access to supplies was an utter nightmare. It wasn't until a year later and after involving her local MP that we have access to the right services, care, supplies and advice. It seems like "Covid" was a universal excuse for everything - I could write a book about what we've been through but honestly some of it was so ridiculous nobody would believe it.  At least fighting for her has given me some focus outside of work. Caring for an older person who has a vulnerable illness meant that I had to be more careful than most with regard to contact with other people. 

Work has been ok.  We have seen good demand throughout and actually revenue was up just shy of 5% despite the covid year. I get to work a mix of 60% at home and 40% on-site. It is interesting to see that some people have really gone the extra mile through the pandemic and others have slacked and hidden behind the pandemic using it as an excuse why something can't be done rather than find creative solutions.  

My partner is 100% at home since Jan 2020 and that has affected him quite badly. That's beginning to change a bit now he can get out and go to the gym.

Outside work, motivation has been low for us both. That is a struggle to get over.  You read about people using their time to learn a new language or something, but I can't imagine that. All the things I enjoy - going out, meeting guys, motorcycling, travelling, photography have been curtailed by being locked down. 

Eating and drinking has been a coping mechanism - we've both put on weight which is now a focus to try and reverse. But on hard days it's easy to be bad... and there's not a lot of other ways to blow off steam right now. 

I'm thankful for my PT who has been a constant force of positivity and being able to exercise with him even over Zoom has been great. 

So... its been a mixed bag.  I am sure it would have been worse if we were furloughed or out of work as well. 

This may be of interest - although the section on Safari is a little out of date:

[think before following links] https://www.howtogeek.com/241006/how-to-block-third-party-cookies-in-every-web-browser/

4 hours ago, BBArchangel said:

What????

See: 

[think before following links] https://www.varsity.co.uk/fashion/20084

[think before following links] https://vinnf.medium.com/i-wear-yellow-laces-in-my-boots-6f45916812fa