AirmaxUK

It's an epidemic top shortage, not just in NYC. Covid has taken a lot of guys off the scene. Just checked BBRT for some stats... Across London UK 85% of profiles identify as bottom or vers bottom (which is usually the same thing).  That's six bottoms fighting over every top. 

In recent times I notice the top/bottom thing has become more binary which is a shame as versatile guys seem to migrate to being bottom and now there are fewer loads to go around.

After reading on here some testimonials about Adam4Adam I tried it out... it seems that usage in the UK is quite thin, but annoyingly I do seem to get hits from four or five profiles a day from 3000-4000 miles away - always twinky guys in their 20's with studio like profile pics and message text declaring their undying love at first sight. I experimentally engaged with one to see what the scam is, and it was a pre-canned sob story - needing a place for the night, and request for gas money. (Obviously not in the UK as we don't call it "gas")  I asked what he is driving, as 3000 miles on $40 gas seems like great milage.  That's when he vanished. I do wonder if there are scam-bots running on some of these sites that ping loads of profiles worldwide looking for someone to engage and then you're a mark. 

Absolutely - I love being on the receiving end, so I know the pleasure it brings and I am more than happy to dish it out. But it's not risk-free - I've experienced both pinworms and shigella after rimming. Neither are pleasant. If you see someone itching or scratching his hole, my advice is to move on to the next guy.   

The OP mentioned that Greenhouse has a special piss play area. This is true of both their Luton and Darlaston saunas, but I have never seen anyone use it. I've kneeled in both expectantly and gotten nothing. If it's piss play I'm after, SOP is the obvious choice. Laboratory in Berlin and The Boots in Antwerp usually can find piss play even if that's not the theme. Hampstead Heath too.  I have a friend that's more into it than most and he'll pretty much kneel next to the urinals or lay on the floor under them  in *any* gay club or bar (even fluffy ones) and usually comes home soaking. 

This doesn't seem to happen as often as dodgy porn would have us believe, despite trying. Here's my experience of reality:

A neighbour had some brickwork done in their driveway - it was the house on the other side of the road and two or three doors along. When the contractors started work I kept smelling weed smoke around my property - so I checked my cameras and found the guys doing the brickwork were coming into my garden and smoking behind my garage when on their breaks, which seemed to be once an hour or so... Anyway I decided to work from home one day and took a well timed break with a beer in the back garden. I found them on their break, and was friendly - complimented them on the brickwork and said I could smell their smoke and it was nice... They apologised for coming on to my property and I told them not to worry. The older one seemed quite friendly and comfortable, almost flirtatious. The younger guy a bit more skittish and scared. I suggested when they finish for the day to come over and share a beer and a joint, hoping it might lead to more,  but they never showed again at my place after that. I guess I spooked them!  

More recently we had our electricity meter swapped out to one of those smart meters. They guy who came to do it was quite a nice bear-ey type. When he finished the job he gave me a scrap of paper with his number on it and said that if I have any problems to give him a call... It clearly was his personal number and nothing to do with our energy company. Anyhow after a day or so, I WhatsApp'd the number and said it was all working OK and thanks. It would seem he'd changed his mind as I never got a 'read message double tick' in WhatsApp and no reply.

With lockdown we've been having a lot more deliveries of late. One of the Amazon delivery guys seems to be a regular, and gives off that over friendly vibe that there may be something possible.  On one of the really hot days recently I did offer him a cold drink, but it seems these guys are on a really tight managed schedule and can't stop for a second. So he took a bottle of mineral water and sped off. 

Is it just me or does reality differ from what you read and see??!? 

Or maybe I am using the wrong tactics?

10 hours ago, drscorpio said:

What was bad about your spot? What makes a good spot? Just out of curiosity. 

I was stood in the open in the middle of the room when we were told to put on the hoods. There was a rush to the edges of the room where there were a few  benches, and the various slings and fuck benches. I had the idea in my head that everyone would stand around and the tops would mingle and take you to a place to do their thing.  Turns out it was a bit of a fight for spots where you could bend over and be ready. Being in the middle of the room and unable to see you got bumped around quite a bit and it was very disorienting. Other parties may be different, of course. 

