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Once said to me by a top, "Jesus fucking Christ dude, I have neighbors, and they have kids." So yeah, I think screamer pretty much describes me, unless I'm trying really hard not to make noise. Of course if I do that, I am too focused on being quiet to really enjoy myself. I about pop a vein trying to be quiet when I cum.

Love poppers and the various popper training videos. Unfortunately I have a really hard time reading the text versions once I am flying. The synthesized speech vids are great, but I haven't had a lot of luck locating more than a few of those.

Poptronic, you really need to look for someone that you can trust to work with face-to-face and one-on-one that is familiar with your situation, somneone who is capable of providing either support while the walls crash down, or insight into how to keep those walls up, after working out what you want to do. Ultimately, you have up to this point lived a double life, with walls between a hetero you and a homo you. Being diagnosed with HIV effects the total you, and has poked a hole big enough to drive a bus through in the wall that separated the hetero and homo parts of your life. In short, the arrangement of your life is more complex than the single issue question you asked. While commentors can provide insights and debate on this one issue, and that may or may not be helpful, you have many more issues to deal with. Whether you end this relationship or not (one facet of your life), you still have other areas of your life, and a lot of years left to live, that will need your attention, thought, and reflection. And in the face of what seems to be overwhelming news, your HIV positive diagnosis, having the perspective of another tangible person, as well as their support, is crucial to helping you regroup, then reorganize your life.

For keeping it in, have the bottom lay on his side, keeping the leg on the bed straight, bending the other one (should look like the bottom is climbing stairs. Then have the top straddle the straight leg. Great angle for deep thrusting all around, but better for keeping it inside in general.

The load that changed me was with a hookup I almost didn't expect to hear from again. Not that I didn't want to, but at the time guys came and went so regularly that it wasn't really a big deal to meet a guy, fuck, and never see him again. Greensboro was just like that.get online, chat for a bit, exchange some details like status, time, and place, and presto, you're getting paid. I loved it. Anyway, I had gone to his place and it was a very good fuck, the guy had a rather large cock, not massive by internet standards, but bigger than what I was used to. We fucked bare and he wasn't gentle. He fucked hard, but did some while keeping me in a bear hug and whispering sweet things in my ear. He came inside. We dressed and I left. End of story. Or so I thought. Out of the blue my phone rings and there is some guy crying on the other end of the line. I couldn't make out a damn thing of who it was or what the problem was. The call went on for a while and I finally learned that it was the guy that had fucked me, he was newly diagnosed as positive, he was sorry to the point of sounding suicidal, and felt I needed to get tested as well. I'm a big guy, obvious from my pic, and was even bigger at the time. Like 400lbs big. I went to get an HIV test at our student health center and was asked, through laughter, "why I thought I would need that." It was obvious that miss professional didn't feel a fat guy was capable of having a sex life. I ended up having to pitch a holy fit to get tested. Then reality hit. "I could be HIV Positive. What the hell am I doing?" A good friend went through my breakdown with me, and I came out on the other side of it realizing that this is what I was doing, bareback sex, I liked it, there were consequences, and HIV was one of them. The test was negative. I ended up having to fight just as much for the follow up, also negative. And, little more than a decade later, I haven't had an HIV test since. And won't. I will die before I go through the humiliation of being told I am "not attractive enough" to have possibly gotten HIV.

It may not be the most politically correct thing to say, but the "it only takes once" warning, while true, isn't a guarantee. It also depends on other aspects as well, such as overall health (health problems make it harder to fight infections so you are more likely to pick up everything coming and going). Then there is also the types of people you are fucking and their own health. Again, not PC, but if you are going for the married type or if you are in a middle to upperclass area, those guys typically hit the sidelines and get treated before going back out to play. You may also live in an area with a lower risk of infection. While we are taught to fear stranger sex as a doormat for disease, and that there is an infected cock lurking in every dark corner, that's not necessarily true. Check out statistics for your local health department (or departments in areas you play) and you may learn that they are nearly bored off their asses. Failing all of that, I suggest buying lottery tickets, you must be gifted in a different way! In all seriousness, there can be a sense of WTF?! when one learns that safe sex education is about 2 parts fear mongering to 1part medical science. Not that I'm suggesting you take my word for it, but I do suggest looking up the studies cited as evidence for safe sex or the pending epidemic of one STI after another. Often times the data doesn't support, or only loosely supports, the claims being made.

Depends on the guy, but generally I have found I enjoy the sex more. Hope it's a good time!