On 4/30/2020 at 4:56 PM, subBottomKink said:

Is that not just a really elaborate German dark room for bottoms though? Or really elaborate anon sex really. I liked the idea when I heard of it, but the more I think about it, it’s just group anon sex. Would a dark room not be much simpler, sweatier, piggier and uninhibited? I suppose the tops can check you out, feel you up and decide if you’re worthy before they fuck you, I guess that could be hot.

Anyone been? What’s the vibe like? Bottoms/mares have ropes around their hands or necks yeah? Can the tops tie you down to things with the ropes and leave you there to be used? That’d make it more interesting for me I think.

Putting your hand up for it all to be over doesn’t appeal to me as much as having to almost fight my way out of a dark room either. I‘ve been grabbed, bent over and fucked as I’ve tried to leave a dark room before 🐽😈🍑

I went to a Fickstutenmarkt party at The Boots in Antwerp last year. It was my first and had the Covid Apocalypse not happened I'd have been back for more. 

It was an interesting experience - they were very strict about being hooded and removing people who peeked. I made two mistakes on my first visit: one was not getting a good spot before the hoods went on and the other was trying to walk around and getting very disoriented trying to find a better spot. 

I found it to me more anonymous than darkrooms as you really could not see a thing and had all choice taken away. In a darkroom you can usually see a little bit and can exert some free will. Not here. 

1 hour ago, RawPlug said:

In the days before apps and we cruised in bars, you’d make eye contact and if they weren’t interested they’d just look away - you’d immediately get the message, and vice versa of course. I guess the not responding on apps/sites is the cyber equivalent but feels starker because there isn’t that visual body language. In that respect, that’s why I personally like the taps on Grindr or the Woofs on Scruff. It’s an ice breaker, and I’m not sure why so many guys clutch their pearls and have an attack of the vapours like a Dowager Duchess over them. But each to their own. 
I try to reply to every (I should be so lucky...) message I get. But sometimes life just intervenes and some messages slip through the cracks. The only messages that I purposefully ignore are those that come from those who quite clearly haven’t read my profile. For instance, my Scruff profile is concise but quite clearly states “if you use “clean” to describe your or anyone else’s status I will ignore you” And yet I STILL get hit on my guys who describe themselves as “clean”. And they, I’m afraid, can sod off. 

Ah yes, eye contact cruising, my nemesis. Being slightly 'on the spectrum', in my younger years eye contact from or with strangers made me really uncomfortable. I've learned to deal with it as it was a part of gay culture for so long. But even today, eye contact in conversation can be hard, especially if I am attracted to someone it becomes intimidating. I also tend not to notice if someone is giving me the look... fortunately my close friends will prompt me. Taps and Woofs on the apps are a great alternative, but if I receive one I usually reply with a message as tapping or woofing back rarely seems to go anywhere. 

Personally, if someone writes me a message where some effort has gone into it (eg it is not just "hi" "oi" or "I'm bored") then I'll reply as I'd hope people would treat me the same way. Knowing how to put someone off without upsetting their feelings is a good life skill to acquire. If they've opened with a compliment but I'm not interested I'll thank them but not reciprocate, and if they persist I'm honest about not being interested. 

Not responding is something I am not comfortable with because if I am on the receiving end of a <no response> then I don't know why. Should I try again another day? I don't know. 

But the thing that comes across as the most cowardly response to a friendly message is blocking the sender totally.  

Sometimes I get a message on one of the apps and log in to read it - but because you appear online everyone thinks you're available now, so you then get a bunch of taps, oinks and messages...  usually just a simple "just checking messages, and not looking to meet now. I'll be in touch another time when I'm free" keeps it positive and doesn't burn bridges. 

Latex catfish do a rubber Burka which may also be useful attire in some circumstances.   

3 hours ago, viking8x6 said:

I've seen many ads touting the advantages of gum jobs. And I know someone personally who has said something about his prowess in giving them to me. I believe he was around 50 at the time, possibly younger. Can't recall whether I ever took him up on it - that was 20 years ago now. He and his hubby are a delightful and piggy couple, still going strong last I checked - really nice and also quite sexy guys.