Hey, Not a life or death issue, but I have noticed an issue attempting to browse the site from my phone. I don't remember having an issue before, not sure whether something changed with the site, or if I lost that ability when I bought a new phone. The popup agreement when one lands on the site (see below) places the OK/CANCEL buttons off the screen. In Chrome browser. There's no way to bring them up to click on them. Phone Info Model: Blue Products - Blu Life Play L100a OS: Android 4.2.1 Screen: 720 x 1280 pixels, 4.7 inches (~312 ppi pixel density) Just a side thought, while talking about mobile devices, I've also noticed there isn't a straight path to upload images straight from mobile devices. Is there future solution for that in the works? Speaking for myself, I've become a bit of a tablet and phone whore, so not only is most of my content on a mobile device, but I rarely use my laptop any more. The basic uploader will let me choose a file, but the upload link doesn't do anything (the file name box clears, the uploader box remains, and no content seems to be uploaded in any way that I can locate it. Hugs, thanks for all you do RawTop!

That is quite possibly the least likely scenario anyone could imagine. More likely would be someone who was stealthed, straight man (men) who enjoy gay bashing, a self loathing closet case, and an angry wife who caught her man cheating, spring to mind for me. I mean this is some serious intent on revenge, that doesn't happen just because you can't get laid. And in another direction, how BAD is this decision on the part of the person who is running that site. I mean, you are talking TONS of potential legal issues. Using someone's pictures without permission, targeting people for violence, and the unknown variable of whether the pictures are of the person. I mean, it is the internet, it's not like guys using someone else's pics and pretending to be someone you are not is unheard of. So to go to these lengths, the time, trouble, expense, and potential legal ramifications, would clearly indicate someone that is incredibly impulsive and reckless, or someone who realizes what they are doing, and is angry enough to accept the potential consequences. Either way, its not just a dangerous site, the people/persons behind it are as well.

Love guys with pierced dicks! I have surprised a few tops by being excited, rather than afraid or angry, with their jewelry. My favorite piercing though is a Jacobs' ladder. That one drives me up the walls.

Its not lack of education, it is crap education. Safe sex is, in a nutshell, the worst way for anyone to be introduced to sex, sexuality, and intimacy. Most of it is built on a slut shaming, condoms or else, true love waits mentality that, effectively, says "do as we say, or else." That creates a series of problems, especially when it comes to teens. 1.) It creates a taboo. 2.) It makes safe sex an "all or nothing" issue. Either you use a condom every time, or . . .? Or becomes "don't bother using them at all." Many people are at a loss in the safe sex mindset with what to done once they cross the line into "even once." 3.) It focuses on creating a condom fetish instead of discussing risk, choices, personal responsibility for sex and sexual health, and harm reduction.

Sounds like you may just be a bit rusty and missing the signs of impending clinginess, or just having a run of bad luck. I have experienced both, and with both tops and bottoms. Sometimes it is a function of being horny and seeing the meat (ass or cock) you want, but having blinders toward those little signs that he is husband shopping. Being friendly and a little chit chat never hurt anyone, but if it begins to feel like a life story, that's usually going to end in static cling. Then there are the guys who actually seek out the sex but their minds convert it into a "relationship." These guys are usually horribly abused by a conservative background, not that the background was necessarily abusive, but it creates a warped world view that they struggle to maintain. Some are true sluts who just want to fuck, but because the words "stable committed relationship" have been so closely associated with sex and/or barebacking, they end up in a "relationship" at "hello" in order to justify their actions. Some are more delusional than others.

What do you crave most? Cock or loads deep in you? <b>Loads</b> Do you ever feel satisfied or are the cravings insatiable? <b>Insatiable, there never seems to be enough cum for me.</b> How many loads does it take to turn you into an “any cock, any hole, any load” guy? <b>Ummmm, none, any? Wait, what? No load refused bottom here, kind of always ready to take anyone. So it's not really a function of loads droving desire for more loads, or sluttiness coming from sex, I'm just a slut. It doesn't turn on and off, it's always on.</b> How old were you when you first realized it was about your hole/pussy/cunt and not your cock? Was it innate and there from the beginning or did you learn it over time? <b>Age 7, then it was all about wanting to see guys cocks, taste them, and I hadn't learned about the wonderful world of cum yet. It's not that it isn't about my cock, it's that I have two separate desires that don't have to be fulfilled at once for a good time. I have people to use for my needs, and I don't really like it when someone makes a halfhearted fumbling reach around attempt solely because I made them cum. Quit feeling guilty because you got your nut and I, ahem actually I did, didn't. You sought me out to drop yours, I sought you to take it. I have my own cum dumps when I need to drop mine. It's cool. Stop, drop, and ROLL, quit manhandling my junk mindlessly because you feel its expected. And that is innate, if anything I have learned only enough to fake an orgasm so that some guy will quit fumbling around and let me take his nut and go.</b> The hottest opening line I ever heard was, “I don’t care about my cock.” Do you even think about cumming? Do you have a need to? <b>I kind of touched on this in the previous, but yes I do think about cumming, yes I do need to, but not when I am taking loads.</b> When you are home alone, do you play with your hole or your dick? <b>Dick. May hit the prostate a good couple times to help things along, but I fucking hate toys unless someone is using them on me. Maybe if I had a fuck machine, I <i>might</i> be more interested in toys, but I kind of doubt it. I haven't found a realistic non-latex (seriously allergic to latex, like on my medical records, and you really don't want to see what happens, allergic) dildo yet. And by realistic, I mean actually feels like a cock. I want me, not toys, I like how they feel in my ass. Not that the occasional vivrator (hard plastic) hitting the prostate is bad.</b> Are you afraid of how deep your cravings are and the levels you will submit to in an effort to satisfy them? <b>No, but others probably should be. ;-)</b> Do you tell your friends about your cumdump desires or are those separate and secret? <b>A freak in the sheets, a lady on the streets. Seriously, moms love me, I tend to be the last person anyone even thinks would be taking loads in a Walmart bathroom, in an adult theater, or from a guy that said "Hi" that I responded to with my address. Its fun.</b> What would you choose…sucking a hot guy’s huge dick or taking a taking a heavy-set Daddy’s load up your ass? <b>Heavy-set Daddy's load up my ass, please.</b> Anonymous sesssions or do you prefer to see who is fucking you? <b>Either way.</b> Is there anything more important to you than taking loads? <b>No.</b>

Eh, its really less about body type and more about just being appealing. Sure, lots of guys have a "type" that they say they prefer, but as a bigger guy myself, I have seen that go out the window in a heartbeat. To get the most loads one only needs to be the most available, easiest to get to, and pleasant to fuck. As a 340lb college student I had way too much cum dripping out of me far too often to have been the "type" that all of those guys were looking for.

I wish I could get that to happen to me. I have caused a couple, apparently always the bridesmaid never the bride. Lol One guy I could damn near have an orgasm at a slight breeze. But the other guy was surprising, he had back issues and was loaded up on pot, poppers, and Vicodin that night. The usual arrangement was me being spit roasted between him and his partner, and he usually barely got hard and needed a long time to get off. Lots of time spent with my nose in his pubes. That night he wanted something different, so he had me top him. He was usually more aggressive when he came from a blow job, all "fuck yeah, gonna cum bitch, swallow it" but that night was more, well, ummmm, lady like. Like RuPaul lady like. Like picturing Pee Wee Herman having an orgasm. And more cum than he had ever given me to swallow. So yeah, it happens. Enjoy. You lucky bitch! ;-)

Nice to see the ackwoledgement that rough and S&M are not the same, and that is probably the most important point that anyone can make. Well besides the fact that many S&M guys are more focused on the power play, which becomes the sex, more than the actual sex (at least in my experience) so you were essentially looking for different things. Kind of like the time I hooked up with a crossdresser and learned many valuable things, mostly about myself. Not to mention S&M is not really something one just does with just anyone. I mean two people into it can probably hookup easily, but otherwise no. Same for things like fisting, etc. One does not simply walk into that, uninitiated, and a leave recounting a great time was had by all.

Feature wise, of Forum Runner, I think I miss having a link in the mobile site (I may not have found it yet, so excuse me if I'm commenting about something I haven't found yet) to access subscribed posts. At least its not in the shortcuts. It is a great way for me to keep up on particular threads of high interest. I check out what's new, but its nice to just be able to hit a list of my subscriptions.

Thought I would as for clarification because I think I understand, but I don't I know how much rawtop has used the app. Do you mean the Current section (similar to the recent activity page of the website and the What's New section of the mobile site) and original post or last reply that is picked up there? That's kind of a helpful and unhelpful feature to me. If you know what the post is about, it can be great, just quickly see the last comment, but sometimes people's responses (like "yeah, same here") can kinda kill the usefulness.

I have used Forum Runner for a while. Mostly because the site didn't have much in the way of a mobile theme. I spend most of my time on my tablet, and FR did offer some useful features. But it was kind of a one trick pony in terms of sites that it works with. Mobile theme looks great and seems to work well. Just uninstalled FR.