I recall going to The Boots in Antwerp once - it was their "Yellow Facts" party - there was a guy in total coverage rubber chained to the urinals kneeling on the floor  - the only thing open was a hole around his mouth - and I'm guessing some pepper pot holes at the eyes but you couldn't really see them. Alost 100% coverage. Anyway he was dead keen on sucking guys off and drinking their piss.  I thought it was quite horny so obliged - first piss then BJ... but the BJ was incredible - probably the best I've ever had. He finished me off early - I would have normally been annoyed as it finished the night for me, but it was really good. Downstairs in the bar he removed his hood - this guy was well into his 70s and had not a single tooth remaining. Which explained the awesome BJ. I thanked him and bought him a bottle of Jupiler to suck on... 

7 hours ago, scott0882 said:

No, I mean a bottom that is on the husky/chubby side who are only into skinny to average build tops. 

I think it's not an ironic statement in the same sense as "asking for blindfold anon, but insisting on pics". These people are expressing a preference - there's no unwritten rule about skinny guys should only like skinny guys and bears only like bears. There's a whole bear 'chaser' thing where non-bears like bears... As someone who probably qualifies for the bear tag in most people's eyes (although it's not a label I like), I like all sorts, and sometimes a skinny runt is just what I need. 

In England we have a town called Scunthorpe. There is a known phenomenon called the Scunthorpe problem since the Town's name often triggers decency filters. 

I don't know much about contract law but if a site  had a policy that resulted in accounts being closed and subscriptions voided, wouldn't the owner have to define what constitutes acceptable/unacceptable in a clear and unambiguous way? Context is important, too as many words have multiple meanings depending on context. 

318 -  an improvement on last time I did this, so must be on the right track ! 

9 hours ago, misneach said:

 My other favourite is  'blank profiles will be ignored' from a blank  profile... 

Yes! ...or "profiles without face pic ignored" from one without any pics...

Also what's with guys in their 20's who have "Only interested in guys my own age" on their profile and then message me (in my 40's)...? 

Pigboy Ruben / Ruben Litzky (sp?)

Met him at Snax in Berghain / Laboratory once... nice guy.   

This is why I like the stricter fickstutenmarkt parties where you are not allowed to see the tops at all. 

Some places have tried to copy the parties in the UK but they're not quite the same as the rules aren't enforced. The rules are what makes it horny. 

Thanks for your input, guys: There may be some misunderstanding as I didn't say I was offended by anything or anyone. And I'm not. Perhaps I could have have worded my query more clearly... Anyway:

My thinking was that if the software had a feature to hide certain forums, it may be useful to hide those that are not of interested in from the "unread content" feed. Turns out this is not necessary:

On 6/15/2020 at 8:04 PM, viking8x6 said:

One thing you *can* do is set up a custom feed that only shows some of the recent activity. I did this for my own use with a selection of about 6 threads that I like to catch up on more regularly. My purpose was that if another thread in the same section gets updated more recently, I won't see that these ones are updated without looking - and it's much more convenient to have them all in one place. It's much easier if you "follow" the threads or topics.

To set it up, pull down from the Activity menu at the top of the main page. Then pick "My Activity Streams" and you get a sub-menu including a bunch of convenient pre-set options, but also you can create a new stream, which opens up a form that lets you define what you want to show up there and then save it.

Thank you @viking8x6 for a practical solution, I hadn't realised you can set up your own activity streams. That's a nice feature. 

I am grateful that @RawTop and the moderators who endeavour to keep the right content in designated places. This enables us to choose what content we want to see. I liked the "unread content" feed as a way to quickly catch up - but it is a firehose of *all* the content. The solution suggested by @viking8x6 enables us to choose - and as @dirtyarizona suggests: "If there are certain things you do not want to see [or read], Then Do Not Look At Them."

I note that some of the forums have a pinned note that says something like "if you're in recovery and don't want to see this, let me know". So I gather it must be technically possible to mask forums from a user's view. 

When I scroll through the recent activity to catch up on what's been going on here, there are certain things that appear that can *really* dampen my mood. 

Would it be possible to opt out of the politics forum and straight forums?

I'm just here for the m4m bareback deviancy - thanks. 

Andy

16 hours ago, ErosWired said:

Without any doubt. All to the good. It just leaves the complication that identifying potential partners among the homosexual population isn’t quite as simple as in the hetero population where secondary sex characteristics are usually reliable markers. That is to say: We have no equivalent to boobs.

When the risk of approaching a man of unknown orientation was simply too great, visual codes became necessary, and, if you knew what to look for, marked the individuals in the crowd. Now that the danger is subsiding, the need for covert identification is also disappearing - but not the usefulness that the system offered. Just because we don’t have to hide anymore doesn’t necessarily make us easy to find.

It is likely that putting yourself out there on Grindr etc. has replaced the need for visual codes. 

Without a visual cue that suggested someone's orientation I'd feel exceptionally uncomfortable approaching them. In SoHo, Vauxhall and parts of Berlin the odds are in your favour, but outside these bubbles things are still a long way behind and I'd worry about getting my ass kicked for being forward. 

I'd like to think that the old eye contact thing still worked - but people are so engrossed in their phones that isn't viable. 

Maybe someone needs to use the technology from the Covid tracking apps so that you get a 'gaydar' ping or a notification if someone is nearby!  (Although in the wrong hands, that could be dangerous) 

Most of us are probably aware of the iconic clones of the 70's and 80's.

I remember London in the mid 90's the typical gay clone uniform was a white t-shirt, black 501's, white socks and black Caterpillar boots. You could always spot guys on public transport or on the street and it was a great way to recognise others and cruise them.

These days I tend to only frequent places where clothing is fetish or not required at all, so I'm out of touch. 

Left me wondering in 2020 does the gay clone exist? Or have we merged with mainstream culture and it's disappeared? 

On 4/17/2020 at 1:58 AM, superstard72 said:

Anyone into Sneaker bareback sex?

Absolutely - my first fetish: 

Now this is going to date me but I think it comes from when I was at school we were into breakdancing and high-tops were just beginning to come in to the UK from the US. Being a less affluent background, not everyone could afford them, and I remember one of our gang got to go to Florida one summer and came back with a pair. Everyone was in awe. But he was quite generous and let his friends wear them at lunchtime/breaktime to dance in. I found that quite a turn on and started asking lads I secretly liked to borrow or swap their kicks - that worked a lot better after I got some Jordans for my birthday... but to this day the feel of swapping kicks with a guy hot off his feet - still moist and warm is very powerful feeling for me. Add in some aroma of the sweat and it's heaven. 

Over the years, it goes a lot further and interests have spread to cover socks, boots, getting trampled. Before Covid lockdown we were organising successful monthly parties in London for guys into feet/footwear. 

Add in BB and it's the perfect scene! 

Based on personal experience, a lot of it maybe to do with easy availability: I live out the Chiltern countryside, west of London - not many guys around here, but we're only 28 minutes from central London by train. Guys won't travel out of town to visit even though we have tons of space and they can stay overnight. Why? Probably because guys in London can find what they need on their doorstep pretty much. Although, I find a bit odd as with population density in London being what it is many people live in shared spaces and the first question is usually 'can you accom?'. Yes I can, but they have to travel and they won't. 

That's backed by the my observation that other guys in neighbouring towns and villages don't mind a 10-15 mile trip - and we're all regulars in London for fun. 

I'm often in London for work (pre lockdown) and run against the 'can you accom?' issue which is why I tend to stick to places like central station, vault, etc. 

You might be finding a similar thing is happening with Nottingham and Lincoln. 

For me travelling is about risk - if I think someone might flake then I'll be less inclined to travel. If it's someone I know or have met before then I'd be more inclined. Also I always try and have a plan 'B' if I'm travelling a decent distance - perhaps a nearby sauna or something that ties with another of my hobbies and interests. What I never do is say I'll be somewhere and not show up. For me once the commitment is made there's no backing out. 

I've travelled London to Hull for a session before which was three hours there and three back with traffic... I have plans in the making to visit another BZ guy in Manchester and another in Blackpool when the Covid thing quietens down a bit more - both are long trips. I am in the early stages of planning a visit to Frankfurt to meet someone - but that will likely be combined with other reasons to visit Frankfurt, as that's a fair cost and time commitment. 

Andy

I think if you search these forums you'll find links and references to WhatsApp groups and similar.  

Just seen this article in the London Evening Standard:

Quote

Having sex with someone you don't live with is illegal from today under coronavirus lockdown laws

[think before following links] https://www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/sex-illegal-england-coronavirus-lockdown-restrictions-a4456506.html

I'll just leave that there, then...