LOL! I had a great time reading through these, and certainly enjoyed knowing that I'm not the only one who reads a post with these things and thinks"NEXT!" One of my biggest pet peeves when I'm in total bottom mode are posts in which guys are apologetic, or obviously defensive, about their age, looks, etc. Those "I know I'm not everyone's cup of tea, but . . ." posts. I know I have made that mistake in the past, and certainly won't again, so whatever it is you feel the need to apologize for, don't. Another one, in the same vein, is being contacted by someone who pretty much starts their message with an apology. Whether they are apologizing for being older, poz, or whatever, they hit the ground failing. Or they do it three emails later, "I hope you don't mind that I am . . ." whatever. Well not until you got all "will you be my therapist" about it. Now I mind. Not because you are whatever, but because I want to get fucked, not spend the night reassuring you that you are still sexy despite your obvious insecurity in yourself.

My yes and no response is kind of different than the one influenced the other meaning. It wasn't that one necessarily influenced the other, it was more so that I liked barebacking, didn't know it had a name, and felt dirty and shameful for doing it when I "Kew that the right thing was to use a condom every time." I was also a really naive kid who believed that safe sex education was the holy bible of sexuality. So finally understanding that wanting to fuck without a condom wasn't the horrible, nasty, totally unforgivable thing I thought it was, was a tremendous experience. And all thanks to porn did I learn that it wasn't abnormal, and that there were words for it, and that I wasn't a freak. I watch bareback porn because to me that is sex, granted I wish we could get some well done porn between the chub and muscle twink body types, but I digress. Would I have not have had bareback sex without watching bareback porn, no. I was already having bareback sex without watching bareback porn, because I didn't even know what to look for. Porn doesn't tell me what to do, it tells me that other people do what I like to do, and that it isn't some major extreme super fetish that no one has ever heard of.

I'm kind of the anti-size queen. Tell me you have less than 6 inches and I'll be on you like a stalker. I'm a greedy bitch when it comes to sex, and guys under 6" are what I like to call door knockers, sex with them is incredible because it knocks the hell out of my prostate. As for girth, it depends on the top and their fuck pattern. If its going to be hard and fast, that's gotta be on the average to slim side. But a slow fucker can be thick, thin, or average. Now, all of that being said, I do like to think of that as my "daily preferences." That's what I want about 360 days a year. But every once in a while I get in a mood and want a big one, at which point everything I just said goes out the window, and I don't really care so long as I get to scream (or I am gagged), the poppers are fresh, and/or other refreshments are provided while the top fucks me. I'm a noisy fuck anyway, whether you have 3" on the thin side or (my current largest taken of) 11" on the thick side. My only real issue with big cocks, and why they are not my daily preferred, is that they just aren't practical. Mean I'm that you can't just take one any time, anywhere. Or at least I can't. And I like being able to have a dry or spit lubed cock shoved inside of me—in public, the middle of the night, whenever, wherever a top gets horny—at random. Bog cocks, and why I consider them more of a special occasion item, take planning, lube, and don't lend themselves to being taken without me making a lot of noise. None of which is really all that conducive to "hi, wanna fuck" moments.

Actually the previous poster answered your question, but left out a few dotted lines to make that clear. The first dotted line is that Viagra, Levitra, and Cialis are the same, kind of like Tylenol, Aspirin, and Ibuprofen are all pain relievers. The big three in ED are different chemical compounds targeting the same element of body chemistry, PDE5, and inhibiting it. The second dotted line is that inhibiting PDE5 causes vasodialation, a big fancy word for relaxing smooth muscles and increasing blood flow while decreasing blood pressure. The third dotted line is that poppers are also vasodialators, albeit temporary ones, that you self control. Put together, the point is this, regardless of which of the big three ED drugs someone is taking, they all work the same way, and that way is similar in body effect on blood pressure, as poppers. While the ED med and poppers combo is most likely to give you the mother of all headaches, the heart speeds up when blood pressure goes down, and if blood pressure drops too much, it can cause heart attacks and strokes, as well as causing you to faint. Now, as for reality, there are guys who mix the two without issues. Having high blood pressure to start with helps to offset the potential for problems, but that's not a guarantee. Some people who do not have a blood pressure issue to start with, who already take a BP medication, or who have a heart condition, may find themselves kind of woozy from just taking the ED medication on its own. These guys who be at a great risk of fainting or kicking off a major medical problem. Somewhere in the middle is where most people will be, and will probably find the rush isn't as good as it was before and that it gives them a headache.

Go with what is working until it stops working. Just be prepared to have a calm discussion and/or for things to go boom if he finds out.